FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Cat Calling

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Most women on here hate it from the threads I’ve seen. I’m not really fussed personally.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Doesn't bother me too much in the light of day. Just shrug it off with a smile.

But as you say, if it goes past a compliment, or it happens at night, I'm a little more wary.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Never had it but I do think it's pretty creepy to be honest and can understand why it makes some women uncomfortable.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Absolutly not. I dont need that kind of attention

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda makes me cringe to be honest, but then again, I'm not normally one for making one off comments to strangers. Why bother if you literally will never see them again?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

"

Should read " diet Co ke ad looking guy"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it also doesn’t make me feel good.

Someone saying in a nice non creepy manner that I look nice would make me smile, someone whistling over the road or “Oi Oi sexy” just kinda makes me cringe.

There’s just no class to it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

"

Not me.

If a fit guy cat called me that attraction I had for him would soon start disappearing.

It’s just not attractive, as I said, I don’t hate it, but it won’t make me want to run and jump into bed with someone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

Hi OP it depends how it's done I may blush, smile it off or be in complete embarrassment as they want the whole street to know "look at her".

I've never liked being centre of attention where it's obvious xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *exy Two-Shoes40Man
over a year ago

bolton

There’s nothing more off-putting than getting a taste of your own medicine. So if a catcaller "compliments" a specific part of your body, get back at them by flinging the same "compliment" right back at them. And if they don’t have that same body part, you can always go for the good ol' “Damn, I love that tiny d*ck of yours!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"There’s nothing more off-putting than getting a taste of your own medicine. So if a catcaller "compliments" a specific part of your body, get back at them by flinging the same "compliment" right back at them. And if they don’t have that same body part, you can always go for the good ol' “Damn, I love that tiny d*ck of yours! "

That’s what I do. Soon shuts them up

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it also doesn’t make me feel good.

Someone saying in a nice non creepy manner that I look nice would make me smile, someone whistling over the road or “Oi Oi sexy” just kinda makes me cringe.

There’s just no class to it. "

I used to have to drive the work's van from Barnes to Ealing Broadway approx 6/8 guy's all shouting at any female we passed.

Talk about embarrassing,my boss was the worst culprit.

"Wheyheyyyy love, hang one out make an old man happy"

Omg and people wonder why builder's have a bad reputation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/06/21 21:14:31]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again "

Ermmm have you ever seen a group of women on a night out pissed up?

They are just as bad if not worse than guy's.

I think the difference being it's generally pretty harmless and maybe just acting up in front of mate's or even just giving guy's a taste of their own medicine!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again "

That last bit was my thinking too, if I were to pay them a compliment, I would do that with the hope it would go somewhere. Not sure if that comes across as if I have ulterior motives though

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it.

At best it makes me uncomfortable, at the worst it makes me feel scared.

Looks don't matter to me either. I just fail to see how it could in any way be considered a positive thing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

It's unacceptable and crass. All theemnwho call women snowflakes and precious for not liking it, wouldn't be happy with a big leather daddy type shouting out at them.

I don't care about the attractiveness of the caller or calleee, women are not here to be objectified for male pleasure. See also "smile luv" etc.

That doesn't mean you can't approach women or compliment them.inna respectful manor, but passing critique on our bodies as we're going about our day is unnecessary, undignified and best left back in the 70s.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact is, if a few women who do like it cease to get their jollies for the far greater benefit of the vast majority who find it everywhere on a spectrum from mildly unsettling to downright terrifying, men should just bite their fucking tongues and not do it.

I can't claim to the world's greatest paragon of wokeness, but I can state that I have never, ever catcalled. I'm just not crass enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

What I have noticed is that the problem is less the cat calling...but who does the cat calling- by that I mean that a man that is viewed as attractive is less likely to annoy the woman with the comments. Regardless, a man that does that is most likely not very intelligent, and it's less about complimenting the woman on her appearance and more to boost his own ego.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

S - Love it…. If I look good that day, it’s a compliment. Sometimes it’s tacky but it’s still a bit of fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

"

same here. I developed a womans body at a young age and had to put up with it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Hate it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't happen now I could deal with it... When it scared/intimidated me is when it did

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Sorry, I'm a bit old school here.

But as lads, we often used to wolf whistle at girls walking by. And they nearly always responded with a lovely smile and a thank you, and sometimes a wiggle!

There never seemed to be any harm done.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I don't get cat called or whistled as these days, but when I did I took it as a compliment. It always seemed lighthearted.

However, if it was rude personal comments that would be a different matter entirely. The same goes for unwanted touching. Guys at the bar in my 20s got feet trodden on with stiletto heels, if their hands wandered... they stopped sharpish

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick comment, whistle etc makes me a little uncomfortable but I take it as a compliment.

When the men become aggressive, vulgar, persistent and try to touch that is when it crosses a line and I freak out. I see that as abuse.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

"

Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15.

He must’ve been about 55.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. "
and that is why women have to put up with shit because thats what sone guys believe

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13.

That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood.

Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15.

He must’ve been about 55. "

Yep, and I see it happening all over again with my daughter. It's appalling. Grown men sexualising children.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always hated it. It's only ever groups of men, or at least 2's, who do it. Never men on their own. It's just posturing and showing off to their mates and never for the benefit of the woman.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, i hate it, it makes me feel very vulnerable...

I've also been walking with my friend, and his teenage daughters have been ahead of us and have been wolf whistled in the street - he got very upset and they didn't like it.. They were 14

Its not sexy, or cool, or a bit of fun

I walk 10km daily on my own through the city and various parks in my gym leggings .. I'd totally freak if i was on my own

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It can be anything from annoying to embarrassing to intimidating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It's bloody scary when you have to walk past them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like it, it makes me feel anxious. I've experienced how easily it can escalate into something more sinister and I didn't like it one bit

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

It’s never really bothered me as it’s normally bravado in front of their mates

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Never done it - don’t think it’s cool - mostly done by Neanderthals who couldn’t fuck their way out of a paper bag. Mostly crude and lewd comments too!! I have on one occasion asked a woman where got her hair done as I thought it looked amazing - she told me the name and smiled but said they only do ladies hair… I should definitely have asked for her number !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not something I’ve ever felt the urge to do. Except in a relationship and seeing the other half dressed up kind of scenario if that makes sense.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like it, it makes me feel anxious. I've experienced how easily it can escalate into something more sinister and I didn't like it one bit "

This is why I wouldn’t do it. 99% of the time it’s probably just innocent but I’d hate to be in the situation where you don’t know and what that feels like.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to be warey , there's alot of creeps on here. A beautiful girl like you will get so much attention too. Touch dont pay too much attention to it x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. "

This, 100%

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not something I’ve ever felt the urge to do. Except in a relationship and seeing the other half dressed up kind of scenario if that makes sense. "

I think that is fine

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but...

Double standards.

Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly.

If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response.

Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling.

But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive.

"

Lambast number 1...... ( a little bit o monica in my life ) ... half a lambast then... bit of a one.

Some, SOME women , sometimes like the attention and DO take it better from someone they find attractive. The psychology behind it though is not as simple as it seems. It's okay to respond to someone you fancy with a smile or an hello. It shows you are welcoming the attention. But it's a problem for women to give false come ons.. so if they smiled and waved back or gave any indication that they welcomed the attention they are going to get followed, propositioned etc etc and no matter how 'nice' mr. ugly is she has then got to let him down ....... and is then labelled a prick tease.

Now you can lambast me if you want but Mr. Deadly handsome is not likely to follow through with the flirting whearas Mr. Fugly is going to be delighted to have got a come on and keep going for it.

I'm just putting my hazmat on before you spit.

OH. BTW .... It's sexual harrassment in most circumstances in my book - but maybe not if you wiggle for a living.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. "

You going down the women's institute later ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I see it as sexual harassment.

It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see it as sexual harassment.

It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Just to add more, as I'm not one for shutting up. Regardless of the intention of the caller, the fact is that they have absolutely no right to he passing comment on someone's body, as though it were a public commodity and they certainly have no idea of a woman's previous experience with such matters.

Locally, a 13 year old girl was catcalled by 2 young men on her way back from school (in uniform) and when she didn't respond how they wanted, they spat at her. How awful for that poor girl. So imagine how she'll feel the next time it happens to her, and it undoubtedly will.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see what people think they will gain from it, I think it's pretty immature to say the least.

Fine, if you are walking past a random stranger or whatever and think they look good, then keep it to yourself.

If down the line I came across someone doing it to my neices I would slap the shit out of the cat caller until they learn some manners.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Not really something I have to deal with nowadays but as a younger woman it used to make me feel incredibly intimidated and vulnerable & I hate the thought of my daughters having to deal with it.

K

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment.

I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon.

Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth


"I see it as sexual harassment.

It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous.

Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

At my age I take what I can lol! Not hear me complaining! X

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate it, I find it super creepy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Just to add more, as I'm not one for shutting up. Regardless of the intention of the caller, the fact is that they have absolutely no right to he passing comment on someone's body, as though it were a public commodity and they certainly have no idea of a woman's previous experience with such matters.

Locally, a 13 year old girl was catcalled by 2 young men on her way back from school (in uniform) and when she didn't respond how they wanted, they spat at her. How awful for that poor girl. So imagine how she'll feel the next time it happens to her, and it undoubtedly will.

"

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"? "

Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive.

The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men.

It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

A look a smile or hello is all u need x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I'm really quite indifferent to it, and see it as just a bit of bravado in front of their mates.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"

For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level.

If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"?

Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive.

The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men.

It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions. "

I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

Just because some people do not take offence does not mean it is not offensive behaviour.. It is basically, sexually predatory behaviour....

You would not get cat called for completing the Times cryptic crossword

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure."

They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it".

Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

Catcalling in the street is kinda dead ... several times I’ve seen lads shouting something and the girl hasn’t even noticed as 90 per cent of people seem to walk around with headphones on these days so they simply don’t notice the noise around them. So some bloke shooting “nice arse luv” won’t even be heard.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure.

They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it".

Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on."

Yup

I lived near a girl's school growing up, and stuff in this realm was not taken at all seriously. We needed to be less sensitive.

Grown men hung around a girl's school for sexual kicks (I'm not detailing what they did, nothing to me), this was known for decades, and the community attitude was to laugh it off.

I hope we've moved the fuck on, because that's fucking disturbing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think it's a bit cowardly...I bet they'll run a mile if you reacted

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate. "

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

No I don't like it from what I can remember ,now I'm invisible

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. "

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff.

She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment.

To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman "

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. "

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff.

She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment.

To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life.

"

We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive.

It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I detest it, I’m more for my daughter than myself. I would like to round these people up and get them to sit and listen to the affect it has on some people. Negative or positive comments, I’m not bothered- it just needs to stop in my opinion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? "

I disagree

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them?

I disagree "

With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important.

If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. "

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff.

She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment.

To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life.

We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive.

It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough."

I must admit I was shocked at the time, that some women runners were ok about it. When the guy stopped her in Town I wanted to call the Police as she was really upset and it shook her up. He gets to walk around and do it again but my ex wife has to change her routine to avoid it happening again.

I couldn’t even run with her as we had a small child at the time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff.

She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment.

To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life.

We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive.

It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough.

I must admit I was shocked at the time, that some women runners were ok about it. When the guy stopped her in Town I wanted to call the Police as she was really upset and it shook her up. He gets to walk around and do it again but my ex wife has to change her routine to avoid it happening again.

I couldn’t even run with her as we had a small child at the time. "

Yeah. Other people hassling us is our fault, our burden to handle. As it ever was

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure.

They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it".

Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on."

I’ll have to respectfully disagree on the indecent exposure point.

Report to police and see how seriously it is taken.

If people suggest that no harm is done and doesn’t report it then that is their failing.

The fact that the local paper covers it suggests that it is taken seriously.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I remember walking home from school with a large (school hire) instrument. Wondering if this time when I was cat called it might turn into more. If this instrument would make a good defensive weapon. Whether the school's insurance would cover it - because even 20 years ago it would have cost into five figures to replace if I broke it.

It shouldn't be normal to have to ponder whether going home from school orchestra practice would end that badly.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?"

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. "

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

"

It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women).

We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women).

We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"...

"

Actually this does work and the younger guys I work with think it’s the sort of behaviour that older dirty old men do. Rather than something they feel should be copied and carried on, like some sort of rite of passage.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women).

We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"...

"

Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better?

Don't younger women deserve better?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women).

We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"...

Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better?

Don't younger women deserve better?"

100%, over the years I've been shocked and angered by the experiences related to me by my daughters (now in their 20s).

Especially when these experiences were walking home in their school uniforms.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it.

And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?

It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right.

Yes.

And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we?

It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women).

We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"...

Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better?

Don't younger women deserve better?

100%, over the years I've been shocked and angered by the experiences related to me by my daughters (now in their 20s).

Especially when these experiences were walking home in their school uniforms."

Yup.

I'd never tell my dad what I experienced.

And isn't that telling. That I'd protect my dad from what happened to me when I needed protection.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"

I’ll have to respectfully disagree on the indecent exposure point.

Report to police and see how seriously it is taken.

If people suggest that no harm is done and doesn’t report it then that is their failing.

The fact that the local paper covers it suggests that it is taken seriously.

"

Newspapers report things as clickbait. Them reporting on an incident is not an indication of how much it matters or is taken seriously. It is titillation and gets people interacting with their media.

In terms of cynerflashing, that isnt even a crime in its own right, so that's how little they care about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them?

I disagree

With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important.

If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs? "

When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s?

I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all.

People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them?

I disagree

With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important.

If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs?

When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s?

I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all.

People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal. "

I think that this isn’t one of those things where you can disagree or it’s a matter of opinion though.

This isn’t pineapple on pizza, this is a form of harassment, we should be listening, not arguing

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 14:33:16]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"From an incident a few days ago .....

COPIED

The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her.

She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident".

She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him.

In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident."

The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street."

She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon...

So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure.

Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ...

Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc .....

Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women.

Keep the two separate.

You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women.

Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably.

But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption.

Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman

... as I acknowledged.

But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”.

It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them?

I disagree

With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important.

If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs?

When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s?

I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all.

People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal.

I think that this isn’t one of those things where you can disagree or it’s a matter of opinion though.

This isn’t pineapple on pizza, this is a form of harassment, we should be listening, not arguing"

I disagree with catcalling, it’s pretty sad behaviour.

Bit i also disagree with the claimed intent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Jimmy you are mixing up intent and consequence there.

You state as FACT that men cat call to impress their mates...... blah blah blah .......

You confuse your experiences with mine...

There is room for many schools of thought without resorting to informal fallacy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Jimmy you are mixing up intent and consequence there.

You state as FACT that men cat call to impress their mates...... blah blah blah .......

You confuse your experiences with mine...

There is room for many schools of thought without resorting to informal fallacy.

"

Yes, that fact would not explain, for example, the lone male in a van shouting out the window.

He has no mates to impress with him, and must know that the shout is unlikely, in the extreme, to gain him favour with the target.

So what is his motivation?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just unacceptable.

1. The guy cannot know how it'll be received.

2. It's sexual objectification of a woman.

3. You wouldn't regularly walk up to people in the street to compliment them on their hair or clothes, so it's singling out someone for ulterior motives.

4. It's harassment.

Well done to the lady cyclist who recently confronted the man in his Range Rover for making remarks about her bum as he drove past.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/"

Sometimes, way, deep down, I wear clothes for my own satisfaction and my own comfort.

By sometimes I mean always.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/"

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it?

Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

"

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !"

Err you literally said that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is."

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Although I admitted that I did it in my younger days(although it was never anything crass I was always polite" morning or beautiful day") but grew up.

Male bravado and all that, gladly I've learned to be far more respectful not making excuses but it was the mid 80's and it was definitely different times.

It's banned on building site's and would probably result in immediate dismissal today.

But one thing that did and still does puzzle me is what exactly are guy's thinking will happen.

So they see a lady walking down the road and shout various things.

Do they honestly think that the woman is going to go weak at the knees and come over and shag them right there and then?

Has anyone ever been successful and actually pulled using this method?

What does seem strange is that this crass loutish behaviour seems to be permanently acceptable when it's on holiday in shagalouf or marbs.

From both sexes I might add.

Lastly I can honestly say that these days I rarely even make eye contact with a woman for fear of being branded a pervert.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !

Err you literally said that."

no I don't think I did? where ?

neither did I infer or imply it..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up ."

Times have changed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:06:54]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:07:37]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !

Err you literally said that.

no I don't think I did? where ?

neither did I infer or imply it.."

I quote:

"You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do"

Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"Although I admitted that I did it in my younger days(although it was never anything crass I was always polite" morning or beautiful day") but grew up.

Male bravado and all that, gladly I've learned to be far more respectful not making excuses but it was the mid 80's and it was definitely different times.

It's banned on building site's and would probably result in immediate dismissal today.

But one thing that did and still does puzzle me is what exactly are guy's thinking will happen.

So they see a lady walking down the road and shout various things.

Do they honestly think that the woman is going to go weak at the knees and come over and shag them right there and then?

Has anyone ever been successful and actually pulled using this method?

What does seem strange is that this crass loutish behaviour seems to be permanently acceptable when it's on holiday in shagalouf or marbs.

From both sexes I might add.

Lastly I can honestly say that these days I rarely even make eye contact with a woman for fear of being branded a pervert."

Perfectly not permanently.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

"

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:17:07]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..."

Well sorry for being honest!

I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand..

I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Well sorry for being honest!

I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand..

I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either! "

A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning.

Why are they wrong?

Why would you want to make someone feel that way?

Why would you want to risk it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Although I admitted that I did it in my younger days(although it was never anything crass I was always polite" morning or beautiful day") but grew up.

Male bravado and all that, gladly I've learned to be far more respectful not making excuses but it was the mid 80's and it was definitely different times.

It's banned on building site's and would probably result in immediate dismissal today.

But one thing that did and still does puzzle me is what exactly are guy's thinking will happen.

So they see a lady walking down the road and shout various things.

Do they honestly think that the woman is going to go weak at the knees and come over and shag them right there and then?

Has anyone ever been successful and actually pulled using this method?

What does seem strange is that this crass loutish behaviour seems to be permanently acceptable when it's on holiday in shagalouf or marbs.

From both sexes I might add.

Lastly I can honestly say that these days I rarely even make eye contact with a woman for fear of being branded a pervert.

Perfectly not permanently."

the last part of this is the most worrying 'fear' instilled into people and as you say very mixed messages..why should people be so frightened if each other , what they should be doing is just getting along surely?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Well sorry for being honest!

I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand..

I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either!

A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning.

Why are they wrong?

Why would you want to make someone feel that way?

Why would you want to risk it?"

risk what? are you confusing me with someone else ?

I am referring to looking at a pretty woman and admiring from afar?

no one knows it is aware so I don't see the harm?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Well sorry for being honest!

I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand..

I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either!

A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning.

Why are they wrong?

Why would you want to make someone feel that way?

Why would you want to risk it?

risk what? are you confusing me with someone else ?

I am referring to looking at a pretty woman and admiring from afar?

no one knows it is aware so I don't see the harm?"

The thread is about catcalling, and I'm pretty sure your OP referred to staring. That can be disconcerting too.

If we're doing "if you ban catcalling and staring like an animal, then men can't even admire a pretty lady without being shot in the high street" sort of stuff, then let's not. Catcalling is bad. Staring is bad. Being circumspect is good - we don't necessarily want or need your opinions on us. (And yeah that does go both ways and yeah I do practice this in my own life)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..."

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..."

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. "

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance "

This has always been a problem. It's just now it's acceptable to make men aware of it...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:33:30]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?"

I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !

Err you literally said that.

no I don't think I did? where ?

neither did I infer or imply it..

I quote:

"You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do"

Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above."

firstly I never mentioned men in my post you did?

secondly I said women enjoy men looking at them..some clearly do if the profile pictures on fab are anything to go by..the hey word there was 'look' by the way.

' asking for it ' refers I believe to someone who is physically attacked because if they way they look it how they are dressed

it doesn't refer to a guy looking at a pretty woman and as the Americans might say 'checking her out'

or is that now a crime too ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issLipsandhipsWoman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

100% the same. Love it but no touching or really crude stuff x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

Quote ......

You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her...

Unquote .......

Revealing = A word only used about women.

Man wears vest.

Woman wears revealing top.

Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her.

Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there.

I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it.

Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !

Err you literally said that.

no I don't think I did? where ?

neither did I infer or imply it..

I quote:

"You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do"

Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above.

firstly I never mentioned men in my post you did?

secondly I said women enjoy men looking at them..some clearly do if the profile pictures on fab are anything to go by..the hey word there was 'look' by the way.

' asking for it ' refers I believe to someone who is physically attacked because if they way they look it how they are dressed

it doesn't refer to a guy looking at a pretty woman and as the Americans might say 'checking her out'

or is that now a crime too ?"

I did not say the man bit - I quoted you and asked you to clarify why it's different from what Granny said.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?

I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive."

I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance "

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:45:49]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 17:47:47]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. "

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are your thoughts on it?

I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on

With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? "

The problem is that guys will never know who does and doesn't enjoy it. Unfortunately it gives 'permission' to do it to all women regardless.

It'll come down to the place and context whether this type of flirting is acceptable. Just walking down a street minding your own business is never going to be one of those.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I think all of us, that put pictures up or engage in the forums of fab open ourselves to objectification but we do this in a space that is designed for that kind of interaction and we have a choice in that.

Objectification in our everyday lives however is a very different thing, it can be equally, intimidating, humiliating, irritating and devaluing.

Context is everything but what somebody chooses to wear should never be used as an excuse to behave in a less than respectful manner.

Think about it, when I walk along the beach and see people in what amounts to underwear, do I wolf whistle or “compliment” them with my thoughts on their attractiveness, no. Because of context. Similarly, I do not comment on what people wear when walking down the street or at work, it’s not appropriate.

If someone truly wants you to comment on their appearance, they will usually ask you or put themselves in a space where it is contextually appropriate, if you think it’s okay to disregard that, then I’m afraid YOU are the problem. It’s not harmless, it’s degrading if it’s unwanted.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks "

We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better.

You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks "

I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day.

I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke""

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

"

It’s predatory behaviour that’s why.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

"

You can sense when someone is staring. Why is it ok?

A woman can feel vulnerable, scared sometimes, anxious, self conscious and so many other things. The trouble is, the person staring doesn’t care about any of that. Their need is greater.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?

I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive.

I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe?"

Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then.

Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

"

If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means.

Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is.

Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality.

If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means.

Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is.

Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality.

If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better."

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day.

I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it. "

you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again !

I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life.

Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined..

just my thoughts obviously .

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means.

Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is.

Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality.

If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better."

I'm not disagreeing with you

but what if you do something no one is aware of and therefore can't be ofended by? which was my original point..sadly one that people have blown right out of proportion by seizing on one part of my post and focussing on that alone.Which was quite disappointing as I was having quite a nice day.

Have a good evening

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?

I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive.

I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe?

Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then.

Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line? "

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day.

I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it.

you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again !

I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life.

Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined..

just my thoughts obviously ."

Why are you lumping catcalling/ wolf whistling and lecherous staring in with looking and not being seen?

Why are you lumping "that's a creepy thing to do and makes people feel bad, don't" in with "ruined lives"?

Why are our perspectives, or our feelings about relatives, less valid than yours?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day.

I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it.

you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again !

I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life.

Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined..

just my thoughts obviously ."

I mentioned my daughter but this is not isolated to her or her friends. This is rife. It makes them feel awful. I don’t need a life lesson on what she does and does not need to do. Men need to behave and control themselves. They do not have the right to make others uncomfortable.

I notice you use the word ‘overly’ lecherous. So moderately lecherous towards people is ok? Who decides what overly is. You? Each individual? We already know that doesn’t work.

I worked in the 80s and I was upset by the behaviour but women couldn’t speak out. I was young and had a 40 something year old boss who would say ‘Babs, have you got something wet and warm for me’ when he wanted a cup of tea. We put up with it because we had no choice. It’s disgusting. Don’t think that women enjoyed just because it wasn’t tackled. Things should be better by now but they aren’t because too many people are accepting of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

It’s predatory behaviour that’s why. "

we are all predators in some way or another though it's our most base if instincts ..you are a predator yourself simply by being on Fab..think about that for a second

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better.

You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't."

It is to a lot of people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better.

You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't.

It is to a lot of people."

I'm sure some people would love to have their arse grabbed in public by strangers, without warning.

We don't do that - because lots of people consider that assault.

Huh. how about that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I never cease to be amazed by the energy men will put info exusing and downplaying predatory male behaviour. Imagine if they put the same amount of energy into calling out misogyny from the male family, peers and colleagues. Just imagine that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I never cease to be amazed by the energy men will put info exusing and downplaying predatory male behaviour. Imagine if they put the same amount of energy into calling out misogyny from the male family, peers and colleagues. Just imagine that."

Soooo much...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall..

Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do!

What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it.

You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance

What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is?

Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it.

A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end.

I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read!

I have not said ever that I cat call..clear?

secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it?

Do you?

thanks

We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better.

You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't.

It is to a lot of people.

I'm sure some people would love to have their arse grabbed in public by strangers, without warning.

We don't do that - because lots of people consider that assault.

Huh. how about that"

But that’s not a wolf whistle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost!

These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them?

I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion .

The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it.

sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/

Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101.

I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one.

There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is.

I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly!

I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up .

You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey").

I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it.

Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters.

It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention...

I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them.

So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?

I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive.

I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe?

Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then.

Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line?

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it "

I don't have an agenda. The point I'm making is that there's a misunderstanding between what was acceptable and what was reluctantly tolerated until some people with guts called it out for what it was. If 'woke' means anything, it's that people have woken up to what was wrong.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit cringey in my opinion but reading from some of the replies here, maybe some women enjoy it as long as it doesn't cross the line.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it "

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bit cringey in my opinion but reading from some of the replies here, maybe some women enjoy it as long as it doesn't cross the line."

Where's the line drawn?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong."

Except for the ones who think otherwise.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Bit cringey in my opinion but reading from some of the replies here, maybe some women enjoy it as long as it doesn't cross the line."

But who decides where the line is and how would you know?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong.

Except for the ones who think otherwise."

Who think otherwise in what sense?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The point I'm making is that there's a misunderstanding between what was acceptable and what was reluctantly tolerated until some people with guts called it out for what it was. If 'woke' means anything, it's that people have woken up to what was wrong."

*Standing ovation*

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong.

Except for the ones who think otherwise.

Who think otherwise in what sense? "

Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong.

Except for the ones who think otherwise.

Who think otherwise in what sense?

Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle."

Yeah, I’ve read the thread, I suggest you read my post where I also explained I don’t hate it nor do I love it.

My post is about a specific persons comments and how nobody seems to agree with his several posts, not about *just* wolf whistling… hope that clears up any confusion.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with a wolf whistle lots of women like it and its always been a thing. A bit of flirting is ok.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"

I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it

The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying.

Dozens of people can’t all be wrong.

Except for the ones who think otherwise.

Who think otherwise in what sense?

Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle.

Yeah, I’ve read the thread, I suggest you read my post where I also explained I don’t hate it nor do I love it.

My post is about a specific persons comments and how nobody seems to agree with his several posts, not about *just* wolf whistling… hope that clears up any confusion. "

No confusion here, but thanks for the heads up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"Nothing wrong with a wolf whistle lots of women like it and its always been a thing. A bit of flirting is ok."

It’s not flirting. Do you know the woman likes it before you do it? Do you know she’s not a schoolgirl/teenager?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing wrong with a wolf whistle lots of women like it and its always been a thing. A bit of flirting is ok."

And what about those who don't like it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never ever done it, it's demeaning I think, along with being harassing for the poor lady

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

The concept of consent is really just completely alien to some people, isn't it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton


"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"

asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist.

I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before..

over to you !

It’s predatory behaviour that’s why.

we are all predators in some way or another though it's our most base if instincts ..you are a predator yourself simply by being on Fab..think about that for a second"

No. Just no. You cannot and will not transfer your thoughts on to my behaviour. That is transference of the lowest order. Me being on fab, is in no way predatory, quite the opposite. I am in a space, with other people, where mutual appreciation and boundaries exist. People can block, and manage their profile right down to interactions they are comfortable with. How is that the same as being cat-called in the street?

Implying that being on here is predatory is to state the women on here are vulnerable, whilst I will concede some people may be vulnerable. Everyone is here through choice and either invites (or does not) attention, context is key.

I will flip this on the head by way of an example, imagine you were a straight guy walking down a street in shorts and a vest (it’s summer), you know you are walking through a completely gay neighbourhood (please don’t get upset, I’m trying to illustrate a point) everyone around you is gay and some are looking at you, some are calling out to you. How do you feel? Intimidated? You will say no, no doubt. Now imagine a group of 6ft+ body builders turn their attention to you. You know you couldn’t over power them. How do you feel now?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The concept of consent is really just completely alien to some people, isn't it. "

So much

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top