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Bit of Advice please

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So been speaking to someone and they said they're in a poly relationship. However his fiancée isn't poly, just him. I don't know much about the poly world but surely to be in a poly relationship you both have to be poly? And he seems quite pushy so it's making me uneasy.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Ignore him then x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I was in a poly situation where only I slept with others so it dies happen.

But if he’s being pushy and you don’t like it back off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's lying about being poly. He is cheating.

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By *anae21Woman
over a year ago

Nearer than you think

That's not "poly", that's cheating.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton


"So been speaking to someone and they said they're in a poly relationship. However his fiancée isn't poly, just him. I don't know much about the poly world but surely to be in a poly relationship you both have to be poly? And he seems quite pushy so it's making me uneasy."

If he’s pushy now before even agreeing to meet, and he’s in a situation that’s complicated, I’d agree with Yasmeen and move on. There’s other guys available ion fab that would be better matched for you.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"That's not "poly", that's cheating. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away"

Agree . For once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So been speaking to someone and they said they're in a poly relationship. However his fiancée isn't poly, just him. I don't know much about the poly world but surely to be in a poly relationship you both have to be poly? And he seems quite pushy so it's making me uneasy."

Lol I think he may be a liar/delusional. Both halves of a couple have to be agreed on being in a poly relationship. He is either in an open relationship, in which he has permission to play away from home or he is a cheat… either way he sounds bad news… unless you are happy with that. I’m not here to judge

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Find someone less complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away

Agree . For once "

Moo bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely cheating also if someone being pushy hit the block button red flags there’s no place for pushness at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If his girlfriend doesn’t know about this then surely it’s what others have said this is cheating but I would agree with the masses on this walk away if your not happy with it and say thanks but no thanks

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away

Agree . For once

Moo bag "

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"So been speaking to someone and they said they're in a poly relationship. However his fiancée isn't poly, just him. I don't know much about the poly world but surely to be in a poly relationship you both have to be poly? And he seems quite pushy so it's making me uneasy."

I'm not disagreeing with anyone that has said he is cheating. And there are actual poly "experts" on here that know more than me.

But it is possible for her to not be interested in being in other relationships but is okay for him to be in them, as far as I'm aware. May be totally wrong on this one but all I'm saying is that that I don't think what he claims should be auto dismissed.

However it is highly likely he is cheating as others have said. And is very likely the actual situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He might be poly and in a relationship with someone who isn't poly. She might be monogamous with him. It can happen.

But he also might be lying.

Always trust your gut. He is giving you bad vibes and you need to listen to yourself.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

You don't both have to be poly in a poly relationship - my fiancé is ethically non-monogamous but very much emotionally monogamous (as in he's not poly) but I'm poly. We're both very happy with this and understand each other well. Several of my friends are in similar dynamics.

However! If you're feeling uncomfortable, he's been pushy or you feel like he's not telling the truth - walk away. Not worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So been speaking to someone and they said they're in a poly relationship. However his fiancée isn't poly, just him. I don't know much about the poly world but surely to be in a poly relationship you both have to be poly? And he seems quite pushy so it's making me uneasy."

If he is making you uneasy then that’s the only red flag that you need OP. Walk away

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Ask to meet the partner

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

That's another red flag for me. Hope you find someone nicer.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away"

This is very good advice.

If you’re unsure, that’s your answer.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

More red flags than a Russian semaphore convention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you've dodged a bullet there. Sounds quite unpleasant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When there's doubt.

There is no doubt.

Walk away

This is very good advice.

If you’re unsure, that’s your answer. "

It was the instruction given when dealing with the enemy.

When in doubt. Kill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

Pissed off because he thought he caught a nibble and now you’re wriggling off his line. Tell him to fuck off. I’ll do it, I love telling people to fuck off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

That's another red flag.

It's not unreasonable to take a day to make a choice on a meet.

If you were chatting for a month maybe but certainly not a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night

More red flags than a Russian semaphore convention "
I was going to type more red flags than the Chinese army

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

No way, a guy on here being pissed off about being rejected?! That’s got to be a first lol

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Always go with your gut op

It's telling you something is off, so it probably is.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I suppose it's possible if she is happy with the situation. She may not be interested in other relationships but she might be fine with him having them. It's conceivable but very strange and I would guess unlikely.

If she doesn't know about it then no he's not poly, he's just cheating.

If she does know about it but isn't fine with it then it's cheating and being a bit abusive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've blocked his number now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

My last advice was to walk away OP but I’m changing it to run and keep running

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset


"Thank you everyone. I've told him how I felt. Said he understands but he's pissed off because I didn't say it earlier. We've only started chatting since.last night "

Dodged a bullet there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He's lying about being poly. He is cheating.

"

^this

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