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Dad Jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Opt in below and I’ll DM You one of my terrible jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just post jokes on here for all to see?

Ps I don't want a joke sent to me, sorry.

NBVN x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why not just post jokes on here for all to see?

Ps I don't want a joke sent to me, sorry.

NBVN x "

No reason at all really just thought I’d share with those who want to share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call Bears with no ears?

B

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you call Bears with no ears?

B"

Very good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques shop. The shop keeper said, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in original condition"

"Sticks!" He replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Robber stealing a toilet

Bystander: Stop him, he’s taking the piss.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Robber stealing a toilet

Bystander: Stop him, he’s taking the piss."
he was in a police station..

They say they have nothing to go on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Robber stealing a toilet

Bystander: Stop him, he’s taking the piss.he was in a police station..

They say they have nothing to go on "

Now you’re on a roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s brown and sticky?. A brown stick

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By *mooth shaftMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

What the difference bwtween a hose pipe and a penis ??

A hose pipe goes hard when its cold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread went well for the OP!

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

Mountains aren't funny, they're hill areas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a magician without his magic?

Ian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/21 19:04:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just received a couple abusive messages in my inbox so reading these made me chuckle and have now made my Monday evening.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Robber stealing a toilet

Bystander: Stop him, he’s taking the piss.he was in a police station..

They say they have nothing to go on "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m in a brass band with my friend and he said he could play the toughest saxophone solo in the world and I said I could trump it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/21 19:35:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a magician without his magic?

Ian "

What do you call a man with a wooden head?

Edward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man from the 80’s with 3 wooden heads?

Edward Woodward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you want call a man from the 80’s with 4 wooden heads?

I don’t know either, but Edward Woodward would

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

I usually shop in a Buddhist convenience store....when you pay its no-self service..

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By *uxuriantCouple
over a year ago

Sometimes Here, Sometimes There

My friend asked me to help with his crossword. “What’s the clue?” I asked.

“Overworked postman” he said

“Overworked postman? How many letters?” I queried.

“Fucking hundreds” he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a man from the 80’s with 3 wooden heads?

Edward Woodward

"

Why does Edward Woodward have four D’s in his name?

Because otherwise he’d be Ewar Woowar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a man from the 80’s with 3 wooden heads?

Edward Woodward

Why does Edward Woodward have four D’s in his name?

Because otherwise he’d be Ewar Woowar "

That needs a “ba boom, tssst!”

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Why do elephants have grey trunks?...they all belong to the same swimming club.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friend asked me to help with his crossword. “What’s the clue?” I asked.

“Overworked postman” he said

“Overworked postman? How many letters?” I queried.

“Fucking hundreds” he said."

This ones decent

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By *hunkyfella79Man
over a year ago

Toon

What do you call a herd of wanking cows

Beef strokin off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between an Egg and a Wank ?

You can’t Beat a Wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a man from the 80’s with 3 wooden heads?

Edward Woodward

Why does Edward Woodward have four D’s in his name?

Because otherwise he’d be Ewar Woowar

That needs a “ba boom, tssst!” "

Oh but I did one, when I typed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a herd of wanking cows

Beef strokin off "

We have a winner!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate Russian dolls.

They are so full of themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread went well for the OP! "

I’m sorry your attempt to ruin this fun thread went unnoticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a chap trying to pinch a gate. I kept quiet, I didn't want him to take offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an email for a great sausage recipe

I’ll send you a link

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I usually shop in a Buddhist convenience store....when you pay its no-self service.."

I usually get my burger from there

One with everything

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By *hunkyfella79Man
over a year ago

Toon

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate Russian dolls.

They are so full of themselves!"

Does this qualify for a dad joke? It’s rather clever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m doing security at the moment in a stunning old building, the decorative ceilings are a sight to behold. They’re not the best ceilings I’ve ever seen but they’re definitely up there

I’ll see myself out

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands


"What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her."

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What did the nut say when chasing the other nut?

Imma cashew!

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