FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Worst first message

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good evening you lovely people

My question is what’s the worst message someone has sent you on here ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

(That was it)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi

Literally that! !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ackdaw52Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Fun"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Oi

Literally that! ! "

Oh I had that!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

From a guy on a couples profile saying "I'm really sorry but I want to suck a dick"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question "

Just that ? Not ask if they can ask a question at the beginning of the message then ask it in the same message?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oi

Literally that! ! "

Nobody is ever gonna respond to that lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hi

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Are you dressed

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli


"Oi

Literally that! ! "

Isn't it custom to say Oi Oi savaloy back

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

This one makes me laugh

Hi gorgeous do you want me inside you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt


"Good evening you lovely people

My question is what’s the worst message someone has sent you on here ?

"

Good evening OP

1st place goes to a guy that asked if I'm into extreme deep throat until I puke thick vomit then asks me to not be offended by it.

2nd place goes to a guy that asked do I want to meet the guys tonight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Alright mate, d you want your back doors smashed in?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *adistic_visionMan
over a year ago

bolsover

I had a cracker just tonight that said

Now

My answer ..is the winter of our discontent

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"This one makes me laugh

Hi gorgeous do you want me inside you "

My response iv eaten

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Alright mate, d you want your back doors smashed in?"

A keeper

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone

Can I ask a question?

You okay?

Want sex now?

Fancy BBC?

…..I love the last one because I just say I don’t have a TV license so only watch YouTube.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you come and make me pregnant? And not even an hello first.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your address

Truth

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’ "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"Alright mate, d you want your back doors smashed in?

A keeper "

Yeah we're engaged now...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Alright mate, d you want your back doors smashed in?

A keeper

Yeah we're engaged now... "

Lucky

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’ "

You said that was one of the best messages you'd ever had!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’

"

I know

Mind you, I probably let myself in for it as the said request followed a joking thread I put up about smegma

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’

I know

Mind you, I probably let myself in for it as the said request followed a joking thread I put up about smegma "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"‘Do you have any smegma I can lick from your cock?’

You said that was one of the best messages you'd ever had!

"

It was. Only trouble was I’d just washed the old chap and was bereft of the good stuff

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

Can I cum on your feet

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been seeing a fair few threads lately about what to put in messages, what sort of messages to send with some even pasting contents of messages into threads despite it being against site rules to do so.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you up too is a favourite one. I usually respond that I’m washing my hair.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a bad mood so sent

Hope you die of syphilis you fat ugly twat.., I think I had a x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I make you pregnant?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question

Just that ? Not ask if they can ask a question at the beginning of the message then ask it in the same message? "

Nope, just that “can I ask you a question”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

I had a guy message me recently saying he would love to be sucked but was at work and had a sweaty cock. I almost puked.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Either someone sincerely asking if I would castrate them or the one time someone used the fact that they had cancer to get me to sleep with them. Fab certainly attracts a whole spectrum of personalities...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West


"I had a cracker just tonight that said

Now

My answer ..is the winter of our discontent "

Brilliant work!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you come and make me pregnant? And not even an hello first. "

What’s wrong with that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question

Just that ? Not ask if they can ask a question at the beginning of the message then ask it in the same message?

Nope, just that “can I ask you a question” "

Nobody’s gonna reply to that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Can I ask you a question "

I get these all the time! And the copy and paste messages!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oi

Literally that! !

Nobody is ever gonna respond to that lol "

Yes with another oi

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you come and make me pregnant? And not even an hello first.

What’s wrong with that? "

She didn't say hello first.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

hru

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and i also received

'Shit on my face'

Not sure what's worse... oi or that!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Can I ask you a question "

HATE that

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask you a question

HATE that "

Ive actually written that into my profile lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

One was an essay and went into great detail about how he wanted to take me to a place and have various other men use me, humiliate me, and at the end he said he basically wanted to r&pe me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

Another corker -

Can I eat your used condoms while you humiliate me in front of my mates?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"You're coming to mine for a good hard fucking!"

I can assure you sir, I am not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

Would i burst a balloon on his cock as he came?

Eugh - nope!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one last night just said.

.

.upto?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

Any of:

Hi lolz

Wanna fux

Sent friend request

Can I ask a question

Horny now?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would i burst a balloon on his cock as he came?

Eugh - nope!!!"

Lol this actually sounds like one of those kinks I find weirdly sweet and harmless. Wonder if I could keep a straight face whilst doing it though

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I have to smile sometimes when people hit the question mark key instead of the exclamation mark; so for instance ‘you’re hot???’ Well am I or aren’t I? Apart from that I weary of being asked to pretend to be some guy’s mum.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to smile sometimes when people hit the question mark key instead of the exclamation mark; so for instance ‘you’re hot???’ Well am I or aren’t I? Apart from that I weary of being asked to pretend to be some guy’s mum. "

Sometimes the double question mark thing is when someone uses an emoji on their phone that the site does recognise so it converts it to “??” instead.

In other news, without wishing to break the dirty laundry/publishing details of PM rules all I can say is that we have a new contender for the worst first message tonight who out of the blue and on their first message to me calmly and in their own way questioned the validity of certain parts of my upper body (hopefully that is within the rules, no specifics mentioned) Nice

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got pics.

No Hi, no Hello.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wife’s upstairs sleeping dosent know I am on here but horny fancy come over and suck my cock

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question? Just ask it already, don't need permission

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *azkinsWoman
over a year ago

leeds

Can I ask you a question?. My reply " you just did". Or I'm in Leeds. Yeah and?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Can you forward your phone number?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone


"Can I ask you a question

HATE that

Ive actually written that into my profile lol"

We’ve tried putting that and similar in the profile but you still get the questions.

By the way, are you really that tall?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nkforthekinkMan
over a year ago

london/fareham/brighton

Can I pay you to worship your feet from someone of the same sex

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to come for a gangbang right now

Will you come pee in my car

My favourites are the ones who put their phone number as the message title and then just say call me for phone sex now.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *orny-chubbyMan
over a year ago

East London

I had a chap that all he kept saying was “hi” “ hey, yo!

Blocked him in the end

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

Message from a couple "desperately looking for a woman/couple" (from their status update). Title of the message "hey hey x", body of the message: "hey". When we replied with "hello", we got nothing back . What did they expect, an essay?

We do get "can I ask you a question" quite regularly, too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

From a Bi lady in FF couple, she is allowed to play with Men but she’s only allowed to peg them....... Hard. Wanna play

That’s was all she wrote

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cat's died, can I play with your pussy

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I don't match what your looking for but I thought id message anyway.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *enland doggersCouple
over a year ago

PE12 / PE13

Lots covered above but I really hate ‘wuu2’.

I assume they are that lazy at everything!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Can I ask you a question "

You just did!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

more boring than anything but usually along the lines of

"i would love to come and ruin her holes"

r&s

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst message I had ones also the best message I had, cause I couldn’t stop laughing, the title was a single letter and the message was a single letter, I’ll give her due though, they were different letters, at least she was mixing it up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"The worst message I had ones also the best message I had, cause I couldn’t stop laughing, the title was a single letter and the message was a single letter, I’ll give her due though, they were different letters, at least she was mixing it up. "

Not sure if I'm the only one, but I'm highly curious as to what these letters were. The suspension is agony.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Something along the lines of "fancy a fuck and some sniff?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Implying that they know who I am and that they'll tell my boss I'm here.

Never the right first name.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"are you a guy?"

"No reply. Definitely a bloke"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ew slutty cdTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

Mines was

You dressed? Send address?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

What’s a TV/TS version (actually they wrote Tranny) of a MILF …as you’re one. Still trying to work out if I should be flattered or insulted

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fresh update from yesterday evening.

I got a message with just ‘X’ was that a kiss or X marking the spot? Does that mean I’m in their hit-list? I better start hiding

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oingMan
over a year ago

co. antrim

No one ever responds to my bank details introductory message.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *orny-chubbyMan
over a year ago

East London

Yo!

Literally that’s all!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"No one ever responds to my bank details introductory message."

...really?? Have you tried all of us?!?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Twice now been messaged out the blue to accuse of lying about my age despite none of my public photos showing face not sure how that works haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"Twice now been messaged out the blue to accuse of lying about my age despite none of my public photos showing face not sure how that works haha"

...well that's a good excuse to perv on your profile

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What lube should I bring for anal with you?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter "

Don't...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *xLucyxx94TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds

Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

"I fucked you at Northwich last week,will you verify me?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I’m so glad i haven’t come across any of these yet.

What an eye opener.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford


"Can I ask you a question "

This is the WORST.

I’ll take the offers of payment or requests to shit on them over “Can I ask you a question?” any day!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx"

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle


"Twice now been messaged out the blue to accuse of lying about my age despite none of my public photos showing face not sure how that works haha

...well that's a good excuse to perv on your profile "

Haha that’s a far better way of putting it

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter

Don't... "

What? Why? It’s a sure fire winner

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *xLucyxx94TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx"

He sure is. I did find it very funny considering his profile pic is just a dick pic xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

"Do you like cocaine? I have Pringles if not"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx

He sure is. I did find it very funny considering his profile pic is just a dick pic xxx"

What did you reply? If you did...If you haven’t and you still can, how about:

“Hi dickchops,

Im not into you, I’ve looked at your pictures and they’re downright wrong.

Yours aren’t great. Lose any pictures of your cock. (Although it might looked better if you dressed it up in a white dress and blonde wig). Anyway, at least it does you justice in that you’re a prick. Its only my opinion after all but I think you probably can’t do any better.“

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *illie99TV/TS
over a year ago

Central Scotland

Had a few but the one that comes to mind was the single line

"I fuck trannies"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No words Just a gaping asshole picture

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Today’s gem is…I’d love to feed you cake all day till you uncontrollably shit yourself. Followed up with … in tights.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter

Don't...

What? Why? It’s a sure fire winner "

This would get me into your bed definitely

As long as yours weren't beef. Urghh..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"Today’s gem is…I’d love to feed you cake all day till you uncontrollably shit yourself. Followed up with … in tights. "

But could you choose which cake?

I've got a massive craving for ginger cake right now...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"Can I ask you a question

Just that ? Not ask if they can ask a question at the beginning of the message then ask it in the same message?

Nope, just that “can I ask you a question” "

That is such a common one isn't it.. Why do they bother?? X

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford


"Today’s gem is…I’d love to feed you cake all day till you uncontrollably shit yourself. Followed up with … in tights.

But could you choose which cake?

I've got a massive craving for ginger cake right now... "

Ginger cake this time of night!!! Oh the heart burn. A bit of cherry and coconut with me brew before bed because I’m Rock n roll

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *xLucyxx94TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx

He sure is. I did find it very funny considering his profile pic is just a dick pic xxx

What did you reply? If you did...If you haven’t and you still can, how about:

“Hi dickchops,

Im not into you, I’ve looked at your pictures and they’re downright wrong.

Yours aren’t great. Lose any pictures of your cock. (Although it might looked better if you dressed it up in a white dress and blonde wig). Anyway, at least it does you justice in that you’re a prick. Its only my opinion after all but I think you probably can’t do any better.“"

Told him politely to shove his opinion us his arse then got back Hahahahaha.

Sorry if I offended you but you do still look like a geezer in a wig

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter

Don't...

What? Why? It’s a sure fire winner

This would get me into your bed definitely

As long as yours weren't beef. Urghh.. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"What’s your favourite flavour crisps is a belter

Don't...

What? Why? It’s a sure fire winner

This would get me into your bed definitely

As long as yours weren't beef. Urghh..

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"Today’s gem is…I’d love to feed you cake all day till you uncontrollably shit yourself. Followed up with … in tights.

But could you choose which cake?

I've got a massive craving for ginger cake right now...

Ginger cake this time of night!!! Oh the heart burn. A bit of cherry and coconut with me brew before bed because I’m Rock n roll"

I love cherry anything...

I've just had a packet of rainbow drops....

I've now cleaned my teeth so the mouth is closed for the night lol

It's been pretty busy today...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *xLucyxx94TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx

He sure is. I did find it very funny considering his profile pic is just a dick pic xxx

What did you reply? If you did...If you haven’t and you still can, how about:

“Hi dickchops,

Im not into you, I’ve looked at your pictures and they’re downright wrong.

Yours aren’t great. Lose any pictures of your cock. (Although it might looked better if you dressed it up in a white dress and blonde wig). Anyway, at least it does you justice in that you’re a prick. Its only my opinion after all but I think you probably can’t do any better.“"

I did reply and might have sent him another with what you said lol still wetting myself from dickchops xxxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I've had this gem from someone 30 miles away:

You drive lad? birds away.. mad horny. Straight but get curious so need 10000% trust. Wanna suck a cock tbf.. easier in dark park up cover face I’ll suck swalow go. Would pay tbf

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are

My personal favourite "do you still get periods"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" These are

My personal favourite "do you still get periods" "

WTF? Seriously?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *lle82Woman
over a year ago

Ashford


"Hi gorgeous.

I'm well into tv/ts and seen many pictures that look great or just down right wrong.

Yours are great but lose the picture of you in the white dress, blond wig, looking sideways with the phone in your hand. It doesn't do you justice at all. Its only my opinion after all but I think you can do better than that, and you have. Very sexy.

Surely this has to be up there from a guy a few hours ago xx

Wow. The person that said that is an absolute wanker. Xx

He sure is. I did find it very funny considering his profile pic is just a dick pic xxx

What did you reply? If you did...If you haven’t and you still can, how about:

“Hi dickchops,

Im not into you, I’ve looked at your pictures and they’re downright wrong.

Yours aren’t great. Lose any pictures of your cock. (Although it might looked better if you dressed it up in a white dress and blonde wig). Anyway, at least it does you justice in that you’re a prick. Its only my opinion after all but I think you probably can’t do any better.“

I did reply and might have sent him another with what you said lol still wetting myself from dickchops xxxxx"

Good on ya! Xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" These are

My personal favourite "do you still get periods"

WTF? Seriously? "

Yeah, still puzzling what he was on about. I think loads on here are much more WTF tho.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just Now..."You're up late, what are you doing"

Like mind your own business...do you honestly expect me to answer that...FFS ha

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just Now..."You're up late, what are you doing"

Like mind your own business...do you honestly expect me to answer that...FFS ha"

Lol no way someone actually messaged that! What a dweeb

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just Now..."You're up late, what are you doing"

Like mind your own business...do you honestly expect me to answer that...FFS ha"

That's unbelievable! Must be awful, having someone make a fairly mundane observation then ask you a question!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just Now..."You're up late, what are you doing"

Like mind your own business...do you honestly expect me to answer that...FFS ha

That's unbelievable! Must be awful, having someone make a fairly mundane observation then ask you a question! "

Yup it screams Borrrrrrring & Nosey...not even a high at start of 1st msg... A "mundane observation" most definitely more like a statement tbh...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just Now..."You're up late, what are you doing"

Like mind your own business...do you honestly expect me to answer that...FFS ha

That's unbelievable! Must be awful, having someone make a fairly mundane observation then ask you a question!

Yup it screams Borrrrrrring & Nosey...not even a high at start of 1st msg... A "mundane observation" most definitely more like a statement tbh..."

*"Hi"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would someone right a rabbie burns poem, then get ignored. People can only run when they can already walk. If hi gets ignored then let’s not perform a monologue

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

I think I must be to easy going, bad first messages don't bother me.

Although the strangest one I got just read "plop".

Auto spell at it's best I'm guessing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *omnvixCouple
over a year ago

Gtr Manchester

I guess the Top 3 are:

"?" - just that. One question mark

"R u on pill?"

"Fuk?"

And these senders wonder why they never get any fun! lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ilverSwordMan
over a year ago

Belfast-ish

Would I get paid 50 for feet worship

Not even a hello

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good evening you lovely people

My question is what’s the worst message someone has sent you on here ?

Good evening OP

1st place goes to a guy that asked if I'm into extreme deep throat until I puke thick vomit then asks me to not be offended by it.

2nd place goes to a guy that asked do I want to meet the guys tonight "

The first one we have had three times and he really is not a footballer bless him but if that’s how he gets his kicks then all power to his elbow!!!!

T

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Do you take it up the arse on a first date?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

X

Just had that as a first message!

Mike

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just had:

Do you accept spunk deposits?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oingMan
over a year ago

co. antrim


"No one ever responds to my bank details introductory message.

...really?? Have you tried all of us?!? "

I tried but filters stopped me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never been with a ginger before - do your pubes glow in the dark?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

' U Hard '

Was one i got yesterday...lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good evening you lovely people

My question is what’s the worst message someone has sent you on here ?

"

I wouldn’t know

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I tongue punch your fart box

Years ago now it made me feel sick but also made me laugh

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *l MateMan
over a year ago

Sheffield Centre

U hung?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *idsCouple1Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth

‘I can cum on demand.. don’t tell me to cum or you might get pregnant’

Exfuckingscuse me hun? For starters, when did we jump to you being inside me?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Can I tongue punch your fart box

Years ago now it made me feel sick but also made me laugh"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"I want to cum on your back"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi

Wuupt

Fancy meeting now

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


""I want to cum on your back""

When?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got Covid and hiv positive…..love bareback!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just got sent this again:

sneak in my pub shed while my lass is asleep, wearing a little skirt no knickers find me inside waiting for you. Say nothing but drop to Ur knees and suck me better than she ever dose them bend over to show me ur wet little pussy. I'll be throbbing n won't be able to resist sliding into you...ur pussy wrapped tight round my cock till I can't take anymore. How do u want me to finish?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We just got sent this again:

sneak in my pub shed while my lass is asleep, wearing a little skirt no knickers find me inside waiting for you. Say nothing but drop to Ur knees and suck me better than she ever dose them bend over to show me ur wet little pussy. I'll be throbbing n won't be able to resist sliding into you...ur pussy wrapped tight round my cock till I can't take anymore. How do u want me to finish?"

…With a baby Guinness and a big smile

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How big are you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He threatened to stab me to death, as thought I was the mother of his child.

Then he apologised for mistaking me for her. Like that was the issue

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"He threatened to stab me to death, as thought I was the mother of his child.

Then he apologised for mistaking me for her. Like that was the issue "

Omg

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He threatened to stab me to death, as thought I was the mother of his child.

Then he apologised for mistaking me for her. Like that was the issue "

wtaf!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Can I ask you a question "

Maybe reply "You just did'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“ Into risky fun?....sneak in my pub shed while my lass is asleep, wearing a little skirt no knickers find me inside waiting for you. Say nothing but drop to Ur knees and suck me better than she ever dose them bend over to show me ur wet little pussy. I'll be throbbing n won't be able to resist sliding into you...ur pussy wrapped tight round my cock till I can't take anymore. How do u want me to finish?”

Copy and pasted and sent weekly until we blocked him

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve got Covid and hiv positive…..love bareback!

"
jeez

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got the following last week...

"Who says your handsome? I beg to differ."

Guess where that message ended up.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I got the following last week...

"Who says your handsome? I beg to differ."

Guess where that message ended up."

You sent it to

Boris Johnson

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who come onto you trying to sell you their 8 inchers... it’s an Instant turn off!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *untocum1000TV/TS
over a year ago

newmarket

Worst opening gambit ive had ..."can i wank you off in a toilet "....

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I got a “ not bad for an old bird “ today , it always makes me feel appreciated and cheers me up no end

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not too bad at first messages. I just bore people once they talk to me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was not impressed with the guy who suggested I should have an OF account.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Someone said hi, would you like coffee and a Jaffa cake.

I almost heaved at the thought

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I’m on a roll “ I bet you used to be fit”

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *uxuriantCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall

“I wanna fuck you in the throat until you puke” . Instant block..

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine, someone went on a rant at me, we didn’t get in after that.

I like the guys who message assuming I need them to perform oral sex in some way to me… they’re up there as a bad move with me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

U ok?

Literally 5 keystrokes, including the space, not even worth spelling the word ‘you’ let alone prefixing it with ‘Are’! I should have been thankful for a question mark at least I suppose.

The temptation to respond with a lengthy diatribe on how the clear lack of effort or interest in opening any sort of worthwhile communication made even those puerile efforts pointless, was huge!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you do anal felching

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/10/21 16:20:44]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you do anal felching "

Dare I ask what it is?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the worst - but it also made me laugh - was ‘I’d eat your pussy like a tramp eating chips!’

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a message that just said “face?”

To which I replied “yes have face, do you have face?”

Made me laugh it was so bad

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Why would someone right a rabbie burns poem, then get ignored. People can only run when they can already walk. If hi gets ignored then let’s not perform a monologue "

If 'hi' gets ignored, cut the effort down and just send a 'h'

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Il let you know if I ever receive a first message

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's your address

Truth "

I had this too...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Son... is that you?"

(That'd be a bad 1st message hahaha)

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ob08Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield


"What's your address

Truth

I had this too... "

Maybe they were doing a geographical survey.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure it's the worst, but I had one that was something like

"Your hair looks like it was done by a child".

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one that asked what would I do if I was d*unk and my family were shrunk to an inch in my glass.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Had one that asked what would I do if I was d*unk and my family were shrunk to an inch in my glass.

"

Sorry this thread is for worst messages, not best

God what would I do? That’s quite the predicament

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would Jeni like to sit on this….

Followed by what looked like a extra thin well out of our age range cock peeking out a bed of unkept grey under growth!!

Yuk!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure it's the worst, but I had one that was something like

"Your hair looks like it was done by a child"."

That could be a compliment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top