FabSwingers.com forum: Bent out of shape about women they wouldn’t look twice at anyway.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

See this a lot on here. Guy will moan about not having any luck. Guy will say he’s messaged loads of women and been ignored. Guy then says something along the lines of these women wouldn’t even get a second glance in the real world.

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, it’s brilliant isn’t it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They decided they're unattractive when they've been rejected/ignored by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for articulating my thoughts. Ive seen a lot of these threads lately and wondered what the deal was with people not understanding preference and own sex life autonomy.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

I'd intentionally seek out not anyone I'd consider unatteactive, but the girls that never really got much attention from guys because they were not what would be considered the "attractive" girls, in the hope that I'd be in with a bit more of a chance.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So it’s a bit like a lion going for the disabled antelope in the group in the hope that it’s an easier meal?

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By *endydick.CumbersnatchMan
over a year ago

If you ignore the couples, most dating sites have a 80:20 split of men to women. Fab is probably even more cock heavy on singles or those who'll meet outside of their partners.

Simply put, women hit rate on men is way higher than men's hit rate on women. If a woman goes fishing for a cock, she can take her pick of pricks and punch well above their own high street league because any man on here with a chance of a bite will jump at it. A woman can put our 10 PM's and will get 8 replies because 2 of them will be offline or broke their phones. The number of opportunities given to men from women means that for any missed opportunity, they've no idea when the next one will come along. Settle for a woman you'd pass in the street or wait 30 yrs for that perfect connection and by then be too old to perform anyway??

Flip it. If a man goes fishing for a fuck, they have to out compete every other PM flying into a womans inbox. If a bloke send out 10 PM's, the 10 women he sends them to likely have another 9 PM's from others already, each! She can flick through the 10 profiles and take her pick, again, she has the power again. If a woman rejects your approach, it's not like she'll be hanging around, waiting for the next profile view or email that might not come for days.....weeks.....months...... She'll be safe knowing the next time she logs in, there will be something waiting for her.

If a man wants to get laid, he'd probably have to send out over 100 PM's for any single PM a women sends out. That's just to get a profile view, not even a reply or invite.

It's a numbers game. Women literally can pick a prick at this point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their attractiveness is based on their ability to say yes like a broken doll.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I think it's hilarious.....

They don't read your profile that says youre not into guys anyway yet they message, send you a dick pic and then when they don't get a reply they carry on and on if you've not messaged in 3 minutes.

Then when you tell them your not interested as your filters are only down for a forum game you're a slag, ugly, nobody would touch you anyway and you look like a man......well duh I am a man you fuckwit

I feel bad for women who do actually want to meet men and there are some good ones out there too but having to put up with these utter bellends really must make you wonder why women bother sometimes.

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By *amesRobs1987Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Was literally just saying this to someone. It's hard work as a man on here to get replies, but I wouldn't trade it for the absolute rivers of shit you women must have to travel through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll be brutally honest.

Those who say that are just bitter and have no standards, they’ve messaged women they wouldn’t normally go for and she’s rejected them so they’ve turned to “I wouldn’t look at you twice anyway”.

It’s classic rejection retort.

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By *amesRobs1987Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"If you ignore the couples, most dating sites have a 80:20 split of men to women. Fab is probably even more cock heavy on singles or those who'll meet outside of their partners.

If a man wants to get laid, he'd probably have to send out over 100 PM's for any single PM a women sends out. That's just to get a profile view, not even a reply or invite.

It's a numbers game. Women literally can pick a prick at this point. "

No one's disputing it's hard for men, but that doesn't justify replying with 'Wouldnt look at you twice anyway', does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour."

That’s so horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a classic case of not being able to take rejection. Some can, some cant unfortunately. Must be a bit sh1t to be like that really.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

They're probably frustrated, disheartened and sad that no one on here wants to meet them.

Men have feelings too.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"See this a lot on here. Guy will moan about not having any luck. Guy will say he’s messaged loads of women and been ignored. Guy then says something along the lines of these women wouldn’t even get a second glance in the real world.

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?"

I believe in equal opportunities, I’ll get rejected/ignored by anyone!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you ignore the couples, most dating sites have a 80:20 split of men to women. Fab is probably even more cock heavy on singles or those who'll meet outside of their partners.

If a man wants to get laid, he'd probably have to send out over 100 PM's for any single PM a women sends out. That's just to get a profile view, not even a reply or invite.

It's a numbers game. Women literally can pick a prick at this point. "

This is so depressing

Honestly, a lot of us don't do this and to think most men do is actually quite sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I genuinely don't get the excuse that there's more men on here than women. People saying this clearly don't get how a woman's mind works:

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone rejects people though. You can’t say theyre reacting badly because they don’t know how to cope with rejection because in the same situation they would reject someone else. If someone is comfortable with them self, when they are rejected likely they just move on. When someone is insecure or not happy with them self i’d say they’re more likely to lash out when rejected.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Unfortunately it is the whole entitlement issue..

"I've messaged, I am entitled to an answer me"

"I am on a swingers site. I am entitled to sex, you will give me sex"

"I am on a swibgers site. I am can send dick pics, you will fawn at my feet and call me god!"

It's harsh, I know. Not all guys are this stereo typical, but I am sorry to say the vast majority are....

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

I'm not proud of it, it is not something I'd ever even consider doing now having learned and matured from it. But it is a part of what made me who I am now, and not to brag but I know a large number of people that would say I'm a pretty great guy (also the same amount of people would say I'm a prick too).

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"I genuinely don't get the excuse that there's more men on here than women. People saying this clearly don't get how a woman's mind works:

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't. "

Whilst I’m not agreeing with the OP, I can see his point. And I would reluctantly disagree your point about you not getting the excuse that there’s more men than women.

I’ve had conversations with people who I’ve met, but cause of the influx of 100’s of horny males messaging her, my messages have gone unread. So numbers of men does actually affect a conversation. I

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"They're probably frustrated, disheartened and sad that no one on here wants to meet them.

Men have feelings too."

They do..it saddens me when I see a post asking what's wrong it me? Am I so unattractive? Etc....

I bet it can really knock someone's confidence.

But...to be an arse hole about rejection, I think is really bad form.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

There is a direct correlation between person’s attractiveness and their willingness to let someone play with their bits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rather be told than ignored then u know where u stand

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"There is a direct correlation between person’s attractiveness and their willingness to let someone play with their bits."

I am not sure that's true! Noone would mistake me for a beauty but i still have standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

You do know EVERYONE gets rejected, in their life, right? It's a shitty excuse to behave in a shitty manor, then blame who you are being shitty to, when they weren't being shitty to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I genuinely don't get the excuse that there's more men on here than women. People saying this clearly don't get how a woman's mind works:

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't.

Whilst I’m not agreeing with the OP, I can see his point. And I would reluctantly disagree your point about you not getting the excuse that there’s more men than women.

I'm talking about after the message is read. If you don't get a reply or get no thanks back don't assume that it's always because we have our pick of the guys. We simply don't want to sleep with you.

Just because I reject men doesn't mean I have 20 other hot guys fawning at my feet. It means I have enough self respect to not sleep with someone I'm not attracted to or wouldn't get on with by the looks of their profile/messages.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

You do know EVERYONE gets rejected, in their life, right? It's a shitty excuse to behave in a shitty manor, then blame who you are being shitty to, when they weren't being shitty to you. "

Take your lecture somewhere else and don't talk to me with the tone that your attitude is clearly putting across.

I know full well the extent of factors surrounding what I did. Shockingly I don't need you to tell me.

I'm not shying away from them, I owned up to the behaviour, and I matured from it. Which is a hell of a lot more than the majority of people do.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't.

In that case then I agree with what you’re saying lol

I was just replying to your comment about it not mattering how many men are on here.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour."

Many of us have changed our reactions and attitudes as we mature.

I know that I have evolved in lots of ways x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?"

Ha, the old fab moped syndrome, rears it’s head again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

weve actualy found men on here are way better than they were, most read our profile and dont message, of course we still get the odd idiot but thankfully not many, unlike a few years ago we would get hundreds a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the issue on fab which differs from the vanilla world as a whole is that the vast majority of men lower their standards on fab. So these ripped Adonis type men who could more than likely date supermodels are settling for lower rated scale women in terms of physical attractiveness to guarantee a shag. This in turn makes women raise their standards and in some cases have delusions of grandeur after finding that they can get with these types of guys.

So the point of being told no one would look at you twice would have some truth to it in the “outside” world, albeit a completely dick comment as that person is just butt hurt from rejection.

Physical attraction isn’t the be all and end all for us. Yes we have parameters of the type of people we meet. However we have found that those 9-10 rated men and women severely lack in the bedroom skill department so would much rather your average numbers that is normally backed up by great sex!

This is just our thoughts and not a personal attack at anyone xx

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"I think the issue on fab which differs from the vanilla world as a whole is that the vast majority of men lower their standards on fab. So these ripped Adonis type men who could more than likely date supermodels are settling for lower rated scale women in terms of physical attractiveness to guarantee a shag. This in turn makes women raise their standards and in some cases have delusions of grandeur after finding that they can get with these types of guys.

So the point of being told no one would look at you twice would have some truth to it in the “outside” world, albeit a completely dick comment as that person is just butt hurt from rejection.

This is just our thoughts and not a personal attack at anyone xx"

Perfect!!!

I’m guilty of this. In the real world, I’m so ugly that I once had a girl meet me on a date, take one look at me and told security to keep me away from her.

Ion fab I’ve been called handsome, gorgeous, and even had a woman offer to pay to meet me!!! And all of that today alone!!!

This fab world is mad.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

When you say no

You suddenly become a slag anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing more fragile than the white male ego.

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"When you say no

You suddenly become a slag anyway

This is soo my favourite bit..I use these message as a scale. The nastier the messege the more gutted they are..

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"When you say no

You suddenly become a slag anyway

This is soo my favourite bit..I use these message as a scale. The nastier the messege the more gutted they are..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

But constant rejection would be from different people so why take out what different people are doing on others?

Rejection is a part of life we will all go through it, some more than others, most of the time it isn’t personal, no doubt it can be hurtful but you can’t force someone to like or sleep with you.

I don’t think there’s any justification for it. If more people accepted that you’ll be rejected at some point in your life the world would be a better place.

Can you imagine sending a snooty abusive email to every company who rejected your job application? “I didn’t want this job anyway, plenty better paid jones out there” or similar. It would be strange.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

So the point of being told no one would look at you twice would have some truth to it in the “outside” world, albeit a completely dick comment as that person is just butt hurt from rejection.

This is just our thoughts and not a personal attack at anyone xx"

Not in every case, I very rarely believe the 'ripped adonis' is messaging me because they're actually interested in me, no delusions of grandeur here.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"So it’s a bit like a lion going for the disabled antelope in the group in the hope that it’s an easier meal? "

I'm not sure if it's that or also a bit of "you don't look at the flame while poking the fire" or however the saying goes. They don't see a whole person when they just want a shag, they see a shag. Might be half decent, might be a bit crap, but what "it" is, is a means to an end, a ball emptier. When "it" has the cheek to say no because "it" is an actual human who also has her own preferences and desires, wants and boundaries.. oh my gawd, who rattled her cage?!

*growl*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the point of being told no one would look at you twice would have some truth to it in the “outside” world, albeit a completely dick comment as that person is just butt hurt from rejection.

This is just our thoughts and not a personal attack at anyone xx

Not in every case, I very rarely believe the 'ripped adonis' is messaging me because they're actually interested in me, no delusions of grandeur here."

No I get that. Hence I why I said in some cases. You can generally tell by someone’s profile content whether that’s the case or not lol x

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

But constant rejection would be from different people so why take out what different people are doing on others?

Rejection is a part of life we will all go through it, some more than others, most of the time it isn’t personal, no doubt it can be hurtful but you can’t force someone to like or sleep with you.

I don’t think there’s any justification for it. If more people accepted that you’ll be rejected at some point in your life the world would be a better place.

This is the final thing I'm going to say on this, so any response to it won't be seen by me.

Not once did I say anything abusive or directly hurtful to anyone. When I was rejected, I'd then go away and to myself, in my own head think if I was actually attracted to her or not.

I didn't respond to them with insults or a rejection of my own. But yes I did internally try to justify and soften the blow of rejection with my own questioning of if I did actually find them attractive or not. I did not throw the rejection back in their face, or share a laugh with friends about it.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

But constant rejection would be from different people so why take out what different people are doing on others?

Rejection is a part of life we will all go through it, some more than others, most of the time it isn’t personal, no doubt it can be hurtful but you can’t force someone to like or sleep with you.

I don’t think there’s any justification for it. If more people accepted that you’ll be rejected at some point in your life the world would be a better place.

This is the final thing I'm going to say on this, so any response to it won't be seen by me.

Not once did I say anything abusive or directly hurtful to anyone. When I was rejected, I'd then go away and to myself, in my own head think if I was actually attracted to her or not.

No offence bud, I’ve heard some nice things said about you, but please stop replying! You’re digging a bigger hole by responding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

You do know EVERYONE gets rejected, in their life, right? It's a shitty excuse to behave in a shitty manor, then blame who you are being shitty to, when they weren't being shitty to you.

Take your lecture somewhere else and don't talk to me with the tone that your attitude is clearly putting across.

I know full well the extent of factors surrounding what I did. Shockingly I don't need you to tell me.

I'm not shying away from them, I owned up to the behaviour, and I matured from it. Which is a hell of a lot more than the majority of people do. "

I'm glad and did think about this (as you had mentioned it) before I posted but I am guessing you aren't the only one that behaves this way and for those reasons, spnot solely aimed at you... I apologise for not being arsed to put this before posting, originally

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I genuinely don't get the excuse that there's more men on here than women. People saying this clearly don't get how a woman's mind works:

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't.

Whilst I’m not agreeing with the OP, I can see his point. And I would reluctantly disagree your point about you not getting the excuse that there’s more men than women.

Hey the OP is me and I’m a she!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

From what I’ve seen on here, often men seem to go for girls they think will say yes. It often seems to be fatter girls or older ladies because they assume that no one wants them because they don’t really find older ladies or bigger girls all that attractive, so they assume others don’t too so they can’t afford to be picky. These are the real deadbeats. Anyone decent wouldn't even entertain thoughts like that. But these are the guys that are awful when you reject them because they think they’re better than you.

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By *r-OreoMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"So it’s a bit like a lion going for the disabled antelope in the group in the hope that it’s an easier meal? "
Haha

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By *r-OreoMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?"

You're right alot of guys do this but I dont do it. Why lower your standards just for sex.

Guys go for ugly girls coz it's easy sex

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By *r-OreoMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"From what I’ve seen on here, often men seem to go for girls they think will say yes. It often seems to be fatter girls or older ladies because they assume that no one wants them because they don’t really find older ladies or bigger girls all that attractive, so they assume others don’t too so they can’t afford to be picky. These are the real deadbeats. Anyone decent wouldn't even entertain thoughts like that. But these are the guys that are awful when you reject them because they think they’re better than you. "

Sadly you're right.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"I genuinely don't get the excuse that there's more men on here than women. People saying this clearly don't get how a woman's mind works:

It doesn't matter if there's 10 other men on here or 10,000. If a women doesn't want to sleep with you, she just won't.

Whilst I’m not agreeing with the OP, I can see his point. And I would reluctantly disagree your point about you not getting the excuse that there’s more men than women.

Hey the OP is me and I’m a she!"

Haha I’m sorry!!! I’ve been replying to a few threads and got mixed up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour."

That's remarkably honest and probably hits the nail on the head as to why this sort of thing happens.

Like you say, its immature.

In my opinion, guys who are acting like that on fab need to take a break and grow up before coming back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?

You're right alot of guys do this but I dont do it. Why lower your standards just for sex.

Guys go for ugly girls coz it's easy sex "

Not on here!

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

I've typed a reply to this a million times and I can't think of how to get across what I actually think and feel appropriately.

But long reply short.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you deem people 'below you' based on how pleasing their physical appearance is to you then you know what, you can get in the sea.

Someone's physical appearance, {be that beauty, 'fitness' levels (I also hate the term gym fit. This body is in the gym lifting weights 3/4 times a week and I'm still fat) or hair colour} doesn't determine who they find attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we rejoined a few weeks ago we got messages, friend requests and winks before I had uploaded a photo, typed a word into the profile or even filled in interests.

Hey I love your profile let's chat or wow you're gorgeous type messages mostly.

There was nothing on the profile for them to like.

And people got offended when we politely declined. And legit angry. Who the fuck are you to reject me type angry.

I realised then that some of these people are using fab as a place to put their anger. They are not actually angry at our profile or at the women here. They are angry at the world, at women in general and this is the place they have found to put that anger. Here is where they get to lash out and make others feel the way they feel inside.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"I've typed a reply to this a million times and I can't think of how to get across what I actually think and feel appropriately.

But long reply short.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you deem people 'below you' based on how pleasing their physical appearance is to you then you know what, you can get in the sea.

I deem every single person ‘above me’ not below me. Leaves me open to be walked over but I’d still place any woman on a pedestal x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we rejoined a few weeks ago we got messages, friend requests and winks before I had uploaded a photo, typed a word into the profile or even filled in interests.

Hey I love your profile let's chat or wow you're gorgeous type messages mostly.

There was nothing on the profile for them to like.

And people got offended when we politely declined. And legit angry. Who the fuck are you to reject me type angry.

Bloody hell, that's a depressing (and sadly probably true) view of a segment of humanity.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I've typed a reply to this a million times and I can't think of how to get across what I actually think and feel appropriately.

But long reply short.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you deem people 'below you' based on how pleasing their physical appearance is to you then you know what, you can get in the sea.

Exactly. Just because a fella is gym fit and hitting on an older lass or a fatter lass does not automatically mean they are making do.

Some folk actually like a bit of variety.

If someone gets bent out of shape because someone has said no to them then that is down to them - why does it have to be about the person and their attractiveness that he was messaging?

If you can’t take a no you can’t take a no. That should stand whether it was from a beauty or not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab? "

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

My experience on fab over the 11 years I’ve been here has been rather pleasant and successful. Granted I’ve only had sex with 5 men from here in all that time but, those 5 men were extremely handsome.

All this talk of abuse after rejecting a guy, I’ve not personally received any. Can you imagine how many men I’ve said no in 11 years, tens of thousands probably if my current inbox over two days is anything to go by, it’s back on 2000 odd. Not one single has ever said anything nasty or abusive to me after I’ve said they’re not my type.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

There have been a lot of these threads lately.

I think folk are getting very frustrated and this is one of the ways they are showing it.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

I just try to not be a dick. I’ve got no idea what someone else’s life or perception is like. Also part of the attraction as well. If I think I can have fun with them, I’d message.

People have gone out of their way to be nasty to me but it’s them. I just find it interesting and normally ask why they’re angry and get no response back

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By *r-OreoMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky. "

Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I’ve just been lucky. "

From chatting with various women on here over the last 7 or 8 years you've been very lucky.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky. "

Maybe it’s because you’re polite in your no thanks? I’ve never had a nasty message after saying no either, but then I say it politely and I tend to reply to most messages.

But I’m a fat lass. Surely I should have nasty responses if all these gym fit men are hitting on lower par women? That’s what some on this thread seem to be alluding to?

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I've typed a reply to this a million times and I can't think of how to get across what I actually think and feel appropriately.

But long reply short.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you deem people 'below you' based on how pleasing their physical appearance is to you then you know what, you can get in the sea.

I deem every single person ‘above me’ not below me. Leaves me open to be walked over but I’d still place any woman on a pedestal x"

Honestly, I'm not sure that's any better. We are all equal, or we should be. Noone is below me, or above me... And while I can't speak for every woman, I can say I do not want to be on any pedestal!

There are people I am attracted too and people I'm not, I appreciate that in the people I'm attracted to circle there will only be a percentage of them that find me attractive. That is just life.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks"

I don’t think that’s why they don’t reply. I think you’re lost in the volume of mail or they get distracted.

It’s not worth getting hung up about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work on the assumption that if women don't reply their either not interested or just have two many messages to even notice. Either way, its up to them, no need to get the hump about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women literally can pick a prick at this point. "

Hmmm. We should call this site Prick Pickers! I think that has a great ring to it!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky. "

My response was not to you OP. If you read back it was to the gentleman that I felt generalised all blokes on here. I didn't think your original post was aimed at every chap

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks" "

When I first joined fab I did. A polite "sorry but you're not for me, I wish you well in your search".

But at worst I could get 100+ messages a day. Most of them a few words at best.

I'd reply politely and get abuse back

Fab in the rules says that no reply IS a reply so eventually I went with that.

Now I probably only reply to 20-30% of the messages I receive.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks"

When I first joined fab I did. A polite "sorry but you're not for me, I wish you well in your search".

But at worst I could get 100+ messages a day. Most of them a few words at best.

I'd reply politely and get abuse back

Fab in the rules says that no reply IS a reply so eventually I went with that.

Now I probably only reply to 20-30% of the messages I receive. "

Plus filters are rendered useless when you reply. That doesn't get taken into consideration enough I don't feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?"

I think in this scenario the guy/guys have some kind of complex because exactly as you said “why message in the first place” however from my perspective I don’t view women/ladies as out of my league simply because I only message those who’s profiles and pics gesture to someone like myself as a potential meet

but the results are somewhat underwhelming

Never mind

were only born once

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky.

Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks"

Oh I don’t reply to every message I get. Christ no I’d need an admin assistant, but the ones I have replied to have never said anything nasty about. Even ones where I’ve read their message and deleted I’ve had a second message saying along the lines of guess I wasn’t your type and they’ve even gone on to compliment me and wish me well. That then sometimes makes me reply with a polite no thanks.

Hey that’s an idea for guys, if they see their message deleted instead of replying with abuse give a compliment and say thanks for deleting the message so promptly as opposed to leaving it unread, guess I wasn’t your type but I still think you’re beautiful and wish you all the best on your fab journey. They are the kind of messages I get after rejecting someone!

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

[Removed by poster at 10/06/21 15:18:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

But constant rejection would be from different people so why take out what different people are doing on others?

Rejection is a part of life we will all go through it, some more than others, most of the time it isn’t personal, no doubt it can be hurtful but you can’t force someone to like or sleep with you.

I don’t think there’s any justification for it. If more people accepted that you’ll be rejected at some point in your life the world would be a better place.

This is the final thing I'm going to say on this, so any response to it won't be seen by me.

Not once did I say anything abusive or directly hurtful to anyone. When I was rejected, I'd then go away and to myself, in my own head think if I was actually attracted to her or not.

Don’t take my post personal, most of it is about personal experience and those who get rejected and get abusive, it wasn’t clear in your post as to whether your words were relayed back to them or not, you’ve now confirmed you didn’t.

It’s good that you learned from your mistakes and no longer do it. As I said, I don’t understand though why there is a need to soften the blow of rejection, as I said we all go through it at some point in life. It hurts because everyone has feelings.

You won’t read this as you stated but ah well! Hopefully someone else can benefit from it and understand where I’m coming from!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?"

It's also our responsibility to stop men abusing us, not the men who should just stop doing it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was younger I'd sort of do this. I grew up and out of it.

If and when I did get knocked back, I'd always go away and think to myself "did I even find her that good looking anyway?" trying to justify the rejection I guess.

Anyway, as I say grew up and out of such behaviour.

That’s so horrible.

It is, yes. However so is constant rejection, and sometimes a behaviour adapts to be able to handle confidence being crushed time and time again, mix that in with just basic immaturity.

But constant rejection would be from different people so why take out what different people are doing on others?

Rejection is a part of life we will all go through it, some more than others, most of the time it isn’t personal, no doubt it can be hurtful but you can’t force someone to like or sleep with you.

I don’t think there’s any justification for it. If more people accepted that you’ll be rejected at some point in your life the world would be a better place.

This is the final thing I'm going to say on this, so any response to it won't be seen by me.

Not once did I say anything abusive or directly hurtful to anyone. When I was rejected, I'd then go away and to myself, in my own head think if I was actually attracted to her or not.

No offence bud, I’ve heard some nice things said about you, but please stop replying! You’re digging a bigger hole by responding

He actually isn’t digging himself a hole at all, in my opinion anyway.

I think it’s very honest of him to admit he used to do what he did, I simply wanted to understand it more from a females point of view who has been on the receiving end of rejection abuse many times, but I understand now after he has explained that he wasn’t like the guys mentioned in this post.

I don’t know him so I wouldn’t know how nice he is, however there was nothing wrong with his post, it was actually very refreshing to read such honesty.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?

It's also our responsibility to stop men abusing us, not the men who should just stop doing it!

Yep. Use your filters to stop all men messaging as they're provided free from the site. And then get slated for being a prick teasing attention seeker for not allowing men to message. Stuck up schlaaaaaaaaag

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

If they are messaging women who in their opinion ‘wouldn’t even look twice at them in the real world’ why are they messaging them in the first place?

Is it an extra kick in the ball bag to not just be rejected but to be rejected by someone who they consider unattractive.?

It's also our responsibility to stop men abusing us, not the men who should just stop doing it!

You at work next Friday?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you speaking from your own perspective or on behalf of ALL men on fab?

It’s just an observation I’ve made from the many many threads I’ve seen over the years.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky.

Other women should see this. I dont like women that think they're too Prestige to even reply a "no thanks"

It’s not about feeling too prestige.

I don’t always have time. I don’t always want to potentially get an abusive reply (and I have had them, despite being polite), and most importantly, I don’t want them to be able to get round my filters when they are on!