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Men treating women like a possession

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I get that there's a lot of women who like the whole master thing.

But have noticed many times on status updates and profiles where the man is talking about the lady like she's his possession and she's some sort of toy for his sexual amusement.

I'm not talking about anyone in particular more of an observation regarding the attitude many men seem to have now regards women.

Many forum posts where guy's talk about women in such a derogatory way.

So I ask do women notice this and how does it make you feel?

Do people think that due to the easy access of porn men's view women as just sex dolls rather than human being?

Have we as a society become desensitised to the point that we don't see People just objects?

Like I said this ISN'T aimed at anyone in particular just an observation.

Personally I would never ask or expect jools to do anything she doesn't want to ,I'd never force her or treat her in any way that makes her feel uncomfortable.

Everything we do is a discussion and doing it because both parties enjoy it, besides she will 100% never do anything she doesn't want to.

Which is great because I know that she won't let guy's exploit her.

But it does sicken me when I see some guy's attitudes regards women.

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By *ackboy n JillyCouple
over a year ago

essex

Totally agree with your comments, our profile states what we like and what we enjoy from meeting but my wife always has the final say with who we meet and who we don’t

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I enjoy it with partners I have a lot of trust with and a deep connection. Partners who outside of those role play scenarios absolutely do not see me as an object or possesion.

When it comes from random strangers it's an instant turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/05/21 09:27:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen couples profiles where they describe each other as sex toys. Sex meat.

The women may like being 'owned.

Porn has damaged many many perceptions.

Men's attitudes don't bother me really. Better they are open about it. Sometimes it's black humour and not real.

If they have a bad attitude but they're a decent shag their attitude is irrelevant.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I get that there's a lot of women who like the whole master thing.

But have noticed many times on status updates and profiles where the man is talking about the lady like she's his possession and she's some sort of toy for his sexual amusement.

I'm not talking about anyone in particular more of an observation regarding the attitude many men seem to have now regards women.

Many forum posts where guy's talk about women in such a derogatory way.

So I ask do women notice this and how does it make you feel?

Do people think that due to the easy access of porn men's view women as just sex dolls rather than human being?

Have we as a society become desensitised to the point that we don't see People just objects?

Like I said this ISN'T aimed at anyone in particular just an observation.

Personally I would never ask or expect jools to do anything she doesn't want to ,I'd never force her or treat her in any way that makes her feel uncomfortable.

Everything we do is a discussion and doing it because both parties enjoy it, besides she will 100% never do anything she doesn't want to.

Which is great because I know that she won't let guy's exploit her.

But it does sicken me when I see some guy's attitudes regards women.

"

Couldn't agree more OP.

I get unsolicited messages where messager says 'I'm dominant". It's an immediate delete and block from me. My experience tells me those people don't understand sub/dom and many are just sexually illiterate and selfish.

Tone in some forums also equally repels and horrifies me.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I get the whole dom/sub master dynamic , but when the guy tries to start dictating the woman's way of life and where she goes and who she sees that's no longer a dynamic.

That's narcasistic controlling behaviour.

And a know a couple of guys like this , it's bordering on abuse and I fucking loathe it with a passion .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any blokes want to lend me their mrs let me know

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By *oveAndBangCouple
over a year ago

where the mood takes us

As long as both like it and getting pleasure from this kind of kink then it's fine. It's absolutely not our cup of tea but who are we to tell others what and how to do it.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I do play a sub to a Dom role in the bedroom but only with someone I really trust. I often get messages from men trying to give me orders and it's an instant delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In everyday life yes that's something you would notice more and not tolerate. On here though, it's easy for the lines to get blurred and both men & women can cross that line.

I guess it depends what your indiviual limits and preferences are. If a person is that way, there's not much that can be done to change that attitude. All we can do as women is make sure we only do things that make us comfortable and speak up when someone crosses the line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any blokes want to lend me their mrs let me know "

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The only man I've ever listened to is my dad.

No other man will ever tell me what I'm doing, going, wearing seeing etc.

On here it's an instant block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can have the owned dynamic, and it be a consensual one. We talk a lot about what I want to do/not to do and he always respects my feelings, and listens. Plus, my safety and emotional well-being are the most important thing to him, way above everything else, that said, I’m his but I love it.

With regards to men being derogatory on here, it seems so much worse at the moment, there are comments on here every day that show disgusting misogynistic attitudes, and it’s really sad to see.

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By *lackieMan
over a year ago

Swinton

I reply to women with respect and kindness ,as there are people and not pieces of meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely. Just because I'm on fab, I think lots of men think I'm just a wank receptacle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, I see lots of posts that make me cross. I can be very submissive with a man, but it's after we've built trust and after I know he respects me as an equal and will look after me. Some men think we're just fuck holes sadly. Not all though, there are so many decent men on here too. Seeing a man stand up against misogyny is awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting observations OP. Now I’m not part of a couple on here and don’t get many derogatory messages at all from men. More along the line of I should use and abuse them so from my point of view it happens both ways.

I do think it’s a sign of the times and part of our disposable culture that many see each other as sex toys. Those 50 Shades of Blah films didn’t help but created a whole load of Mr Grey knock offs and women who think they want to be dominated. Fab is also a very convenient place to vent and maybe say/act in a way you wouldn’t usually do in your day to day lives.

Report, block and move on is my advice if you’re confronted with rudeness. Plenty of good people on here too

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'd never shame anyone's kink and I try not to have views on that.

But if I see things applied to all women or (when my messages allow) to me (because I'm not involved), I just hit block - I don't want someone like that anywhere near me.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Patriarchy is alive and well sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. It is agood Q..

With trusted partners in a dynamic this is absolutely something that i enjoy..

But i can totally understand the confusion that play + dynamic relationships bring and can see why outsiders may look in and think it is therefore OK for them to take a similar approach... But it absolutely isn't..

I also find it alarming when i see it generally

If in doubt, i would say err on the respectful side.. She will be able to pick up on the subtleties of language and intent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is a sex and fantasy site imo. Some people say they want to be put in a cage and be fed dogfood through a tube and that's their right as a personal fantasy if all parties involved are happy and I don't think it's a discussion tbh, it's just their private sex life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant stand the master thing. Instant delete.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

That sort of dynamic is not for me, although if others choose it then that’s up to them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 23/05/21 10:42:48]

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

A solid couple where you can "feel" that's their dynamic and it's truly their kink then I think it's cool they're that secure, safe, comfortable and confident doing their thing.

The other types tho, where I think to myself "dude you're barely out of nappies, have fuck all life experience and I'd not trust you to look after a houseplant let alone someones physical and emotional safety" are the ones that I find genuinely worrying

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Well "It's a sex site" so, I think some men see women as a sex object; seeing us as available for their needs, when they need it.

They treat men the same, but I get the feeling that men don't mind it so much.

Some women will be here purely for the fuck, but there's less of us asking, which makes the men stand out.

Plus, men don't moan about being used for sex

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Did I read the OP wrong?

I thought it was about how men treated women on here, not about master/sub dynamics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did I read the OP wrong?

I thought it was about how men treated women on here, not about master/sub dynamics

"

I thought it was both?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That kinda talk, weather allowed by her or not, puts me right off... But I'm not submissive at all so that may be why it bugs me as much as it does

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do think porn is in part responsible, yes. It gives unrealistic "ideals" and scenarios. It rarely depicts compassion, communication and care.

How many guys on here moan about effort needed? Fuck tons. They see getting to know someone as a hoop to jump through, when the reality is the woman/couple is simply whittling out those that don't have the same values, desires etc as them. They're applying boundaries is all, and making sure the person falls into those boundaries. I forgot my actual point with where I was heading with that

something about disposable commodity

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Did I read the OP wrong?

I thought it was about how men treated women on here, not about master/sub dynamics

I thought it was both? "

Ish.

I pointed out that the sub Dom scenario is something that people do and I understand that and not a criticism of that lifestyle if both parties are doing so of own free will,but mainly the point was how society and men in general treat and see women in a derogatory way.

I'm not sure if sites such as this empower women to take back control or feed the fire in terms of men seeing women as objects rather than equals.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

What about the women that see men as objects on here?

Most of us just don't word it as such.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Just to be “that” guy...

Not everyone objectifying a sexual partner is in the kink scene, or would be considered a Master or Dominant. I would agree that the rise and availability of some forms of extreme pornography can lead to altered perceptions in some people on how they think people want to be treated, in the same way that it allows people to articulate how they want to be treated.

D/s and M/s while part of the BDSM spectrum are completely different dynamics, and both should involve communication, negotiation and consent to maintain a healthy balance otherwise like any relationship they are likely to turn abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I noticed this. How great they can express themselves freely and enjoy their kink or fetish. I noticed also many other things which might not seem right up my street. If I don't understand them, I ask questions.. but usually i just accept I don't have to understand how other people find sexual pleasure. I'm here just to accept that it can vary from mine. Ps. Dominant doesn't come in one flavour too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did I read the OP wrong?

I thought it was about how men treated women on here, not about master/sub dynamics

I thought it was both?

Ish.

I pointed out that the sub Dom scenario is something that people do and I understand that and not a criticism of that lifestyle if both parties are doing so of own free will,but mainly the point was how society and men in general treat and see women in a derogatory way.

I'm not sure if sites such as this empower women to take back control or feed the fire in terms of men seeing women as objects rather than equals."

Both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get really annoyed by the whole owned by whoever thing. If I put I’m owned by my cat on my profile. Have to serve my feline master chicken, fish, Catfood, cooked meat everyday, people would think I’ve lost the plot.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Get really annoyed by the whole owned by whoever thing. If I put I’m owned by my cat on my profile. Have to serve my feline master chicken, fish, Catfood, cooked meat everyday, people would think I’ve lost the plot. "

Then you don't have that specific dynamic with your cat, and if you did it would be highly questionable in a sexual sense

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Did I read the OP wrong?

I thought it was about how men treated women on here, not about master/sub dynamics

I thought it was both?

Ish.

I pointed out that the sub Dom scenario is something that people do and I understand that and not a criticism of that lifestyle if both parties are doing so of own free will,but mainly the point was how society and men in general treat and see women in a derogatory way.

I'm not sure if sites such as this empower women to take back control or feed the fire in terms of men seeing women as objects rather than equals."

Can be both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get really annoyed by the whole owned by whoever thing. If I put I’m owned by my cat on my profile. Have to serve my feline master chicken, fish, Catfood, cooked meat everyday, people would think I’ve lost the plot. "

I have 6 cats. I fully understand

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about the women that see men as objects on here?

Most of us just don't word it as such. "

Don't you just hate the ....... Hand's off. He's all mine ladies..... brigade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get really annoyed by the whole owned by whoever thing. If I put I’m owned by my cat on my profile. Have to serve my feline master chicken, fish, Catfood, cooked meat everyday, people would think I’ve lost the plot. "

As a cat owner we know this is perfectly true and you’re servant to their needs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That kinda talk, weather allowed by her or not, puts me right off... But I'm not submissive at all so that may be why it bugs me as much as it does"

*whether ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get really annoyed by the whole owned by whoever thing. If I put I’m owned by my cat on my profile. Have to serve my feline master chicken, fish, Catfood, cooked meat everyday, people would think I’ve lost the plot. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well "It's a sex site" so, I think some men see women as a sex object; seeing us as available for their needs, when they need it.

They treat men the same, but I get the feeling that men don't mind it so much.

Some women will be here purely for the fuck, but there's less of us asking, which makes the men stand out.

Plus, men don't moan about being used for sex

"
Hilarious! Lay it down girl and clear the decks!! Uncomplicated and beautiful!

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