FabSwingers.com forum: A few jokes let me know what you think

By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I like my women how I like my glasses - sat on my face.

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes."

"What the fuck happened to you?" I asked.

"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.

"That's bullshit," I said, looking in the mirror,

"I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine."

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Some bloke called my wife a pig last night.

I said,"Don't listen to him,Babe!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boooooooooooooooo!!!

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Boooooooooooooooo!!!"

Lol what's wrong there funny lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I glassed some bloke down the pub last night for stepping out of line.

I don't fuck around when it comes to a Conga!

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Really

Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I glassed some bloke down the pub last night for stepping out of line.

I don't fuck around when it comes to a Conga!

sorry that one made me giggle a bit

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I glassed some bloke down the pub last night for stepping out of line.

I don't fuck around when it comes to a Conga!

Lol thank you haha

sorry that one made me giggle a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really

Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different "
Now that site is funny

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I went to a mate's wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me "isn't the bride a right ugly dog".

"Do you mind?

That's my daughter you're talking about"... "I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were her father" ....

"I'm not . . . I'm her fuckin mother !"

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Really

Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different Now that site is funny

Yeh I know I'm on there lol no but each to there own there will be some you like and some you don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to a mate's wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me "isn't the bride a right ugly dog".

"Do you mind?

That's my daughter you're talking about"... "I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were her father" ....

"I'm not . . . I'm her fuckin mother !""
Getting better

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I went to a mate's wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me "isn't the bride a right ugly dog".

"Do you mind?

That's my daughter you're talking about"... "I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were her father" ....

"I'm not . . . I'm her fuckin mother !"Getting better

Lol I aim to please

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

This bird came up to me in a bar last night and said,"buy me a drink that you think best suits me and my personality." "Sorry," I replied,"I don't think they do cans of Monster here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It gets really embarressing when my mum starts talking to my friends about sex......... but at least she gets £3.50 a minute for it

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"It gets really embarressing when my mum starts talking to my friends about sex......... but at least she gets £3.50 a minute for it

Lol

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

What's worse than finding out your girlfriend has been cheating on you?Finding out your girlfriend has been cheating on you, the smug fucker has filmed it, uploaded it to a streaming porn website, AND only realising all this 4 minutes into wanking over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh dear I think it's time for bed lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes."

"What the fuck happened to you?" I asked.

"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.

"That's bullshit," I said, looking in the mirror,

"I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine.""

Had to read that twice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes."

"What the fuck happened to you?" I asked.

"This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager," she replied.

"That's bullshit," I said, looking in the mirror,

"I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine."

Had to read that twice!"

No.. Really, you didnt...;-);-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex used to headbutt me every time she climaxed...

Then I discovered she was faking them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex used to headbutt me every time she climaxed...

Then I discovered she was faking them..."

funny

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different "

Trying to pass off these jokes as your own is pretty sad. Just by checking on Sikipedia all those jokes are submitted by different users (aka not you). Maybe you should brand yourself as the top joker on fab?

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different

They are mine I've got several account all under different names

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lord coe said recently that representing your country is the greatest feeling in the world.

Personally I think angelina jolie sitting on my cock while snorting off jessica alba's tits would feel a lot better

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

Husband says to his wife, 'why does my cock get hard every time I look at myself naked in the mirror?'Wife says, 'probably cos your cock thinks your a cunt too!'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

was at a wedding a few weeks back when the DJ said "all the men stand next to the person who makes your life bearable" the poor bar man got taken to hospital for being crushed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Husband says to his wife, 'why does my cock get hard every time I look at myself naked in the mirror?'Wife says, 'probably cos your cock thinks your a cunt too!'..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I loved them all! Keep them coming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what is the difference between a dog and a fox?

about 8 pints!

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By *weet DevilMan
over a year ago

dukinfield

my wife bought me one of those mood rings .... its great when im in a good mood it turns green

when im in a bad mood it leaves a nasty red mark on her forehead

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

As a well-endowed man, I'm here to tell you it's not always easy. For one thing, a lot of women won't fuck a man whose tits are bigger than hers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "I came first in the Olympics and they gave the medal to the twat on my back."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dog walks into a bar and orders a drink

barman says "fuck me a talking dog"

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

My wife has left me because I kept getting erections in inappropriate places.

The last one I had was right up her sisters arse. !!!!

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names "

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? "
I'd of thought the explanation was in the name...Sickipedia!

If its not your cup of tea, don't look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? I'd of thought the explanation was in the name...Sickipedia!

If its not your cup of tea, don't look

"
well said that woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? I'd of thought the explanation was in the name...Sickipedia!

If its not your cup of tea, don't look

well said that woman

"
Thankyou kind Sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? "

Err... He doesnt have to...;-)

He chose to share some material with the forums, some of which were humerous, some less so.

You have opined that they were not to your taste...

The OP doesnt need to explain the remaining content of a specialist website, the vast majority of which he was not the author...

Of those posted on here... Some I didnt like, a couple made me roll on the floor...

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell?

Err... He doesnt have to...;-)

He chose to share some material with the forums, some of which were humerous, some less so.

You have opined that they were not to your taste...

The OP doesnt need to explain the remaining content of a specialist website, the vast majority of which he was not the author...

Of those posted on here... Some I didnt like, a couple made me roll on the floor...

Cheers thank you

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By *igTee OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? I'd of thought the explanation was in the name...Sickipedia!

If its not your cup of tea, don't look

well said that woman

Thankyou kind Sir

Yeh I post any sort of joke except for kids or anything like that there's a line n I would be er cross that line just cz I post racist jokes jokes about women men all sorts don't make me a racist don't make me hate women dnt make me hate men

You say you don't like them but yet you feel the need to comment with all due respect move on from this if it's not for you I've posted a few jokes n as a 32 year old man just trying makd people laugh I dnt need the grief from you luv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are mine I've got several account all under different names

Of course u have, would you also like to explain the racist jokes that those accounts have posted aswell? I'd of thought the explanation was in the name...Sickipedia!

If its not your cup of tea, don't look

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

If anyone gets a message from me with a link on it about looking at my tinned meat don't open it , it's spam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia "

why are you posting other sickapedians jokes then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?

Fucks funny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just deleted all my german friends off my iphon!!

Its now hanz free!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Were does kylie get her kebabs from?

Jasons donorvan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot do you say to a women with two black eyes?

Nothing! You,ve already told her twice!

Calm down girls! Its comedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia

why are you posting other sickapedians jokes then?"

Coz if he was writin his own he'd be on Live at the 'kin Apollo...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia

why are you posting other sickapedians jokes then?

Coz if he was writin his own he'd be on Live at the 'kin Apollo..."
Boom boom.lol

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By *anda man.Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Good job you didn't post any Lezzie jokes mate,she'd be suicidal.

Bernard Manning lives on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some good jokes i love sickipedia. And dont let those who dont like them put you off. My father is disabled and guess what his favourite jokes are. Yes disabled ones. A joke is a joke nothing more

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Scoucers have responded to United,s new signings by signing their own Dutchman...

Robin Van Wheels.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how do you make a nun pregnant

fuck her !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 flys on a pussy which ones on drugs

the one sniffing up the crack

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By *cldnCouple
over a year ago

watford

What do you call a dog with 2 dicks?

N-dubz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't give up your day job Big Tee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man proposes to his girlfriend but b4 they are married he confessed about his deformity of only having an infant size penis.

She said

"I can live with that."

On the honeymoon she slides her hand into his pants,squealed & ran from the room. He followed to find out whats wrong

"U said it was infant sized"

she gasped.

"It is

he explained

"8 lb 7oz & 14 inches long!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got thrown out of the chemists today. I only asked the woman behind the counter: "Do you take it up the arse, love, or do you swallow it?"

She went fucking mental. Fuck knows what I'm supposed to do with these suppositories now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two couples on holiday, and husbands Paul and Dave decide to try and get their ladies to wife swap. Amazingly they agree but Paul knows his wife is on her time of month so he has got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast they'll tap the spoon on the table however many times they shagged the others missus. Next morning Paul grins and taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles then taps once on the jam and three times on the Nutella.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife has left me because I kept getting erections in inappropriate places.

The last one I had was right up her sisters arse. !!!!

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was talking to my grandad the other day about the afghan war, and he said that it was going to be like a modern day Vietnam and it would all be for nothing.

"Tell me something I don't know" I said

"Your nan can can take my whole fist up her arse" he replied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The highs and lows of being a teacher...... One day your reading the register, the next day your on it!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Last week, a woman checked into a motel on her 65th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call. "Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?" Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I' m ready!! Now how does that sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic Madam, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag?

One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to children, the other is a carrier bag.

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By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

"Well a lot of people think so I'm in the top 50 jokers on sickipedia but everyone's sense of humour is different

They are mine I've got several account all under different names "

Well surely if you had one account in one name then you'd be higher up the list

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By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

"What do you call a dog with 2 dicks?

N-dubz"

Made me laugh

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By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

A paedophile pulls up next to a ten year old boy in liverpool and says 'if you come in my car i,ll give you a pound'

The kid says'gimme a fiver and i,ll cum in yer mouth

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