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11%

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

According to various sources, a woman has only an 11% chance of orgasm with a heterosexual partner. Obviously in these circles that is likely to be skewed for various reasons but it’s an interesting thought.

Ladies; do you believe this is the case? If you’re meeting someone, how likely are you to orgasm? Would it bother you if you didn’t orgasm?

Guys; what does this statistic make you think or feel? Has a partner ever faked an orgasm with you or you know that she hasn’t orgasmed?

Thoughts folks…

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I believe it.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm not sure if on here is representative of wider society. After all we're all sex people, aren't we? I mean surely those statistics include people who are ignorant to sex and/or very selfish and/or their attitudes to sex are affected by upbringing/culture/beliefs.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow is it that low? What’s the source of this stat?

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe it. "

What makes you believe it? Personal experience or something wider?

Just curious

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

100 % with me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm not sure if on here is representative of wider society. After all we're all sex people, aren't we? I mean surely those statistics include people who are ignorant to sex and/or very selfish and/or their attitudes to sex are affected by upbringing/culture/beliefs."

That’s why I wrote that I think the ‘results’ would be skewed here, as the majority are more vocal/understanding of themselves and others

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I do believe that yes. As a poster said before, we will have a skewed perspective being (somewhat) sex positive.

Bar once, I've always orgasmed when I've met someone. That doesn't mean they've all been particularly thoughtful of their sexual partner, more penetrative sex makes me orgasm easily, other ways less so. I wouldn't mind too much if I didn't as long as I didn't feel like a human come sock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took me serveral meets (her) before I was able to orgasm. so very much believe that statistic. however just because I didnt. did not mean I was not having fun and honestly had a great time so not all about the orgasm but now I do orgasm its even more fun.haha. XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely believe it. I've never had an orgasm with anyone I've met outside of my marriage, and only with two of my previous long term partners.

When I have a meet I assume I won't have an orgasm and just enjoy the experience for what it is.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Wow is it that low? What’s the source of this stat?"

It’s research from 2009 I believe

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate "

Have a quick google, it seems low but it appears to be true

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By *an hjCouple
over a year ago

Stowmarket

11%.... ?

I have never failed to have an orgasm, regardless of which sex they were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

erm thats not a number i recognize its very rare that i dont orgasm at least once when having fun and after the first one they keep coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate

Have a quick google, it seems low but it appears to be true"

Do you mean orgasm through actual intercourse?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I enjoy skewing so even though I may have a very small study group in comparison to some the percentage is much higher in my experience.

Mostly due to no pressure meets and avoiding having to tick boxes so everyone is much more relaxed

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Interesting statistic, which one cannot respond to in these forums without accusations of less than being honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

totally agree with this xx

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate

Have a quick google, it seems low but it appears to be true

Do you mean orgasm through actual intercourse?"

Orgasm through intercourse is much lower than men but around 60%, the 11% is not at all.

As I said, on here the findings would be skewed but I can absolutely believe the results

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I enjoy skewing so even though I may have a very small study group in comparison to some the percentage is much higher in my experience.

Mostly due to no pressure meets and avoiding having to tick boxes so everyone is much more relaxed"

I agree.

Would you be upset if you knew that past partners had faked orgasms though?

Statistics state that someone is likely to have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate

Have a quick google, it seems low but it appears to be true

Do you mean orgasm through actual intercourse?

Orgasm through intercourse is much lower than men but around 60%, the 11% is not at all.

As I said, on here the findings would be skewed but I can absolutely believe the results "

I don't think I understand the stats

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"11%.... ?

I have never failed to have an orgasm, regardless of which sex they were."

Is that down to you or them, do you think?

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

So it’s true then? A woman is very rarely satisfied.

As an aside Tom’s gonna be pissed you found this sweet nugget of “breaking news” before him.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"11%?

No, I think that's too low to be accurate

Have a quick google, it seems low but it appears to be true

Do you mean orgasm through actual intercourse?

Orgasm through intercourse is much lower than men but around 60%, the 11% is not at all.

As I said, on here the findings would be skewed but I can absolutely believe the results

I don't think I understand the stats "

Like I said; have a google, the research was from 2009, so fairly recent

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"So it’s true then? A woman is very rarely satisfied.

As an aside Tom’s gonna be pissed you found this sweet nugget of “breaking news” before him. "

Hardly breaking news, it’s 12 years old. Also it’s not about racism or bigotry and it doesn’t show guys in a flattering light, so it’s not really in his wheelhouse

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"I enjoy skewing so even though I may have a very small study group in comparison to some the percentage is much higher in my experience.

Mostly due to no pressure meets and avoiding having to tick boxes so everyone is much more relaxed

I agree.

Would you be upset if you knew that past partners had faked orgasms though?

Statistics state that someone is likely to have"

I'm only interested in what's happening in the moment. What's gone before has no bearing

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I believe it.

What makes you believe it? Personal experience or something wider?

Just curious "

I bit of both. There's a lot of misconceptions about female pleasure and female orgasms floating around. Some men are also rediculously stubborn when it comes to how they want to have sex regardless of what their sexual partner wants. Some also have some sexual hang ups that prevent them fulfilling a partners needs because they have very rigid ideas about masculinity. They would rather leave a partner unsatisfied and shrug it off as her problem than fulfill them in ways that would cause a slight to their ego (i.e. Not purely with their magical penis).

I had a relationship of a year with a guy who only gave me one orgasm in that whole year. I would regularly finish myself after sex. He wasn't interested in learning what pleased me and would shame me for not reaching orgasm in ways he expected me to telling me that he "always got girls to orgasm that way". But then this is the same guy who argued that if a woman says she's cum it's a different thing to an orgasm. And no he didn't mean female ejaculation. He genuinely believed women had an in between type of climax that was good but less than an orgasm. He also said he didn't trust women when they said they had an orgasm unless they gushed.

I dated another guy for a while who never gave me an orgasm. I tried telling him what I liked and what worked for me but you can't make people do things, it's not right. He was only interested in penetrative acts and foreplay was virtually non-existent.

People always talk about how good sex is about good communication but sometimes you can talk until the cows come home but if someone refuses to meet you in the middle, it isn't going to work.

On the flip side, I've had sex with men where I've lost count of the number of orgasms and they've left me broken and totally spent . Unfortunately though, you just don't know when you're goi5to get one of those or when you're going to get the opposite.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Sounds like just another made up statistic to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/21 12:59:45]

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By *inkyJamesMan
over a year ago

80020 Broomfield


"According to various sources, a woman has only an 11% chance of orgasm with a heterosexual partner. Obviously in these circles that is likely to be skewed for various reasons but it’s an interesting thought.

Ladies; do you believe this is the case? If you’re meeting someone, how likely are you to orgasm? Would it bother you if you didn’t orgasm?

Guys; what does this statistic make you think or feel? Has a partner ever faked an orgasm with you or you know that she hasn’t orgasmed?

Thoughts folks…"

How I am wondering @ least in my case how many were faking it

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I enjoy skewing so even though I may have a very small study group in comparison to some the percentage is much higher in my experience.

Mostly due to no pressure meets and avoiding having to tick boxes so everyone is much more relaxed

I agree.

Would you be upset if you knew that past partners had faked orgasms though?

Statistics state that someone is likely to have

I'm only interested in what's happening in the moment. What's gone before has no bearing"

Elegantly sidestepped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really struggle to orgasm from penetration alone, it happened but I can count the times it has happened. Which isn’t necessarily a necessity for me, as I enjoy the feeling of being penetrated anyway as it is, I treat it more like a bonus.

Would be interesting tho once I go post op to see if I can climax from penetration more easily

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"So it’s true then? A woman is very rarely satisfied.

As an aside Tom’s gonna be pissed you found this sweet nugget of “breaking news” before him.

Hardly breaking news, it’s 12 years old. Also it’s not about racism or bigotry and it doesn’t show guys in a flattering light, so it’s not really in his wheelhouse "

So you “necro’d” it. For shame.

Don’t worry folks. It’s NOT all over the news and I have a sneaky suspicion he IS making this up (y’know)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

So not applicable for me. I am multi orgasmic with anyone who knows what he is doing.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Sounds like just another made up statistic to me "

Google is your friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe it.

What makes you believe it? Personal experience or something wider?

Just curious

I bit of both. There's a lot of misconceptions about female pleasure and female orgasms floating around. Some men are also rediculously stubborn when it comes to how they want to have sex regardless of what their sexual partner wants. Some also have some sexual hang ups that prevent them fulfilling a partners needs because they have very rigid ideas about masculinity. They would rather leave a partner unsatisfied and shrug it off as her problem than fulfill them in ways that would cause a slight to their ego (i.e. Not purely with their magical penis).

I had a relationship of a year with a guy who only gave me one orgasm in that whole year. I would regularly finish myself after sex. He wasn't interested in learning what pleased me and would shame me for not reaching orgasm in ways he expected me to telling me that he "always got girls to orgasm that way". But then this is the same guy who argued that if a woman says she's cum it's a different thing to an orgasm. And no he didn't mean female ejaculation. He genuinely believed women had an in between type of climax that was good but less than an orgasm. He also said he didn't trust women when they said they had an orgasm unless they gushed.

I dated another guy for a while who never gave me an orgasm. I tried telling him what I liked and what worked for me but you can't make people do things, it's not right. He was only interested in penetrative acts and foreplay was virtually non-existent.

People always talk about how good sex is about good communication but sometimes you can talk until the cows come home but if someone refuses to meet you in the middle, it isn't going to work.

On the flip side, I've had sex with men where I've lost count of the number of orgasms and they've left me broken and totally spent . Unfortunately though, you just don't know when you're goi5to get one of those or when you're going to get the opposite. "

Thanks for this answer.

I think that this identifies part of the issue; that some men think they know better, don’t or won’t listen

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"So it’s true then? A woman is very rarely satisfied.

As an aside Tom’s gonna be pissed you found this sweet nugget of “breaking news” before him.

Hardly breaking news, it’s 12 years old. Also it’s not about racism or bigotry and it doesn’t show guys in a flattering light, so it’s not really in his wheelhouse

So you “necro’d” it. For shame.

Don’t worry folks. It’s NOT all over the news and I have a sneaky suspicion he IS making this up (y’know) "

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

After Lacey Red’s post, I wonder how important a partners orgasm is for people, whether the partners pleasure is as important to them as their own is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mind you there was a tv advery recently, forget what for, but it said the average sex takes 97 seconds, we were pissing ourselves, so its hardly supprising alot of women say they dont orgasm

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By *an hjCouple
over a year ago

Stowmarket


"11%.... ?

I have never failed to have an orgasm, regardless of which sex they were.

Is that down to you or them, do you think? "

Bit of both, I do orgasm pretty easily though.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"After Lacey Red’s post, I wonder how important a partners orgasm is for people, whether the partners pleasure is as important to them as their own is?

"

Part of me does wonder if its kind of a defence mechanism like some kids are about school work. "If I don't even try then I didn't really fail."

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"After Lacey Red’s post, I wonder how important a partners orgasm is for people, whether the partners pleasure is as important to them as their own is?

"

Until a few years ago my partner's pleasure was always more important than my own. Now it's all about mutual pleasure and orgasms including my own aren't the ultimate aim so it's never an issue. It only becomes an issue when guys see it as a challenge to be overcome.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"After Lacey Red’s post, I wonder how important a partners orgasm is for people, whether the partners pleasure is as important to them as their own is?

"

I would say no. At least on fab. I very rarely get a shag so I better way be having a good time, as for the unfortunate person that agreed to meet me, well look, there are a bazillion fellas on here, don’t be so selfish you can have your pick of shags.

I’m sorry I was crap, but let’s face “interchangeable Andys’” (as a friend calls men on fab) are ten a penny, you’ll find one that knows what he is doing soon enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum.

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By *ohnywrongunMan
over a year ago

Epping

Orgasm togethers the best

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum. "

Aww CJ

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum. "

Myth – Idling my engine can reduce engine wear. ... When your car engine is cold, the fuel injectors send more fuel through the system. As the engine warms, it needs less fuel to run efficiently. So the longer you let a cold engine idle, the more fuel you waste and the more you increase the chance of fuel residue build

#blokedownthepubisNOTamechanic

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum. "

Thanks Swiss Tony

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum.

Myth – Idling my engine can reduce engine wear. ... When your car engine is cold, the fuel injectors send more fuel through the system. As the engine warms, it needs less fuel to run efficiently. So the longer you let a cold engine idle, the more fuel you waste and the more you increase the chance of fuel residue build

#blokedownthepubisNOTamechanic"

So the lesson here is, you might not orgasm but you’ll definitely learn about engine care?

I see that as a win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Personally I just jump in and drive away.

I’m so confused

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important."

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum.

Thanks Swiss Tony

"

I can only hear this in that voice now!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

"

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum.

Myth – Idling my engine can reduce engine wear. ... When your car engine is cold, the fuel injectors send more fuel through the system. As the engine warms, it needs less fuel to run efficiently. So the longer you let a cold engine idle, the more fuel you waste and the more you increase the chance of fuel residue build

#blokedownthepubisNOTamechanic"

As we all know, women’s cars are powered by fairydust, they even have the stickers in the back windows telling everyone so, even though I’ve quite clearly seen women filling up their cars at the unleaded and diesel pumps. Sorry ladies, you’ve been rumbled.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance "

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I believe it.

What makes you believe it? Personal experience or something wider?

Just curious

I bit of both. There's a lot of misconceptions about female pleasure and female orgasms floating around. Some men are also rediculously stubborn when it comes to how they want to have sex regardless of what their sexual partner wants. Some also have some sexual hang ups that prevent them fulfilling a partners needs because they have very rigid ideas about masculinity. They would rather leave a partner unsatisfied and shrug it off as her problem than fulfill them in ways that would cause a slight to their ego (i.e. Not purely with their magical penis).

I had a relationship of a year with a guy who only gave me one orgasm in that whole year. I would regularly finish myself after sex. He wasn't interested in learning what pleased me and would shame me for not reaching orgasm in ways he expected me to telling me that he "always got girls to orgasm that way". But then this is the same guy who argued that if a woman says she's cum it's a different thing to an orgasm. And no he didn't mean female ejaculation. He genuinely believed women had an in between type of climax that was good but less than an orgasm. He also said he didn't trust women when they said they had an orgasm unless they gushed.

I dated another guy for a while who never gave me an orgasm. I tried telling him what I liked and what worked for me but you can't make people do things, it's not right. He was only interested in penetrative acts and foreplay was virtually non-existent.

People always talk about how good sex is about good communication but sometimes you can talk until the cows come home but if someone refuses to meet you in the middle, it isn't going to work.

On the flip side, I've had sex with men where I've lost count of the number of orgasms and they've left me broken and totally spent . Unfortunately though, you just don't know when you're goi5to get one of those or when you're going to get the opposite. "

*Standing ovation*

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

"

Yes

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question! "

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum.

Myth – Idling my engine can reduce engine wear. ... When your car engine is cold, the fuel injectors send more fuel through the system. As the engine warms, it needs less fuel to run efficiently. So the longer you let a cold engine idle, the more fuel you waste and the more you increase the chance of fuel residue build

#blokedownthepubisNOTamechanic

As we all know, women’s cars are powered by fairydust, they even have the stickers in the back windows telling everyone so, even though I’ve quite clearly seen women filling up their cars at the unleaded and diesel pumps. Sorry ladies, you’ve been rumbled. "

If your ladies are “dusty” you need to improve your technique chap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree. For past few years my pleasure has definitely not been top of the list!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t find this surprising, I think it’s down to the demise of fingering, somehow priming a woman up has become passé, you wouldn’t just start an engine then jump in and drive with the engine cold. You’ve got to check her oil, pulling the dipstick in and out several times, give her a wipe down, let her run for a while, Rev her engine, make sure her headlights are working. Bring her slowly up to speed then you will hear here purr. Look after a woman and she will look after you for years to cum. "

Reminds me I need a service...

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

The only person I have had sex with and not had an orgasm was my ex-husband who was (after a few years of marriage) only interested in pleasing himself.

This is one of the many reasons why he is an ex.

I've never had any problems with men I have met from here though, I have always been well satisfied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I believe it.

What makes you believe it? Personal experience or something wider?

Just curious

I bit of both. There's a lot of misconceptions about female pleasure and female orgasms floating around. Some men are also rediculously stubborn when it comes to how they want to have sex regardless of what their sexual partner wants. Some also have some sexual hang ups that prevent them fulfilling a partners needs because they have very rigid ideas about masculinity. They would rather leave a partner unsatisfied and shrug it off as her problem than fulfill them in ways that would cause a slight to their ego (i.e. Not purely with their magical penis).

I had a relationship of a year with a guy who only gave me one orgasm in that whole year. I would regularly finish myself after sex. He wasn't interested in learning what pleased me and would shame me for not reaching orgasm in ways he expected me to telling me that he "always got girls to orgasm that way". But then this is the same guy who argued that if a woman says she's cum it's a different thing to an orgasm. And no he didn't mean female ejaculation. He genuinely believed women had an in between type of climax that was good but less than an orgasm. He also said he didn't trust women when they said they had an orgasm unless they gushed.

I dated another guy for a while who never gave me an orgasm. I tried telling him what I liked and what worked for me but you can't make people do things, it's not right. He was only interested in penetrative acts and foreplay was virtually non-existent.

People always talk about how good sex is about good communication but sometimes you can talk until the cows come home but if someone refuses to meet you in the middle, it isn't going to work.

On the flip side, I've had sex with men where I've lost count of the number of orgasms and they've left me broken and totally spent . Unfortunately though, you just don't know when you're goi5to get one of those or when you're going to get the opposite. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"100 % with me lol "

Same here

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"100 % with me lol

Same here"

Yeah me too (flex)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"According to various sources, a woman has only an 11% chance of orgasm with a heterosexual partner. Obviously in these circles that is likely to be skewed for various reasons but it’s an interesting thought.

Ladies; do you believe this is the case? If you’re meeting someone, how likely are you to orgasm? Would it bother you if you didn’t orgasm?

Thoughts folks…"

11% sounds about right to me.

Me: Meets, less than 1% had an orgasm.

No it doesn't bother me. Sex is about more than orgasms. If I want an orgasm I have a wank.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do"

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn?

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I've always known this. And as one of the "11%", I've always been jealous of women on here who can orgasm at the drop of a hat.

It's very rare I'll orgasm on a first meet and I've never orgasmed through penetrative sex. Even with long term partners. I need a helluva lot of foreplay to get in the right frame of mind, and most guys won't put in enough effort.

That being said, I love sex and approach it with the expectation that I'll not orgasm, so when it does happen, I'm pleasantly surprised. X

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

https://youtu.be/0PewiUobfpU

E

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations."

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn? "

Very much.

I've mentioned before that my sex education was even more backwards than that - hide your modesty to protect the virtue of the men folk, and you'll want to have sex for babies and to do your duty to your husband, etc.

Took awhile to disentangle that bullshit.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem? "

Yes, but the only answer is a) him dealing with his shit (not in my power) or b) me getting the heck out of there.

B was my answer, but these things are never immediate.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I don't believe this, I can say with my hand on heart there has never been any faking orgasms. Maybe too many guys rush to get themselves off and fail to put the effort in

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I've always known this. And as one of the "11%", I've always been jealous of women on here who can orgasm at the drop of a hat.

It's very rare I'll orgasm on a first meet and I've never orgasmed through penetrative sex. Even with long term partners. I need a helluva lot of foreplay to get in the right frame of mind, and most guys won't put in enough effort.

That being said, I love sex and approach it with the expectation that I'll not orgasm, so when it does happen, I'm pleasantly surprised. X"

Just a question;

Do you tell your prospective partners that you rarely orgasm? If so, does that affect how the meet is approached?

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

But seriously, I suspect many men view the sex act as they'd see in on porn sites.

It's an entirely unrealist view of the actual act. As someone else said, porn is also very male centered and often gives the impression the best way to "make" me orgasm is hammering it in me.

I suspect this perception is more prevalent in younger, or less experienced men.

I've also seen younger women think they have to do everything that porn stars do to "please" their man.

Sex education needs to be improved IMHO and porn has a lot to answer for.

E

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn? "

I have a particular hatred of using the word "naughty" when talking about sex. It smacks of immaturity and repression

Filthy is another one but that's more of a skin crawling feeling and makes me think the person is sleazy and out for themselves.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem?

Yes, but the only answer is a) him dealing with his shit (not in my power) or b) me getting the heck out of there.

B was my answer, but these things are never immediate."

I do think that a certain amount of that reaction is assumptive, you’re assuming that he won’t or can’t deal, so make the choice for him?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn? "

It's a lot to unpick. Everyone is scared of "failure" and not being enough. For men that's usually pressure to perform, for women it's being treated like we're frigid, boring or somehow sexually dysfunctional if we're not orgasming left right and centre. Being easily and multiple orgasmic is talked about as some sort of badge of honor. Us women are usually more sexually complicated but we're socialised not to expect effort from others so can feel like a burden to ask for what we need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question! "

No

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don't believe this, I can say with my hand on heart there has never been any faking orgasms. Maybe too many guys rush to get themselves off and fail to put the effort in "

How do you know that they’ve never faked orgasms?

I’m just asking because every guy is claiming that it’s not them but the women are painting a different picture

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Not my experience at all.

Guys always want to give me an orgasm even though I warn them that it takes me very long to recover and it's basically the end of play.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"I don't believe this, I can say with my hand on heart there has never been any faking orgasms. Maybe too many guys rush to get themselves off and fail to put the effort in

How do you know that they’ve never faked orgasms?

I’m just asking because every guy is claiming that it’s not them but the women are painting a different picture"

Make intuition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems logical but it doesn’t bother me simply because I don’t always “orgasm” but the key IMO is communication

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn?

I have a particular hatred of using the word "naughty" when talking about sex. It smacks of immaturity and repression

Filthy is another one but that's more of a skin crawling feeling and makes me think the person is sleazy and out for themselves.

"

That’s a fair assessment. What words do you use instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn? "

This man knows /\

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But seriously, I suspect many men view the sex act as they'd see in on porn sites.

It's an entirely unrealist view of the actual act. As someone else said, porn is also very male centered and often gives the impression the best way to "make" me orgasm is hammering it in me.

I suspect this perception is more prevalent in younger, or less experienced men.

I've also seen younger women think they have to do everything that porn stars do to "please" their man.

Sex education needs to be improved IMHO and porn has a lot to answer for.

E"

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe that. Hetero sex education is so much about preventing pregnancy and disease and people are "educated" through porn - which is unrealistic and male-centric.

Women are socialised to be accommodating and to put others first and outside of sex-positive circles, female pleasure is not important.

Reading back through responses and this stood out.

I’m interested to know if people agree with this?

I do

I do too.

We’re such a sexually repressed culture that even in sex positive spaces like this, it’s still referred to as ‘naughty, dirty, filthy, etc’ and we talk in euphemisms about sex.

There is no learning curve allowed nor lessons, save rumours, until we find our first communicative partners, even then it’s assumed that ‘this worked for her, so it will work for you’.

I wonder if we’re failing each other by not being open to learning, by the need to ‘be the best’ rather than admit that we need to learn?

It's a lot to unpick. Everyone is scared of "failure" and not being enough. For men that's usually pressure to perform, for women it's being treated like we're frigid, boring or somehow sexually dysfunctional if we're not orgasming left right and centre. Being easily and multiple orgasmic is talked about as some sort of badge of honor. Us women are usually more sexually complicated but we're socialised not to expect effort from others so can feel like a burden to ask for what we need. "

Nicely put

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Has a partner ever faked an orgasm with you OP? Do you put a woman's pleasure first/hold it as being as equally important as your own?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem?

Yes, but the only answer is a) him dealing with his shit (not in my power) or b) me getting the heck out of there.

B was my answer, but these things are never immediate.

I do think that a certain amount of that reaction is assumptive, you’re assuming that he won’t or can’t deal, so make the choice for him? "

Talking about a hypothetical man it might be an assumption.

In the specific in my head, I evaluated it in the context of the rest of the relationship, and had evidence backing up my assessment.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"I don't believe this, I can say with my hand on heart there has never been any faking orgasms. Maybe too many guys rush to get themselves off and fail to put the effort in

How do you know that they’ve never faked orgasms?

I’m just asking because every guy is claiming that it’s not them but the women are painting a different picture"

You can't fake a good orgasm, the body does things they have no control over. I've slept with people that take a lot of time to bring to orgasm but I don't stop until I know they have had them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'various sources'??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle to genuinely believe these stats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I absolutely believe it. I've never had an orgasm with anyone I've met outside of my marriage, and only with two of my previous long term partners.

When I have a meet I assume I won't have an orgasm and just enjoy the experience for what it is. "

There is a lot of pressure on people to achieve climax during sex. If you go into it thinking you won't have an orgasm it is often better than striving for one.

As you can enjoy the full experience of body to body intimacy and physical touch without being so goal orientated.

Obviously if you do cum, then that's the cherry on the top of a lovely pleasurable experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I struggle to genuinely believe these stats. "

I think there's been a lot of misinterpretation as the thread has progressed

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Has a partner ever faked an orgasm with you OP? Do you put a woman's pleasure first/hold it as being as equally important as your own? "

I’m not so naive as to assume that it hasn’t happened with me.

Yes I do

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Yes he does

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem?

Yes, but the only answer is a) him dealing with his shit (not in my power) or b) me getting the heck out of there.

B was my answer, but these things are never immediate.

I do think that a certain amount of that reaction is assumptive, you’re assuming that he won’t or can’t deal, so make the choice for him?

Talking about a hypothetical man it might be an assumption.

In the specific in my head, I evaluated it in the context of the rest of the relationship, and had evidence backing up my assessment."

Ok, sorry for pressing

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Yes he does "

I'm sure your cheque will be in the post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That seems a bit low, even by my standards as someone who doesnt cum easily.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Yes he does

I'm sure your cake will be on the way. "

I do like cake

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

So many replies! I'm feeling lazy.

And I'm not in a solid mood so may have missed points of the OP.

How many women (and men) are open to giving and being given direction? I don't mean schooled on the art of orgasm making, but on an individual level. How many people say/don't mind being told to do this, or so that more if it enhances things for you.

I often see women (yes this time it's specific) say he went down on me for barely anytime, almost as a courtesy. Then say something. Tell the guy what it is you like, where you like a touch, how you like to be touched. Lack of communication is a huge factor in how satisfied or how orgasmic something can be.

If more people were willing to give and take these kinds of directions without feeling like they can't, or a hit to their ability to satisfy then there would be a lot more orgasms going around.

So I'll say it here. If I'm doing something but it's not how you like, or you prefer it another way then speak up. I won't be offended. I won't take it as an insult or feel like I'm less of a man. I take pleasure in giving pleasure.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I absolutely believe it. I've never had an orgasm with anyone I've met outside of my marriage, and only with two of my previous long term partners.

When I have a meet I assume I won't have an orgasm and just enjoy the experience for what it is.

There is a lot of pressure on people to achieve climax during sex. If you go into it thinking you won't have an orgasm it is often better than striving for one.

As you can enjoy the full experience of body to body intimacy and physical touch without being so goal orientated.

Obviously if you do cum, then that's the cherry on the top of a lovely pleasurable experience.

"

This! I have had some incredibly erotic experiences which did not involve orgasms. I have a friend who has such a mental block about it she never orgasms with a partner. I have found that some men, particularly fab meets, view it as a badge of honour to make you cum. It shows off their skills, makes them feel confident etc etc. The problem with that approach is it focusses on a goal, their goal, rather than enjoying the whole experience together for what it is. I have faked orgasms sometimes when in a situation like this. It seemed kinder. I guess it comes down to communication and with a first meet it's rare for me to have that level of understanding of one another. But that's fine with me, because it's not the goal I seek!

Mrs TMN x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm amongst the 62% of women who are likely to have an orgasm.

Which means that I have higher than an 11%% chance

If you don’t orgasm, do you fake it?

Sorry if that’s too personal or blunt as a question!

I have done, yes. Saves the tantrum that I'm not performing up to expectations.

Without ascribing blame, doesn’t that compound the problem?

Yes, but the only answer is a) him dealing with his shit (not in my power) or b) me getting the heck out of there.

B was my answer, but these things are never immediate.

I do think that a certain amount of that reaction is assumptive, you’re assuming that he won’t or can’t deal, so make the choice for him?

Talking about a hypothetical man it might be an assumption.

In the specific in my head, I evaluated it in the context of the rest of the relationship, and had evidence backing up my assessment.

Ok, sorry for pressing "

No worries - it's a reasonable enough question

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By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

I believe the figure, but I don't think it's factually representative of the women on here. However, there are lots of women on here who struggle to orgasm or can't orgasm. Fact. There's so much less research done on a woman's inability to orgasm because unlike men women don't need to have an orgasm in order to have children so it's seen as far less important.

There is such a negative stigma attached to not having an orgasm. It's as if you're something of a lesser being if you don't perform as expected. It's ridiculous.

Sex without reproduction should be purely about pleasure and you don't need to have an orgasm in order to experience pleasure. It's jolly nice if it happens though.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"So many replies! I'm feeling lazy.

And I'm not in a solid mood so may have missed points of the OP.

How many women (and men) are open to giving and being given direction? I don't mean schooled on the art of orgasm making, but on an individual level. How many people say/don't mind being told to do this, or so that more if it enhances things for you.

I often see women (yes this time it's specific) say he went down on me for barely anytime, almost as a courtesy. Then say something. Tell the guy what it is you like, where you like a touch, how you like to be touched. Lack of communication is a huge factor in how satisfied or how orgasmic something can be.

If more people were willing to give and take these kinds of directions without feeling like they can't, or a hit to their ability to satisfy then there would be a lot more orgasms going around.

So I'll say it here. If I'm doing something but it's not how you like, or you prefer it another way then speak up. I won't be offended. I won't take it as an insult or feel like I'm less of a man. I take pleasure in giving pleasure."

I think it's a confidence thing sometimes - to be able to ask for what you want. It's also about the relationship you have with the other person.

I generally ask men what they like, how something is for them. I was once giving a blowjob, asked him how it was, and he said "fine" It cracked me up!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So many replies! I'm feeling lazy.

And I'm not in a solid mood so may have missed points of the OP.

How many women (and men) are open to giving and being given direction? I don't mean schooled on the art of orgasm making, but on an individual level. How many people say/don't mind being told to do this, or so that more if it enhances things for you.

I often see women (yes this time it's specific) say he went down on me for barely anytime, almost as a courtesy. Then say something. Tell the guy what it is you like, where you like a touch, how you like to be touched. Lack of communication is a huge factor in how satisfied or how orgasmic something can be.

If more people were willing to give and take these kinds of directions without feeling like they can't, or a hit to their ability to satisfy then there would be a lot more orgasms going around.

So I'll say it here. If I'm doing something but it's not how you like, or you prefer it another way then speak up. I won't be offended. I won't take it as an insult or feel like I'm less of a man. I take pleasure in giving pleasure."

Like I said in an earlier reply, sometimes that just doesn't work. Eventually you get to a point of realising that no amount of talking about it is going to help things. It's either accept things as they are or stop having sex with that person (which isn't so easy when you're in a relationship with them and there's genuine love involved).

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Yes he does

I'm sure your cake will be on the way.

I do like cake "

I’ve got some cabbage…

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

61% of all statistics are made up !!

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I believe the figure, but I don't think it's factually representative of the women on here. However, there are lots of women on here who struggle to orgasm or can't orgasm. Fact. There's so much less research done on a woman's inability to orgasm because unlike men women don't need to have an orgasm in order to have children so it's seen as far less important.

There is such a negative stigma attached to not having an orgasm. It's as if you're something of a lesser being if you don't perform as expected. It's ridiculous.

Sex without reproduction should be purely about pleasure and you don't need to have an orgasm in order to experience pleasure. It's jolly nice if it happens though. "

Perhaps part of that is the understanding of sex from a woman’s view? Guys understand sex as a man, not as a woman so possibly see the orgasm as the pleasure point without understanding how the whole process feels or the pleasure that’s inherently involved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a woman enjoys sex she is a slutty slut.

If a woman doesn't enjoy sex she is frigid.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So many replies! I'm feeling lazy.

And I'm not in a solid mood so may have missed points of the OP.

How many women (and men) are open to giving and being given direction? I don't mean schooled on the art of orgasm making, but on an individual level. How many people say/don't mind being told to do this, or so that more if it enhances things for you.

I often see women (yes this time it's specific) say he went down on me for barely anytime, almost as a courtesy. Then say something. Tell the guy what it is you like, where you like a touch, how you like to be touched. Lack of communication is a huge factor in how satisfied or how orgasmic something can be.

If more people were willing to give and take these kinds of directions without feeling like they can't, or a hit to their ability to satisfy then there would be a lot more orgasms going around.

So I'll say it here. If I'm doing something but it's not how you like, or you prefer it another way then speak up. I won't be offended. I won't take it as an insult or feel like I'm less of a man. I take pleasure in giving pleasure.

Like I said in an earlier reply, sometimes that just doesn't work. Eventually you get to a point of realising that no amount of talking about it is going to help things. It's either accept things as they are or stop having sex with that person (which isn't so easy when you're in a relationship with them and there's genuine love involved). "

Very true, I'm not saying it suddenly fixes everything and people struggling will be having an orgasm just from the sheer thought of the other person. But it most certainly would go a hell of a long way to them happening more often for a large amount of women (and men). Maybe not for "you" and "him" but maybe for that other couple it will.

My point mostly being its a start that lots of people avoid, when it is something we should be open about.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Despite women's bodies being sexualised from a young age, they are largely sexualised for the pleasure of men. This means that shapes and sizes outside of the favoured beauty standards are less desirable and wen may not feel confident because of it.

Likewise we are shamed for our bodies and have umpteen products marketed at us to profit from our insecurities - vaginal deodorant, pant liners and vaginal douches etc. The language and tone used to describe women's natural bodily functions are all negative and feed those insecurities.

So it usually takes women time and experience for them to understand and love their bodies in order to fully relax with someone and get the best out of them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I haven't read all the replies because I c.b.a right now.

1. I guarantee you that if I had a meet with someone new now - I wouldn't orgasm.

2. I have most of my best O's on my own.

3. My current partner now knows what makes me reach O and sometimes I wish he'd stop it ..... it's not always necessary.

4. Most men , that don't know you , think that if they rub your clit 'hard' or 'round and round' or just 'fucking fast' .... that a woman will orgasm. She won't.

5. Some men rub the vulva.... what THE FUCK is that all about ?

6. Most men notice that you haven't orgasmed and so fuck you HAAAAAAAAARDERRRRRRRRRRRR ..... nope it doesn't work ..... .

7. Many many many many men don't read the signs emitted by women during sex.

8. Many women will say they've orgasmed when they haven't.

9. Many women don't know they haven't orgasmed.

10. Every woman will fake an orgasm if the bloke is doing his utmost but is utterly fucking crap at reading the signs. (with men they don't know tbf )

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Despite women's bodies being sexualised from a young age, they are largely sexualised for the pleasure of men. This means that shapes and sizes outside of the favoured beauty standards are less desirable and wen may not feel confident because of it.

Likewise we are shamed for our bodies and have umpteen products marketed at us to profit from our insecurities - vaginal deodorant, pant liners and vaginal douches etc. The language and tone used to describe women's natural bodily functions are all negative and feed those insecurities.

So it usually takes women time and experience for them to understand and love their bodies in order to fully relax with someone and get the best out of them. "

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I haven't read all the replies because I c.b.a right now.

1. I guarantee you that if I had a meet with someone new now - I wouldn't orgasm.

2. I have most of my best O's on my own.

3. My current partner now knows what makes me reach O and sometimes I wish he'd stop it ..... it's not always necessary.

4. Most men , that don't know you , think that if they rub your clit 'hard' or 'round and round' or just 'fucking fast' .... that a woman will orgasm. She won't.

5. Some men rub the vulva.... what THE FUCK is that all about ?

6. Most men notice that you haven't orgasmed and so fuck you HAAAAAAAAARDERRRRRRRRRRRR ..... nope it doesn't work ..... .

7. Many many many many men don't read the signs emitted by women during sex.

8. Many women will say they've orgasmed when they haven't.

9. Many women don't know they haven't orgasmed.

10. Every woman will fake an orgasm if the bloke is doing his utmost but is utterly fucking crap at reading the signs. (with men they don't know tbf ) "

Straight to the point Granny, as per

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"I haven't read all the replies because I c.b.a right now.

1. I guarantee you that if I had a meet with someone new now - I wouldn't orgasm.

2. I have most of my best O's on my own.

3. My current partner now knows what makes me reach O and sometimes I wish he'd stop it ..... it's not always necessary.

4. Most men , that don't know you , think that if they rub your clit 'hard' or 'round and round' or just 'fucking fast' .... that a woman will orgasm. She won't.

5. Some men rub the vulva.... what THE FUCK is that all about ?

6. Most men notice that you haven't orgasmed and so fuck you HAAAAAAAAARDERRRRRRRRRRRR ..... nope it doesn't work ..... .

7. Many many many many men don't read the signs emitted by women during sex.

8. Many women will say they've orgasmed when they haven't.

9. Many women don't know they haven't orgasmed.

10. Every woman will fake an orgasm if the bloke is doing his utmost but is utterly fucking crap at reading the signs. (with men they don't know tbf ) "

But the above is only relevant to you (and others, but you and I don't know who). Points 4,5 and 6 may not work for you, but I've been told to do them (and have done).

Bottom line from yours and everyone else's posts: communication.

Which only works if someone is willing to say what they want, and someone else is willing to listen and act on that.

Even then it may take more than one try at it to get everything "in place".

So, communication and practice!

;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make sure I cum every time I have sex. Sometimes the guy has beaten me to it with a first fuck but after he’s had an hour I’ve had my turn then.

I’m lucky that I cum quite quickly IF I’m comfy in missionary, guys full body weight on me and I can reach down and rub my bean myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

11% experiencing no orgasm at all ? 11% chance of an orgasm.

I suspect that whilst the premise of the thread might be on the right track i.e a low instance of hetro penetrative orgasm… the numbers quoted (especially with no references) might not be hotting that g spot!

After a bit of googling….

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232318

To save scrolling theough the lengthy article here’s the juicy bit….

“ A comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over 80 years found that during vaginal intercourse just 25 percent of women consistently experience an orgasm, about half of women sometimes have an orgasm, 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms, and about 5 percent never have orgasms.”

Whether this averages out to 11% or whatever i’ve no idea.

Which begs the question why the hell bother?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"11% experiencing no orgasm at all ? 11% chance of an orgasm.

I suspect that whilst the premise of the thread might be on the right track i.e a low instance of hetro penetrative orgasm… the numbers quoted (especially with no references) might not be hotting that g spot!

After a bit of googling….

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232318

To save scrolling theough the lengthy article here’s the juicy bit….

“ A comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over 80 years found that during vaginal intercourse just 25 percent of women consistently experience an orgasm, about half of women sometimes have an orgasm, 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms, and about 5 percent never have orgasms.”

Whether this averages out to 11% or whatever i’ve no idea.

Which begs the question why the hell bother?

"

I could be wrong but I think the figure might have come feom a study of American college students - "Women reported orgasms in 11 percent of first hookups, 16 percent of second or third hookups, 34 percent of higher-order hookups, and 67 percent of relationship sexual events."

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"11% experiencing no orgasm at all ? 11% chance of an orgasm.

I suspect that whilst the premise of the thread might be on the right track i.e a low instance of hetro penetrative orgasm… the numbers quoted (especially with no references) might not be hotting that g spot!

After a bit of googling….

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232318

To save scrolling theough the lengthy article here’s the juicy bit….

“ A comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over 80 years found that during vaginal intercourse just 25 percent of women consistently experience an orgasm, about half of women sometimes have an orgasm, 20 percent seldom or ever have orgasms, and about 5 percent never have orgasms.”

Whether this averages out to 11% or whatever i’ve no idea.

Which begs the question why the hell bother?

"

That wasn’t the research that I saw which was a study from 2009, but it seems relatively consistent in terms of the low numbers.

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By *orace pinkerMan
over a year ago

North west


"According to various sources, a woman has only an 11% chance of orgasm with a heterosexual partner. Obviously in these circles that is likely to be skewed for various reasons but it’s an interesting thought.

Ladies; do you believe this is the case? If you’re meeting someone, how likely are you to orgasm? Would it bother you if you didn’t orgasm?

Guys; what does this statistic make you think or feel? Has a partner ever faked an orgasm with you or you know that she hasn’t orgasmed?

Thoughts folks…"

Since when have us men bothered about women's orgasms

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South


"If a woman enjoys sex she is a slutty slut.

If a woman doesn't enjoy sex she is frigid. "

This. ^

Another thread a few days ago, a lovely lady said she'd enjoyed a gang bang with 12 guys.

First quote+reply from a "gentleman" - That's disgusting.

I'm willing to bet if he'd claimed to have shagged 12 women he'd be called a stud.

E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I could be wrong but I think the figure might have come feom a study of American college students - "Women reported orgasms in 11 percent of first hookups, 16 percent of second or third hookups, 34 percent of higher-order hookups, and 67 percent of relationship sexual events." "

College students? Hmmm…. I wonder how much of a factor alcohol might be to ‘performance’ or memory of the encounter

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