FabSwingers.com forum: Are you self aware?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Great topic, OP

I think I know when I have been unreasonable or difficult. Not that I WANTED to be, sometimes I just am. Hindsight would be so useful if only it set in a bit earlier, like before being a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Almost to a fault. I can overthink how I come across and how others interpret my words to the point I can almost sound robotic instead of letting my personality come through. Mostly tends to happen around new people though

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No idea. I think everyone *thinks* they're self aware, possibly their friends and family would disagree

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Very much aware of my shortcomings and flaws - and hold my hand up to them.

That said self-awareness and others perceptions don't always match so what I may see as a flaw, others may not, and vice versa

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Yes and sometimes it gets exhausting because striving for constant growth takes hard work and self reflection. And sometimes I need to just be rather than do. And that may mean I’m a bit of a dick. These things happen

Marley

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I recently watched a programme on Socrates and he said...

"An unexamined life is not worth living"

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I agree*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Realising that one is in fact a twat is a bit of a downer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Marley

I hear this. I am pretty good at observing my thoughts, and examining my reasoning/motivation for my reaction, but yes, at times you need to just allow too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree*"

Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm painfully aware of areas I need to work on

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Yes. Realising that one is in fact a twat is a bit of a downer."

Yes..but then the only way is up..hopefully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know your blueprint and break the chain. Always take responsibility for your actions, your flaws and your wrong doings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, no.

Work in progress here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely yes always look at my behaviour and think before speaking also apologise for my behaviour if in wrong must remember I can’t change others acceptance helps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In that case, do you allow self realisation to get you down, or do you work on it, and use it for areas of improvement as it were?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very self aware. Too self aware ? Probably.

I know what I think my flaws are.

And I know that they are not what other people think they are.

We don't see ourselves correctly. We think we do but we don't.

I helped myself a lot during therapy by looking at my own behaviour and trying to understand why I do the things I do and how to stop that behaviour.

But ultimately what I learned was its OK to be me. Take out the negative as much as possible but I'm a good person with good intentions and that has to be enough for me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How does one know one's awareness of self is correct?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How does one know one's awareness of self is correct?"

That’s a very good point. Hopefully we have people around us who can support us with it? I know I do, and he’s good at it

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I thought I was. Someone told me fairly recently that I'm quite full on, but I really don't think I am!

If I've made a mistake or unintentionally upset someone I will always apologise for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

I'm highly self aware, that causes pain in itself, when I'm being a dick, the conscious talks, you shouldn't be behaving in that manner...

I take the steps to better myself, trying to be a bit better today than I was yesterday, but also taking in account I'm human and fallible, so if I'm not not allowing to myself uo about it, there is always tomorrow xx

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Both very aware of that fact we don't tolerate idiots lightly or bad manners or racists or homophobic and quite vocal when we encounter it and both very anti religion and that can across as being ....woke....so....and mrs4 hates non matching underwear on fem so guess that makes her snobby lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. Realising that one is in fact a twat is a bit of a downer.

Yes..but then the only way is up..hopefully

That requires effort, I can relax and enjoy my problem..

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Yes, I’m aware of myself, my good points and my flaws. I think that that’s only half of the battle though, taking those flaws and changing them, fixing them or growing as a person is another thing.

It’s one thing to know that you have a short temper, it’s another thing to try to remedy it

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Yes, especially after my divorce. I could have gone two ways, living on the streets drinking myself to an early death. Or who I am now, someone who knows no matter what happens I’ll most likely be able to deal with it.

I actually think the most self aware people are the ones who have truly been through bad times and come out of the other side. They’re a bit more cautious and no longer allow themselves to be put down or seen that they’re less than someone else. Unless you’ve gone through some massive challenges in your life, you’ll never truly know how strong or weak you truly are.

That’s my opinion on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recovering from longterm serious illness. My main goal is to get my body back to 100% fitness and get marathon fit and raise money for cancer research uk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have many flaws and there are many still a work in progress if I’m rude or wrong always apologize not in right most of the time but there you go.

I have good personality and generally good outlook on life do get down on occasion like we all do

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'd like to think I am to a certain degree but then we'd all like to think so wouldn't we? Our confirmation bias kicks in, we see certain behaviours in ourselves which affirm that this is who we are. The less pleasant side might not always sit comfortably with us so we justify that away.

We can seek opinions from friends and loved ones but again, they'll confirm from kindness what we believe for the most part.

I think I know some of my flaws, I'm possibly in denial of others. I'm still relatively young and growing and learning and I'm also aware that sometimes I overthink and maybe I should just be.

As for the good, for the most part I'm as imperfectly perfect as everyone else. We all have flaws, areas we could do better in. Of course we do. For the most part people are just trying to live their lives without trying to harm others.

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Aware also we can be bit to honest !! and when people ask us for advice we used to give it but not now learnt that lesson the hard way and just nod and smile ...and mrs4 is sometimes to sarcastic and can quite happily fit her foot in her mouth sometimes !!! but we do know we can across as arrogant and we just like what we like and know what we like ...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If I've made a mistake or unintentionally upset someone I will always apologise for it.

Same.

I'm aware enough to know that I'm ok. I have friends, my family hasn't disowned me and my partner has stuck with me for 40 years. I understand that I'm imperfect and there are things about me that must get on other people's nerves. Over the years I've had the rough edges knocked off me by experience and other people's reactions to certain traits I possess. If that's self awareness I have it but I don't think it is. I don't actively seek out bad things about myself or good things for that matter, I'm not sure it's a good thing to do.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

I like to think so.

Things like understanding your learning style, your prioritisation style, the Johari window etc. all allow you to learn more about yourself.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think everyone needs a couple of friends that will always be brutally honest and you’ve managed to hang on to them for at least a decade! Keeping the friends that always agree with you is easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many things in life are unimportant.

One of the few things that you must be able to do is ask yourself and answer " What kind of a person am I." If you can do that you will soon find there is no room for self-pity, self-delusion or false modesty. And you are on the path to being free.

I try, I fail, I try again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many things in life are unimportant.

I try, I fail, I try again. "

I like this!

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

Being self aware does not mean you need to change or seek to improve. Know your imperfections and accept them, for they are you. Be kind to yourself then you might find you can be kinder to others and accept them for who they are.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think I'm fairly self aware

I'm grumpy on a morning and try to stop that, especially at work, they all know me well thankfully.

If I feel myself becoming a twat, I do try to reign myself in. It's usually when I tired or hormonal.or I just keep quiet at those times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite an introspective person so if anything I overthink rather than lack any self awareness. Even so I think it's only in our interactions with others that we really get to examine and test our self image.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I think I am more aware of my imperfections at the moment, but that is just my state of mind and lockdown

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Sometimes when i am in a hole i can get hyper sensitive and that sometimes comes across as combatative and is hard to see as such in the moment because i feel the hurt more than i can look at my behaviour if that makes sense. My behaviour at the time seemed fairly reasonable but looking back it probably wasn't as maybe i totally misread the intentions. When i am in a better place it is easier to look at both sides and have empathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Has someone said something to you OP that's got you thinking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look in the mirror and see a empty shell, i dont look in mirrors often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very aware of my faults and I will do everything I can to avoid them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Painfully. And joyfully.

Flaws and frowns.

And it's important to me to be able to equally learn from my mistakes as much as laugh at myself trying to make sense of repeating some of them.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I've found being on fab over the years has made me aware of what i deem to be my good points, bad points & flaws (i'm purposely separating bad points & flaws).

Nobody is perfect

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Has someone said something to you OP that's got you thinking?"

No, I think I’m pretty self aware. I am getting quite practised at observing my thoughts and triggers now (after a lot of practice).

I’m curious about others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Has someone said something to you OP that's got you thinking?

No, I think I’m pretty self aware. I am getting quite practised at observing my thoughts and triggers now (after a lot of practice).

I’m curious about others

Ok then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I look in the mirror and see a empty shell, i dont look in mirrors often.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Far too self aware when it comes to my faults.

I sometimes look at other people and wonder if they are unaware of their own or just don't care. Either way must be a lot easier to be like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm my own worst critic. I never believe nice things that people say. A thread that Princess Peach did recently has got me looking in to my past. I don't know if I can change how I feel but I'm trying to learn how to shut up about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Far too self aware when it comes to my faults.

I sometimes look at other people and wonder if they are unaware of their own or just don't care. Either way must be a lot easier to be like that.

Kx "

They might be aware and don't give a fuck too.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I like to think so. Trouble is, if I wasn't I wouldn't have the self awareness to know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very aware of other peoples lack of self awareness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Far too self aware when it comes to my faults.

I sometimes look at other people and wonder if they are unaware of their own or just don't care. Either way must be a lot easier to be like that.

They might be aware and don't give a fuck

I bet its so much easier. Just storm through peoples lives. Like bulldozers

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Far too self aware when it comes to my faults.

I sometimes look at other people and wonder if they are unaware of their own or just don't care. Either way must be a lot easier to be like that.

They might be aware and don't give a fuck too.

I need to be more like that

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I set high standards for me as a person and how I treat others. My nieces and nephews look up to me. I am a little quiet sometimes but still waters run deep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I work very hard at this xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very self aware and do reflect on my actions. More often than not I treat people in accordance as to how they treat me. So if they act like a twat towards me they get treated like a twat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Far too self aware when it comes to my faults.

I sometimes look at other people and wonder if they are unaware of their own or just don't care. Either way must be a lot easier to be like that.

Kx "

I don’t understand it though, people who charge through life without growing, I can’t see how it is possible, but I know it happens.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like to think so. Trouble is, if I wasn't I wouldn't have the self awareness to know! "

It’s an excellent point! This is definitely another thing that’s common I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have good and bad points

I recognise the bad points, everyday I try be a better person I was the day before

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I am self aware and all of my so called flaws or not make up me

I'm not going to change any of them as I am extremely happy being me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am self aware and all of my so called flaws or not make up me

I'm not going to change any of them as I am extremely happy being me

That’s awesome

I didn’t really want to call them flaws, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate my meaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The comedian Peter Cook used to have a great line about how he'd learned from all his mistakes and was very confident that he could repeat them !

A lot of truth in that, unfortunately.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I am self aware and all of my so called flaws or not make up me

I'm not going to change any of them as I am extremely happy being me

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I (Luke) think I'm very realistic about my flaws, especially when it relates to my career. Others see it as putting myself down though. I disagree with them.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I am self aware and all of my so called flaws or not make up me

I'm not going to change any of them as I am extremely happy being me

That’s awesome

I didn’t really want to call them flaws, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate my meaning. "

You could call them Traits xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am self aware and all of my so called flaws or not make up me

I'm not going to change any of them as I am extremely happy being me

That’s awesome

I didn’t really want to call them flaws, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate my meaning.

You could call them Traits xxx"

Yes, that’s a much better word. Thank you

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Hello sexy.

I’m so far from self aware that I actually believe I’m a witty handsome reasonably fit bit of a flirt of a chap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100 % I do .. and always try to rectify them ... I hate the bad vibe within myself whenever I’ve let myself down !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello sexy.

I’m so far from self aware that I actually believe I’m a witty handsome reasonably fit bit of a flirt of a chap.

Very self aware then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The comedian Peter Cook used to have a great line about how he'd learned from all his mistakes and was very confident that he could repeat them !

A lot of truth in that, unfortunately."

Practice makes perfect.

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By *ussieChrisMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Ive been told I do 1 of 2 things..

1. Look down on myself too much, see more negatives than there actually are and all that jazz.

2. Act better than I actually am (not snobbish like)make it seem like I have achieved more than I realistically have.

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

Try not to look in the mirror as much as possible

But yeah I'd say I'm self aware, apart from when I've had half a lager then I get loud(er). - Mr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do overthink stuff a lot, like what if I said this, what if o done that instead and try work things out in my head. I like to think I’m always positive and come across as a nice guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m hugely self-critical and struggle with being wrong because of that

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I am very aware of all my flaws, and I spend way too much time overthinking everything.

However, I'm also pretty aware of some of the good qualities I have. I've at least learned to accept they exist.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I'm definitely self aware and I have made dramatic improvements to myself over the last 3 years in all areas, and shall keep on doing so. 'The best version of me' is a continuous work in progress.

Mrs

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I recognise my flaws.

I often worry for ages that I've been a dick.

I don't look in the mirror of I can help it.

I'm working on recognising my good points, and building my confidence (which FAB is actually helping with massively, so thanks everyone).

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

I’ve had MH issues

Anxiety and anger issues

I found and learned what caused it (childhood event) and the signs to try and avoid it..

But I still am a test sometimes

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Do you know your good points, are you realistic about your flaws/areas for development, whatever you want to call them.

Do you recognise when you’re being a dick, and take steps to work on it?

Do you look in the mirror sometimes, and see what is reflecting back at you?

Yes I love both the study of psychology and growing in understanding and awareness of my own unique patterns and being. I can't understand people who have no interest in personal growth or the pursuit of wholeness and inner wellness. Awareness to me means perceiving in real depth.

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