FabSwingers.com forum: Offensive....

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

What triggers the "offended" response in people?

The "ginger" thread made me think that many people, perhaps all of us get offended by something, rightly or wrongly. I am curious what the "offensive" causes in our brains and biochemistry to respond. I am sure we would be happier if we did not get that feeling, so what is it and is it at all helpful?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

For myself it’s usually words or attitudes that are directly disrespectful to myself or people that I care about.

Words can carry connotations that some aren’t aware of and so I think that it’s important to clarify or to point out the potential issues before jumping in, as it might be unintentional.

In some situations though, people jump into topics without thinking or considering, then refuse to recognise the potential harm because ‘it’s fine with them’ which only makes things worse.

In general though, it’s wilful ignorance or lack of respect on a topic they know little about that causes offence

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Disrespect / disregard for others and myself. There’s a boundary and everyone’s boundaries are different so you’re never going to keep everyone happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say a mix of a particular person's life experience (using the 'ginger' as an example if someone was bullied for having redhair they might take more offense than someone who wasn't) and cultural norms - so it would be learnt offense - (the word 'cunt' has a lot of offensive baggage but in another culture an equivalent word may not).

And if your political/religious beliefs are tied strongly to your sense of self you will feel more offense at someone attacking them.

The web's problem is perceived offense. And the mixing of many different views. Someone somewhere will find what you type offensive but it is not your intention to cause offense.

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By *otmyrealname99Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I think being offended at the appropriate moments is probably helpful in maintaining social structures and the behaviours that for those together. If we didn't get offended people would act like Dicks all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t get "offended" that easy I’m very lay back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get offended by karen

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Victimisation offends me and I go straight to rage in my brain, most other times it's meh as I am able to process the thoughts and feelings behind it

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

People who are unable to open their mind to other viewpoints or even acknowledge that their opinion might not be the only one that matters.

Why would you be so stubborn and stuck in your ways when all you're doing is contributing to a more ignorant society?

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

I'm not offended by anything or anyone. I'm a bit like a rhinoceros, very thick skinned and charge a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Current mood. If someone is in a bad mood they are more likely to be quickly offended by something they would normally laugh off.

Past experiences. If someone has been told to smile many times by strangers, a simple "aww smile" from a friend could offend them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i get offended by karen"

I know someone with that name who gets offended by the karen memes.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As a ginger I've had all those comments thrown at me over the years but currently the thing that seems to push my buttons are intellectual snobs.

As others have said it's fine having an opinion on a topic but I find those who may well be much more knowledgeable on certain subjects seem to look down on those who aren't and are quick to demean.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Taking offense cannot 'be' except that you let it so......

People cause themselves and others a lot of unnecessary suffering by failing to distinguish the difference between harm and offense.

If you feel yourself being offended a lot of the time, it's time for 'self reflection'.....

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By *ambertMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Wearing red trousers at the Cheltenham races is pretty offensive

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"As a ginger I've had all those comments thrown at me over the years but currently the thing that seems to push my buttons are intellectual snobs.

As others have said it's fine having an opinion on a topic but I find those who may well be much more knowledgeable on certain subjects seem to look down on those who aren't and are quick to demean.

There are also a lot of people who aren't happy unless they are finding offense in something or other. It's their default position

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Just because you’re offended doesn’t necessarily mean you’re right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally narrow minded attitudes. Homophobia. Racism etc and bitterness. They all flick my switches. But I now don’t generally get involved as it just backfires and due to censorship, end up being put on the naughty step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm rarely offended

Especially by strangers online

There are without a doubt a lot of offensive people everywhere - but I don't let them affect me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm rarely offended

Especially by strangers online

There are without a doubt a lot of offensive people everywhere - but I don't let them affect me."

This. Someone can do offensive things or hold offensive opinions but that doesn't mean they necessarily offend us personally. It's mostly our choice if we take offence or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't generally take offense, far too laid back, and believe that taking offense is often/mainly a choice and very much linked to judgemental behaviour. Both, I can do without in my life.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Lots of people seem to get offended by the word "offended", which always amuses me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't generally take offense, far too laid back, and believe that taking offense is often/mainly a choice and very much linked to judgemental behaviour. Both, I can do without in my life. "

Phone

offence*

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

I’m not sure if I get offended as I would have to value the person’s opinions to care. I know everyone is different and some people are more sensitive or less self confident and can be hurt by comments - I don’t actually care what most people think. I just try to treat everyone with respect and be sensitive to their feelings. Karma I guess - put love out - get love back … I may have to hug a tree any minute!!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Words are harmless, and words alone are hollow. They have no power. Words do not offend me, nor do I get offended on behalf of others.

Context, intent, and conviction behind those words do stir up things within though.

I try to be considerate in my own word usage, because despite not being offended on behalf of others, I do feel a compassion for how they feel about such words and things. Same goes for defending them against such situations. I won't be offended but I'll sure as hell challenge you for not having the same respect.

I am open to all opinions and attitudes, that's not to say I won't challenge, nor will I be converted to agreeing with their view.

Personally do I feel that the "offended" reactions some people have is on par with the over dramatic reaction a lot of footballers have when they get looked at when challenged for the ball? Yes.

Some people are too quick to take spotlight as the victim, or blatantly go looking to find offense in anything. But on the flip to that some people go looking to cause offense and stir up hate.

There is no balance or stability in either of them, and such polarising and extremist views of the world is what causes conflict more than anything, it breeds animosity and hatred. They fuel their own conflicts.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

I’m not offended by much myself. Only thing that annoys me is when people decide what I should be offended by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it is a personal attack. Not much offends me.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Taking offense cannot 'be' except that you let it so......

People cause themselves and others a lot of unnecessary suffering by failing to distinguish the difference between harm and offense.

If you feel yourself being offended a lot of the time, it's time for 'self reflection'..... "

Cant remember ever being offended to be honest. Plenty people piss me off but they don’t offend me

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

When it's personal to me and I've had experience of being wronged in a particular way, if that makes sense.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"What triggers the "offended" response in people?

It all depends on the context and how and by who delivered. I got called “uppity” the other day and it kind of pissed me off but also made me laugh.

I’m not easily offended.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Did you get called 'uppity' on here ?

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