FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Free Friday Clinic

Jump to newest
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Problems big or small, personal, health or family related. Logistical or downright silly. I'm not doing profiles (that's Diamond's job today).

I'll answer what I can.

(Yes, stuck in doors today).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Dear doctor, a friend would like to know, after a prolonged anal sex session she would be interested to know why her fanny hurts. Thankyou on behalf of a friend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really struggleing to sleep at the moment, havnt had a good night for over a week...... am getting grumpier by the day!

any advice?

j x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury


"Problems big or small, personal, health or family related. Logistical or downright silly. I'm not doing profiles (that's Diamond's job today).

I'll answer what I can.

(Yes, stuck in doors today)."

Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Is Berocca really you but on a good day.... and do they have a profile?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dr Lickety,

I feel the need to skive off work today as I've got the raging horn for some unknown reason.

Can you please write me a note. Nothing serious like leprosy, Ebola or pre-senile dementia - just something to keep me looking poorly for a few hours!

A stubbed toe, an unfortunate 'cock stuck in zipper' incident - ill leave it up to you!

Thanks in advance!

Hugs and kisses!! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Dr Lickety,

I feel the need to skive off work today as I've got the raging horn for some unknown reason.

Can you please write me a note. Nothing serious like leprosy, Ebola or pre-senile dementia - just something to keep me looking poorly for a few hours!

A stubbed toe, an unfortunate 'cock stuck in zipper' incident - ill leave it up to you!

Thanks in advance!

Hugs and kisses!! X "

Ive the cure,, my naked body gets rid of all male horniness.. i fully dedicate my body to you and science

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear Dr Lickety,

I feel the need to skive off work today as I've got the raging horn for some unknown reason.

Can you please write me a note. Nothing serious like leprosy, Ebola or pre-senile dementia - just something to keep me looking poorly for a few hours!

A stubbed toe, an unfortunate 'cock stuck in zipper' incident - ill leave it up to you!

Thanks in advance!

Hugs and kisses!! X

Ive the cure,, my naked body gets rid of all male horniness.. i fully dedicate my body to you and science "

Gets rid?

I'm pretty sure it's your fault I need the bloody sick note!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Can you please help... Morrison's (other supermarkets are available) are selling haribo sweets for 52p for a big bag,.. I've only got 46 p in my pocket,.. all denominations of coins are accepted ....ta..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Dear dr licketty,

Is a pink sock more serious than a blue waffle?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

bottle of red with dinner tonight!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear doctor, a friend would like to know, after a prolonged anal sex session she would be interested to know why her fanny hurts. Thankyou on behalf of a friend"

It's a simple matter of anatomy. The musculature surrounding the anus and the pelvic floor work in concert with each other. Either that or you she doesn't know her fanny from her anus.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Really struggleing to sleep at the moment, havnt had a good night for over a week...... am getting grumpier by the day!

any advice?

j x"

You need to look at your sleep hygiene. If your bedroom is being used for anything other than sleep you may well be sending your brain the signal that bed = reading/watching tv/sex/eating toast. Remove all activities from the bedroom. Spray your bed with lavendar and practise some self soothing massage before bedtime. Failing that join the insomniacs haunting the forum all night and try and have a laugh.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Problems big or small, personal, health or family related. Logistical or downright silly. I'm not doing profiles (that's Diamond's job today).

I'll answer what I can.

(Yes, stuck in doors today).

Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?"

How many women do you need? Perhaps they are tied up already? Could it be the type of twine you propose using? Or, have they seen your 'art' and decided that they do not wish to be immortalised in that way? Offer them sex instead of art and see if you become more successful that way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dinMan
over a year ago

Nr Biggleswade

My sausage has shrunk...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Is Berocca really you but on a good day.... and do they have a profile?"

I have never been Berocca on any day. I prefer the effervescence of Andrews... If you do find Berocca on here avoid them if they are an unnatural shade of orange. That can't be healthy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear Dr Lickety,

I feel the need to skive off work today as I've got the raging horn for some unknown reason.

Can you please write me a note. Nothing serious like leprosy, Ebola or pre-senile dementia - just something to keep me looking poorly for a few hours!

A stubbed toe, an unfortunate 'cock stuck in zipper' incident - ill leave it up to you!

Thanks in advance!

Hugs and kisses!! X

Ive the cure,, my naked body gets rid of all male horniness.. i fully dedicate my body to you and science "

That is so kind of you to help a fellow Fabster in need. I'd better write that note now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear Dr Lickety,

I feel the need to skive off work today as I've got the raging horn for some unknown reason.

Can you please write me a note. Nothing serious like leprosy, Ebola or pre-senile dementia - just something to keep me looking poorly for a few hours!

A stubbed toe, an unfortunate 'cock stuck in zipper' incident - ill leave it up to you!

Thanks in advance!

Hugs and kisses!! X "

To Whom It May Concern:

I hereby certify that Obiguy4couples is unable to work for the next two days. He has an unsightly and painful growth that needs tending to at a clinic. His appointment should leave him fully recovered but it has been known to be a recurring condition that may require additional treatment.

If he is not back at work within two days you should sack him as he is just swinging the lead.

Yours faithfully,

Dr Licketysplits

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Can you please help... Morrison's (other supermarkets are available) are selling haribo sweets for 52p for a big bag,.. I've only got 46 p in my pocket,.. all denominations of coins are accepted ....ta.."

I am so sorry to hear of your plight. Unfortunately, as a free clinic and in these times of austerity our cuts mean that we do not have spare change. Many clients are suffering in this way. Write to your MP and complain that you were not able to receive the service you expected due to the cuts.

I suggest you offer to share the bag of Haribo with someone who can afford to go halves with you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear dr licketty,

Is a pink sock more serious than a blue waffle?"

I feel both should be avoided, both for mental, physical and aesthetic wellbeing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"bottle of red with dinner tonight!!"

This, of course, depends on the food you will be serving, the wine you will be drinking and the size of the bottle. If you are not eating alone you may need to get another bottle in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"My sausage has shrunk... "

Sadly, they all do. Taking them off the heat a little earlier will reduce that shrinking effect.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"Can you please help... Morrison's (other supermarkets are available) are selling haribo sweets for 52p for a big bag,.. I've only got 46 p in my pocket,.. all denominations of coins are accepted ....ta..

I am so sorry to hear of your plight. Unfortunately, as a free clinic and in these times of austerity our cuts mean that we do not have spare change. Many clients are suffering in this way. Write to your MP and complain that you were not able to receive the service you expected due to the cuts.

I suggest you offer to share the bag of Haribo with someone who can afford to go halves with you."

Do you think o should offer sexual services to ladies to raise these funds..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Can you please help... Morrison's (other supermarkets are available) are selling haribo sweets for 52p for a big bag,.. I've only got 46 p in my pocket,.. all denominations of coins are accepted ....ta..

I am so sorry to hear of your plight. Unfortunately, as a free clinic and in these times of austerity our cuts mean that we do not have spare change. Many clients are suffering in this way. Write to your MP and complain that you were not able to receive the service you expected due to the cuts.

I suggest you offer to share the bag of Haribo with someone who can afford to go halves with you.

Do you think o should offer sexual services to ladies to raise these funds.. "

The offer of Haribo is likely to be more appealing. Once you have purchased the Haribo you still have half a bag in order to entice women into sex. By all reports, many will do anything for Haribo.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury


"Problems big or small, personal, health or family related. Logistical or downright silly. I'm not doing profiles (that's Diamond's job today).

I'll answer what I can.

(Yes, stuck in doors today).

Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?

How many women do you need? Perhaps they are tied up already? Could it be the type of twine you propose using? Or, have they seen your 'art' and decided that they do not wish to be immortalised in that way? Offer them sex instead of art and see if you become more successful that way."

Thank you for your help Dr Lickety.

First of I only need one or two ladies at a time, I only use the best quality ropes and knots. Most people that see my art are reasonably impressed, I did an impromptu demonstration at a recent party in the West Midlands. After restricting the young lady I played with her for a couple of hours, I think all that participated had a lot of fun.

I think it may be this 50 shades stuff causing all the problems, ladies are starting to reject the pure art that is Shibari just to get spanked on the butt.

I do offer sex and have been very successful with that side of things on here. I am supposed to be getting together a series of images for end of year exam. I have lots of examples of my work on other sites, but for some reason I have not been able to load them here. Still enough on that subject as I nearly got another ban last time I brought that subject up.

Yours knottily Prohibit-As

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?

How many women do you need? Perhaps they are tied up already? Could it be the type of twine you propose using? Or, have they seen your 'art' and decided that they do not wish to be immortalised in that way? Offer them sex instead of art and see if you become more successful that way.

Thank you for your help Dr Lickety.

First of I only need one or two ladies at a time, I only use the best quality ropes and knots. Most people that see my art are reasonably impressed, I did an impromptu demonstration at a recent party in the West Midlands. After restricting the young lady I played with her for a couple of hours, I think all that participated had a lot of fun.

I think it may be this 50 shades stuff causing all the problems, ladies are starting to reject the pure art that is Shibari just to get spanked on the butt.

I do offer sex and have been very successful with that side of things on here. I am supposed to be getting together a series of images for end of year exam. I have lots of examples of my work on other sites, but for some reason I have not been able to load them here. Still enough on that subject as I nearly got another ban last time I brought that subject up.

Yours knottily Prohibit-As"

Ah, so it's a problem of persuasion. Ask the women you have enticed with sex just as they orgasm. They should be offering a yes at that point. Good luck with your end of year exhibition.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury


"Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?

How many women do you need? Perhaps they are tied up already? Could it be the type of twine you propose using? Or, have they seen your 'art' and decided that they do not wish to be immortalised in that way? Offer them sex instead of art and see if you become more successful that way.

Thank you for your help Dr Lickety.

First of I only need one or two ladies at a time, I only use the best quality ropes and knots. Most people that see my art are reasonably impressed, I did an impromptu demonstration at a recent party in the West Midlands. After restricting the young lady I played with her for a couple of hours, I think all that participated had a lot of fun.

I think it may be this 50 shades stuff causing all the problems, ladies are starting to reject the pure art that is Shibari just to get spanked on the butt.

I do offer sex and have been very successful with that side of things on here. I am supposed to be getting together a series of images for end of year exam. I have lots of examples of my work on other sites, but for some reason I have not been able to load them here. Still enough on that subject as I nearly got another ban last time I brought that subject up.

Yours knottily Prohibit-As

Ah, so it's a problem of persuasion. Ask the women you have enticed with sex just as they orgasm. They should be offering a yes at that point. Good luck with your end of year exhibition."

Thank you Dr, one last question please. Any idea how to get them to sign the model release whilst they are having the orgasm.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well it's like this Dr Licketysplits, I can't find enough women willing to get tied up for my art. Tried London, the Midlands and South West.

Any ideas?

How many women do you need? Perhaps they are tied up already? Could it be the type of twine you propose using? Or, have they seen your 'art' and decided that they do not wish to be immortalised in that way? Offer them sex instead of art and see if you become more successful that way.

Thank you for your help Dr Lickety.

First of I only need one or two ladies at a time, I only use the best quality ropes and knots. Most people that see my art are reasonably impressed, I did an impromptu demonstration at a recent party in the West Midlands. After restricting the young lady I played with her for a couple of hours, I think all that participated had a lot of fun.

I think it may be this 50 shades stuff causing all the problems, ladies are starting to reject the pure art that is Shibari just to get spanked on the butt.

I do offer sex and have been very successful with that side of things on here. I am supposed to be getting together a series of images for end of year exam. I have lots of examples of my work on other sites, but for some reason I have not been able to load them here. Still enough on that subject as I nearly got another ban last time I brought that subject up.

Yours knottily Prohibit-As

Ah, so it's a problem of persuasion. Ask the women you have enticed with sex just as they orgasm. They should be offering a yes at that point. Good luck with your end of year exhibition.

Thank you Dr, one last question please. Any idea how to get them to sign the model release whilst they are having the orgasm. "

That might be trickier to achieve. You may want to consider a finger print agreement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is Berocca really you but on a good day.... and do they have a profile?

I have never been Berocca on any day. I prefer the effervescence of Andrews... If you do find Berocca on here avoid them if they are an unnatural shade of orange. That can't be healthy."

and they make your wee orange lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dear Dr

My friend keeps forwarding me the pictures other women have sent him. This started after I refused to send him a photo of my snatch.

I am worried as the adds a little joke to each of the pictures.... and his jokes ate shit.

What should I do? Should I find a man with a better sense of humour?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

*are shit....... oops

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear Dr

My friend keeps forwarding me the pictures other women have sent him. This started after I refused to send him a photo of my snatch.

I am worried as the adds a little joke to each of the pictures.... and his jokes ate shit.

What should I do? Should I find a man with a better sense of humour?"

If all he wants is pictures of you weightlifting then I see nothing wrong with his sense of humour. Just try not to regurgitate the shit jokes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Dr

I am trying really hard to meet up with willing singles or couples in the surrey area, but it always comes to nothing, i need to meet people to get verified but i never get the chance to get verified. can you see my problem, i am not ugly so that cant be the reason.. please help

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Dear Dr

I am trying really hard to meet up with willing singles or couples in the surrey area, but it always comes to nothing, i need to meet people to get verified but i never get the chance to get verified. can you see my problem, i am not ugly so that cant be the reason.. please help"

The not verified so can't get verified can be a conundrum to get your head around. Meeting another newbie doesn't help. Get yourself photo-verified if you haven't got a personal verification. Go to a club, don't be pushy and enjoy yourself and you never know but someone might then verify you. It is a service the clinic provides for the most deserving cases only. All part of our charitable out-reach programme.

Failing that, start thread on why is it as a single guy you can't get a meet. Get really pissed off and leave the site. No verification needed for that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Clinic closes in 10 minutes. Emergency cases only.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top