FabSwingers.com forum: Cat Calling

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Most women on here hate it from the threads I’ve seen. I’m not really fussed personally.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Doesn't bother me too much in the light of day. Just shrug it off with a smile.

But as you say, if it goes past a compliment, or it happens at night, I'm a little more wary.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Never had it but I do think it's pretty creepy to be honest and can understand why it makes some women uncomfortable.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Absolutly not. I dont need that kind of attention

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda makes me cringe to be honest, but then again, I'm not normally one for making one off comments to strangers. Why bother if you literally will never see them again?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

Should read " diet Co ke ad looking guy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it also doesn’t make me feel good.

Someone saying in a nice non creepy manner that I look nice would make me smile, someone whistling over the road or “Oi Oi sexy” just kinda makes me cringe.

There’s just no class to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

Not me.

If a fit guy cat called me that attraction I had for him would soon start disappearing.

It’s just not attractive, as I said, I don’t hate it, but it won’t make me want to run and jump into bed with someone.

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

Hi OP

it depends how it's done I may blush, smile it off or be in complete embarrassment as they want the whole street to know "look at her".

I've never liked being centre of attention where it's obvious xx

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By *exy Two-Shoes40Man
over a year ago

bolton

There’s nothing more off-putting than getting a taste of your own medicine. So if a catcaller "compliments" a specific part of your body, get back at them by flinging the same "compliment" right back at them. And if they don’t have that same body part, you can always go for the good ol' “Damn, I love that tiny d*ck of yours!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"There’s nothing more off-putting than getting a taste of your own medicine. So if a catcaller "compliments" a specific part of your body, get back at them by flinging the same "compliment" right back at them. And if they don’t have that same body part, you can always go for the good ol' “Damn, I love that tiny d*ck of yours!

That’s what I do. Soon shuts them up

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it also doesn’t make me feel good.

Someone saying in a nice non creepy manner that I look nice would make me smile, someone whistling over the road or “Oi Oi sexy” just kinda makes me cringe.

There’s just no class to it. "

I used to have to drive the work's van from Barnes to Ealing Broadway approx 6/8 guy's all shouting at any female we passed.

Talk about embarrassing,my boss was the worst culprit.

"Wheyheyyyy love, hang one out make an old man happy"

Omg and people wonder why builder's have a bad reputation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/06/21 21:14:31]

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again

Ermmm have you ever seen a group of women on a night out pissed up?

They are just as bad if not worse than guy's.

I think the difference being it's generally pretty harmless and maybe just acting up in front of mate's or even just giving guy's a taste of their own medicine!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That last bit was my thinking too, if I were to pay them a compliment, I would do that with the hope it would go somewhere. Not sure if that comes across as if I have ulterior motives though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it.

At best it makes me uncomfortable, at the worst it makes me feel scared.

Looks don't matter to me either. I just fail to see how it could in any way be considered a positive thing.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

It's unacceptable and crass. All theemnwho call women snowflakes and precious for not liking it, wouldn't be happy with a big leather daddy type shouting out at them.

I don't care about the attractiveness of the caller or calleee, women are not here to be objectified for male pleasure. See also "smile luv" etc.

That doesn't mean you can't approach women or compliment them.inna respectful manor, but passing critique on our bodies as we're going about our day is unnecessary, undignified and best left back in the 70s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact is, if a few women who do like it cease to get their jollies for the far greater benefit of the vast majority who find it everywhere on a spectrum from mildly unsettling to downright terrifying, men should just bite their fucking tongues and not do it.

I can't claim to the world's greatest paragon of wokeness, but I can state that I have never, ever catcalled. I'm just not crass enough.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

What I have noticed is that the problem is less the cat calling...but who does the cat calling- by that I mean that a man that is viewed as attractive is less likely to annoy the woman with the comments. Regardless, a man that does that is most likely not very intelligent, and it's less about complimenting the woman on her appearance and more to boost his own ego.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

S - Love it…. If I look good that day, it’s a compliment. Sometimes it’s tacky but it’s still a bit of fun.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

"
same here. I developed a womans body at a young age and had to put up with it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Hate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't happen now I could deal with it... When it scared/intimidated me is when it did

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t.

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Sorry, I'm a bit old school here.

But as lads, we often used to wolf whistle at girls walking by. And they nearly always responded with a lovely smile and a thank you, and sometimes a wiggle!

There never seemed to be any harm done.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I don't get cat called or whistled as these days, but when I did I took it as a compliment. It always seemed lighthearted.

However, if it was rude personal comments that would be a different matter entirely. The same goes for unwanted touching. Guys at the bar in my 20s got feet trodden on with stiletto heels, if their hands wandered... they stopped sharpish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick comment, whistle etc makes me a little uncomfortable but I take it as a compliment.

When the men become aggressive, vulgar, persistent and try to touch that is when it crosses a line and I freak out. I see that as abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15.

He must’ve been about 55.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. "
and that is why women have to put up with shit because thats what sone guys believe

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15.

He must’ve been about 55. "

Yep, and I see it happening all over again with my daughter. It's appalling. Grown men sexualising children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always hated it. It's only ever groups of men, or at least 2's, who do it. Never men on their own. It's just posturing and showing off to their mates and never for the benefit of the woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, i hate it, it makes me feel very vulnerable...

I've also been walking with my friend, and his teenage daughters have been ahead of us and have been wolf whistled in the street - he got very upset and they didn't like it.. They were 14

Its not sexy, or cool, or a bit of fun

I walk 10km daily on my own through the city and various parks in my gym leggings .. I'd totally freak if i was on my own

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It can be anything from annoying to embarrassing to intimidating.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It's bloody scary when you have to walk past them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like it, it makes me feel anxious. I've experienced how easily it can escalate into something more sinister and I didn't like it one bit

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

It’s never really bothered me as it’s normally bravado in front of their mates

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Never done it - don’t think it’s cool - mostly done by Neanderthals who couldn’t fuck their way out of a paper bag. Mostly crude and lewd comments too!! I have on one occasion asked a woman where got her hair done as I thought it looked amazing - she told me the name and smiled but said they only do ladies hair… I should definitely have asked for her number !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not something I’ve ever felt the urge to do. Except in a relationship and seeing the other half dressed up kind of scenario if that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like it, it makes me feel anxious. I've experienced how easily it can escalate into something more sinister and I didn't like it one bit

This is why I wouldn’t do it. 99% of the time it’s probably just innocent but I’d hate to be in the situation where you don’t know and what that feels like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to be warey , there's alot of creeps on here. A beautiful girl like you will get so much attention too. Touch dont pay too much attention to it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. "

This, 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not something I’ve ever felt the urge to do. Except in a relationship and seeing the other half dressed up kind of scenario if that makes sense. "

I think that is fine

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!!

but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

Lambast number 1...... ( a little bit o monica in my life ) ... half a lambast then... bit of a one.

Some, SOME women , sometimes like the attention and DO take it better from someone they find attractive. The psychology behind it though is not as simple as it seems. It's okay to respond to someone you fancy with a smile or an hello. It shows you are welcoming the attention. But it's a problem for women to give false come ons.. so if they smiled and waved back or gave any indication that they welcomed the attention they are going to get followed, propositioned etc etc and no matter how 'nice' mr. ugly is she has then got to let him down ....... and is then labelled a prick tease.

Now you can lambast me if you want but Mr. Deadly handsome is not likely to follow through with the flirting whearas Mr. Fugly is going to be delighted to have got a come on and keep going for it.

I'm just putting my hazmat on before you spit.

OH. BTW .... It's sexual harrassment in most circumstances in my book - but maybe not if you wiggle for a living.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. "

You going down the women's institute later ?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I see it as sexual harassment.

It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see it as sexual harassment.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable"

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Just to add more, as I'm not one for shutting up. Regardless of the intention of the caller, the fact is that they have absolutely no right to he passing comment on someone's body, as though it were a public commodity and they certainly have no idea of a woman's previous experience with such matters.

Locally, a 13 year old girl was catcalled by 2 young men on her way back from school (in uniform) and when she didn't respond how they wanted, they spat at her. How awful for that poor girl. So imagine how she'll feel the next time it happens to her, and it undoubtedly will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see what people think they will gain from it, I think it's pretty immature to say the least.

Fine, if you are walking past a random stranger or whatever and think they look good, then keep it to yourself.

If down the line I came across someone doing it to my neices I would slap the shit out of the cat caller until they learn some manners.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Not really something I have to deal with nowadays but as a younger woman it used to make me feel incredibly intimidated and vulnerable & I hate the thought of my daughters having to deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. "

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

"I see it as sexual harassment.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

At my age I take what I can lol! Not hear me complaining! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it, I find it super creepy.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"Just to add more, as I'm not one for shutting up. Regardless of the intention of the caller, the fact is that they have absolutely no right to he passing comment on someone's body, as though it were a public commodity and they certainly have no idea of a woman's previous experience with such matters.

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"?

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"? "

Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive.

The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men.

It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

A look a smile or hello is all u need x

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm really quite indifferent to it, and see it as just a bit of bravado in front of their mates.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"?

Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive.

The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men.

It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions. "

I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure.

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

Just because some people do not take offence does not mean it is not offensive behaviour.. It is basically, sexually predatory behaviour....

You would not get cat called for completing the Times cryptic crossword

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure."

They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it".

Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

Catcalling in the street is kinda dead ... several times I’ve seen lads shouting something and the girl hasn’t even noticed as 90 per cent of people seem to walk around with headphones on these days so they simply don’t notice the noise around them. So some bloke shooting “nice arse luv” won’t even be heard.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure.

Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on."

Yup

I lived near a girl's school growing up, and stuff in this realm was not taken at all seriously. We needed to be less sensitive.

Grown men hung around a girl's school for sexual kicks (I'm not detailing what they did, nothing to me), this was known for decades, and the community attitude was to laugh it off.

I hope we've moved the fuck on, because that's fucking disturbing.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think it's a bit cowardly...I bet they'll run a mile if you reacted

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"From an incident a few days ago .....