FabSwingers.com forum: Hiv

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohh thats a very tricky one.

I'm assuming she doesn't know you have sex men from you have said.

If she does just be honest, if not I don't really know what you could say but definitely don't be tempted to risk it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also hope all is ok and I'm glad you acted quickly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

You could make out there’s something else wrong and that you’re on tablets that affect your performance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You could make out there’s something else wrong and that you’re on tablets that affect your performance. "

But as Lorna said. Don’t risk it! Be honest before you do that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It would be a similar situation whatever the partners gender. You have a few weeks without sex and there aren't too many reasons for that but some honesty would be the best outcome. Potentially you want an open relationship and not monogamy, so that's 1 hurdle, if you've suggested otherwise. You may need to establish new relationship rules, including it ending.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Awkward. I'm guessing from your post that she's not aware of your extracurricular activities.

I can see only two options.

The first is to tell her what's happened.

The second is to fabricate an excuse. E.g. You've lost your mojo, you're feeling depressed and don't fancy sex, that sort of thing.

Don't go down the road of just avoiding sex, that makes people wonder what they've done wrong or why you aren't finding them attractive.

There's no solution that isn't going to cause both of you and your relationship problems I'm afraid.

Have you thought about what happens when the six weeks is up?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I think you really need to tell her, for more reasons other than just sexual contact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Partner doesn't know.

We been together 20byears have 3 children.

I have gay thoughts for a while and never acted on them.

However the opportunity arose and I went for it. Unfortunately what happened as now buggered me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Partner doesn't know.

We been together 20byears have 3 children.

I have gay thoughts for a while and never acted on them.

However the opportunity arose and I went for it. Unfortunately what happened as now buggered me.

In more ways than one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been tested more than once, waiting for the results is always a nerve wracking time

I always manage to convince myself I'm gonna end up like Freddie Mercury

It's a headfuck

You will have that to balance as well as the worry of what the wife will think is wrong

You don't need to lose your shit, it will wash over

I'm gonna go against the grain and say if it was a one off and you've scratched your itch, you don't need to tell her anything

Why ruin a happy family for the sake of a random nobbing?

Just don't fuck her or cum in her, or even share bodily fluids

Did you enjoy the cock though?

Will you be going back for more?

If that's a yes, that changes things

It's best for you all that you do open up if that is the case

Maybe not right now, but before you start shagging about

Cos the shags are great, the guilt that kicks in afterwards, not so much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

We all have our own reasons for what we do and while it is easy to say talk to your partner, the reality is its *not* that easy.

If you go down the route of avoiding having sex with her, then I would suggest letting her know its not her its you.

Lord knows lockdown is a good enough reason these days yo lose your mojo.

But you do need to think about what you will do/say should the HIV test come back with a positive result.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone

Let’s just hope for you and your family’s sake that it comes back negative. Do you know this other person well, is he known to be HIV positive?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Is it the man on your verification?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you could deliberately injure your penis in some way, so you have a good reason to avoid sex for a few weeks. Not sure how though... Bit of sandpaper maybe? Say you fell over and grazed it?

Lol I'm so shit at lying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Good luck for your results.

Whatever happens, do not take risks with you partner.

If anything ever came out maybe you'd be forgiven for your indiscretion but, not for putting her at risk.

Six weeks is a long time to make excuses for, maybe feign illness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so tricky one, and im not judging so just offering a reason you could possibly use.

So id go down the route of ive pricked myself on a needle... and explain youve had to go for a test ect. If you were to be honest what youve done is it really worth the heartbreak for everyone envolved, and hopefully its a wakeup call. Good luck op

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Ok so tricky one, and im not judging so just offering a reason you could possibly use.

That’s probably the most feasible excuse. Perhaps at the park. I’ve known people say there are needles and d*ugs left at kids parks sometimes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you gamble.

Prepare to lose

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Leave your partner. Imagine she was unlucky enough to be infected by you if you too are positive. You don't have to have sex to be passing that on do you..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

Just say you have lost your sex drive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suppose it depends what level of deceptive your comfortable being.... Cheating is pretty bad buylt couples get over and move on from thing like that all the time with good communication, cheating and then keeping something like this from her is then two lies, making up a story as to why you can't have sex on top of that is three... The more lies pile up the harder it is to come back from when inevitably at some point things get uncovered... Not telling her is potentially putting her at risk if you where to be positive... I really hope your not and its all a worry about nothing, hopefully it draws to some sort of conclusion that doesn't devistate your life but the more lies you tell the less likely that is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rit-gentMan
over a year ago

cannock

Well it’s sound to me you need to come up with a good plan you could say you have tripped over her bag on the stairs and be stuck to the sofa for 6 weeks in pain.... be ideal get her waiting on you hand and foot send her out for beers like in little Britain run up stairs for a quick wank before she gets back...

Let’s face it you may as well take the piss as much as you can she will go mad if she finds out anyway...

I bet the ladies on fab will be cross at me now

I bet you have learned a valuable lesson and the gilt is getting to you...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shouldnt be cheating on your girlfriend by haveing sex with men then. Hope its a lessen learned. Be open with her and dont cheat its scummy and she will be more crushed if she knew you have cheated with men.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say you've got thrush, after two weeks say your going to the doctors about the thrush as it hasn't gone away. They've said to use probiotic yoghurt before the medical route. (Keep up with buying and using the yoghurt!)

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Say you've got thrush, after two weeks say your going to the doctors about the thrush as it hasn't gone away. They've said to use probiotic yoghurt before the medical route. (Keep up with buying and using the yoghurt!)

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx"

I’m actually a little worried about how good a lot you are haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a wank - snap your banjo string.

It will hurt but not as much as your wife finding out.

I hope it’s negative.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx

I’m actually a little worried about how good a lot you are haha"

What do you mean?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Just be upfront and honest honesty is the best policy no mater what the outcome

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

"Have a wank - snap your banjo string.

It will hurt but not as much as your wife finding out.

I hope it’s negative.

That bought Tears to my eyes.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 19:27:33]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx

I’m actually a little worried about how good a lot you are haha

What do you mean?"

Think he meant how good a liar I am.

In my defense, if it's for something serious for someone else, like breaking a family apart. I can think of a good reason.

If it's me lying about myself it will go to shit in a second

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a wank - snap your banjo string.

It will hurt but not as much as your wife finding out.

I hope it’s negative.

That bought Tears to my eyes....."

Needs must.

If I was the wife in this situation snapping your banjo would be a much better option!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx

I’m actually a little worried about how good a lot you are haha

What do you mean?

Think he meant how good a liar I am.

In my defense, if it's for something serious for someone else, like breaking a family apart. I can think of a good reason.

If it's me lying about myself it will go to shit in a second

Ah i see!

Yep I’m the same! I can always help other people. Crap at helping myself or taking the advice I give them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebusStoneMan
over a year ago

Weymouth

Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustathingMan
over a year ago

Reading

Wow, that's a pretty serious situation!

Is the fella known to have HIV, or is it just your brain working over time?

Whatever you do don't put her at risk, even if it ends up in you just having to flat out reject her. She'll thank you in the long run!

Once the 6 week's has passed, hopefully this will be the eye opener you needed... Either put those feelings away and never let them back out again, or be open and honest and accept she may not be able to carry on with the marriage...

Certainly a few rough decisions lay ahead, but just seek out people that can help, lend a judgement free ear, and try not to let it eat you up inside too much!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

You Tried this for two weeks, doctors now recommend medication - another 2 weeks.

Takes you to 6 week's and I've got everything crossed for you that it's negative.

Probably the most innocent reason to not have sex with your wife.

But as others have said if you're going to do this again, the conversation needs to be done.

Hope everything goes well xx

I’m actually a little worried about how good AT LYING you are haha

What do you mean?"

Bloody autocorrect!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?"

What difference would that make? His question was what to say to his partner. He still can’t have sex with her!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?

What difference would that make? His question was what to say to his partner. He still can’t have sex with her!"

I think he was suggesting that if the other guy is negative, then he should be ok.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?

What difference would that make? His question was what to say to his partner. He still can’t have sex with her!

I think he was suggesting that if the other guy is negative, then he should be ok. "

Yeah but the test would take just as long for the results surely?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having had a friend in the NHS who got an injury once from a possibly infected needle, the quicker you start on PEP the more likely it is to work. (He turned out OK by the way.)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is disgusting, I hope you don't go any where near her, stop thinking about covering yourself and potentially putting others at risk. Partner and three kids are you mad, who cares what thoughts you have for the other sex. All I here is someone who is selfish and looking for away of getting away with it, I hope she finds out and kicks you to touch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"This is disgusting, I hope you don't go any where near her, stop thinking about covering yourself and potentially putting others at risk. Partner and three kids are you mad, who cares what thoughts you have for the other sex. All I here is someone who is selfish and looking for away of getting away with it, I hope she finds out and kicks you to touch"

Wow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the advice on here is disgusting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her. Tell her now. Don't have sex, don't pass go, don't collect £200.

Just

Tell

Her

Now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Perhaps to you'd do better ignoring threads that bother you?

OP doesn't need this type of abuse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals"

Am with you !!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps to you'd do better ignoring threads that bother you?

OP doesn't need this type of abuse "

He doesn't need the advice he's getting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Some of the advice on here is disgusting"
as is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *angria_girlukWoman
over a year ago

LUTON

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?

What difference would that make? His question was what to say to his partner. He still can’t have sex with her!

I think he was suggesting that if the other guy is negative, then he should be ok.

Yeah but the test would take just as long for the results surely? "

HIV tests are rapid now, so if the other man is HIV positive, then OP has been exposed, and therefore needs to wait the 6 weeks between exposure and testing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?"

Window periods. You need at least 4 weeks, ideally 6 for results to be accurate. He could ask the other guy to test but whose to say when he put himself at risk prior? The OP is following the safest guidelines. However this shows that’s no sex is safe sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you"

I don’t give anyone advice they “want”’to hear. He asked a question, people answered. He didn’t ask to be judged on his relationship and doesn’t deserve to be spoken to in the way you just have.

My opinion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20 years with her and you can’t talk about your bi side?

Anyway it’s up to you what to do?

I don’t think people should give an opinion on such hazardous situation! HIV is a killer. You could have put your family in a risky position.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don’t you just get the guy who fucked you to take a test ?

Yes if you get tested before engaging in any extra sexual activities. Regardless if it’s safe sex or not, in case situation like he got into happens.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Deserve haha, dont make me laugh, a partner, 3 kids and a potentially serious virus. Give your head a wobble, he's free to reply himself if he disagrees, im sure his family would appreciate abit of honesty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Fake covid

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Guess what. There’s loads of people on here with partners. And what happened to him could happen to anyone. Regardless if it was male or female. If this was a woman who posted saying the condom broke would you have been so abusive?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Either way my opinion stands on this.. i am not going to sit a say I don’t judge people either. Because i do, maybe he could of worded his response better but lets face it he hit the nail on the head! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals"

Morals????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Discuss this with the nurse at the clinic

There are other st1s

You can get you will be ok hope your negative and take care xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals

Morals????"

Yes I have them , might not be the same as yours but I do have them..!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

I don’t agree. But fair enough. I know you don’t agree with attached people on here, a lot don’t and I respect that. I just don’t tar everyone with the same brush and I don’t judge in public. Never have but I accept people do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Exactly and its the risk anyone takes asking stuff on an open forum x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals

Morals????

Yes I have them , might not be the same as yours but I do have them..!"

I did not meet you suddenly people become holier than though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals

Morals????

Yes I have them , might not be the same as yours but I do have them..!

I did not meet you suddenly people become holier than though "

Oops thou

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you value your relationship.. then be open and honest.. silence hides lies.

... if I found out my fella lied then he's out.. if he spoke with me.. then there's a chance relationship may work.

You are grown up and know the risks.

Get your balls back and deal with your actions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Some of the advice on here is disgustingas is your attitude. You didn’t answer his question so why bother commenting? Just scroll on

My attitude is honesty, apparently we're all meant to give him advice that he wants to here because he's on fab, im entitled to my opinion as are you

My opinion

Exactly and its the risk anyone takes asking stuff on an open forum x"

I agree but I just think the way he said it was uncalled for x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"This would be the same response either way round…. Disgusting behaviour.. tell her the truth !! I am actually stunned at anyone helping you with excuses with something so bloody serious!!

Thanks I thought I was the only one with decent morals

Morals????

Yes I have them , might not be the same as yours but I do have them..!

I did not meet you suddenly people become holier than though

Oops thou "

Omg I cant spell mean you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Wow this is fucked up.

A guy once told me when I was in trouble.

Sometimes you just gotta swallow the dick you’ve been given.

I think it’s best to come clean to her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my thoughts - I really would only tell her if it’s a last resort and the worst happens. I’ve seen a couple of posts saying open communication is the way, but in honesty, it’s difficult to come back from and move on for her if she now thinks you’re actually gay and have been living a lie.

If it’s a one off, I’m sure you’ve had a shock and been brought down to earth again, so a good excuse - lockdown depression is a good one, or anxiety, then move on.

If you continue to struggle to shake off thinking about cock, then perhaps you need to consider where you go from there and a conversation may need to happen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you imagine what this guy is going through right now? 6 week's of thinking the worst. He doesn't need us bashing him when he's probably beating himself up daily for his actions, he clearly knows what he's done. And he just asked for some advice. Not for people to come down hard on him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

What would you want if the roles were reversed?

Missy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you imagine what this guy is going through right now? 6 week's of thinking the worst. He doesn't need us bashing him when he's probably beating himself up daily for his actions, he clearly knows what he's done. And he just asked for some advice. Not for people to come down hard on him."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

[Removed by poster at 15/06/21 23:21:31]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Sadly I think the only way to get through this is continue to lie to her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

OP I think there's some good and not so good advice here.

Sometimes life provides an opening for the best case scenario. This is a messy and complex situation and I'm so glad you are wise and caring enough to know not to have sex with your partner in this time. But perhaps this is an opportunity to work out what is important. If I had known my partner was seeing someone else I wouldnt have had sex with him. He took away my choice by lying and not being honest. That's a very painful and very complex hurt. My psyche knew there was something wrong and I questioned myself and overrode my instincts.

In my experience, honesty is always best policy even if it causes a mess. I would want to know. I know its only one way of doing it but you've asked so that's my input.

I would encourage you to take the opportunity to express who you are and what you've been drawn to and give your partner the full picture. In the end though, it's what feels OK in your heart.

All the best! I'm sure you will be healthy and fine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

What would you want if the roles were reversed?

Missy x"

This is a very good, useful question. I often ask myself that in a predicament. Although...you could ask/feel into what would she want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "

So pleased for you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "
yay result

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "

Really really happy for you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Bud I think you need to talk to your your doctor about it.

Talk to the wife and tell her you're sorry and you want to do marriage counseling.

It really depends how strong your relationship is dependent on what direction you go.

Good luck bud

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *laymateteeMan
over a year ago

bristol

Be honest but I have a feeling that from the lack of response from the OP he just started this thread to see how people would react. This is not something that you would ask for advice for on a forum. Just my thoughts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "

Very pleased for you. I bet it's a relief? X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Be honest but I have a feeling that from the lack of response from the OP he just started this thread to see how people would react. This is not something that you would ask for advice for on a forum. Just my thoughts "

Doubt it he was very concerned

Give the man a break x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you slipped and fell on a dick, then to keep up the facade get in touch with injury lawyers for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Tell her you slipped and fell on a dick, then to keep up the facade get in touch with injury lawyers for you "

Threads over

Dear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/07/21 16:46:17]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"[Removed by poster at 14/07/21 16:46:17]"

Apparently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell her you slipped and fell on a dick, then to keep up the facade get in touch with injury lawyers for you

Threads over

Dear"

Not if he goes back for seconds (or thirds)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good end result so there OP... but a wake up call at the same time...Once youve opened the Bi Pandoras box theres no going back.. been there and opened many more boxes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

say you caught your knob in your zip and it hurts too much to have sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Get your pal to bite you hard tell her you was bitten in a bar fight and the police say that the suspect may be carrying a STD as a known drug user and you want to get checked before you have intercourse without protection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "

That is such good news!

Happy for you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

remember the lesson.

life is precious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very relieved for your wife.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought let you lot know, after two tests now it's all clear no hiv. Thank you for everyones advice and help. "

Great news.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arksjamesMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Now if she was your wife, rather than your partner, not having sex for 6 weeks would not be unusual!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice needed please.

Recently had sex with a man, I was bottom however the condom split.

Went to sex clinic and now I'm on a corse of pep (hiv medicine)

I'm currently with my partner and I cannot have sex with her untill the pills have been taken and a second hiv test is done this is about 6 weeks.

Has any1 else been in this situation and if so what reason did you use to not have sex with your partner.

I've had the snip so we don't use protection, so cnt just start using condoms with her.

Get married. You don’t have to have sex ever again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now if she was your wife, rather than your partner, not having sex for 6 weeks would not be unusual!!

Beat me to it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread