FabSwingers.com forum: What do you think?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’d like anyone who reads this who has been in a similar situation to offer advise ( I suppose) on how they dealt with things……

I’m not going to write a long winded story. But in short I live with an alcoholic. Life is pretty lonely and I’m bored beyond belief (apart from weekends when kids are with me).

I joined fab in the belief my partner shared my desire of this life. Alcohol took over and I’m now here alone.

As much as I want to carry on exploring this crazy life. Living with someone as I do has it’s draw backs.

Should I stop this and be of further support, should I run a mile…….what do you think?

I’m not here to receive abusive comments, so if you have helpful thoughts please share. If not, thanks for reading.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should seek the advice elsewhere as none of us know the reality of your situation

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Fab is not the place to get advice on a complicated and personal part of your life.

You’d be far better speaking to somewhere like Al Anon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, Al Anon is the best place to look for advice of that nature (obviously not mentioning the whole swinging part unless you feel it necessary)

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can’t exactly discuss things with family as I don’t want them worrying etc.

I did join a chat club about living with one, only when COVID hit, it stopped the classes and I didn’t want to do the whole video chat thing.

Only reason I mentioned it here is I have seen comments on threads before which leads me to believe there are others here who have experienced what I do now.

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By *exyguy76Man
over a year ago

lancashire

I wouldn't want to live with an alcoholic I would try my up most best to help them or get them help. If they didn't want it I'd move on and find some 1 who would make me happy to spend x years with for a better life. Good luck hope all messages help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?"

No I’m not considering that at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d like anyone who reads this who has been in a similar situation to offer advise ( I suppose) on how they dealt with things……

I’m not going to write a long winded story. But in short I live with an alcoholic. Life is pretty lonely and I’m bored beyond belief (apart from weekends when kids are with me).

I joined fab in the belief my partner shared my desire of this life. Alcohol took over and I’m now here alone.

As much as I want to carry on exploring this crazy life. Living with someone as I do has it’s draw backs.

Should I stop this and be of further support, should I run a mile…….what do you think?

I’m not here to receive abusive comments, so if you have helpful thoughts please share. If not, thanks for reading. "

It is a complex issue and tbh the first and foremost is self care, make sure you are receiving support and look after yourself. Looking after someone with alchohol issues is a long and lonely road as that person has to admit they have a problem before anyone else can help them....

Just remember they are suffering an illness....small steps, be proactive. Maybe talk to someone like your GP about the support available for yourself and that person.

I wish you luck and thanks for sharing, it means you are ready to reach out.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?

No I’m not considering that at all. "

I am just confused. Your opening post says living with an alcoholic.....

If you don't live together, not intending to reunite I am not sure why swinging should be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?

No I’m not considering that at all.

I am just confused. Your opening post says living with an alcoholic.....

If you don't live together, not intending to reunite I am not sure why swinging should be a problem."

The alcoholic isn't the kids' mother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is not the place to get advice on a complicated and personal part of your life.

You’d be far better speaking to somewhere like Al Anon."

People seek support on all manner of subjects. Maybe he wants to speak to someone who is or has been in a similar situation as well as the professionals. General chat should be a safe space for people

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?

No I’m not considering that at all.

I am just confused. Your opening post says living with an alcoholic.....

If you don't live together, not intending to reunite I am not sure why swinging should be a problem.

The alcoholic isn't the kids' mother. "

Ah right

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Fab is not the place to get advice on a complicated and personal part of your life.

You’d be far better speaking to somewhere like Al Anon.

I have witnessed lots of people gain advice and support from this site when reaching out to the forum's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is not the place to get advice on a complicated and personal part of your life.

You’d be far better speaking to somewhere like Al Anon.

I have witnessed lots of people gain advice and support from this site when reaching out to the forum's."

Exactly, such a wide and varied demograph on the forums there will always be someone who can offer advice and others who can offer support

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile says your children live with their mum. Are you considering going back to live together ?

No I’m not considering that at all.

I am just confused. Your opening post says living with an alcoholic.....

If you don't live together, not intending to reunite I am not sure why swinging should be a problem.

The alcoholic isn't the kids' mother. "

Yes exactly

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Life is pretty lonely and I'm bored beyond belief" seems like a sad place to be. Try and look on the bright side. At least you are busy with work and have two lovely children.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

One of the hardest things an alcoholic can do is admit to themselves they have a problem, as a recovering alcoholic, I know first hand.

No one here can really give you the advise need, that is something only you can decide.

If you stay and support her, you need to be her rock. It isn't easy. She has to WANT to quit drinking, and has to admit to herself she has a problem before anyone can help.

My best advice is to contact your local alcohol abuse support group.

I wish you luck in what ever you decide to do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I haven't lived in the same house as an alcoholic but a close family member is an alcoholic so is their partner. The damage that can be done to children would be my first concern in your situation, not physically but emotionally.

Apart from that I echo what other people have said in getting support for yourself first followed by support for the alcoholic person. They will probably choose not to accept your support, the nature of any addiction is that the first love of the addict is whatever they're addicted to, you will always be second

I don't think swinging is something you should even consider until your partner is on the road to recovery.

Good luck to all concerned

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

And as harsh as this sounds I would remove myself from the situation as far as possible while still offering support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv never had an alcoholic partner but I have had an alcoholic parent.

The alcohol takes priority over everything and everyone.

In my experience you can be supportive but ultimately the person has to make the decision to seek help.

In regards to what you should do, its tricky as I don't know enough about your situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this.

Regardless of whatever I do next or whatever people have mentioned, it’s very nice for me to know that people have managed to find time in their lives to offer messages of support and well wishes.

Means a lot

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