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No means no, obviously ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think we’re all agreed on that. Only a real danger would disagree.

But what about those people that say “if you’re not prepared to fight for me then you don’t deserve me” after saying no to a first approach... you know, the thrill of the chase and all that.

Is that part of the dating “game” now dead?

Anyway, only asking for a mate as I’m married and not looking for anyone anyway ...

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Does that really happen outside of soaps and teen dramas?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

SW1A1AA

If i say no i nean no. End off. I dont want anyobe fighting for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does that really happen outside of soaps and teen dramas?"

Dunno... (where’s the shrug shoulders emoji on here? )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no and no means no for life to once turned down will never give that chance again no matter what

Way I look at it I wasn’t good anuff then I still not good anuff now as I am the same person

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By *ngrylookingpenis123Woman
over a year ago

.

Surely fighting for someone after they have said no is just unwanted harassment

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Bollocks to that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If i say no i nean no. End off. I dont want anyobe fighting for me"

Exactly. But how are men supposed to know which women DO want men to go that extra mile?

Or maybe as someone above suggested, maybe they don’t other than in the movies?

If I was dating (thank god I’m not) I’d obviously default to leaving them alone after that first rejection (and I’m sure I’d get a lot of first rejections! ) but would that potentially mean missing out on that hottie who does desire the chase?? Who knows. Hey, who even cares?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely fighting for someone after they have said no is just unwanted harassment"

Well yes, exactly. Unless the person is a narcissist who demands attention and sees it as a power trip?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I've been seeing someone for years who I originally said no thank you too.

I'm a woman; I change like the weather.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Perthshire

No categorically means no as far as I'm concerned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bollocks to that."

aye exactly. That would be my view!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've been seeing someone for years who I originally said no thank you too.

I'm a woman; I change like the weather. "

Well see, this is what I mean. So it’s NOT as black and white as the initial replies would suggest.

It’s a minefield isn’t it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think on this subject for me personally I do like the chase and I like making the effort to be Chivalrous sometimes a woman can turn you down just to get you to chase them and make more effort to get their affections but I think that it’s pretty obvious when someone says no and means no because they will not give anything back when you are trying to chase them. I think it can be obvious at times when they say no but don’t mean it also. It’s all about reading the conversations with regards to flirtatiousness.

I.e if she says no but still flirts with you then it’s not a no that means NO it’s a try harder. I may be wrong but I’m currently in one of these situations atm. Only difference is she has huge trust issues and has had really bad experiences in the past that she feels that are making her hold back. If you really like someone in that kind of situation then just be patient and understanding I’d say

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think on this subject for me personally I do like the chase and I like making the effort to be Chivalrous sometimes a woman can turn you down just to get you to chase them and make more effort to get their affections but I think that it’s pretty obvious when someone says no and means no because they will not give anything back when you are trying to chase them. I think it can be obvious at times when they say no but don’t mean it also. It’s all about reading the conversations with regards to flirtatiousness.

I.e if she says no but still flirts with you then it’s not a no that means NO it’s a try harder. I may be wrong but I’m currently in one of these situations atm. Only difference is she has huge trust issues and has had really bad experiences in the past that she feels that are making her hold back. If you really like someone in that kind of situation then just be patient and understanding I’d say "

aye good answer. Read the signals! No means no, unless it means keep trying.

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By *okingham WillMan
2 days ago

.

Did we ever get to the bottom of this? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Anyway. Good question, whoever the OP was?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

I'm too black and white about things for these games.

No means no.

Unless in a prenegotiated scene where communication about what no means in that circumstance and why has long been established.

But I wouldn't agree to such a scene personally. Because no means no 💜

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By *actile TensionMan
2 days ago

Sussex

If youre ever unsure just imagine how it would sound being read from a transcript in a courtroom

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By *rtydeedsdnedrtcheapMan
2 days ago

Wirral

If somebody wants me to fight for them then they don't realise just how I credibly lazy I am

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By *okingham WillMan
2 days ago

.


"I'm too black and white about things for these games.

No means no.

Unless in a prenegotiated scene where communication about what no means in that circumstance and why has long been established.

But I wouldn't agree to such a scene personally. Because no means no 💜"

Well exactly. But up there someone else has said no might mean “try again”? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’m firmly in the “nah, you’ve said no so you mean no” camp. Too old for games!

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By *ourpornfixMan
2 days ago

East Cheshire

Fighting for someone used to mean facing up to the other contender(s) for the lady's pleasure. Pistols for two, coffee for one. Pugilism. Jousting.

It most certainly doesn't mean fighting the object of your affection!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually


"I'm too black and white about things for these games.

No means no.

Unless in a prenegotiated scene where communication about what no means in that circumstance and why has long been established.

But I wouldn't agree to such a scene personally. Because no means no 💜

Well exactly. But up there someone else has said no might mean “try again”? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’m firmly in the “nah, you’ve said no so you mean no” camp. Too old for games! "

Nah. No just means no.

Sometimes it just means not now, rather than not ever. But at that moment it still means no rather than convince me 💜

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By *teelCityCoupleCouple
2 days ago

Sheffield

Fuck the chase just be clear on what you want but don't look desperate

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By *apua New GuineaMan
2 days ago

nearby

Never been a chaser. Lets be transparent, no mind games, no drama.

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