FabSwingers.com forum: The beautiful people

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why I always get shit customer service. It's a curse looking like a cross between Baron Greenback and Alan Carr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have? "

On the other hand, do you think more attractive people get treated worse. They are believed to be full of themselves, she’s so gorgeous, I bet she’s a bitch, that kind of thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

I'm stunning and people treat me like crap because I'm better looking than them and a better person than them

They are all just jealous

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

No I don't think I conciously do. When I used to work as a bar maid and waitress. I didn't care what they looked liked, but if they were rude or clicked their fingers or called me girl then I might have bumped them down the order a little bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We probably treat them more favourably (whatever that actually means) because we find them attractive

So it's possible we interact with them more and are trying to impress them in the hope they'll find us attractive too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends wholly on the context. For initial 1 or 2 minute interactions, I would say we do but for the people we work with for example, it can start out that way, but it can quickly become more about how well they work or their personality.

In short, the longer you know someone, the less important it becomes

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Yes. Because we hope they will want to bump uglies with us if we are nice to them

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

General atteactive, no I don't treat them more favourable. Just because you are attractive does not make you more worthy of being treated favourable.

If it is somebody I find that extra more attractive personal to me then yes, I do. This is because I have a personal interest in them, be it a bit of hope and a pipe dream that a connection may happen or just I take a liking to them.

Does that make sense? In my head it does, but when reading it back I'm not so sure...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are studies done which prove that people who are deemed attractive recieve more attention, are listened to longer, often are agreed with quicker ect.

I will look and see if I can find the article I read although it was a long time ago.

I believe its true. But I also believe that some people can use personality to overcome an unattractive face or body. Some people just have a natural charisma.

I was never a looker but I have always found people saying yes to me because of my personality.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have?

On the other hand, do you think more attractive people get treated worse. They are believed to be full of themselves, she’s so gorgeous, I bet she’s a bitch, that kind of thing? "

Interesting, there are definitely negatives as well. These stereotypes often come from people having their egos pampered though, don’t they? Is there an element of truth or just bias in them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"No I don't think I conciously do. When I used to work as a bar maid and waitress. I didn't care what they looked liked, but if they were rude or clicked their fingers or called me girl then I might have bumped them down the order a little bit.

You did that too? Rude people always came last with me

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"Yes. Because we hope they will want to bump uglies with us if we are nice to them

"
hasn't worked for me so far

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think "

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have? "

I think it also comes down the their sense of

entitlement. But yes I have seen it happy so many times. We shouldn’t do it and treat everyone as equal but first impressions do matter

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

You did that too? Rude people always came last with me"

Totally did, but I think in general I think if you smile and come across as friendly then people respond to that more than someone's appearance.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's a person's attitude that defines how I treat them, not their looks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have?

On the other hand, do you think more attractive people get treated worse. They are believed to be full of themselves, she’s so gorgeous, I bet she’s a bitch, that kind of thing? "
I think on here maybe. Jealousy and envy are real. But in the local supermarket? Or at the butcher? No.

If you are polite and nice then people will treat you politely and nice.

I work with a factory of adult children. The venom is real. Attractive women are subject to jealousy and envy but it's usually subconsciously.

The attractive women who are down to earth are usually really well liked. The people who carry themselves like they are special get the jealousy from other women.

The lads are simpler. Good looking ladies get help with their work, attention ect.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have? "

I think it’s pretty well studied and understood that more attractive people have it easier in my aspects of life.

From career to friendship to relationships.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though "

The problem with personal opinions is that we often can’t see or won’t admit our own biases.

It’s very easy for people in here to say “I judge by their character not their looks”.

But what they do in the real world, unbeknownst to themselves, is most likely very different

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though

The problem with personal opinions is that we often can’t see or won’t admit our own biases.

It’s very easy for people in here to say “I judge by their character not their looks”.

But what they do in the real world, unbeknownst to themselves, is most likely very different "

I agree with this. I'm sure I'm also guilty of it too.

We have the image of who we like to think we are, we try to walk the line of that image. In reality we all fail to truely live up to it completely - though few would ever admit to it.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though

The problem with personal opinions is that we often can’t see or won’t admit our own biases.

It’s very easy for people in here to say “I judge by their character not their looks”.

But what they do in the real world, unbeknownst to themselves, is most likely very different "

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That will explain why my MOT, has came in at Three figures

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

You did that too? Rude people always came last with me

Totally did, but I think in general I think if you smile and come across as friendly then people respond to that more than someone's appearance. "

I used to do it to, the more they clicked their fingers or waved their money the longer they waited with me

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though

The problem with personal opinions is that we often can’t see or won’t admit our own biases.

It’s very easy for people in here to say “I judge by their character not their looks”.

But what they do in the real world, unbeknownst to themselves, is most likely very different

I agree with this. I'm sure I'm also guilty of it too.

We have the image of who we like to think we are, we try to walk the line of that image. In reality we all fail to truely live up to it completely - though few would ever admit to it."

That’s quite a cynical world view

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/beautiful-people-make-more-money-2014-11%3famp

Not the article I read but a good summary I think

Yep, I’m more interested in people’s personal opinions and perceptions than academic studies. Thanks for digging it out though

The problem with personal opinions is that we often can’t see or won’t admit our own biases.

It’s very easy for people in here to say “I judge by their character not their looks”.

But what they do in the real world, unbeknownst to themselves, is most likely very different

I agree with this. I'm sure I'm also guilty of it too.

We have the image of who we like to think we are, we try to walk the line of that image. In reality we all fail to truely live up to it completely - though few would ever admit to it.

That’s quite a cynical world view"

Cynical or realistic? Pretending the world isn’t how it is does no one any benefit

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I probably do but then I'm only attracted to people I know and like as people. I don't find strangers attractive so I guess it's reasonable that yes I will treat people I know and like more favourably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of studies on u. nconscious bias and this is definitely one of them.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

You did that too? Rude people always came last with me

Totally did, but I think in general I think if you smile and come across as friendly then people respond to that more than someone's appearance.

I used to do it to, the more they clicked their fingers or waved their money the longer they waited with me "

But say you had two very qual personalities in terms of politeness for the situation, but one of them was so much more attractive. It is highley likely that subconsciously at least you would may favour the attractive person/group.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

You did that too? Rude people always came last with me

Totally did, but I think in general I think if you smile and come across as friendly then people respond to that more than someone's appearance.

I used to do it to, the more they clicked their fingers or waved their money the longer they waited with me

Personally I responded to those that acted with respect and politeness, they were served in order. It was only the extreme cases that were made to wait

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Lots of studies on u. nconscious bias and this is definitely one of them. "

Yep, I’m not asking academics though, I’m asking the forum users

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The truth is we forget attractive people (those generally thought so) noticed by how others treat them.

Are at times bumbling, boring and suffer with insecurity issues too.

After all surface level admiration while nice is not the only part of wholeness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think in general 'attractive' people can be seen as the superior in a world where looks are judged constantly.

Me personally, I don't care what you look like. I treat everyone I meet with the same respect and take them at face value. Looks are great if you have them but when they fade, the only thing that matters is a good person left underneath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's why I always get shit customer service. It's a curse looking like a cross between Baron Greenback and Alan Carr

It’s because you refuse to smile, my friend.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Lots of studies on u. nconscious bias and this is definitely one of them.

Yep, I’m not asking academics though, I’m asking the forum users"

I think the reason people are giving the studies is because it’s quite a serious topic where opinion doesn’t help anyone.

This would be like talking about if racism still exists and instead of looking at the facts and figures we take a few “I don’t judge by skin colour” forum opinions and wipe out hands with the affair. It’s kinda pointless

I think to make change we need to be made aware of biases we hold we don’t know about. Education is key in changing the world and you can’t be taught what you can’t see.

Just my opinion. Otherwise the thread is just a massive “tell us how you don’t judge people” humble brag, self back patting ego theatre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from Granny’s thread about ‘would you or wouldn’t you’, it’s set me thinking about how we treat others.

Do you believe that we treat people that we find attractive more favourably than we would do anyone else?

Why do you think that is and what effect does it have?

On the other hand, do you think more attractive people get treated worse. They are believed to be full of themselves, she’s so gorgeous, I bet she’s a bitch, that kind of thing? "

Quite so. I’ve seen it (others being the beautiful one, of course, not me).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not only beauty. It’s power, position, status, wealth...all manner of societal ‘privileges’ that the general population have a twisted perception of.

You’re treated between and worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* better (not between

)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Lots of studies on u. nconscious bias and this is definitely one of them.

Yep, I’m not asking academics though, I’m asking the forum users

I think the reason people are giving the studies is because it’s quite a serious topic where opinion doesn’t help anyone.

I think to make change we need to be made aware of biases we hold we don’t know about. Education is key in changing the world and you can’t be taught what you can’t see.

Just my opinion. Otherwise the thread is just a massive “tell us how you don’t judge people” humble brag, self back patting ego theatre "

That in itself is an interesting discussion though, how the opinions of people compare to the results of such studies.

I refuse to say facts with certain studies because more often than not the sample size is far from ideal on such a subject that can potential have varied results due to human nature.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 01/06/21 11:13:27]

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Think it happens in life! Not just looks though! Age etc., for instance the youngsters at work get verbally abused in our job! I never have! We online pickers! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I probably do but then I'm only attracted to people I know and like as people. I don't find strangers attractive so I guess it's reasonable that yes I will treat people I know and like more favourably. "
I don't find you attractive.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Attraction doesn't come from looks for me.

I find the personality attractive - so if I get on with someone and they're a nice person I will treat them more favourably.

If they are a twat then they don't deserve to be treated favourably anyway but I wouldn't fancy them, no matter how apparently attractive they are on face value.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Attraction doesn't come from looks for me.

I find the personality attractive - so if I get on with someone and they're a nice person I will treat them more favourably.

If they are a twat then they don't deserve to be treated favourably anyway but I wouldn't fancy them, no matter how apparently attractive they are on face value.

That’s interesting, I hadn’t thought of it from the position of Demi sexuals.

In your situation, if you find someone attractive, do you treat them differently from someone who is a nice person but you’re not attracted to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes on a personal level. If someone is being suggestive or I can feel them looking at me in a certain way, if it’s someone I don’t feel is attractive I’ll make some attempt to shield myself, for example, fold my arms to hide my boobs or if I’m wearing a dress/skirt or shorts I’ll pull the hem down to try and cover myself.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I think I probably do in the initial seconds of an interaction.

We are all constantly judging, whether we're aware of it or not. In the first seconds of meeting someone all you really have to go on is appearance, so that's what the judgement is based on. I like to think it wouldn't be overt, I wouldn't treat someone badly if I don't find them attractive, but if I'm presenting to a crowd I probably make eye contact with people I find attractive more than with people I don't.

As soon as we interact other factors come into play - how they talk, how they behave, whether they're unspeakably rude, if they are really good conversationalists. First flash of an impression will usually be on appearance though I guess.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im more attracted to personality and friendly approachable looking people in real life. If someone gives of a good vibe id be more attracted to that than good looks. I also worked in the pub and the people that where nice and friendly i went over and above to help them regardless of looks

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