FabSwingers.com forum: Advice

By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

I have been 'moderated' when raising concerns previously, hopefully the powers that be, may allow this topic.

Why are some so harsh to newbies on here? Some will come into forums and ask questions and be turned upon by those with more experience. There are times when people express their distaste in being asked the same question all the time. How would a new member know what questions are asked all the time?

Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

everyone gets 'turned on' or had a go at sometime on here.

par for the course.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

because we want no newbies to post.... the old regulars are vanishing quicker than my hair did in my 30's...

soon it will be just 5 of us left. A lovely little number for an intimate love in.

mission accomplished.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?"
We?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A message to newbies: We were all new once. It's not about being popular, it's about having a laugh.

A message to the regulars. Have more patience.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I love newbies!

But I couldn't eat a whole one, I've tried.

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?We?

By 'We' I meant those that have been here for some time Femme.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

as far as i have seen,all newbies get a welcome from older forum members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suppose the same questions problem can be alleviated by using the search function, but am afraid everything else is just life, brush yourself down and don't worry about the minor inconveniences

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"A message to newbies: We were all new once. It's not about being popular, it's about having a laugh.

A message to the regulars. Have more patience.

Totally agree

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?We?

By 'We' I meant those that have been here for some time Femme. "
ok, i get ya....soooo.....in four years how many newbies do ya think have become regular posters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ususly nice to newbies, and welcome them, but if i read another why cant i get a shag post, and lets not forget they get a time after they join before they can post, but can still read, its not hard

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"as far as i have seen,all newbies get a welcome from older forum members

Really Lacey??? Have a look the next time a newbie speaks about lack of meets. Or why women don't respond to winks/messages. Look at the replies and question how welcomed you would feel?

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By *inkyScot22Man
over a year ago

Anniesland

It happens on every forum, newbies assume they are the first to ask the question and so don't bother to use the forum's elegantly crafted search function, queue regulars moaning and newbie running for the hills. Very common sight wherever there is a forum...

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?We?

By 'We' I meant those that have been here for some time Femme. ok, i get ya....soooo.....in four years how many newbies do ya think have become regular posters?

The thick skinned ones!!!

Please don't assume or think that I am suggesting that all new posters get the same treatment. There are some newbies who will posyt things and I just wait the deluge of what is coming next.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the thread you are talking about I don't think anyone was mean or personal to the op other than saying it as it is.

There are a lot of men and a lot of them do have shit profiles.

The OP in question was in my opinion one of those who fell into the trap of assuming that he had found 'easyshagsville' and seemed disconcerted that things were different than he expected.

When he didn't have people siding with him, he left.

I'm sorry, but that says more about him than those that posted.

Having said that, post disappearance a couple of snearing comments were posted which in retrospect were uncalled for.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"as far as i have seen,all newbies get a welcome from older forum members

Really Lacey??? Have a look the next time a newbie speaks about lack of meets. Or why women don't respond to winks/messages. Look at the replies and question how welcomed you would feel?"

look further down to the guy who was welcomed, given advice and came back to say thanks

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

In my most humble opinion it might be advantageous to have a few stickys for faq's

There are things that newbies need to know and for some older posters to see the same questions asked several times a day can be tedious. The less patient among us (myself included at times) can sometimes snap

If you are still here in a while, then maybe you will understand.

In the meantime, join in and keep on posting. Especially on the tell lies about the one above threads. A great way to get noticed loved/despised (delete as applicable)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thumpers, mum knew the answer

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"How would a new member know what questions are asked all the time?

The search button.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

People will see what they want to see, over the last three months ive noticed lots more "regular" posters. The only time new people get hostile reactions is when the first thread they post is having a go at other members. Some come on just to troll. Ive never once seen a newbie post some thing nice or ordinary and get jumped on. In fact lots go out the way to welcome newbies. But if you want to see the negative rather than the positive then thats up to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi all..I've tried to become a regular forum user over the last few weeks. Sometimes you get over looked by more regular users but other times you can join in. I think its just one of those forum things. Doesnt offend me if people dont reply or find anything i have written interesting but I have learnt alot by reading advice written by others which i have taken on board. Maybe take a back seat and watch and learn from what is being talked about

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"People will see what they want to see, over the last three months ive noticed lots more "regular" posters. The only time new people get hostile reactions is when the first thread they post is having a go at other members. Some come on just to troll. Ive never once seen a newbie post some thing nice or ordinary and get jumped on. In fact lots go out the way to welcome newbies. But if you want to see the negative rather than the positive then thats up to you"

That's pretty much how I see it, many of the last few months newbies are fast becoming the new regular posters, it's just natural progression and rebirth of the forums, and has probably always been that way.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Hi all..I've tried to become a regular forum user over the last few weeks. Sometimes you get over looked by more regular users but other times you can join in. I think its just one of those forum things. Doesnt offend me if people dont reply or find anything i have written interesting but I have learnt alot by reading advice written by others which i have taken on board. Maybe take a back seat and watch and learn from what is being talked about

I do think certain threads are dominated by regulars, because they know so much about each other and newbies wouldnt really have a clue what they where talking about. However, i think there are far more threads that anyone can join in on. If someone doesnt quote something or reply to something you have said they just may not have anything to reply with. I know from being a regular i could put one thread up and get 100 replies and another thread up and get no replies.

Welcome to the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

spot on...

the more regular posters just now are relative newbies and that is what is organic about the forums.

I think it is good to see... and long may it continue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suppose the same questions problem can be alleviated by using the search function, but am afraid everything else is just life, brush yourself down and don't worry about the minor inconveniences

i know you can search for previous threads but sometimes its good to discuss topics again, maybe with a different set of people who posted before.

i am sure if a guy started a discussion on football in the pub, his mates wouldnt turn round and say 'shut up,we discussd this last week'

i agree to a degree with OP, sometimes newbies do get a roasting from some of the regulars, which isnt really fair. If you dont like a newbie post just ignore and move on.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I'm against badgering people for repeating subjects, it would be easier to ignore a thread if you didn't want to join in just because it has been done to death.

Keep posting threads newbies....forgive me if I ignore the shit ones though, there is no offence meant.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I don't necessarily agree that newbies get put down by the regulars. A lot of the time it is from long term members who are infrequent posters. I know of a couple of members that only post when slagging someone off.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I have been 'moderated' when raising concerns previously, hopefully the powers that be, may allow this topic.

Why do we take pleasure in making others feel so low in a public forum?"

I think it's unwarranted, and hypersensitive of those that do jump on people. I think some of those who react in that way are hypersensitive to being critiqued back for doing it, or fervently deny they are doing so despite such behaviour being none other than it is.

In all fairness there are lots that come onto the forum out of the blue and ask green-gilled questions that yes have been answered a million and one times, but these are bread and butter questions that in all fairness on another kind of forum structure would be 'stickies' and permanently on display in an easy enough way for users to find. Alternatively some threads could be moved to a FAQ section, but there's pros and cons against changing structure and site feedback is the place for that.

There is an element who big up themselves at the expense of treading on others, but they are relatively small in number. Most are here to have a good time, so just skip over those that you don't have to listen to and have fun with the ones you choose to.

Lastly the forum is what you make it, so if you want to make a difference to it, then you'd best stick around and become part of the furniture. Just walking away and saying 'nah' is not a solution if you feel that things could be different. You have your say, and others will either agree or disagree with you on it. It's up to you.

Wolf

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

i know you can search for previous threads but sometimes its good to discuss topics again, maybe with a different set of people who posted before.

i am sure if a guy started a discussion on football in the pub, his mates wouldnt turn round and say 'shut up,we discussd this last week'

i agree to a degree with OP, sometimes newbies do get a roasting from some of the regulars, which isnt really fair. If you dont like a newbie post just ignore and move on."

Great post and so true.

People need to use some respect on the forums with regulars and newbies alike. If other peoples posts annoy anyone that much then do what Admin ask you to do on the summary at the top of the forum rules.

http://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Just as a matter of minor interest why do some people get angry with the 'done to death' threads and the 'I'm new why can't I get a shag' threads?

Is it 'disappointment'? Can't think why else it should make anyone angry, its not like anyone has to read or contribute to any particular thread. As soon as you realise its not of interest to you then just move on to the next and hope its better.

Even on the 'done to death' subjects sometimes something new pops up. And if we stop and think for a moment as to why subjects get repeated, often its because questions have still to be answered.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

take it all with a pinch of salt.....

that's my advice

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Actually, what gets on my tits (just a little bit) is when people talk in terms of newbies and 'regulars' as if it's two seperate breeds of people and the 'regulars' are one entity.

People post on forums... people. Some of those people happen to be twats, talk shit or are looking for sympathy for the sake of it......... the length of time they have been posting has bollock all to do with it.

If people choose who they disagree with based on how long the OP has been posting, they are twat too.

But on the other side of it.....FFS, sometimes it even sounds like a feckin' crime to post regularly

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon

These forums give the same advice as would get from anywhere else, although probably not as good.

Don't take things too serious, with a pinch of salt, and understand there will be multiple opinions on every subject.

Just remember that every day on here is like several episodes of Jezza Kyle rolled into one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as a matter of minor interest why do some people get angry with the 'done to death' threads and the 'I'm new why can't I get a shag' threads?

Is it 'disappointment'? Can't think why else it should make anyone angry"

A lot of the time it's to do with the tone of the message. Some guys ask "what am I doing wrong?" whereas others wade in, having only been on the site a couple of weeks, with an air of entitlement, accusing everyone of being timewasters, fakes and teased.

The former approach is more likely to be met with helpful comments; the latter, not so much.

It's not always to do with the frequency with which questions are asked. Often it's about how the questions are asked.

The attitude (from newbies or anyone else) that the women here are easy and owe them a shag because "it's a sex site ffs" is always going to be insulting and likely to get people's backs up.

Respect works both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am more bored with a lot of regulars on here than the newbies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a newbie - I see your point in that there are those who are not interested to chat. At the same time, I think that new joiners need to realise that there's no such thing as a complete easy shag - people need to feel comfortable in chatting to you before even meeting.

Either way, no reason to take it personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops, sorry didnt mean to splash the thread - someone care to delete some of those?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A message to newbies: We were all new once. It's not about being popular, it's about having a laugh.

A message to the regulars. Have more patience.

I never have much patience, so why change now?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"In my most humble opinion it might be advantageous to have a few stickys for faq's

If you are still here in a while, then maybe you will understand.

In the meantime, join in and keep on posting. Especially on the tell lies about the one above threads. A great way to get noticed loved/despised (delete as applicable)"

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By *onny Bones OP Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

"I'm against badgering people for repeating subjects, it would be easier to ignore a thread if you didn't want to join in just because it has been done to death.

Keep posting threads newbies....forgive me if I ignore the shit ones though, there is no offence meant."

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

In the meantime, join in and keep on posting. Especially on the tell lies about the one above threads. A great way to get noticed loved/despised (delete as applicable)"

His Grandmother despised him, everyone else wanted to delete him.

Ooops, sorry wrong thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as far as i have seen,all newbies get a welcome from older forum members

I never got a welcome

But saying that, no-one has been horrid to me either in the few weeks I've been here

I've not managed to wangle a spot in the regulars club but one never knows, when I've been here a bit longer and start posting more ...

(flutters eyelashes at Femme et al)

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

On a serious note, define "newbie"

As in any walk of life, when starting out in a new venture, patience & perseverance are usually your best buddies & reap the greatest rewards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a serious note, define "newbie"

As in any walk of life, when starting out in a new venture, patience & perseverance are usually your best buddies & reap the greatest rewards

And a sense of humour...

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

In the meantime, join in and keep on posting. Especially on the tell lies about the one above threads. A great way to get noticed loved/despised (delete as applicable)

His Grandmother despised him, everyone else wanted to delete him.

Ooops, sorry wrong thread

Not biting

Everybody was a newbie once, some are less used to posting on forums than others and as a result they may make what other posters may consider a faux pas

It is always best practice to have a read of other threads and get a feel for the forum before any posting

Rate my profile and why can't I get any meets are essentially the same question written in different ways. Only one comes across as more friendly and the other as possibly negative. Not everyone will get on in life and these forums are the same. It's for newbies to work out what will work for them and what they want to get out of the site

It won't be non stop mind blowing sex but it will be the chance to meet new people and have fun

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

i was never given a welcome i just joined in when something made me laugh or i had an answer to a question no ones ever been really horrid to me my spellings terrible as im dyslexic and i have only ever had the piss taken out of it twice but it was so funny i just joined in its best to be a bit thick skinned on here thay are all good sorts and a mixed bag that what makes it all good fun hang in there try not to be negative its just banter xxxxx

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Good morning all of you

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"i was never given a welcome i just joined in when something made me laugh or i had an answer to a question no ones ever been really horrid to me my spellings terrible as im dyslexic and i have only ever had the piss taken out of it twice but it was so funny i just joined in its best to be a bit thick skinned on here thay are all good sorts and a mixed bag that what makes it all good fun hang in there try not to be negative its just banter xxxxx"

Exactly. there are plenty of threads people can join in, positive people get positive reaction, posst on a few topics and people soon recognize your name, once you start having the piss taken out of you (in a good way) you know your welcomed. I think some expect everyone to smarm over them if they are a newbie, but if you went into a new pub, peole would smile and nod and eventually get into conversation, i think its the same here.

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

"Good morning all of you

"
morning nice smile x

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Good morning all of you

morning nice smile x"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

But on the other side of it.....FFS, sometimes it even sounds like a feckin' crime to post regularly

which is the point I have been making... sometimes those who post regularly can't do right for doing wrong in some peoples eyes...

you point them in the direction of a thread on the same subject done recently... you are unfriendly...

you decided not to answer a thread because the topic was done recently.... you are unfriendly...

you have the audacity to disagree with someone on a topic.... you are unfriendly...

see... some people tend to forget this "if the forums were dead, you would all be somewhere else...

because people see the place is lively encourages others to join... so those who post regularly must be doing something right.. and interesting....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont let it bother you. just keep doing what ur doing and u`ll be a reg urself eventually

i think you get jumped on for what you post more than being a nub around here

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"as far as i have seen,all newbies get a welcome from older forum members

Really Lacey??? Have a look the next time a newbie speaks about lack of meets. Or why women don't respond to winks/messages. Look at the replies and question how welcomed you would feel?"

First day in a new job, would you walk into the canteen and start telling everyone it was a crap company and half the people who worked there were up their own arse or lacked any manners?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Just a thought for those who think it’s better to ignore a heavily repeated post rather than moan it has been done to death.

Have any of you ever watched a post with no replies drop down to the bottom of the page like a sinking ship? It does happen quite often and on a busy day/forum it happens quite quickly.... on a slower day/forum it can take... well you get the picture.

How do you think that new poster feels?

More to the point do they have the first Scooby as to why they are being ignored?

Will they think they are being ignored because of their post or because they are new?

Isn’t being ignored also something people say was unfriendly when they first started to try and join in?

On some occasions posts just get a couple of replies, but the only replies they get are the “not this again” …. Is this person in a better position to have another stab at posting than the one who was ignored?

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