FabSwingers.com forum: Thoughts please

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I have this situation where I feel like... well, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

A few weeks ago, I was idly scrolling through my local feed when a picture caught my eye. I clicked on the profile - and yep, I was right, there is a cousin of mine. Multiple face pictures public, very clearly him.

OK, awkward.

I know he's in a (supposedly!) monogamous relationship and they have a young child. I am very good friends with his girlfriend... and that leaves me in a very uncomfortable position.

Part of me thinks... not my relationship, not my business, I don't like drama and conflict, people generally don't thank you for bringing unpleasant truths to light etc. etc. Another part of me thinks... she deserves to know the truth, I'd want to know if it was me, and I am really struggling to interact with her normally when I know what I know.

Mostly I just think he's a dick for cheating and a fucking idiot for having clear face pictures publicly!

I wish I didn't know, but now I do, and I am genuinely torn on what the right course of action is.

Thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would have a conversation with him first..

Could it be a fake profile that someone has set up using his photos??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block him. Move on and try to forget you've seen it.

No good will come from getting involved

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Don’t get involved. You don’t know their situation. It could be agreed. She could know.

My personal opinion is it’s not your business.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

This is really difficult...do you think he knows you're on here

Should you tell him you know what he's doing

Should you tell her what he's doing...

I wouldn't like to make the judgment....

I'd tell him

And then if he doesn't leave the site tell her

What ever you decide... take your time

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Have to agree with Nora

Block and forget

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no good will come of it itll get messy and there will be tears just my 2p anyway Id steer clear but its up to you depending on how close a friend she is

he will fuck up somehow anyway in time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally I would have a conversation with him first..

Could it be a fake profile that someone has set up using his photos?? "

I did wonder that, but he has four pictures of himself, he is photo verified, and all the details match his exactly so if it's someone pretending to be him, it's got to be someone who knows him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you have to take raw emotion and moral issues out of the equation and break it down in a much colder, methodical way.

Is blood thicker than water? How will it affect the relationship with your cousin? What would the fall out be with the rest of the family be? How would the rest of your family react if it comes out that you are on a swinging site too? Will she be grateful to you, or resent you for telling her?

Only you can answer those questions. When you do though and have a clearer understanding of a possibly much bigger picture and one way or another, you'll know what course of action is best to take.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'd speak to him first.

It doesn't have to be all accusatory and finger pointy, it can be a open convo.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"no good will come of it itll get messy and there will be tears just my 2p anyway Id steer clear but its up to you depending on how close a friend she is

he will fuck up somehow anyway in time"

That's very true. Assuming she doesn't know - and I am 99% sure that she doesn't, but I acknowledge that no one knows what is going on with others behind closed doors - he is an absolute moron for having his face pictures publicly displayed! Anyone could be on here and come across a profile and not everyone would be discreet and considerate about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes you have to take raw emotion and moral issues out of the equation and break it down in a much colder, methodical way.

Only you can answer those questions. When you do though and have a clearer understanding of a possibly much bigger picture and one way or another, you'll know what course of action is best to take."

Thank you, those are all very good points to consider.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"no good will come of it itll get messy and there will be tears just my 2p anyway Id steer clear but its up to you depending on how close a friend she is

he will fuck up somehow anyway in time"

Yeah, imagine how guilty the OP would feel and how many more lives could get turned upside down the longer it gets ignored. It could be the swift shock necessary to give him a jolt of reality, or even an opening into a convo if things aren't going too well. Maybe an opportunity to advise couples counselling or something.

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

"So I have this situation where I feel like... well, damned if I do, damned if I don't.

OK, awkward.

I know he's in a (supposedly!) monogamous relationship and they have a young child. I am very good friends with his girlfriend... and that leaves me in a very uncomfortable position.

Mostly I just think he's a dick for cheating and a fucking idiot for having clear face pictures publicly!

I wish I didn't know, but now I do, and I am genuinely torn on what the right course of action is.

Thoughts? "

Maybe you have already answered your question (if it was me I would wanna know) if you are very close to your friend and value her then I would tell her regardless of the out come...my conscious would be clear...you could do it anonymously, I suppose it depends on whether you want people to know your on here, screen shot his profile + pic so he cannot deny it. Your choice OP...we are all different how we deal with things. Years ago I saw my mates hubby out with a women...he was having an affair with her..I told my friend as she was a really good friend and still is...she chose to stay with him knowing he did have an affair. That was her choice, I was just glad that I put her before him.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Whatever you decide OP just be careful. He won’t thank you for interfering and if he thinks you are on here then he could try and retaliate.

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