FabSwingers.com forum: Making it hard for yourself

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’ve often seen it written on here that this is *meant* to be fun, yet it’s so often not.

What one piece of advice would you give another person to stop them making fab so hard for themselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Type "I UNDERSTAND" in the box.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

For men.

Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.

Don't expect to get sex.

For younger women

Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself

For everyone.

Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it all with a HUGE pinch of salt!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Fab isn't the be all and end all of life.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem

I need you as my life coach

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

When the fun stops stop.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Sort your profile and pics out at the start before sending out scattergun messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of this is real until it is. Don't get hung up on online chat. If the chat gets you to a meet, great, but don't invest yourself in online only stuff, and keep your red flag radar tuned at a higher intensity than your horn.

I've seen enough people with statuses saying "avoid XXXX, ripped me off".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Don't listen to rumours/gossip.

Make your own mind up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem

That's fantastic

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By *harlotteBigBoobsWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Have a very thick skin and don't think everyone has same Morels as yourself. Enjoy it don't take it too seriously x

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By *ustathingMan
over a year ago

Reading

I very rarely message women or couples these days... I may drop them a wink, but I've found j enjoy this place a lot more just using the forums!

I'm absolutely awful at the whole first message thing, so find the wink works for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use it more to keep in touch with club contacts than as primary method of making contacts and treat anything else as a bonus.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Fab isn't the be all and end all of life."

Exactly this!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Limit your time on here and don't miss out on real life because you're hooked and addicted to fab

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem

I think that I needed to hear that at the start!

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

If you're worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks …I'd say your life's pretty good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is very liberating to delete your account and walk away whenever you want. Multiple times if necessary.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

There are no leagues, just be yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be excellent to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never google terms you read on the forum

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Don't overthink when you don't get a reply or wink back from someone, it's not necessarily about you!

Jo x

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Leave the high school mentality at home, don’t treat it like a competition or a contest of popularity…be you, drama free and have fun x

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.

Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.

What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.

Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.

What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.

Cool.

It’s a thread fella, just answer the question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab isn't the be all and end all of life."

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By *ottoncandy42Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Don’t alway’s seem so desperate. Guys who constantly advertise meets...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you"

never thought of it like that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make your profile like a shop window that catches people’s attention. You want to attract people, the focal point is initially the profile picture so at least make that a decent one.

Another piece of advice is just simply be yourself and have fun being on here. If you are serious about meeting others, go to clubs and socials because that’s where everyone else is that wants to meet and then use this as a tool to keep in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be careful what you writet in your status!

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you"

Very much agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you"

Thank you for this one, I never thought of it like that

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Just learn to accept that no one on here owes you anything, and if fab leaves you feeling angry and bitter , then for your own mental health take a break.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you

Thank you for this one, I never thought of it like that

Nor me.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Chill out. Don't take it so seriously. If something happens great. Also have a life outside fab.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Don't let a person's actions spoil things for you. The place can be a roller coaster but there are some gems out there who'll make it worthwhile on here for you.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Have confidence in your own self worth - I'm still working on that to be fair

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Have confidence in your own self worth - I'm still working on that to be fair

Haha join the club

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.

What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.

Cool.

It’s a thread fella, just answer the question

I would simply say be true to yourself and others. Don't try to be something your not. Be consistent and not change tack depending on which way you think the wind is blowing. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself and ultimately with respect.

Worked for me thankyou

Sanctimony, hypocrisy, conceit and self pity are not good traits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch me, learn, take notes if necessary and ffs don't do any of it

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

READ. PEOPLE'S. PROFILES.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Be hot

Don’t be not hot

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"When the fun stops stop. "

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Have confidence in your own self worth - I'm still working on that to be fair

Haha join the club

We'll get there eventually!! Could work on it together

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Don't write to somebody unless you actually have something to say.

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

It's cut-throat. First of all evaluate whether you can handle that. If not then at least have breaks.

Secondly don't get cowed by the 'politics' in the forums. Try not to bite back.

Unless you see a bully. But then you're already lost. So a bit of a paradox there admittedly.

Thirdly don't assume someone sincerely likes you(as a person /physically) until you meet them. If they cut you off beforehand with no reasonble explanation then conclude that the issue is probably them.no. It is.

Fourthly enjoy, and try to keep in mind that you should have no expectations. Always. Especially if you're a bloke.

Lastly appreciate that there are genuinely normal, nice people on here. The bad/mad ones tend to make themselves known. You just have to sift. Then re-sift.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't bother. I can not even put myself on the same wavelength as someone who doesn't just see this as a fun thing to do. I'd have no advice to someone like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be truthful in your profile if you bi and look for a tv/ts have it on your profile you have so much more fun

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By *ustathingMan
over a year ago

Reading

"It's cut-throat. First of all evaluate whether you can handle that. If not then at least have breaks.

Secondly don't get cowed by the 'politics' in the forums. Try not to bite back.

Unless you see a bully. But then you're already lost. So a bit of a paradox there admittedly.

Fourthly enjoy, and try to keep in mind that you should have no expectations. Always. Especially if you're a bloke.

Lastly appreciate that there are genuinely normal, nice people on here. The bad/mad ones tend to make themselves known. You just have to sift. Then re-sift.

Is it weird I read that in the style of Baz Luhrman, sunscreen?

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.

What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.

Cool.

It’s a thread fella, just answer the question

Worked for me thankyou

Sanctimony, hypocrisy, conceit and self pity are not good traits. "

Nicely said

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Watch me, learn, take notes if necessary and ffs don't do any of it

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Never go into sent messages to see if they have been read.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Rejection is not the be all and end all.

It's a part of life in general, don't take it to heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For men.

Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.

Don't expect to get sex.

For younger women

Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself

For everyone.

Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously. "

Perfect advice

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Have confidence in your own self worth - I'm still working on that to be fair

Haha join the club

We'll get there eventually!! Could work on it together

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Don't read posts in the virus or politics forums.It can be toxic.

Recognise that,as in the real world ,you will not be found desirable to many people whom you might like.

Recognise that, as is the real world, people grow on you and you maybe more desirable to them when they get to know you so socialising is important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a wank before you send messages

Your messages will be 100% longer and with more detail. Plus we may even read more profiles.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Lower your expectations

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"When the fun stops stop. "

Just say no

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Believe nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept that mostly you will be simply

“ Making it hard for yourself”

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

"For men.

Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.

Don't expect to get sex.

For younger women

Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself

For everyone.

Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously. "

Is being catfished fun? Is having time wasted fun? Is having the goal posts changed on an arranged meet at the last moment fun?

All of those things happened to us this week. Yeah, caught most of them early on but it's getting to much on here now.

We dont expect much from the site any more but saying grow a thicker skin isnt helping anyone or saving the issues the site is having right now. This isnt the fab we where using 5 years ago is all we are saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't let someone else's preference dictate your self esteem

This is great advice ?? ??

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Know that your self-worth is not defined by other people.

Mrs TMN x

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.

What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.

Fun is what 'You' decide fun is!

When 'your' experience is no longer positive or brings you down then it is no longer fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Type "I UNDERSTAND" in the box."

I did but came back again.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Stay true to yourself......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say no.

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By *ark_KnightsMan
over a year ago

london

To the women - do what’s best for you

To the men - think with the right head

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