FabSwingers.com forum: Being scared of people calling your bluff?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The title phrasing likely isn’t correct but bear with me.

Most people are thick skinned and will ignore what is not for them BUT some people take it a bit more personally. (People being men, women and couples and TV/TS).

On here theres a lot of:

‘You didn't reply to my message, you're rude’

‘You won’t agree to meet me you’re a timewaster’

‘You won’t send more pictures, you’re fake’

‘Why are you on fab and not meeting? You’re just a tease’

Is it time to start owning these terms that are used to ‘pressure’ people into things? ‘You didn’t reply to my message, you’re rude’.....’yes i am rude whats next?’

I get there is some power play in these situations and pushing of boundaries hence why people say things to get a reaction. At the same time is there really pleasure in meeting someone who you know didn't really want to meet you or a message reply that wasn’t as positive as you’d hoped?

Thems by thoughts anyway. What say youse?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh I love this tactic. I take great pleasure in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the easiest option is just ignore anything like that

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I know exactly what you mean, it's so tiring having fab hotties trying to pressure me into meeting them.

Sometimes I think oh ffs use me for you filthy pleasure don't worry about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find they usually have a go then block me!

Saves me a job!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know exactly what you mean, it's so tiring having fab hotties trying to pressure me into meeting them.

Sometimes I think oh ffs use me for you filthy pleasure don't worry about me

I keep begging but hes not having any of it!

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I just ignore it until the point they need a reality check and then my not very nice side comes out to play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A short sharp 'fuck off cunt' usually does the job

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I don't get any of the above, and if I did I'd ignore it.

Why waste energy on idiots?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I like the idea but I haven't had any horrible messages, only messages from horny men who are to lazy to read.

My filters are open as I enjoy random interesting conversations.

I am not interested in meeting men and often send messages along the lines if " Thanks for your message. Unfortunately, you seem to have been so distracted by the photos you didn't read the text "

Responses vary... but I often get apologies.

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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago

Chessington/epsom

just blank and block x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is lots of passive aggressive behaviour on here. Know what you want and don’t want and stick with it

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By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

But in a way, they basically out themselves to being someone no one should meet. People can end up in some seriously uncomfortable situations with those types.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is lots of passive aggressive behaviour on here. Know what you want and don’t want and stick with it"

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to take it personally. Now I just remind myself that they don't know me and react accordingly.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I know exactly what you mean, it's so tiring having fab hotties trying to pressure me into meeting them.

Sometimes I think oh ffs use me for you filthy pleasure don't worry about me

I keep begging but hes not having any of it!

To be fair I'm so close to just lying back and thinking of England, one or two more begs will see you win

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

If someone can't take the time to actually get to know me for who I am, then they are definitely not for me.

I dont know how many times I've had to say no, just to get a your loss then reply

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Good luck to anybody attempting to goad me into a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is what the block button is for

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Good luck to anybody attempting to goad me into a response.

Oh really, what’s that meant to mean...!?!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

I love the idea in theory Smarty but I won't practise it.

I won't wear the label they want to use to manipulate me with. I won't allow it to become self fulfilling......

They can just fuck off in their own pathetic slime - I don't retaliate and I don't absorb.

Not from random losers in any case.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Good luck to anybody attempting to goad me into a response.

Oh really, what’s that meant to mean...!?!

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Abingdon

We’ve been called fake because to don’t do phone calls or FaceTime, if that is how they feel then ow well guess we are fake

Lily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know exactly what you mean, it's so tiring having fab hotties trying to pressure me into meeting them.

Sometimes I think oh ffs use me for you filthy pleasure don't worry about me

I keep begging but hes not having any of it!

To be fair I'm so close to just lying back and thinking of England, one or two more begs will see you win

Panics*

Oh god oh god oh god, what do I do now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who should 'own' the phrases? Me or them?

They say (for example) that I am homophobic or racist for not wanting to meet them. I say ok I am a homophobic racist. Now what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a time wasting fake because I'm not looking to meet, I'll own it. It makes me giggle when they realise they won't change my mind

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm a time wasting fake because I'm not looking to meet, I'll own it. It makes me giggle when they realise they won't change my mind

I'm a frigid slut.

Because words apparently mean things

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By *ungislanderMan
over a year ago

Highlands and islands

I love how the profiles with no pics at all always want my face pic but never show anything of themselves. And they call me the fake profile haha.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"I find the easiest option is just ignore anything like that "

huh huh agree with you there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a time wasting fake because I'm not looking to meet, I'll own it. It makes me giggle when they realise they won't change my mind

I'm a frigid slut.

Because words apparently mean things"

We are doomed to burn in the fires of hell.....What a shame

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A short sharp 'fuck off cunt' usually does the job"

Best answer ever

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"A short sharp 'fuck off cunt' usually does the job

Best answer ever

"
Yep

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

When my filters are off I don’t normally get that kind of response anyway. But the odd times I do, I’m afraid passive aggressive behaviour never illicit a response from me other than “dick” said in my head along with an eye roll and then a block, that kinda person doesn’t deserve to see any more pics I might post.

Being here on our couple account only does help cut back on the messages - not totally, but it’s definitely a help.

Lex

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's really straining having to turn down so many people but I just can't split myself into a thousand pieces

On a more serious note I'd never feel like I need to prove anything to anyone and I wouldn't meet because I feel pressured into doing so.

If it's mutual then all good but there's no point meeting someone just to prove something

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

To date, the best / worst interaction we have had on this site (outside of of people straight up being dishonest about themselves) was when a couple messaged us about 10 years ago.

It was one of those situations where we had posted a meet request but had not used filters appropriately.

We get a simple "Hi, how are you. Would you like to meet tonight? Tell us where to be if you do" and attached was a photo of them both.

They where not for us for multiple reasons. They where 30 years older than us (at the time), they only met bi male couples (I'm straight), she wasn't involved other than "watching" and, being blunt about it, they looked like they where missing a full set of teeth between them.

So I just politely replied "Sorry, not for us.".

The response was, well make your own minds up. It was:

"How do you know? You've not even met us".

Again, trying to be polite, I just said, "I just know you're not what we are looking for. Bye".

"Give us a chance. We're great fun".

At that point I just hit block (should have done it sooner).

Now this was a fully verified if not completely blank and picture-less profile so to this day I don't know if it was a piss taker or not but nothing has beat that response. I don't know if it was just sad or someone making a passive aggressive play. I just know it changed how we deal with stuff on Fab.

Ever since then, we just don't mess around. We just block if not for us or any red flags go up. Certainly don't take offense if people say no to us or block us either. Cant please everyone so don't try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is lots of passive aggressive behaviour on here. Know what you want and don’t want and stick with it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is what the block button is for

Exactly...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a time wasting fake because I'm not looking to meet, I'll own it. It makes me giggle when they realise they won't change my mind

Me too...!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be polite as rudeness is a big bug bear with me… but I must admit… I get a tad pissed off when it’s pretty clear they have not even bothered to skim over my profile.

I respond with a polite thanks but no thanks as my profile clearly states what I’m here for etc… to get a nasty reply back… the most favorite one in use I get is “good, your too fat for me anyway”!

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the easiest option is just ignore anything like that "

Exactly - I'm not going to engage with anyone pushy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a woman on here sent me a message saying why I won’t meet and they’re really annoying, I’d just say I’m owned by a trans woman who isn’t on this site and I have to ask permission. Not at all, but would try it out for fun.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It was an approach I adopted with my ex partner who would bombard me with a list of reasons I was a terrible person and partner if I was ever upset with him over anything. My response in the end was just to say he was right and therefore I can understand why he would no longer want to be with me and I would no longer subject him to being in the presence if such an awful person. It would totally throw him off.

I've also started to self identify as a snowflake for similar reasons. It kinda loses its effect as an insult when I regularly refer to myself as one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont even read just delete, if I started replying when I was in a foul mood it would escalate nastily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was an approach I adopted with my ex partner who would bombard me with a list of reasons I was a terrible person and partner if I was ever upset with him over anything. My response in the end was just to say he was right and therefore I can understand why he would no longer want to be with me and I would no longer subject him to being in the presence if such an awful person. It would totally throw him off.

I've also started to self identify as a snowflake for similar reasons. It kinda loses its effect as an insult when I regularly refer to myself as one. "

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Let them spin but I invest zero energy into such uninvited thoughts, offers etc.

Stick with your objectives and don't divert.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've also started to self identify as a snowflake for similar reasons. It kinda loses its effect as an insult when I regularly refer to myself as one. "

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