FabSwingers.com forum: No strings

By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Question for women. If you are arranging a date / social only with a new guy on here with some distance involved and he offers to book somewhere to stay , with no strings, just for practical reasons and to spend more time together , does it put you off? Do you assume it’s because they will try and have sex. Is that your actual experience ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in my experience, but when I travel a long distance and choose to stay over then I book the hotel for me ... so it's never an issue!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not in my experience, but when I travel a long distance and choose to stay over then I book the hotel for me ... so it's never an issue! "

My experience also

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By *oxy lady40Woman
over a year ago

bridgwater

Wouldn’t want the pressure on a first meet ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the hotel was just for them then I wouldn't assume anything.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

If I’m doing the travelling I normally book my own place so wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t find it strange if they did either. Just be clear in your communication that it is no strings attached, we are adults can make our own choices and also manage to be in a hotel room without getting naked

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"If I’m doing the travelling I normally book my own place so wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t find it strange if they did either. Just be clear in your communication that it is no strings attached, we are adults can make our own choices and also manage to be in a hotel room without getting naked "

I know that , some women think men are incapable of that !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was to travel i’d book my own hotel. A bloke booking the hotel for me would unnerve me a bit. I suppose as someone said you just have to be clear about what will and wont happen.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I know that , some women think men are incapable of that !!!!

Could be past experiences controlling that though, so an element of trust they’d need to feel to believe others that say differently.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have guys offering to travel a long way to meet us for a social saying they will get a hotel. We never accept their offer because it would feel awkward to us if we declined a further meet.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"We have guys offering to travel a long way to meet us for a social saying they will get a hotel. We never accept their offer because it would feel awkward to us if we declined a further meet."

Same

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If its just for him to stay in so he doesn't have to travel back/can have a couple of drinks then that's fine. Though if at any point I felt I was being pressured to go back to it with him or I ended up guilt tripped about him "wasting money on a hotel" when it was very clearly just intended to be a social, I'd be off and he'd be blocked in a heartbeat.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

It would put me off. Unless there's a really good connection there already. If I knew they liked travelling and hotels or that they were tying something else into their visit it may help.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have done this in the past, travelled a fair distance, booked my own hotel and then met elsewhere. Only once has it ended in my meet asking where I was staying, which for a social, I didn't expect

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

It would put me off. For someone travelling a long way just to meet me and no other plans I would assume they would want more than a chat.

I feel clear communication is a must, and respect any boundaries!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men presuming turns me right off

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"It would put me off. For someone travelling a long way just to meet me and no other plans I would assume they would want more than a chat.

I feel clear communication is a must, and respect any boundaries!"

Me too. I do not want anyone traveling for hours to meet me for a social - as I'd feel pressured. I'm constantly telling people this to be told, they don't mind.

But I do

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It would put me off. I've had men offer to stay in a hotel after meeting me for a social. I say 'that's an expensive coffee', they usually change their minds then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might put me off a bit but if I have said it's a social only, it always means sex is not going to happen, so whatever he chooses to do with the time he won't be on our social, is up to him and doesn't concern me too much... If he had booked a room trying to get laid tho, I would find it fairly amusing, knowing he wouldn't be sharing it with me... But I find amusement in very strange places

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

Myself and Roger met via tinder, both got our own room as we were out of town. Ended up in his watching greatest showman on YouTube

Not always about sex. Although we did end up having it

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

If I am that invested in wanting to travel a long way to meet him for a social then I would want him to have a hotel room available.

If I had any thought of it heading for the friend zone I'd would have already prebooked my own hotel so I had somewhere to go

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I usually meet people from quite far away, I always book a hotel room, in Exeter, it comes with a caveat. I will not drink alcohol on any meeting until they have indicated we are likely to spend the night together. That way I can drive home if it’s going to be a no or we just don’t click.

I have an account with a rather nice little hotel and settle up the bill either way. When I stay in my Cornwall place there are a number of spare bedrooms each one of them can be locked from within, so if someone comes over for dinner and we don’t click, they can stay and if they are nervous, they have some security.

I think the onus is always on the single guy in these situations to create the safest environment they can and give their potential partner lots of options to reduce pressure. This doesn’t eliminate the need for a woman to be extremely careful who she meets (as with all of us really), but hopefully reduces the some of the pitfalls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he offers to book somewhere to stay then he is blatantly hinting at more than a social. I wouldn't meet him at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would put me off in honesty. I would only do a social first on neutral grounds. I like to leave a social and make my mind up about someone in my own time.

If they're staying in a hotel I'd rather they didn't tell me till after I'd left the social. Its in them if they want to do it but I'd rather not know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet for sex, so it would have been agreed before hand. So not an issue xx

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Men presuming turns me right off"

This. I make it very clear first time is a quick social. They can book a hotel if they like, but I'm going home.

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By *RssCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

"I only meet for sex, so it would have been agreed before hand. So not an issue xx"
we only meet for sex as well

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

"I usually meet people from quite far away, I always book a hotel room, in Exeter, it comes with a caveat. I will not drink alcohol on any meeting until they have indicated we are likely to spend the night together. That way I can drive home if it’s going to be a no or we just don’t click.

Why would it be down to the guy to create a safe environment? If I go to meet a guy its down to me to take any precautions and steps to make sure I'm safe. My safety is my responsibility no one else's.

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