FabSwingers.com forum: Deception and lies

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Are you the type to forgive and forget?

Hold a grudge for years and determine to get even no matter how long ago it was?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I rarely look for revenge but I can hold a grudge for decades

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

All depends on severity of wrong doing in question

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone sincerely apologises that's it...I forgive...But I may not forget...Some memories just can't be permanently removed from your brain...I won't hold a grudge though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It depends on the "what" - and it may take me a while to move on as I have a tendency to over analyse/ovethink but generally I'm a forgive and forget type - although if it's serious enough I'll cut the person out of my life - but at the same time life's too short for grudges so I let it go as best I can.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I like to forgive, Grudges and Anger, revenge, are so negative, they only make you worse. Peace

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I forgive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends of what they done but if it's bad enough that we no longer talk then why would I forgive and forget?

I'm not going to forgive someone that clearly has hurt me (and/or my family) they wouldn't deserve it.

Forget - Something's just aren't easy to forget.

If I've cut them off, there's a damn good reason for it and that will stand. I'd have no interest in letting someone like that back in my life. I wouldn't hold a grudge as such, I'd get on with my life and not give them a passing thought.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

London

Oh I won’t forgive and I always get even.....no matter how long.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Depending what the situation is I usually forgive but I never forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Depends on the situation - I may forgive but never forget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Massively depends on the circumstances, who they are to me, lots of things to consider, so I'd say impossible for me to answer.

Jo x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hold grudges. I have forgiven before and it’s not helped matters so now it’s all about the grudges- I don’t get revenge though, although tempting at times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hold onto things or grudges. In the end, you only do more damage to yourself. Forgive, move on but never forget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

It depends on the situation but usually I will forgive someone and not hold a grudge or hold it against them in future but I will never forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does depend on what they have done but life is too short to try and get revenge.

The past is just that, it can't be changed.

I'd rather forget and move on which is what I am doing at the moment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive and give them a couple more chances but if it happens again then it's I forget them being in my life. Byee.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to ruminate and stew over even the smallest annoyance. Have enough of them and the results could get explosive.

Now I'll let things go. I'd probably end up forgetting anyway as I've a rubbish memory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Trust is like virginity, you only lose it once, lies and deceit never get forgotten, and pay back time can wait until it's least expected.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't really do getting even. I do forgive quite often but forgetting is harder depending on the severity of the lie and deception.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't hold onto things or grudges. In the end, you only do more damage to yourself. Forgive, move on but never forget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

When people say they forgive but never forget then surely that isn't forgiveness.

If it's a minor one off then I'll usually forgive. But if it's something that is consistent with that person then I won't forget/forgive. If it's a big issue that they have created as well then I will isolate myself from them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Forgiving shows weakness, I don't do weak.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont forgive or forget but I also dont hold grudges.

Life is too short for all that. I just move on and cut them out of my life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. ... Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If somebody accepts they have done wrong and says sorry I'm very likely to let it go. If somebody is an arsehole but acts all self-righteous then it can upset me for years.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep a book of revenge grudges...

Best served cold!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I might forgive, but I don't forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find out who the ‘I’ is and the realisation that no forgiveness is required as no grudge or offence can be taken.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grudges are dangerous. Starting and perpetuating conflict is easy whether between individuals or states. It takes far greater skill and understanding to iniate peace, then to rebuild trusting and enduring relationships. A few people have said they can forgive but not forget. That is the smart way - use your experiences to protect yourself and educate others to prevent future conflicts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do disappointment.

Disappointment in them and disappointment in myself for not being someone they felt they didn't need to lie to, in myself for giving someone my trust when they clearly had no respect for it.

I may not necessarily forgive them as such, but I'll try to understand them and let it go as far as they go. I tend not to forgive myself tho, which is incredibly damaging and why I get hurt so deeply when I'm wronged.

I will cut people from my life without hesitation if its something major or they won't come clean.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

I forgive and never forget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you the type to forgive and forget?

Hold a grudge for years and determine to get even no matter how long ago it was?"

No to all of the above

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you the type to forgive and forget?

Hold a grudge for years and determine to get even no matter how long ago it was?"

I'm the sort to try and understand why somebody was fucking me about. I generally succeed at that. It doesn't make me a doormat, it makes me an empathic, hopefully decent human being who will never hold a grudge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what's happened. As people have said, if there's a sincere apology and a way of trying to reconcile, then sure.

I'm not one for revenge though. I'll just cut someone out. I'll be civil if they're around but they don't have access to me or my life after that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never forgive always hold a grudge and seek revenge no matter how long

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Some things you can’t forgive or forget

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Will always give a second chance but never a third.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Dont look for revenge but I never forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

I used to hold grudges but not anymore why waste your energy when they probably don’t care at all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I can’t even spell ‘grudge’ never mind hold one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

Chippenham

Life's to short for grudges.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Depends upon what it was: some things I can let go off and laugh about years later. Others wound me too deep to get past.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

So many folk saying they can 'forgive but don't forget!'

Easier to forgive if you can rationalise why something has happened or been said..

Not forgetting? Is this a 'learnt behaviour' 'A protective measure' to avoid it happening again or dealing with it better in the future?

Introspective, late night ramblings! I'm off to see whats on telly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nither once lied to I will never trust again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"So many folk saying they can 'forgive but don't forget!'

Easier to forgive if you can rationalise why something has happened or been said..

Not forgetting? Is this a 'learnt behaviour' 'A protective measure' to avoid it happening again or dealing with it better in the future?

Introspective, late night ramblings! I'm off to see whats on telly

If you keep getting electrocuted changing light bulbs, eventually you'll be sitting in the dark or leave the light bulb changing to other people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Depends but I'm incredibly stubborn so if I'm wronged I'll hold that grudge forever.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends really

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I'll forgive. Whether I forget depends on whether it's something I'm best remembering (for my own sake).

I'm a peaceful person and never wage war on anyone. I'd rather walk away and find solace some place else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Life is too short to hold a grudge and get even. If someone fucks me over then good luck to them. I will be wary of them in the future but I won’t go out of my way to do them harm. Karma usually does that and I find people tend to get their just desserts at some point. That is good enough for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread