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"Because the relationship is not that strong and it's a 'reason' to finish it. If it's a strong relationship and there is a disparity between sex drives then you could always discuss it and agree the one with the stronger drive could seek it out elsewhere." Is it that simple though? You have to take into account, the different people, whether they could cope with that, however strong the relationship I think? | |||
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"Because sex involves the other person and those things don’t, or am I being too simplistic ?" I think so , to an extent. That was my first thought but orgasm doesn't always require another person and I wonder if someone allowing another to use their body is all that a relationship is, given our readiness to change a non-performing partner for a randier readier model. | |||
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"It's about understanding each others needs. I would imagine that some relationships work really well, irrespective of each others sex drive. It should be about respecting each other and coming to a mutual understanding. Or am I living in cloud cuckoo land "It sounded beautiful to me. I'm aware that I don't know what the mutual understanding is but yes, I'd have thought that being ready for sex at exactly the same time as your partner, when you may be different genders, have different drives and have totally different work days and sleep patterns is the LAST thing that partners should hold each other responsible for. | |||
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"Not sure what the question really is but it sounds incompatible. "Go on! I give out like a leafleter at a failing concert.... | |||
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"Because the relationship is not that strong and it's a 'reason' to finish it. If it's a strong relationship and there is a disparity between sex drives then you could always discuss it and agree the one with the stronger drive could seek it out elsewhere." There's always a solution Pnumbers isn't there. I agree... especially as this is ( apparently ) a site for the 'open minded' .... pfffft ! | |||
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"Because the relationship is not that strong and it's a 'reason' to finish it. If it's a strong relationship and there is a disparity between sex drives then you could always discuss it and agree the one with the stronger drive could seek it out elsewhere. Is it that simple though? You have to take into account, the different people, whether they could cope with that, however strong the relationship I think? " Now when this happens, you know when you want sex for the umpteenth time that week and he doesn't and you say well I'll do it next door with Bob ...... What does he do ? Does he say Okay .. go on then fuck Bob. Or does he say ....... If you fuck Bob I'm off....... Then what ... does you put his tackle n squeak first or does Bob get it ? Your life partner or sex ????? If you choose sex......was it ever a solid relationship anyway ? | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. " Yes cause everything is that binary, | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, " Most things are binary these days | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, Most things are binary these days " No, people just try to make them so. | |||
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"Because those other things don’t involve the other person and because they’re not intrinsic to their view of a relationship and tied to their self esteem in the same way as sex is. The way that I see it isn’t that it was the differing sex drives that pulls people apart, it’s their inability to actually discuss these things and communicate about what they want vs what they need and be open with their partners. Having different sex drives isn’t the end of a relationship, not communicating about why that is and finding a way to resolve the differences is" Spot on in our case. In a very simplistic over view our mismatched libidos led to me cheating and wanting a divorce. Once we talked about it, a lot of blood sweat and tears, we have been able to move past it and accept what the other wanted/desired/needed and we now have a more fulfilling intimate side to our relationship. For my part, I wish I had spoken with her about it sooner instead of over thinking things and making up excuses for my behaviour. | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ?" There are at least two ways of looking at these questions. The first is that they are using sex as an easy out. Sex isn't actually the problem with the relationship but it's easy to point to and easier to talk about. Let's not dig into my failings as a person or hers, which would be awkward and hurtful. The second is that sex IS the reason for the relationship and there is nothing else of substance there. This relationship probably wouldn't survive anyway because it's just based on convenience. | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, Most things are binary these days No, people just try to make them so." Yes I think you find anything with a micro chip runs on binary code | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, " I said *some*. | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ? There are at least two ways of looking at these questions. The first is that they are using sex as an easy out. Sex isn't actually the problem with the relationship but it's easy to point to and easier to talk about. Let's not dig into my failings as a person or hers, which would be awkward and hurtful. The second is that sex IS the reason for the relationship and there is nothing else of substance there. This relationship probably wouldn't survive anyway because it's just based on convenience. "  | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, Most things are binary these days No, people just try to make them so. Yes I think you find anything with a micro chip runs on binary code " Including people? Because that’s what I’m talking about | |||
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"Sex is more important than a relationship for some people. Sex drives can change. No sex? Get rid. Disposable fuck holes/ disposable fuck poles. Why keep them if they are of no use. Yes cause everything is that binary, Most things are binary these days No, people just try to make them so. Yes I think you find anything with a micro chip runs on binary code Including people? Because that’s what I’m talking about" Yes including people as the brain is just one big microchip sending electrical signs to switch parts off it on and off 1 is on 0 is off | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 10/06/21 08:05:36]" | |||
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"Because sex involves the other person and those things don’t, or am I being too simplistic ?" This is what I'm thinking | |||
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"Because those other things don’t involve the other person and because they’re not intrinsic to their view of a relationship and tied to their self esteem in the same way as sex is. The way that I see it isn’t that it was the differing sex drives that pulls people apart, it’s their inability to actually discuss these things and communicate about what they want vs what they need and be open with their partners. Having different sex drives isn’t the end of a relationship, not communicating about why that is and finding a way to resolve the differences is" I agree. But have you EVER heard anyone say, "Well I liked three rashers and she only liked one so that's the end of that!" I think it's more deep routed than anything that's been said so far. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 10/06/21 08:05:36] "Thanks Yas..... you say the clevereverest things...... xx (bum)(heart) (fart) | |||
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"I think that it isn't the mismatched sex drive that breaks people up in most cases, it's the mismatched need for intimate acts like hand holding, cuddling, closeness and quality time spent together that are associated with sex in a relationship. Things like that can make a person feel loved and correspondingly absence of those things can make them feel unloved. It mostly comes down to the age old barrier to successful relationships, lack of good communication" I'd agree with all of that. | |||
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"Because those other things don’t involve the other person and because they’re not intrinsic to their view of a relationship and tied to their self esteem in the same way as sex is. The way that I see it isn’t that it was the differing sex drives that pulls people apart, it’s their inability to actually discuss these things and communicate about what they want vs what they need and be open with their partners. Having different sex drives isn’t the end of a relationship, not communicating about why that is and finding a way to resolve the differences is I agree. But have you EVER heard anyone say, "Well I liked three rashers and she only liked one so that's the end of that!" I think it's more deep routed than anything that's been said so far. " I’m on a large FB group for dads, which covers most various relationship statuses available, you really wouldn’t believe the reasons that some cite for relationship failure. Bacon would be tame by comparison! I tend to agree though. Is it actually sex that’s the issue or is it that people are more invested in their own pleasures, and sex is just a part of that? | |||
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"rooted....... F's sake I am on a typing hiding to nowhere this morning..... Mind you I do have dough all over me and the smell of fresh bread emanating from the kitchen ....." Thanks for that...I'd suddenly aware that I'm hungry and not a piece of freshly baked bread in sight  | |||
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"rooted....... F's sake I am on a typing hiding to nowhere this morning..... Mind you I do have dough all over me and the smell of fresh bread emanating from the kitchen ..... Thanks for that...I'd suddenly aware that I'm hungry and not a piece of freshly baked bread in sight "I also have butter in the fridge but i'm vegan and it's not mine and when my friend spreads the butter on the warm bread i could weep for the past | |||
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"rooted....... F's sake I am on a typing hiding to nowhere this morning..... Mind you I do have dough all over me and the smell of fresh bread emanating from the kitchen ..... Thanks for that...I'd suddenly aware that I'm hungry and not a piece of freshly baked bread in sight
I also have butter in the fridge but i'm vegan and it's not mine and when my friend spreads the butter on the warm bread i could weep for the past "My favourite...best butter and good bread 
When we were kids it was always Margarine and mom as a treat would buy best butter | |||
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"I think that it isn't the mismatched sex drive that breaks people up in most cases, it's the mismatched need for intimate acts like hand holding, cuddling, closeness and quality time spent together that are associated with sex in a relationship. Things like that can make a person feel loved and correspondingly absence of those things can make them feel unloved. It mostly comes down to the age old barrier to successful relationships, lack of good communication" I agree with this. If one partner feels pressure to have sex they can often withdraw all physical intimacy, like hand holding and cuddling, for fear it will lead the other person to wanting sex. The person wanting intimacy, quite understandably, feels rejected every time they just need a hug. Mismatched sex drives maybe the instigator for relationship problems, but it rarely remains the sole problem. | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ?" These aren’t great examples or comparisons, it’s fairly obvious why, also I don’t think we readily accept this line, I’ve not heard anyone split up solely for that reason, there’s usually an underlying cause, but obviously communication is the key and finding a solution, where both parties are satisfied, the other things are incidental. | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ? These aren’t great examples or comparisons, it’s fairly obvious why, also I don’t think we readily accept this line, I’ve not heard anyone split up solely for that reason, there’s usually an underlying cause, but obviously communication is the key and finding a solution, where both parties are satisfied, the other things are incidental. " Not to jump on your response but a reaction to it; I agree that communication is key and that compromise is important but how do you compromise on sex drive and sexual appetite? If one partner doesn’t want sex, should they compromise when they don’t want it? | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ? These aren’t great examples or comparisons, it’s fairly obvious why, also I don’t think we readily accept this line, I’ve not heard anyone split up solely for that reason, there’s usually an underlying cause, but obviously communication is the key and finding a solution, where both parties are satisfied, the other things are incidental. Not to jump on your response but a reaction to it; I agree that communication is key and that compromise is important but how do you compromise on sex drive and sexual appetite? If one partner doesn’t want sex, should they compromise when they don’t want it? " Some people think they should. | |||
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"I liked sex every day but it wasn't enough for him and he left me. She wanted sex morning , noon and night and i'm happy with 3 times a week so we split up. Why do we so readily accept this line of reasoning ? If I said, I liked to eat 3 meals a day but my husband always skips breakfast so we broke up..... If I said ...My husband loves watching the snooker every night when it's on but I only watch on Sundays so he dumped me..... If I said ...... I like to take deep breaths and so I do cardio but my husband is a shallow breather cos of his smoking ..... so we got divorced. I'm going to have yet ANOTHER cup of tea now.... if you drink less liquid .. will you dump me ? These aren’t great examples or comparisons, it’s fairly obvious why, also I don’t think we readily accept this line, I’ve not heard anyone split up solely for that reason, there’s usually an underlying cause, but obviously communication is the key and finding a solution, where both parties are satisfied, the other things are incidental. " I agree my examples are not as comparable as sex is with sex but air, water and food come pretty high on the list of human needs. They are more important than sex .... and i'd wager to be loved or to have good friendship would be the choice over sex..... I agree with you that there is generally an underlying cause that results in separating and that communication is key to most of life's troubles.. And we really DO , as a society accept that different sex drives are grounds for discontent. There is indisputable evidence. | |||
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"I think that it isn't the mismatched sex drive that breaks people up in most cases, it's the mismatched need for intimate acts like hand holding, cuddling, closeness and quality time spent together that are associated with sex in a relationship. Things like that can make a person feel loved and correspondingly absence of those things can make them feel unloved. It mostly comes down to the age old barrier to successful relationships, lack of good communication I agree with this. If one partner feels pressure to have sex they can often withdraw all physical intimacy, like hand holding and cuddling, for fear it will lead the other person to wanting sex. The person wanting intimacy, quite understandably, feels rejected every time they just need a hug. Mismatched sex drives maybe the instigator for relationship problems, but it rarely remains the sole problem." This... My husband and I have mismatched sex drives. Mine has always been variable but has been more so as I've got older. However, we love and understand each other and I never feel pressured into sex. He is welcome to meet other ladies if he wants but prefers to have a wank when I'm not in the mood, usually with a bit of help from me. | |||
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