FabSwingers.com forum: Epiphany

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have literally just realised the reason why I had kids;

I need help replacing my Cineworld card after losing it and I can't do it....it's ok I'll ask the boy.

I need my laptop fixing and putting office on.....It's fine, the boy will do it

My phone confuses me....the boy can sort it!

I need a new cable in my Sky box

...well guess what? ....the boy will do it

I'm old and life confuses me....but that is ok, I have a boy who knows about stuff like that.

So for all those life skills you taught your kids like using spoons and the toilet, you will he grateful for because it leads onto other things.

So if you have teens or small children have no fear, children do start being useful from the age of 20 or so

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Yes! My daughter is helping me with excel which she is a whizz at and i am not. She has already saved me hours of time. My other daughter is a great cook so cooks most nights. Its not a bad deal. I looked after them for 18 years they can look after me now!

Plus i don't know if i would have survived lockdown without them here. They are my best friends.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

20! I might have marmalized mine by then!

(Kidding of course

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20?!!!? That’s an awful lot of investment still to go!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes! My daughter is helping me with excel which she is a whizz at and i am not. She has already saved me hours of time. My other daughter is a great cook so cooks most nights. Its not a bad deal. I looked after them for 18 years they can look after me now!

Plus i don't know if i would have survived lockdown without them here. They are my best friends.

Ahh I love that! And absolutely, you deserve to put your feet up

I would not last 5 minutes without my boys, they are my rock and my world.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"20! I might have marmalized mine by then!

(Kidding of course

Honestly hang in there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"20?!!!? That’s an awful lot of investment still to go!"

I know but it does pay off

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

You mean I have to keep being nice and feeding them for many more years?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You mean I have to keep being nice and feeding them for many more years?! "

Unfortunately yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You mean I have to keep being nice and feeding them for many more years?!

Unfortunately yes "

I’m beginning to doubt the ROI too…..

I suspected an ISA would have been better than nookie, but I just had to listen to my penis didn’t I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"20! I might have marmalized mine by then!

(Kidding of course

I was thinking the same thing

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Wish I could say that they start becoming useful after 20! I've come to the conclusion that you never stop being dad, especially when last winter quarter fuel bills come in, which is often round about the time cars need new tyres etc etc etc.

A daughter that cooks! What's one of them? Dad's homemade lasagne was picked up yesterday as the school run was being done.

As for letting them loose with my laptop and phone, not a chance in hell, they know too much! Grandads secret fab life might manifest itself, along with photos of myself and friends that you usually find in top shelf magazines.

Wouldn't be without them for the world though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You mean I have to keep being nice and feeding them for many more years?!

Unfortunately yes

I’m beginning to doubt the ROI too…..

I suspected an ISA would have been better than nookie, but I just had to listen to my penis didn’t I?

But what will happen when your old and confused?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wish I could say that they start becoming useful after 20! I've come to the conclusion that you never stop being dad, especially when last winter quarter fuel bills come in, which is often round about the time cars need new tyres etc etc etc.

A daughter that cooks! What's one of them? Dad's homemade lasagne was picked up yesterday as the school run was being done.

Wouldn't be without them for the world though. "

It's true, you never stop being a parent....and they do still come home for my cooking

why I don't know, my cooking is shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"20! I might have marmalized mine by then!

(Kidding of course

)

I was thinking the same thing

Hang in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 7 year old helps me reverse the car and can build flat pack furniture

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My 7 year old helps me reverse the car and can build flat pack furniture

Starting them early! Good to see you are teaching them life skills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have literally just realised the reason why I had kids;

I need help replacing my Cineworld card after losing it and I can't do it....it's ok I'll ask the boy.

I need my laptop fixing and putting office on.....It's fine, the boy will do it

My phone confuses me....the boy can sort it!

I need a new cable in my Sky box

...well guess what? ....the boy will do it

I'm old and life confuses me....but that is ok, I have a boy who knows about stuff like that.

So for all those life skills you taught your kids like using spoons and the toilet, you will he grateful for because it leads onto other things.

So if you have teens or small children have no fear, children do start being useful from the age of 20 or so

This made me piss myself

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

This might be the case but as I have only seen my daughter's a couple of times in 20yrs it's not going to be helpful to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have literally just realised the reason why I had kids;

I need help replacing my Cineworld card after losing it and I can't do it....it's ok I'll ask the boy.

I need my laptop fixing and putting office on.....It's fine, the boy will do it

My phone confuses me....the boy can sort it!

I need a new cable in my Sky box

...well guess what? ....the boy will do it

I'm old and life confuses me....but that is ok, I have a boy who knows about stuff like that.

So for all those life skills you taught your kids like using spoons and the toilet, you will he grateful for because it leads onto other things.

So if you have teens or small children have no fear, children do start being useful from the age of 20 or so

This made me piss myself "

I've topped trumped you and shit myself...I'm on my own with that one though

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

It reminds me of the joke from the 80s about how video recorders were so complicated to schedule a recording in advance, you needed a seven-year-old to be able to do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It reminds me of the joke from the 80s about how video recorders were so complicated to schedule a recording in advance, you needed a seven-year-old to be able to do it. "

That was no joke...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have literally just realised the reason why I had kids;

I need help replacing my Cineworld card after losing it and I can't do it....it's ok I'll ask the boy.

I need my laptop fixing and putting office on.....It's fine, the boy will do it

My phone confuses me....the boy can sort it!

I need a new cable in my Sky box

...well guess what? ....the boy will do it

I'm old and life confuses me....but that is ok, I have a boy who knows about stuff like that.

So for all those life skills you taught your kids like using spoons and the toilet, you will he grateful for because it leads onto other things.

So if you have teens or small children have no fear, children do start being useful from the age of 20 or so

This made me piss myself

I've topped trumped you and shit myself...I'm on my own with that one though

Hahaha!!!

I can't lie, I'm slightly aroused

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have literally just realised the reason why I had kids;

I need help replacing my Cineworld card after losing it and I can't do it....it's ok I'll ask the boy.

I need my laptop fixing and putting office on.....It's fine, the boy will do it

My phone confuses me....the boy can sort it!

I need a new cable in my Sky box

...well guess what? ....the boy will do it

I'm old and life confuses me....but that is ok, I have a boy who knows about stuff like that.

So for all those life skills you taught your kids like using spoons and the toilet, you will he grateful for because it leads onto other things.

So if you have teens or small children have no fear, children do start being useful from the age of 20 or so

This made me piss myself

I've topped trumped you and shit myself...I'm on my own with that one though

Hahaha!!!

I can't lie, I'm slightly aroused "

Heck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And another one. We went for Breakfast and I got my card out to pay and got confused with the card reader (much to the Waitresses delight) I had to pass card and machine on to the boy who knows what to do...

I've also adopted a Waitress, she might be useful to keep as she can fetch food

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

I have teenagers, and not afraid to use them. I have no clue with tech stuff. I can just about work the tv remote.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have teenagers, and not afraid to use them. I have no clue with tech stuff. I can just about work the tv remote. "

This is me too! I have a fancy telly and it is wasted on me, I turn it on and either watch Sky or push the Netflix button....Anything else the boy is summoned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 18 year old boy makes me a coffee every night so it’s on the table waiting for me when I get home from work.

I’ve never asked him to, he just started doing it.

The other night when I stayed late at work he messaged me at 8.15 to say my coffee is going cold. Told him I’d microwave it when I finished at 9 but he had me a fresh one waiting

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Mine can make tea, cook a few meals and can use the dishwasher and washing machine when pushed.

Definitely handy for setting the TIVO and scheduling programmes, etc.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Gotta make use of them when the benefit runs out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My 18 year old boy makes me a coffee every night so it’s on the table waiting for me when I get home from work.

I’ve never asked him to, he just started doing it.

The other night when I stayed late at work he messaged me at 8.15 to say my coffee is going cold. Told him I’d microwave it when I finished at 9 but he had me a fresh one waiting

Aww what a sweetheart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc."

Under the sofa? Like the Borrowers?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mine can make tea, cook a few meals and can use the dishwasher and washing machine when pushed.

Definitely handy for setting the TIVO and scheduling programmes, etc. "

You are teaching them life skills

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc."

And their fingers are smaller as well which can be useful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Gotta make use of them when the benefit runs out

Yeah but 20 years is a long wait.

I need to borrow someone's 2 yr old to show me how to use my tv.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc.

Under the sofa? Like the Borrowers?!

Our daughter now actually sweeps up bits with her toy dustpan - I'm taking this to me she's just properly trained now. Son was put to work re-doing the flagstones in his Grandad's garden, with Mr KC as foreman. The labour they provide is invaluable to the economy

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc.

And their fingers are smaller as well which can be useful

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20.....I was getting the coal in at 8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My lad has a year to go.... I don't see any of this happening soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc."

My 16 yr old and my 18 yr old are both 6ft 3 in. There’s no way they’re fitting into confined spaces

. They’re skinny buggers though so they might fit under the sofa

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc.

My 16 yr old and my 18 yr old are both 6ft 3 in. There’s no way they’re fitting into confined spaces

. They’re skinny buggers though so they might fit under the sofa "

We make use of the 4yo for the confined space work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought people just had kids for the Child Benefit money.

Nah, they're handy for the labour. Like crawling into confined spaces* and that sort of thing

*Under the sofa to retrieve your earring etc.

My 16 yr old and my 18 yr old are both 6ft 3 in. There’s no way they’re fitting into confined spaces

. They’re skinny buggers though so they might fit under the sofa

We make use of the 4yo for the confined space work

Well I’m not bloody having another one just for that lol.

Will just have to wait for the grandkids now although my 22 year old daughter is adamant she’s never having kids, my 18 year old has no girlfriend and my 16 year old is too young for babies yet even though he’s been with his girlfriend for 2 and a half years.

Don’t think I’ll be getting grandkids anytime soon lol

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

No chance that either of our children are going near our electronics devices as even with browser histories deleted and deep cleaned they know how to recover such stuff and there are somethings we would rather they did not discover.

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