FabSwingers.com forum: The rudest women ever !!!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

While out with my disabled daughter Josie we encountered the rudest woman ever, we were walking through a crowd of people at bus stop and they all moved so we could get through apart from one. Josie thought that she wanted to say hello so put her hand out to touch her, with this the woman turned on Josie and said " Get yr hands of me you retard, there are places that you should be kept in" Instead of decking her which i really wanted too, i calmly said to her " got a day pass have you" and walked away hearing the sniggers behind me i smiled and gave Jo a huge hug...... This woman was in her 40's at a guess Scruffy and smelly and who would want to touch her anyway !!!!

I always try to help those that need help.

Now if you saw or heard something happening in the street would you do something or say something to protect the person involved.......

(Perky)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok this may sound crazy but she might have a mental issue? Its a terrible thing to have to hear being said about your daughter and i thought you showed incredible restraint (more than i would have)..but there might be more to it.

Or she might be as you say...just an incredibly rude bitch who deserves a shoeing

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

That is shocking! You did well to keep so composed and I hope Josie is ok after that encounter.

I generally help if I can and I would hope someone would help me if I needed it. That said, when I have fallen in the street most walk on by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u done well, I have a disabled niece myself, and i wouldnt jepeordize her safety by getting angry with someone, the woman in question could have been pretty unbalanced herself and not cared about hitting u.But if u happen to come across her on ur own...kick her in the snatch...ignorant twat she is.

*not promoting any violence here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is stomach turning just who the hell does she think she is. That's thoroughly disgusting love your remark and to answer your question yes I would stand up for someone in that position what goes around comes around all dogs have their day hope this hasn't spoiled your daughters day out xxxx

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

One of those jaw breaking moments

Admire your restraint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OH by the way just looked at your profile and noticed that you went to Southampton today.

Does not surprise me they are all rude bastards there. She sounds like a local

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such ignorance makes me rage! I would have sooo wanted to hurt her. Well done for showing restraint and dignity. My cousin was born premature and was severely disabled for 8 years before she gave up the fight, but she bought so much joy to our lives like any child disabled or not, would. I have no time for people like this and am equally angered by so called 'jokes' about disabled people. Idiots!

Well done pork x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Such ignorance makes me rage! I would have sooo wanted to hurt her. Well done for showing restraint and dignity. My cousin was born premature and was severely disabled for 8 years before she gave up the fight, but she bought so much joy to our lives like any child disabled or not, would. I have no time for people like this and am equally angered by so called 'jokes' about disabled people. Idiots!

Well done pork x "

I mean Porky

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Sorry to hear about your ordeal.

I've had a few rants in my time with ignorant people, I've come across them myself as I use a walking stick and on my bad days i have to use my wheelchair.....makes my blood boil and I cant keep my big gob shut, even if its sticking up for others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't have showed that much restraint,big hug to you for doing the right thing and give josie a hug for a)being so polite in the first place

And b) putting up with someone like that

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By *ooking to lickCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

This is the most shocking thing I have read. I have been a manager of a care home for adults with learning disabilities for years and never have I encountered someone so rude in the community.

I would have slapped her. Job or no job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Top marks for staying calm.

I spend many hours with people who enjoy downs syndrome. They are amazing.

Had a similar incident, but David replied. "Your not a nice lady" the whole queue cheered.

(I say enjoy downs as opposed to suffering because they get a real genuine buzz out of life. I've never met one who didn't make me smile and laugh)

They are amazing people.

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

The paralympics will help to change attitudes

It is not perfect but I am proud that the movement started here and for the most part we are a caring society

of course the woman is a disgrace but it seems you coped well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not be responsible for the tirade that followed.

Indeed, I dare say I would end up being sectioned.

A 'Bussy Flip' is not a pretty site and that comment would have induced one.

Don't let it pray on your mind.

There are more good people out there than bad.

At the end of the day your little 'un loves and is loved.

That alone wipes out any random negativity out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She was clearly a sandwich short of a picnic. Sounds like she had a mental issue. You can get them

I once had a woman i'd never met come up to me in the street and call me a 'tight arse' for no reason. She was clearly nuts...either that or a very talented psychic

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

It's often not ignorance at all....

There are many thousands of people out in our community with severe mental health issues themselves, they are out in the community because so many of our mental health institutions have been closed down and sold off for private housing etc.

As terrible as your experience may have been, it is worth considering that the guilty party may well have had mental health issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of those jaw breaking moments

Admire your restraint"

Yep!!

Well done!

I normally find verbal responses work well in this situation!

One that I may have used in this scenario would be 'You do know this is the wrong bus stop for the service to 'I'm an ignorant bitch'?'

Or simply! 'I'm sorry my daughter has more social skills than you - it must be hard being so fucking rude all the time! Take a break one day - you might enjoy it!!'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you could be right about the mental issues, lucky for her that Josie has no understanding of the world and of very little that is said to her. I used to get upset when people say nasty things but i know i just laugh in their faces because it is their social awareness of the world that is wrong, and often i will say "Go home and look in the mirror and then tell me if you are perfect in every way"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Top marks for staying calm.

I spend many hours with people who enjoy downs syndrome. They are amazing.

Had a similar incident, but David replied. "Your not a nice lady" the whole queue cheered.

(I say enjoy downs as opposed to suffering because they get a real genuine buzz out of life. I've never met one who didn't make me smile and laugh)

They are amazing people. "

Yes they truly are adorable...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Well done pork x "

Even if those jokes are made by disabled people? Some of the most un-pc people I know are disabled people!!

My sister was in a wheelchair for 18 months when we were kids and people used to stare at her so my dad told her to stick her tongue out at them, they soon looked away. One woman came over and asked if she wanted a sweet so he told her 'its her legs that don't work not her brain, ask her yourself!'

You won't change a persons attitude by confronting them in the street or lashing out at them, all you can do is teach your daughter how to deal with negativity when it comes her way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best thing about the whole situation was you used humour to defuse the situation and her ignorance made her look like the twat she is.

The fact everyone who was there now knows what an idiot she is and will probably point her out to their friends as the woman 'with a day pass' as they re-tell the story

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OH by the way just looked at your profile and noticed that you went to Southampton today.

Does not surprise me they are all rude bastards there. She sounds like a local"

That's Pork that went to Southhamton, this happened in Essex (Perky)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people have bad days and sometimes got things on their minds and say something at the time they dont mean.

we all do it dont we.

when i use to live in glasgow i use to get spat at and called alsorts because i use to take a short cut passed celtic park towards home.

you just got to ignore it or smile. dont let it worry you.

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

a swift kick in the c--t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OH by the way just looked at your profile and noticed that you went to Southampton today.

Does not surprise me they are all rude bastards there. She sounds like a local

That's Pork that went to Southhamton, this happened in Essex (Perky)

I see..maybe it was a southampton local on a day out in essex or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of those jaw breaking moments

Admire your restraint"

My mother had bi polar and was often hurling abuse and nasty comments ... i spend so much time apologizing for her words and actions. At times she was also taunted off others for her state of mind and how she appeared. Unfortunately she used to go on "walkabout" and got into all kinds of trouble when alone.

Inner strength helps get through these awful situations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Top marks for staying calm.

I spend many hours with people who enjoy downs syndrome. They are amazing.

Had a similar incident, but David replied. "Your not a nice lady" the whole queue cheered.

(I say enjoy downs as opposed to suffering because they get a real genuine buzz out of life. I've never met one who didn't make me smile and laugh)

They are amazing people. "

(Pork)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it shows an inner strength not to lower your own standards to meet theirs. so well done to you.

sadly the world is full of intolerant people but ignoring them is often the best thing as they sometimes do it to sparka reaction.

i am sure Josie gets a lot of love from you and family and friends so dont it it get you down.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone, on Perkys behalf, for all your supportive and encouraging responses - she is somewhat overwhelmed by them all

But then I told her for long enough that the Swinging World is inhabited by some of the nicest, decent people I have ever met.

Now she understands that too...

Thanks once again. And Josie is fine, despite her meeting with tomorrows star guest on Jeremy Kyle......

Pork xx

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not going down the woman had mental health issues route to be honest....basically, I've found more people I've cared for in the last 10years , who have mental health problems better than those without.Rarely ever had I been verbally abused by clients(in various states of mental wellbeing)..regarding my colour.So i would rather take the stance that this woman in the street was in fact...just a total cunt.These people exist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may encounter some more shortly.

When I had the audacity to state I was a parent in the forum a few weeks ago, I got a shed load of abuse from a couple of individuals.

Anyway - agree with the rest , very well restrained indeed x

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'm not going down the woman had mental health issues route to be honest....basically, I've found more people I've cared for in the last 10years , who have mental health problems better than those without.Rarely ever had I been verbally abused by clients(in various states of mental wellbeing)..regarding my colour.So i would rather take the stance that this woman in the street was in fact...just a total cunt.These people exist!"
Yes, they do, I agree with you - however, I would like to say that in my definition of MH issue I include not just the severe end of the spectrum of diagnosis. And from that stance... I can see that the behaviour experienced here....MAY be due to serious issues, prejudice and an inability to see the world in anything but black and white. Hope I make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give Josie lots of fab hugs from us swingers.

My sister and neice are both disabled, not physically though. I have taken taunts and hidings since we were kids because my sister never missed a chance to verbally abuse her attackers. She used to laugh her socks off that they saved the physical abuse for me (they wouldn't hit a 'daft' lass) and she'd say, who's the daft one? I give them shit and you get the hidings!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yesterday, there was a guy stood at the level crossing as i was approaching, he had two sticks and looked wobbly, i knew he was going to ask me somethingg. So i had his shopping bag and he linked arms with me to go across. He said they made him uneasy and the traffic wizzing by. I didnt see anyone behind me so he could of been there awhile. One minute out of my time thats all it took.

We have a downs syndrome lad here hes about 17 and lovely his friends are just normal everyday lads, i wasnt there but someone tried to pick on him one day and they soon went crying of with shame. I think it shows what great control you have and remember people like her are far between thankfully

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint."

But thats equivalent to saying people can only be nasty if they have mental health problems, sounds to me this woman was just vile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had similar with people especially on the local buses as my wife stays with my son and his wheelchair towards the front and i have the other kids usually towards the back and he gets very excited when other buses/cars go past so much that he screams out very loudly but recently some right misery old bugger got on the bus sat opposite the wife and then started on her for not being able to control our son.

After about 10 seconds or so i got up walked down the bus stood in front of him and said is there a problem ? He replied with "these unmarried mothers with kids who dont know how to keep them in check should be steralised before they fill the world up".

Now usually before he finished i would have punched his lights out but being an older guy i thought i would tell him exactly what i thought of him and his views.

The bus driver pulled over heard what i said to him without actually threatening his life in public he became very quiet and sat back in his seat then the bus driver asked him to leave the bus gave him his money back and told him to catch another behind as he didnt want him there causing problems for regular passengers including my son who he has a soft spot for lol

So yes there are people around who will when cornered stand up for the less able bodies among us

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

But thats equivalent to saying people can only be nasty if they have mental health problems, sounds to me this woman was just vile"
No, it is not what I meant. I was trying to say some rude behaviour, perceived or otherwise, may be down to MH and some may be down to plain ignorance, lack of social skills and empathy - having said that, the latter two could also be indicators of MH issues. Its a bit of a grey area, I think.

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

My other half has a sister who is disabled ( not physical ) , they were in a busy bar and a man made a move on her he was asked not to and the reason was explained , he was asked once then told 3 more times at which point he tried a different approach and to coin a phraser he put him on his arse , to which doorstaff turn up grabbed the guy he'd hit and threw him out .

They picked up and dusted down my OH then gave my him and his sis a drink and explained the bar staff had seen it .

The best barstaff to doorstaff comunication I've seen in years .

Well done NG1 nottingham

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

But thats equivalent to saying people can only be nasty if they have mental health problems, sounds to me this woman was just vileNo, it is not what I meant. I was trying to say some rude behaviour, perceived or otherwise, may be down to MH and some may be down to plain ignorance, lack of social skills and empathy - having said that, the latter two could also be indicators of MH issues. Its a bit of a grey area, I think."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my dads disabled, and when out with him im always amazed by peoples attitudes, from rudeness to plain ignorance. but the worst is that because hes in a chair people assume his brain doesnt work aswell, infact hes one of the smartest men i know, i remember beeing in a car dealership helping him choose a new car, now remember this is for him not me and the salesman ignored him totaly and kept directing his answers at me even if asked by dad, in the end he asked me a question about something and i just said, why dont you ask the person whos going to be paying for it, he looked at me blankly.

so guess what we left and got a car somewhere else....

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

She could have mental health issues but there is 3 in 4 chance that she doesnt. There used to be so much stigma attatched to metal health people assuming they where violent ect, in fact most people i know with mental health problems are not nasty or violent. Its taken years to get rid of that stigma"
Again, it is not what I meant to say - Yes, there is a 75% chance that the person is not suffering from MH issues. And yes, there (still) is a lot of stigma attached to MH issues, their signs and symptoms and it is one matter that is very close to my heart so I am with you on that front. I am also aware that neither of us were there to witness the incident. I do feel though that a distinct lack of empathy for a fellow human being and the subsequent aggressive behaviour MAY be a sign of underlying MH issue. Then again, it may not. Either is possible - would you agree?

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

I would say the spiteful mistake of a woman was just that some people are just vile and think we still live in the dark ages. I would say something if I saw someone in your situation as I don't think its right for people to be so horrible especially to a child. Ill be honest tho if it was my daughter I'd have pushed said woman under the next bus

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

She could have mental health issues but there is 3 in 4 chance that she doesnt. There used to be so much stigma attatched to metal health people assuming they where violent ect, in fact most people i know with mental health problems are not nasty or violent. Its taken years to get rid of that stigmaAgain, it is not what I meant to say - Yes, there is a 75% chance that the person is not suffering from MH issues. And yes, there (still) is a lot of stigma attached to MH issues, their signs and symptoms and it is one matter that is very close to my heart so I am with you on that front. I am also aware that neither of us were there to witness the incident. I do feel though that a distinct lack of empathy for a fellow human being and the subsequent aggressive behaviour MAY be a sign of underlying MH issue. Then again, it may not. Either is possible - would you agree? "

Yes i would agree that there is a chance but a larger chance that she isnt suffering MH, i spent half my younger life being asked if i was violent as people automatically linked mental health and violence, thankfully we have come along way and its years since ive been asked the question. You often see headlines in newspapers saying "sctzephrenic murders someone" but they dont ever say that the majority of perpetraters have no sign of mental illness. Its a bug bear of mine having to spend most of my life trying to change peoples attitudes

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"It does sound like the woman has a mental health issue - far more common that we think with more than 1 on 4 adults experiencing MH problems.

I feel for you and admire your courage and restraint.

She could have mental health issues but there is 3 in 4 chance that she doesnt. There used to be so much stigma attatched to metal health people assuming they where violent ect, in fact most people i know with mental health problems are not nasty or violent. Its taken years to get rid of that stigmaAgain, it is not what I meant to say - Yes, there is a 75% chance that the person is not suffering from MH issues. And yes, there (still) is a lot of stigma attached to MH issues, their signs and symptoms and it is one matter that is very close to my heart so I am with you on that front. I am also aware that neither of us were there to witness the incident. I do feel though that a distinct lack of empathy for a fellow human being and the subsequent aggressive behaviour MAY be a sign of underlying MH issue. Then again, it may not. Either is possible - would you agree?

I can see where you are coming from.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"my dads disabled, and when out with him im always amazed by peoples attitudes, from rudeness to plain ignorance. but the worst is that because hes in a chair people assume his brain doesnt work aswell, infact hes one of the smartest men i know, i remember beeing in a car dealership helping him choose a new car, now remember this is for him not me and the salesman ignored him totaly and kept directing his answers at me even if asked by dad, in the end he asked me a question about something and i just said, why dont you ask the person whos going to be paying for it, he looked at me blankly.

so guess what we left and got a car somewhere else...."

Good for you. I'd have got on to their Sales Director and got him fired too. Teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget in a hurry. And, no, I wouldn't worry if he had kids and a mortgage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so guess what we left and got a car somewhere else....

Good for you. I'd have got on to their Sales Director and got him fired too. Teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget in a hurry. And, no, I wouldn't worry if he had kids and a mortgage.

it was enough to see the look on his face as he realised there was a big fat comision walking out the door

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so guess what we left and got a car somewhere else....

Good for you. I'd have got on to their Sales Director and got him fired too. Teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget in a hurry. And, no, I wouldn't worry if he had kids and a mortgage.

it was enough to see the look on his face as he realised there was a big fat comision walking out the door

I used to work in Sales, and that wouldn't have been anywhere near enough for me, but I hope your Dad got treated properly at the dealer you eventually bought from....?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give Josie lots of fab hugs from us swingers.

Josie is non-verbal and i think always will be, so she relies on the people around her to do the talking for her, and because she has low muscle tone it's awkward for her to sign. Ever since she was diagnosed at the age of 2 1/2 i have got myself into all sorts of situations. It used to embarrass her sister when people stared and pointed, now she just tells them to get a life lol. There is more awareness out there today but some people just choose to stay ignorant!!

Pork has said i need to learn some great one liners to put this people down in an instant........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your reaction was just fine. You didn't make a scene, you kept your dignity, made your comment and left the woman looking like the idiot she clearly is. Job done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I could possibly say has been said.

Other than, don't let one twit ruin your day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read the thread and considered all the comments... I want to say that sometimes you just don't know about other people. The lady could have had mental health issues, she could have been a total bitch, a close relative may have died the day before and she was just lashing out without thinking, you just don't know.

Similar with a person in a wheelchair or a person that has a mental disability but nothing that would physically show it. You just don't know, and often you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Perhaps you talk to the person in the wheelchair and the carer with them shouts at you for speaking to them, saying they don't understand you as they are also mentally disabled.

You try to help a blind person across the road and they get cross and say how rude you are as they are perfectly capable of managing by themselves. The man shaking on the floor and people pass him by thinking he's d*unk when he's actually having an epileptic fit.

I am not trying to be rude by posting this, I'm just trying to point out that there can be many different reasons for anything you may see or hear. Hope that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read the thread and considered all the comments... I want to say that sometimes you just don't know about other people. The lady could have had mental health issues, she could have been a total bitch, a close relative may have died the day before and she was just lashing out without thinking, you just don't know.

Perhaps you talk to the person in the wheelchair and the carer with them shouts at you for speaking to them, saying they don't understand you as they are also mentally disabled.

I am not trying to be rude by posting this, I'm just trying to point out that there can be many different reasons for anything you may see or hear. Hope that makes sense. "

Normally when i take Josie out she is in her wheelchair but this time i thought that she could the short distance that i wanted to do. Because i am 51 and she is 13 and stronger than most men on here because of her Autism. When she goes into melt down and she dosn't have her wheelchair (this when she has a lot of people around her) She will drop to the floor and try to hide her self, i can-not pick her up my self and have to rely on someone stronger....

When Josie is in her wheelchair then all happens even traffic stops....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many many many times I have got into bother by defending people in the street,

some guy was raising his voice to woman and pushing her about a bit once in the street, though I ended up with a fat lip lol

Another time some young lads was taking the piss out of a disabled lad on the bus, which I don't think is fair at all! They all ended up getting kicked off, and then I hjad a go at the people sitting there keeping quite.

It happen far to often, and no one does a thing about it

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