FabSwingers.com forum: Fab vs Real Life

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What would happen if you applied the rules of fab in a real life in a bar setting.

You: Hi my name is ...

Woman: Are you verified?

You: Verified?

Woman: How do i know you're not fake.

You: I'm standing right in front of you, i can assure you i'm quite real.

Woman: I won't meet anyone who is less than 8 inches and athletic and isn't white and if you're bi.

You: What is wrong with you, i was just going to introduce myself...

Woman: Not my type, i've just blocked you.

You: You are aware i'm still in front of you.

Woman: Worst meet ever.

You: So the exit is that way, i'll see myself out.

Yeah that is a really sarcastic post, done in fun. Have a nice day everyone.xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

More like 100 guys shouting “wanna fuck” at every woman in the room

Then 1 guy with a thoughtful message that’s really tried, but she can’t hear him over the sea of shouting losers.

Followed by “men don’t make any effort in here”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

[Removed by poster at 17/05/21 09:55:34]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *siancouplehantsCouple
over a year ago

K-PAX

"More like 100 guys shouting “wanna fuck” at every woman in the room

Then 1 guy with a thoughtful message that’s really tried, but she can’t hear him over the sea of shouting losers.

Followed by “men don’t make any effort in here”"

You forgot to mention the guys on the other side of the room who just wink at you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man sat at a table on his own in am empty pub crying into his beer and mumbling 'Why? How?'. Even the bar staff have gone home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imply_fabWoman
over a year ago

Dorchester

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

more like it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriLadMan
over a year ago

North West

Blokes stood at the bar flinging Polaroids of there cocks at unsuspecting women

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Woman in bar:

Man in bar: I wanna fuck your arse and make you scream

Woman: no thanks

Man: fuck you then didn't want it anyway (moves to next woman with pulse)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"More like 100 guys shouting “wanna fuck” at every woman in the room

Then 1 guy with a thoughtful message that’s really tried, but she can’t hear him over the sea of shouting losers.

Followed by “men don’t make any effort in here”

You forgot to mention the guys on the other side of the room who just wink at you

And the ones on the other side just wanking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

Yup

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blokes stood at the bar flinging Polaroids of there cocks at unsuspecting women

Standard night for you isn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

That's the one!

But obviously.... not all men.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

This thread made me laugh! (just the tonic I need during my work's boring conference call)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

Man: How you doin?

Fem: Hi ok thanks, you?

Man: Nice day.

Fem: Yes, very nice.

Man: You wearing a thong?

Fem:

Man: Do you like it up the shit box?

Fem: ...

Man: What did I say??...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exysoul888TV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

You meet someone in the bar who you think you have a connection with. You go to the loo, come back out and see a sign on their seat saying "user no longer in bar"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

Brilliant post x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spend ages chatting to a couple and start to feel like there may be an opportunity to have some fun, nip to the loo and come back and find she was never there and he’s just a single guy having a wank under the table

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

Howling at this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

[Removed by poster at 17/05/21 10:30:42]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

"What would happen if you applied the rules of fab in a real life in a bar setting.

You: Hi my name is ...

Woman: Are you verified?

You: Verified?

Woman: How do i know you're not fake.

You: I'm standing right in front of you, i can assure you i'm quite real.

Woman: I won't meet anyone who is less than 8 inches and athletic and isn't white and if you're bi.

You: What is wrong with you, i was just going to introduce myself...

Woman: Not my type, i've just blocked you.

You: You are aware i'm still in front of you.

Woman: Worst meet ever.

You: So the exit is that way, i'll see myself out.

Yeah that is a really sarcastic post, done in fun. Have a nice day everyone.xx"

Brilliant can't stop howling.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Stop this is Monday thrills I'm on the floor laughing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spend ages chatting to a couple and start to feel like there may be an opportunity to have some fun, nip to the loo and come back and find she was never there and he’s just a single guy having a wank under the table"

OMG this made me laugh so much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/05/21 10:34:41]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

Very insightful post.

Real life: go to a swingers club, see people, chat, flirt, do some mutually accepted touching, get horny and then get the party started ... go home after 1 hour of flirtation and 2 hours of fucking, reclaim sex with husband.

Fab some days: log on, see messages, try to be polite and then just give up ... x Anne

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriLadMan
over a year ago

North West

"Blokes stood at the bar flinging Polaroids of there cocks at unsuspecting women

Standard night for you isn't it?"

Yeah I don't go on a night out without my folder of dick pics

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t beat doing it in person then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogan WillowCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"More like 100 guys shouting “wanna fuck” at every woman in the room

Then 1 guy with a thoughtful message that’s really tried, but she can’t hear him over the sea of shouting losers.

Followed by “men don’t make any effort in here”

You forgot to mention the guys on the other side of the room who just wink at you

Was that a typo?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blokes stood at the bar flinging Polaroids of there cocks at unsuspecting women

Standard night for you isn't it?

Yeah I don't go on a night out without my folder of dick pics

Or a score card, I bet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shout out to pub if anyone knows of any local dogging spots. Come over and tell me in private, thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

[Removed by poster at 17/05/21 11:15:44]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Meanwhile in another room people are sitting amicably in groups, chatting, listening to each other and making connections. They decided to move there having looked at the other room and discreetly approached the people they thought they'd enjoy chatting to and removing all the others from sight.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meanwhile in another room people are sitting amicably in groups, chatting, listening to each other and making connections. They decided to move there having looked at the other room and discreetly approached the people they thought they'd enjoy chatting to and removing all the others from sight.

Soooooo kik?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

Awsome so true

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or introduce yourself,and you dont even get a hello,just a "cock pic".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thread for absolutely ages and ages ... laughing oh soooo loudly!

Fab in a nutshell ... truly awesome!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

Haha,not all of us are like that though,some of us are normal.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Brilliant thread ....forgot the bit ...

Male Hi

Couple Hi

Male Got any plans

Couple Nope

Male..............................................................................................................................

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Soooooo kik?

Oh! Lol no. I meant there are people who put filters on to avoid all the annoying messages, they can then chat in peace to the people they want

Kik isn't allowed on the forum anyway .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

That's the one!

But obviously.... not all men."
... Thank you NSP!..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

And the loudmouth crossdresser walks into the bar telling the dickpic guys to go fuck themselves and kicking the ones who get too close in the nuts.

Plonks herself between all of the gorgeous ladies at the bar and has a blast for the rest of the night while seeing the guys crying into their pints mumbling to themselves about how they're not the same as the other guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

"
indeed xx A & G

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Man: "Nice tits" whilst wanking

Woman:

Man: "why are you even here if you don't want dick? fucking prick tease fat slag"

Woman: *wanders off to call a taxi and get home to the safety of her 4 walls*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

"And the loudmouth crossdresser walks into the bar telling the dickpic guys to go fuck themselves and kicking the ones who get too close in the nuts.

Howling

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"And the loudmouth crossdresser walks into the bar telling the dickpic guys to go fuck themselves and kicking the ones who get too close in the nuts.

You're always cock blocking me!

(Although "saving" is also a term I'd use)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"And the loudmouth crossdresser walks into the bar telling the dickpic guys to go fuck themselves and kicking the ones who get too close in the nuts.

You're always cock blocking me!

(Although "saving" is also a term I'd use)"

Sorry not sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"And the loudmouth crossdresser walks into the bar telling the dickpic guys to go fuck themselves and kicking the ones who get too close in the nuts.

You're always cock blocking me!

(Although "saving" is also a term I'd use)

Sorry not sorry

White knight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like this game...

Man: 'WOMBATGOOSE' or other random word that must be included in his opening sentence to prove that he already knows what she is looking for.

Man: Takes off sunglasses and hat (at ladies request). 'This is me'...

Woman: Thinks....and does one of the following:

a. Takes the bag off her head and starts talking.

b. Keeps the bag on her head but flirts and chats for the rest of the evening regardless.

c. Simultaneously combusts never to be seen again.

Man: 'nice lady, I would'

All said in fun. That has never happened to me.. well probably not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

Hahahahaaa

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *G999Man
over a year ago

Everywhere & Nowhere

Hehehe, thank you so much OP and contributors, this has been a truly entertaining and psychologically enlightening post.

**doffs capp**

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

This!!!! Lol!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iberty RedWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Man. I'm CumdumpingWarrior from YourFantasyLand, I'm going to spin you around & start by licking your ears then move onto your neck, pushing my 9" hardness into you before dropping to my knees...

Woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant Thread!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"Man. I'm CumdumpingWarrior from YourFantasyLand, I'm going to spin you around & start by licking your ears then move onto your neck, pushing my 9" hardness into you before dropping to my knees...

Woman.

"
It was the profile name wasn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"More like 100 guys shouting “wanna fuck” at every woman in the room

Then 1 guy with a thoughtful message that’s really tried, but she can’t hear him over the sea of shouting losers.

Followed by “men don’t make any effort in here”

You forgot to mention the guys on the other side of the room who just wink at you

And the ones on the other side just wanking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best Post in a long time!!

Thank you all for making me laugh after a busy day xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

roll accurate x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

A lot of guys would just be sitting their with their cocks out wondering why women aren't throwing themselves at them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herry OnatopWoman
over a year ago

Just over there

Man in a tailored suit walks into Weatherspoons, heads to bar slowly undoing his belt...

Fem 1: Oh sweet Jesus, he's in a suit!

Fem 2: *drools He's got a belt too! A fucking leather one!

Fem 1: UNDO YOUR SHIRT! UNDO IT!

Fem 2: TIGHT WHITIES! TIGHT WHITIES WE NEED THEM NOW!

Man shifts awkwardly, loosening shirt, leaning on bar, attempts 'the look'

Fem 1: Oh look there's another one..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zlakMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

"*woman standing in bar*

Man: hi

*exposes dick*

Man: hi

Woman: sorry I’m not interested

Man: fucking fat slag

Man: hi

Man: hi"

sooohhh true!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

The funniest thread in a long time.. thanks, OP for making me laugh so much. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Couple walk into a bar

Man- Can I piss over your Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couple walk into a bar

Man- Can I piss over your Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like this game...

Man: 'WOMBATGOOSE' or other random word that must be included in his opening sentence to prove that he already knows what she is looking for.

Man: Takes off sunglasses and hat (at ladies request). 'This is me'...

Woman: Thinks....and does one of the following:

a. Takes the bag off her head and starts talking.

b. Keeps the bag on her head but flirts and chats for the rest of the evening regardless.

c. Simultaneously combusts never to be seen again.

Man: 'nice lady, I would'

All said in fun. That has never happened to me.. well probably not.

Keeps the bag on her head!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man: nice arsehole

Woman: um, thanks

Man: bet you're a dirty slag aren't you

Woman:

Man: wanna come over right this minute for bareback sex?

Woman: no thanks

Man: you're such a fucking tease, why did you reply then? Fucking bitch, you're clearly a time wasting fake

Woman: block. And sigh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man: nice arsehole

Woman: um, thanks

Man: bet you're a dirty slag aren't you

Woman:

Man: wanna come over right this minute for bareback sex?

Woman: no thanks

Man: you're such a fucking tease, why did you reply then? Fucking bitch, you're clearly a time wasting fake

Woman: block. And sigh.

They really send shit like that ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man: nice arsehole

Woman: um, thanks

Man: bet you're a dirty slag aren't you

Woman:

Man: wanna come over right this minute for bareback sex?

Woman: no thanks

Man: you're such a fucking tease, why did you reply then? Fucking bitch, you're clearly a time wasting fake

Woman: block. And sigh.

They really send shit like that ? "

Yes, not you, but yes. That's why you get replies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Hey I'm would love to get to know you

Replies

And no matter what you say that's all you get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man: nice arsehole

Woman: um, thanks

Man: bet you're a dirty slag aren't you

Woman:

Man: wanna come over right this minute for bareback sex?

Woman: no thanks

Man: you're such a fucking tease, why did you reply then? Fucking bitch, you're clearly a time wasting fake

Woman: block. And sigh.

They really send shit like that ?

Yes, not you, but yes. That's why you get replies

Same for you

...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll have a pint in a quiet corner of the pub and give random people the thumbs up if I like what I see.

Only if they've arrived completely nude though and doing unspeakable things to each other.

I might even place random items next to my todger to compare.

I'll also be the one with no head, feet and just one arm.

Cheers! Bollocks! No mouth!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I'll have a pint in a quiet corner of the pub and give random people the thumbs up if I like what I see.

Only if they've arrived completely nude though and doing unspeakable things to each other.

I might even place random items next to my todger to compare.

I'll also be the one with no head, feet and just one arm.

Cheers! Bollocks! No mouth! "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lipy123TV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Guy walks up to CD

Man; god your gorgeous

CD; thank you dear

Man; would love to play with you, you look soo sexy

CD; really

can you accommodate ?

Man; yes anytime you want ( beads of sweat on his brow )

Cd; how about now ? i'm feeling a little

Man seen running out the bar scared faster then speed of light

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread