FabSwingers.com forum: Lost mates

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tom, I’m very sorry to hear this. Words fail me. My deepest and heartfelt condolences to you and his loved ones.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tom, I’m very sorry to hear this. Words fail me. My deepest and heartfelt condolences to you and his loved ones."

Thank you

Half hour ago I was all smiles...

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Absolutely.

Many men still find it hard to open up, far too many still see it as emasculating.

We need to bring up our sons to be more open and support anyone who needs it.

Just a friendly ear can make all the difference.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Take care OP

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

So sorry to hear this OP. Hope you're ok.

So many people struggle in silence and put a brave face on.

To anyone suffering, please, please ask for help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

Sorry to hear this, I think we need to look out for each other more than ever....The quieter ones especially

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Take care OP "

Thank you, seems to be a common occurrence. I’m 45 I should just be worrying about losing my hair not losing mates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry, that's really shit x

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Sorry to hear Tom...I can’t imagine what it feels to get to that state to want to do it.

My best friend growing up hung himself and I’m constantly haunted by the fact that just a chat may have changed his mind...no one knows what goes on in people’s minds at all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friend of mine killed himself last autumn.

Only in his 30s, broke up with gf and couldn't see the kids. His job let him go and that was the finally straw.

He never spoke about things neither. Now the young kids don't have a dad and that's the sad part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

It's horrible...

My cousin is still in the army and was telling me he's lost 9 friends to suicide.

Chin up OP

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By *asual_WandererWoman
over a year ago

A spot you want me

So so sorry Tom, I lost a good friend to suicide last year, there really are no words, and always a zillion and one what ifs.

I know you're asking folk to check in on others, but also if you need a chat my inbox is open

Peace and love x

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

Are you ok? I can supply a cuppa and a chat if you need to talk. Seriously bud, I don’t mind if you do.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Sending huggles OP.

Not a nice day for you

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Simple answer tom, we don't like to admit that we are struggling, or cant cope, it's not the manly thing to do.

I speak from experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

It's horrible...

My cousin is still in the army and was telling me he's lost 9 friends to suicide.

Chin up OP

this and the op are awful stories to hear

also sounds like the military are really failing in their duty of care for people they have sent off to war zones

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Are you ok? I can supply a cuppa and a chat if you need to talk. Seriously bud, I don’t mind if you do. "

Dya know, knowing you and knowing you mean what you just said above reminds me over again why I smile in your company x

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Sorry to hear that OP. I talk to a couple of my military friends, who really struggle, they’ve found it hard talking to their ex colleagues as supposed to be tough. Thankfully a few more are opening up, but we’ve lost a few over the years from military and civilian life.

To many stay silent and struggle alone

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Lost 2 good friends to suicide, my heart goes out to you Tom, remembering the good times allow us to find our smiles again, big hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a horrendous 2020, and that had nothing to do with the pandemic, depression set in and suicidal thoughts followed, was getting to a point where i just had nowhere to turn to, my mates weren't around, then one night at around 1am sat in the living room in complete silence whilst just browsing around the internet i came across an advert for the Samaritans, must have looked at that advert for almost half an hour, then i made the decision to call, it was the best thing i did, the person i spoke to was amazing, got me set up on the right track and with them and some help from the dr and a therapist, i’m no longer in that dark place, don’t get me wrong thins still aren’t perfect, but i’m no longer in any kind of danger.

We have to find some one to talk to if there’s problems, if not a friend or family member there’s always someone out there.

Really sorry to hear about the loss pal, just hope more guys don’t see it as a weakness, we need to talk when we have issues, bottling it up is not the answer, i found that out for myself.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Take care OP

Thank you, seems to be a common occurrence. I’m 45 I should just be worrying about losing my hair not losing mates "

It's natural to worry.

Just make sure you look after your mental health as well.

There's plenty of us happy to just chat and who have had to deal with the loss of people we care about.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Are you ok? I can supply a cuppa and a chat if you need to talk. Seriously bud, I don’t mind if you do.

Dya know, knowing you and knowing you mean what you just said above reminds me over again why I smile in your company x"

That’s just warmed my heart Hanky

. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Are you ok? I can supply a cuppa and a chat if you need to talk. Seriously bud, I don’t mind if you do. "

Thanks I’ll be ok... with it being a guy I worked with there’s guys from all over I need to drop a message to from all over the uk. I’ve just made someone’s evening as shit as mine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Are you ok? I can supply a cuppa and a chat if you need to talk. Seriously bud, I don’t mind if you do.

Thanks I’ll be ok... with it being a guy I worked with there’s guys from all over I need to drop a message to from all over the uk. I’ve just made someone’s evening as shit as mine "

But thank you, it means a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

It's horrible...

My cousin is still in the army and was telling me he's lost 9 friends to suicide.

Chin up OP

this and the op are awful stories to hear

also sounds like the military are really failing in their duty of care for people they have sent off to war zones "

Seems nothing has changed. My father in law was military, he served all over the world including Belfast, he had a breakdown when told he had to go back to Belfast, they discharged him with no support...Went into the army teetotal and came out an alcoholic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Sorry to hear this, I think we need to look out for each other more than ever....The quieter ones especially

It’s true about the quieter ones. Sometimes, the ‘happiest, most gregarious and garrulous one can be the loneliest, most dejected and broken soul.

Don’t always believe the smile.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

So sorry to hear this,

We lost a child (14)at school this week due to bullying and mental health.

Breaks my heart thinking people can't tell people how they feel.

I'm always about to pm those who need to talk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lost 2 good friends to suicide, my heart goes out to you Tom, remembering the good times allow us to find our smiles again, big hugs

You make me smile.. and it’s still here! X

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

I am so sorry to hear this. The armed services and successive governments have failed too many young men over the years. Again and again we see them failing to deal with soldiers that have been scarred by the horror of theatres of war.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

So sorry to hear this ...

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Sorry for your loss, 2 of my friends, one serving female and one vet male, took their own lives.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

People have their reasons for doing these things and I can totally understand why they do.

It's not easy to open up and talk about things that maybe others haven't experienced, witnessed or gone through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear.of you.loss Tom

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

There's a really good organisation where I am called

All Call Signs

They're on Facebook, for anyone in the forces needing help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry you've lost so many friends

life is tough but it's always slightly easier if you have somone to talk or vent to

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Tom I'm so sorry for your loss xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear.of you.loss Tom "

Cheers... I’ll be back to smiling tomorrow, just telling a couple of others the news

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/05/21 21:36:30]

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

My deepest condolences. Suicide has too many victims, and not just those who pass xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear Tom...I can’t imagine what it feels to get to that state to want to do it.

My best friend growing up hung himself and I’m constantly haunted by the fact that just a chat may have changed his mind...no one knows what goes on in people’s minds at all...

I think it’s his ex and child access, that and lockdown. I worked with him in a few contracts in Iraq and one in Libya. He was only 36 used to call me pops

Fuck I’m only 45... I just wish I could have turned the click back and dropped him a message a few days ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to hear this.. It's so hard for those left behind xx

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Sorry you've lost so many friends op

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's a really good organisation where I am called

All Call Signs

They're on Facebook, for anyone in the forces needing help."

Yeah I follow a few of them, they’re really good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

I (Mr Furvert) am a mental health first aider at work and did some really good training from MHFA England.

All people can be affected that is fact but often things are not helped by being male and especially those in a all male environment. The "stigma" stops those who are needing help and isolates them from the help they need let's be honest most men have experienced some form of ridicule in some way or another personal or to others. I personally hate the comments "Man up" or "chin up" often light words of understanding and offers of just listening and support go a real long way, we don't always know what someone is going through?

Check in on those who you think might be struggling today for tomorrow they might not be there

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

It’s not just men sadly xx I lost my aunt to suicide. She was only 37 (I was 34 at the time) & she left 3 teenage children behind.

11 years on & my family is still trying to recover.

Mental health in the UK needs so much more funding that it’ll ever get xx

Hug hugs to anyone suffering with their own mental health or that of someone they care about xxx

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this OP, I’m just glad I spoke to my GP when I was feeling really low a few years ago. Still not 100% but better than I was

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

That's very sad to hear OP, I have lost close friends to suicide

My thoughts go out to you and your mates family. To all those that have lost their lives to suicide, I hope that they have finally found peace!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry, how awful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

I (Mr Furvert) am a mental health first aider at work and did some really good training from MHFA England.

Check in on those who you think might be struggling today for tomorrow they might not be there

That’s unfortunately to true.. the army is so much better at spotting it but when you’re out. You’re not surrounded by the guys that know you better than you know yourself..

it’s a mans witkd in the army. But we look after each other like there’s no tomorrow, laughed and cried with friends, looks like I’ll be doing it agsin for the wrong reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

Sorry to hear this Tom, I do a lot of awareness to do with mind. There needs to be more to help people that are struggling

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

Shit! I'm so, so sorry to hear that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm so sorry, how awful

Thanks I’m going to finish this large rum then bed I think

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"So sorry to hear this,

We lost a child (14)at school this week due to bullying and mental health.

Breaks my heart thinking people can't tell people how they feel.

I'm always about to pm those who need to talk. "

That is immensely sad. I wish bullies would realise the damage they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am really sorry.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Sleep well op

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Heartbreaking.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

M8 so sorry 4 ur loss of a close friend ..our military guys and girls just don't get support they need ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss op and the loss of his family and friends!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry Tom

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone for all the kind words and PMs I’ll be fine it’s jyst another shock.

I made the post as a knee jerk to me finding out so soon before posting it.

It was just to try and make people stop and think. And look around at others that might be acting slightly differently than last time you saw them. And to anyone thinking about doing something stupid... to actually think about getting help snd nit carrying on in silence

Thank you everyone, x

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Thank you everyone for all the kind words and PMs I’ll be fine it’s jyst another shock.

I made the post as a knee jerk to me finding out so soon before posting it.

Thank you everyone, x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this OP

Life is shit ..... sending hugs x

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By *idcotlad2020Man
over a year ago

didcot

I told my mate today I’m having a bad day and all he said was could I borrow some cash pls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry and sending lots of love and thoughts to you and those affected.

I am a Mental Health First Aider and I encourage everyone to do the course - it's 2 days and teaches you how to help in a mental health emergency and the warning signs for a range of MH conditions, including suicide. Just search Mental Health First Aid England for online courses. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I told my mate today I’m having a bad day and all he said was could I borrow some cash pls "
m

Haha well I hope you told him you’ll charge him double

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this, such sad news for all who knew him x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

I did a post recently to encourage people to take a few minutes to do an online course about spotting signs of people looking to take their own life,

Sadly there's often no signs

Take care and talk to someone yourself if needed, if often affects those they leave behind

Sad sad day indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God that's awful news. Sending a hug.

It's a sad fact that no person can predict the future, nor can they know all the reasons for another person's actions. We can only do our best and as awful as it is, it's not always possible to prevent it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your friends it’s never an easy thing to have to deal with.

I think a lot of the male population still feel like opening up or explaining what’s wrong knocks their masculinity, we’ve always been brought up that boys are tough and don’t cry, that we shrug everything off and carry on. Mental health is something serious and I think male or female a lot of people are scared of getting a backlash because their going through a rough time, it sounds odd I know but from experience when I get depressed the last thing I want to do is show somebody I’m at a weak point.

I know this isn’t the case but the stigma and stereotypes have been there for a long time and like everything it needs to change.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

So sorry to hear such sad news, big hugs on their way, sadly it’s news you hear too often these days, I’ve known a couple of ex military that took that path after retirement.

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

I know that feeling one of my favourites done the same.A permanent solution for a temporary problem my thoughts go out to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know that feeling one of my favourites done the same.A permanent solution for a temporary problem my thoughts go out to you."

Thanks... I’ll be fine just need to rationalise what’s happened. And shift this banging head

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Raise a glass to absent brothers.

Sadly gone but never forgotten.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sympathies.

As for your question. Maybe next generation will be raised differently. Where it will be OK to talk about depression as much as it is about diabetes and nobody would tell you to pull your shit together, be grateful for what you have and told you to carry on. Attitudes change so slowly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My sympathies.

Thanks... I don’t blame the military for its culture, it’s actually very fluffy nowadays. It’s when you leave. That support network you get from friends can fall away too.

Your workmates become civilian and we never open up to civilians really, strange but true.

You could ask me now “are you ok Tom?” Abd I’ll reply and smile! “Yeah, I’m

Just knackered”

But hopefully we lose less people this year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My sympathies.

Thanks... I don’t blame the military for its culture, it’s actually very fluffy nowadays. It’s when you leave. That support network you get from friends can fall away too.

Your workmates become civilian and we never open up to civilians really, strange but true.

You could ask me now “are you ok Tom?” Abd I’ll reply and smile! “Yeah, I’m

Just knackered”

But hopefully we lose less people this year

I didnt blame them either. More of reflection how we are raised..or were. Boys don't cry. Girls are sweet. Etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My sympathies.

Thanks... I don’t blame the military for its culture, it’s actually very fluffy nowadays. It’s when you leave. That support network you get from friends can fall away too.

Your workmates become civilian and we never open up to civilians really, strange but true.

You could ask me now “are you ok Tom?” Abd I’ll reply and smile! “Yeah, I’m

Just knackered”

But hopefully we lose less people this year

I didnt blame them either. More of reflection how we are raised..or were. Boys don't cry. Girls are sweet. Etc. "

I know, it wasn’t a dig... sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

I’m so sorry Tom, that’s really awful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Simple answer tom, we don't like to admit that we are struggling, or cant cope, it's not the manly thing to do.

I speak from experience "

Thanks sorry I’ve only just replied. Missed so much last night.

Rum helped last night! Coffee and five finger death punch are working this morning

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending love and healing to you and his loved ones

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I’m sending huge hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry to hear about your losses OP. I seen this post an hour ago and I just had to log off. I couldn't imagine the enormity of what you have had to deal with.

My group of school friends had this conversation a few weeks ago. Some were shocked to hear about my personal experience with suicidal thoughts. You often hear people say if you are suffering, reach out and tell someone. But that's not how it works.

I explained to them that if they want to help, that they need to reach out to the sufferer themselves. They need to be proactive. Because when you are not feeling like you can go on or that your death won't be noticed, you are incapable of looking for help often.

I hope you are in as good a place as you can be OP

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Sorry to read this Tom

. Sending hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm really sorry to hear about your losses OP. I seen this post an hour ago and I just had to log off. I couldn't imagine the enormity of what you have had to deal with.

I hope you are in as good a place as you can be OP"

Thank you, yes my heads fine what it usually does. Rum Helped numb it yesterday m, coffee is helping clear it today. And one very special person is making me smile again xx

Thank you

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Terrible. In life I had two old friends commit suicide. Both great guys. I tried it and fortunately failed.

Often these days I think of the crap people say to you. Negative shit. School teachers, bosses and colleagues. Shut it ffs.

Nobody wants it insincere flattery but please think before you speak. A tiny hurtful comment can in fact stay with a person leading to feelings of worthlessness. Also stay off social media. It’s a cancer of hate in many instances.

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By *osh TV Deep ThroatTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Aww baby xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to read this Tom

. Sending hugs xxx"

Thank you, I feel more myself this morning xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We have to break the toxic concept of masculinity that we cultured, that emphasised the importance of the wrong qualities in people. Men should be allowed to be men as themselves, in their fuller glory.

Shut down anyone who says harsh terms like 'man up', by opening up the discussion that struggling internally, whilst closed off, isn't healthy.

It's sad too that men worried about being viewed as gay, if they were emotionally open, when sexuality isn't about emotional depth and being open.

Take care Tom

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Sorry to read this Tom

. Sending hugs xxx

Thank you, I feel more myself this morning xx "

Take care Tom

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Sending much love and please don't feel bad as some people just don't want to talk. I have been in that dark place and even told my therapist all the stuff she wanted to hear just to be discharged. For me it was getting a dog which changed and probably saved my life. Everyone copes differently.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

OP - great post and sincere sympathies for your loss. This thread will be an important outlet for you too!

Male suicide is a national disgrace which rarely seems to get the attention it deserves. It's the biggest single killer of men under 45 yet so much of the support available is charity based rather than a direct function of the NHS.

I'd urge everyone to make themselves aware of the signs to look for in male friends/relatives and not be afraid to seek advice themselves on what to do if they feel someone they know/care about might be at risk.

A simple search for male suicide advice and support will yield lots of sources of information which are readily available to anyone who wants to know more.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I lost my cousin a couple of months ago. He had been fragile for some times but no one had really taken any notice , putting his occasionally odd statuses on FB down to alcohol consumption.

Only 48 years old .

Men's mental health is overlooked, they're also less likely to identify with the "depression/anxiety" labels and have unrealistic expectations of being seen as strong and invincible which too often prevent them from seeking help.

And unfortunately mental health issues are still "taboo", men in particular have to contend with the "don't be a wimp, pull yourself together" culture.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sending much love and please don't feel bad as some people just don't want to talk. I have been in that dark place and even told my therapist all the stuff she wanted to hear just to be discharged. For me it was getting a dog which changed and probably saved my life. Everyone copes differently."

Yeah dogs are great, especially the love and companionship, but also a routine and something that requires you to be there.

And thank you! I don’t feel guilty though, not really! But I do feel his loss, and it was a shock... I a few ex mil mates that are in my list to regularly keep in contact with. But he just seemed in a good place.

But thank you, glad you’re doing well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I lost my cousin a couple of months ago. He had been fragile for some times but no one had really taken any notice , putting his occasionally odd statuses on FB down to alcohol consumption.

Only 48 years old .

And unfortunately mental health issues are still "taboo", men in particular have to contend with the "don't be a wimp, pull yourself together" culture.

Yeah I think that culture will always exist. And in the military it is there... but they are doing better at it while you’re serving! It’s afterwards guys fall through the gaps and fall out the system. Abd if you don’t even see that you need some help it’s even worse to access any help.

But thank you xx

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By *nkforthekinkMan
over a year ago

london/fareham/brighton

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help "

Awful news Op! My thoughts are with you today! I lost a very close friend when I was 19!

More support and gratitude needs to start happening for our military persons! I am and will be forever grateful for people like you! Chin up! chest out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do guys not talk to each other about problems... in 4 years I’ve lost 5 ex military mates to suicide tonight it became 6!

If you see a mate struggling please offer him that cup of tea and a chat... an hour out your day to try and listen to someone’s trouble. It might just help

Awful news Op! My thoughts are with you today! I lost a very close friend when I was 19!

More support and gratitude needs to start happening for our military persons! I am and will be forever grateful for people like you! Chin up! chest out! "

Thank you, and I’m sorry about your loss, it never goes away fully. I’m good though thanks. I have an amazing grounding with my daughter. And an amazing new friend that makes me smile and laugh. And look forward to great times

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP - great post and sincere sympathies for your loss. This thread will be an important outlet for you too!

A simple search for male suicide advice and support will yield lots of sources of information which are readily available to anyone who wants to know more.

Thank you, I’m not fully sure why I posted on here, I guess it was that I think on social platforms people just scroll on by. But I am in a good place thank you, I won’t lie yesterday morning I felt really down, but an amazing person makes me smile all the time. So I feel lucky.

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