FabSwingers.com forum: Unexpected pregnancy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I had unprotected sex with a lass, I met her and within within an hour off meeting here we slept together,she finds out she's pregnant a while later.....I accept responsibility because clearly we both chose to be stupid and be unprotected......I tell her I will go through all scans and appointments ect....but once the baby's born I want a DNA, all of a sudden I'm apparently calling her a slag ?? I'm now public enemy number 1 ?? any female advice or experience would help? Genuinely not meaning to portray or make her feel like that, I just don't know her history same as she didn't mine lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I had unprotected sex with a lass, I met her and within within an hour off meeting here we slept together,she finds out she's pregnant a while later.....I accept responsibility because clearly we both chose to be stupid and be unprotected......I tell her I will go through all scans and appointments ect....but once the baby's born I want a DNA, all of a sudden I'm apparently calling her a slag ?? I'm now public enemy number 1 ?? any female advice or experience would help? Genuinely not meaning to portray or make her feel like that, I just don't know her history same as she didn't mine lol "

If you were my brother I'd ask and I'd hope you would get a DNA test.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also change your name to lets have safe fun ....

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Was this a fab meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously you need to for sure and I think that is very reasonable.

I can also see why she may be upset as she probably feels unbelieved but I think she should agree to the DNA test.

I would hold your ground and be as supportive as you can but make it very clear you want and need that test.

Also maybe best to wrap it up in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are joking now OP... Yea...

If not she has options...I know you have no say in a termination but jeez I'd be straight to my GP firstly for the morning after pill and if it was too late for that pill I'd be onto the next stage of termination pill...chat to her about her options and try to convince her to terminate with empathy of course. Best of Luck with your dilemma...that's the way I see it anyway...a crisis pregnancy = a dilemma which can be very easily sorted in the early stages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

Wow so I respect your opinion but in no way am I going to pressure her into an abortion, and as much as I don't want another child if it is mine IL be their.....the post wasn't asking for advise on how to handle the pregnancy just more to see if I was being a cunt asking for the DNA.. and how to go forward from their

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

Wow!

nobody should be convinced into a termination!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Was this a fab meet?"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

Oh ok...I admire you for that...I didn't mean for you to pressurise her into a termination... Just to mention it that she has options and would she not consider a termination. How far is this pregnancy???

But yes definitely insist on a DNA test in the nicest way possible. She probably thought you thought she was trying to trick you by saying the baby is yours & pregnant women can be quite sensitive too & the mind can work overtime.

She has to understand that it's completely understandable why you would request a DNA test

Imo I can't believe she is actually going ahead with this pregnancy... It was basically a 1-night stand if I'm correct... Not fair on the foetus either.

But anyway I wish you luck OP whatever the outcome may be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DNA is the right call. It sounds like an urban myth but I do know a guy who was similarly caught out, ended up finding out his daughter wasn't his when she was 6 or 7. Gutwrenching all round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

Wow!

nobody should be convinced into a termination!"

Not to be convinced or pressurised into a termination...just to be reminded of their options... & to be done in the early stages of pregnancy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I disagree with abortions, I don't think being an idiot and not being safe means to loose a life, although if that's what she wanted I'd respect that, at the same time I'm not going to be asking her to do it....

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I would insist on a DNA test. Who's to say she hasn't had unprotected sex with other men? After all didn't that happen within half hour of meeting you for the first time?

Could've happened to others as far as anyone knows.

Bet you won't make that mistake again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I disagree with abortions, I don't think being an idiot and not being safe means to loose a life, although if that's what she wanted I'd respect that, at the same time I'm not going to be asking her to do it...."

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

She has to understand that it's completely understandable why you would request a DNA test

Imo I can't believe she is actually going ahead with this pregnancy... It was basically a 1-night stand if I'm correct... Not fair on the foetus either.

But anyway I wish you luck OP whatever the outcome may be. "

If you don't get a DNA test OP you are an idiot. She may be pregnant by someone else but shagging around to con as many men as possible to get daddy money from them.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m surprised she’s even questioning why you asked! Of course you insist on a DNA test.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger. "

If it is loved and cared for what does it matter? Many children born in to secure relationships don't have that.

If I got pregnant from a one night stand I'd probably keep it. I know so many people who struggle to conceive. I've watched the heart break of so many rounds of failed ivf. I know I can love and support a child. How it is conceived is irrelevant.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

Wow!

nobody should be convinced into a termination!

Not to be convinced or pressurised into a termination...just to be reminded of their options... & to be done in the early stages of pregnancy "

Yet you actually did say to convince her to get an abortion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/21 07:17:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger. "

Hey i think that is a little uncalled for

OP... I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

My only other thought is do you know the pregnancy is genuine - part of me is wondering if it is a scam? I guess if you are local you'll be able to establish that fact fairly soon?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child "

Whilst I agree nobody should be coerced I don’t agree with the rest. It’s like when people question pregnant women being on here having sex and say it’s their decision only. So the father doesn’t get a say at all?

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

What an emotional situation to be in, and so nice of you to take the attitude that you are and that you will stand by her.

I completely support you getting in getting a DNA test it makes total sense.

Maybe she's just feeling a little bit scared or upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have every right to ask for a DNA test. I'd be hurt if you asked and I was your girlfriend, but a one off meet? She has no grounds to be upset in my opinion.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Probably shocked from being asked, maybe wasn’t expecting it. DNA is the right and sensible thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Around abortion then I'll disagree with you, it is only a decision for her ... only she goes through it and only she lives the consequences of that no-one else ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger. "

As a child of the same kind is circumstance I’ve gotta say it’s never bothered me! I feel extremely lucky, I was brought up well and surrounded by love... my parents being horny bastards didnt take away from my upbringing at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Around abortion then I'll disagree with you, it is only a decision for her ... only she goes through it and only she lives the consequences of that no-one else ..."

Totally Disagree! My brother’s wife had an abortion for various reasons. Not a day goes by without him feeling the guilt of that (even though he agreed to it too)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to 18-21 years of maintenance payments and poverty.

That's what stupidity gets you.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

[Removed by poster at 06/05/21 07:35:05]

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude. "

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

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By *exy4youxxWoman
over a year ago

Pontefract

"Was this a fab meet?

Yes "

If it was a fab meet I think you are well within your right to ask for a paternity test she has unprotected sex with a stranger how many more has she had ... unless you actually had a relationship with her ? We can't really make any judgement as we don't know the full story but I admire that you are willing to stick around for her xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome to 18-21 years of maintenance payments and poverty.

That's what stupidity gets you.

Yeah I think he gets that bit! And good on for stepping up , I'm not sure how many would!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree "

Wow!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

You are not accusing her of being the town bike but it would take just one other man to make it a possibility that it is not yours. I would apologise that she thought you were implying anything but that it is important for everybody involved especially for the unborn child that there are no doubts.

If you intend to be in the child's life after they are born then it's paramount that you have the best possible relationship with the mother. So you are not wrong in asking for a dna but do what you can to soothe her hurt feelings. This must be a very scary time for her so show her as much kindness as you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are not accusing her of being the town bike but it would take just one other man to make it a possibility that it is not yours. I would apologise that she thought you were implying anything but that it is important for everybody involved especially for the unborn child that there are no doubts.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

Wow indeed!

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By *utterypopcornCouple
over a year ago

oxford

I agree your a better man than most possibly me included. I would have thought you could avoid all financial payments until DNA was proven.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Around abortion then I'll disagree with you, it is only a decision for her ... only she goes through it and only she lives the consequences of that no-one else ...

Totally Disagree! My brother’s wife had an abortion for various reasons. Not a day goes by without him feeling the guilt of that (even though he agreed to it too) "

Oh I've known the same ... and for various reasons, totally different to this scenario, been through it though thankfully a different outcome, also know several guys who feel terrible about it too.

But I'm sorry it is her body, only she has to go through with it and only she feels that and it's totally different to this and his feelings

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

Ok Lorna. One more question as I don’t want to take over this thread. If a woman is pregnant and is on here meeting lots of men, bareback or not you’re saying that’s nothing to do with the father of that baby as it’s her body yes and he shouldn’t even have an opinion never mind a say?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Will your name be on the birth certificate ?

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

No you are definitely not being a cunt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!"

I admit I went off topic yes. I’ll leave it now. But that was the point I was trying to get across.

Equality when it suits in this place sometimes!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Apologies op. I’ll be off now. Good luck with it all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!

I admit I went off topic yes. I’ll leave it now. But that was the point I was trying to get across.

Equality when it suits in this place sometimes!"

Again wow!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!

I admit I went off topic yes. I’ll leave it now. But that was the point I was trying to get across.

Equality when it suits in this place sometimes!"

Autonomy over your body is not a matter for equality. No one has equal say over my body, I make the decisions _ased on risk factors. People can have opinions but then opinions are like arse holes.... Everyone has one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonder how she feel about you now posting on the forums about this

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!

I admit I went off topic yes. I’ll leave it now. But that was the point I was trying to get across.

Equality when it suits in this place sometimes!

So if a woman wants to potentially put a child at risk that’s nothing to do with the father as it’s her body? I cannot believe I’m getting wow comments on this!! I really can’t!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

Even if dad does not have parental responsibility then he will still have certain legal duties towards the child, such as paying child maintenance. The dad cannot avoid paying child maintenance by stating that he did not wish for the mother to continue with the pregnancy or that he would pay if the mother allowed him to have parental responsibility.

All very eye opening isn’t it

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

This is one decision that should NEVER be coerced by someone else! Her life, her body, her baby ... ONLY her decision! He's already stated he'll stand by the child

Off topic a bit and that’s another thread but I don’t think everything is just the woman’s decision only.

Of course its only a womans decision!

A father can chose to be involved or not but absolutely nobody can choose what someone chooses to do with her body!

I'm shocked at this attitude.

Really?! So if a woman is pregnant and still on here meeting loads of people that’s nothing to do with the father of that child as it’s her body?!

Be as shocked as you want. I don’t agree

Wow!

You are completely going off topic and I think its best i just say no body gets to decide what someone else does with their body. Of course somebody can have an opinion but no they do not a say!

I admit I went off topic yes. I’ll leave it now. But that was the point I was trying to get across.

Equality when it suits in this place sometimes!

So if a woman wants to potentially put a child at risk that’s nothing to do with the father as it’s her body? I cannot believe I’m getting wow comments on this!! I really can’t!"

Yes. That truly is how it works. You would hope they consider the risks involved with having sex while pregnant as with smoking/drinking while pregnant but at the end of the day she can choose to do what she wants to do.

If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

As said previously, he can express concern, he can discuss options, he can say why he would rather she chose alternative ways of getting pleasure while pregnant but he cannot ultimately stop her doing things.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Wonder how she feel about you now posting on the forums about this "

I can't praise the OP enough, he's asked if asking for a DNA test is ok. Which I personally think it is. Maybe he didn't want to tell people they know they met on fab so the child never finds out, but he also wanted to ask people's opinion. I think he's done the best by the lady in question.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'd definitely want a dna test.

If I were the woman, even if I was Surer than sure you were the father, I'd understand why you'd need that to move forward with no doubts in your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger. "

I don’t think that matters even if the child did find out. But there’s no need for the child to know. It’s no measure of what kind of parent you’ll be.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Can you have a DNA test while the baby is still in the womb ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you have a DNA test while the baby is still in the womb ?"

I think its possible but dangerous to the baby so only done in exceptional circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger.

If it is loved and cared for what does it matter? Many children born in to secure relationships don't have that.

I completely agree

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Can you have a DNA test while the baby is still in the womb ?

I think its possible but dangerous to the baby so only done in exceptional circumstances. "

I have just Googled it. Costs about £800 and is perfectly safe for mother and baby. Works from nine weeks.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

OP.

1. Get the DNA test. Doesn't matter what other people say or feel.

2. Some of the posts here appear harsh but I think collectively all of them are sound. Though you already have made your mind (very responsible of you, congrats) but do keep some of the harsh opinions at the back of your mind as well, to prepare yourself for whatever that might occur in the future.

3. Wishing you the best in life always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you have a DNA test while the baby is still in the womb ?

I think its possible but dangerous to the baby so only done in exceptional circumstances. "

Iv just looked it up and I was wrong. You can have one but they are expensive.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Iv just looked it up and I was wrong. You can have one but they are expensive. "

Yes I agree they are expensive but maybe worth it not to pay maintenance for 18 years if the baby isn't really yours and who can put a price on forming an emotional attachment to a child then finding out years later they aren't yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv just looked it up and I was wrong. You can have one but they are expensive.

Yes but in this situation it wouldn't be years, it would be soon after birth going by what the OP has said.

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Did ye aye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck son.

Whatever happens learn from it.

Life's really hard disk not make it harder

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Yes but in this situation it wouldn't be years, it would be soon after birth going by what the OP has said. "

True, if the mother agrees to the DNA test.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but in this situation it wouldn't be years, it would be soon after birth going by what the OP has said.

True, if the mother agrees to the DNA test. "

I'm not on what happens if she refuses?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely right to ask for a test when baby arrives and there’s no valid reason for the mother to be offended. You don’t know each other, so it makes total sense. If I was her I would have offered it before you had to ask.

Good luck with it all OP. I personally think a baby is always a lovely thing.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

How would it be viewed if it were the other way round and the male partner of a pregnant woman was going round still playing with as many others as possible and saying "It's my body and I can do what I want with it"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respect for sticking by the mother OP.

I think you're well within your rights to ask for a DNA test before paying maintainence or starting a relationship with the mother xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to the actual OP, firstly, congratulations on soon becoming a dad, it's great you're going to be involved and I don't think you're at all unjustified in asking for DNA proof, considering how you met.

Best of luck with it xx

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing...."

Indeed

Based on this, it seems like the OP could, in theory, let the woman concerned go through with the pregnancy in full - or not - on her own, and then tell her to get a DNA test to prove that it's his after all. Basically put all the onus on her, seeing as legally he's not got any rights at the moment anyway

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

If I was the woman in question, I would want a DNA test. Obviously, only she knows the full story but I would want it for clarity and to start this process on the right foot. Mutual, amicable responsibility for an unborn baby.

I always feel as though the child is overlooked. I feel the same with the threads that are looking for women to impregnate. It’s an innocent child we are talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

Then he would be within his rights to do that.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

Getting PR and being added to the birth certificate is a pretty easy process.

Also if the mother refuses the DNA test through CMS then no maintenance would be due.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk. "

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing...."

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

She has to understand that it's completely understandable why you would request a DNA test

Imo I can't believe she is actually going ahead with this pregnancy... It was basically a 1-night stand if I'm correct... Not fair on the foetus either.

But anyway I wish you luck OP whatever the outcome may be. "

Jeez!

Who are you to say if someone should go through with a pregnancy or not?! You don't know her background or anything.

Convince her to terminate?

That's her choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

There is a simple solution to this.

Don't have casual unprotected sex with someone who you have not agreed to have a child with.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

True. I've known several in the past who had their lives turned into an inferno because the mother decided to be a c*nt. Most shocking of all is that the behaviour had "legal" cover.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"You are joking now OP... Yea...

That depends on if she wanted to get pregnant or not.

There are some women who want to get pregnant, then pick and choose who the father could be. That way she gets to choose who she can rinse later.

One of my very short term girlfriends wanted to get pregnant, so she could get a flat. Safe to say, I didn't help her on that one.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

Reasonableness?

Have the people who drafted this law ever even met a woman before???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

Reasonableness?

Have the people who drafted this law ever even met a woman before???

Thats not ok! Most are reasonable and this thread has become very unpleasant and a woman bashing thread.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances"

In these circumstances I think it absolutely does and I feel quite strongly about it. Even if people don’t agree which is their prerogative. I would have never thought it’s none of my husbands business if I went fucking around when I was carrying his baby and potentially putting it at risk! This place shocks me sometimes. I think I live on a different planet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, but my sister needs £10,000 pounds for a life changing operation all of a sudden......

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

Don't men do this any way? Seriously though, if that is what he wants and he has considered the risks then fine.

In the OP's situation they are not a couple or in a relationship so he is free to do as he wishes as is she.

How many posts about pregnant women have we seen on here where women say they are at their horniest when pregnant and multiple men say they find it a turn on to either watch their pregnant partner fuck someone or to fuck a pregnant woman?

I'll accept that these situations are often discussed between partners and the decision is probably _ased more around respect for their relationship and morality that encompasses. But as the most _ase argument it is still her body and her choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Son listen now.

Im gonna be honestly brutal and what I'm gonna say will piss loads off.

You've been trapped by a slapper.

What were you thinking boy!

You've gone in there bareback with a complete stranger god knows what damage you've done to yourself or caught.

You've no respect for yourself or others playing around like some god damn alleycat.

So let's say it's yours. You idiot.

Don't think that bitch is Gonna want you around, she's got no attachment to you, all you were was part of her plan and you fell straight in.

Soon as she's you for payments your outta there and don't think you can see the kid when you want. she's in charge now of your whole fucking life, she won't call but you miss a payment you'll hear plenty.

She will be fucking everyone in town while your paying for her new phone and TV and still not seeing your kid.

And let's say she is pregnant but it's not yours.

Your still a dick for meeting it in the first place and an even bigger dick for not protecting yourself.

Sorry if I'm tough with you boy but the world's a rough tough place and you just made it a whole lot harder.

Pull yourself together

Get some self respect and behave yourself.

You’re calling her a slapper and a bitch. You don’t know anything about this woman. Is this the acceptable way to refer to a woman on fab? I do hope he’s not paying any attention to your derogatory, offensive comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the 21st century

Like we told our son - there is NO EXCUSE

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway. "

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

Exactly. I give up! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

Ultimately you can advise and express concern and say I think this is unacceptable and I don't want you to do this however you can't physically stop someone doing as they choose with their body that is the ultimate crux of the matter.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

Reasonableness?

Have the people who drafted this law ever even met a woman before???

Thats not ok! Most are reasonable and this thread has become very unpleasant and a woman bashing thread. "

I’m not bashing women, just attempting to highlight the struggle that men would have in securing their parental responsibility, should they wish it - because I think most just think they automatically have these rights.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex. "

Following that logic, why does it need to be restricted to just two strangers? Any couple can each do as they please, right? Regardless of how the other one feels about the situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

I agree, especially when you think the whole process probably won’t be straight forward, is probably expensive and you’re still not guaranteed gaining what you’ve applied for.

Dads are essentially at the mercy of the mum and relying on her reasonableness.

Reasonableness?

Have the people who drafted this law ever even met a woman before???

Thats not ok! Most are reasonable and this thread has become very unpleasant and a woman bashing thread.

It wasn't aimed at you it was aimed at the comment regarding have they met a woman.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex.

Following that logic, why does it need to be restricted to just two strangers? Any couple can each do as they please, right? Regardless of how the other one feels about the situation?"

Thats not what I said!

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex.

Following that logic, why does it need to be restricted to just two strangers? Any couple can each do as they please, right? Regardless of how the other one feels about the situation?"

Ultimately, yes. If one wants to have sex with someone else they can because it's their body, their choice. The consequence of that may be the breakdown of the relationship and all the other heartache and financial turmoil that can bring. No one has ever said there are no consequences to consider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing...."

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex.

Following that logic, why does it need to be restricted to just two strangers? Any couple can each do as they please, right? Regardless of how the other one feels about the situation?

That's not what I said! "

How isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this was a post from a guy saying he forbids/bans his pregnant partner from doing something I'm sure you'd react differently.

To be fair that wasn’t my point. He doesn’t have a living thing inside him which he is potentially putting at risk.

To be honest, it wasn't mine either. I was sort of agreeing with your earlier statement that men and women are treated very differently, especially seemingly in this case.

I was more concerned with the "it's my body and I'll.do what I want with it" attitude that implies that absolutely no one else matters, whatever the circumstances

I think you will find nobody actually said it was none of his business. Just made it clear it is each individuals choice what they do with their body and was way off topic anyway.

Which basically means it's none of his business what she does, surely?

And I apologize for my earlier comment, which was only intended as a light hearted throwaway line. Genuinely no offense intended

Not the same at all.

This is why If you don't want to have the responsibility of having a child with a stranger then don't have casual unprotected sex.

Following that logic, why does it need to be restricted to just two strangers? Any couple can each do as they please, right? Regardless of how the other one feels about the situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the post wasn't asking for advise on how to handle the pregnancy just more to see if I was being a cunt asking for the DNA.. and how to go forward from their "

You're definitely not being a cunt, I totally understand why she's upset and you not being a cunt I'm sure you do too, hopefully now you have a level of intimacy between you should mean you can have a frank conversation, I'm sure if she knows you're willing to be there for her, you trust her but for your own peace of mind a DNA test is something you need and no reflection on her she'll come round.

Sometimes I wish everybody would read "The Four Agreements" great book, teaches us not to take anything anyone else does personally.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe "

Unfortunately not, only automatic if married at the time the child is born or unmarried parents jointly register the child’s birth (the latter is _ased in different dates in each country of the UK)

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe "

Only if married or if named on birth certificate. Not automatic for folk in more casual situations. They have to rely on the mum putting them on birth certificate or applying for parental rights themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

OP you are well within your rights to ask for a dna test and the right thing to do for all concerned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them. "

Precisely this ^^^

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them. "

Then someone should notify the uk GOV website cos that’s where I got the info

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

What a lucky child to find out that their parents only met for a quick shag with a stranger. "

Lots of pregnancies over the centuries have been made that way by way of one night stands

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

Then someone should notify the uk GOV website cos that’s where I got the info

I quote “ A mother automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth.

A father usually has parental responsibility if he’s either:

married to the child’s mother

listed on the birth certificate (after a certain date, depending on which part of the UK the child was born in)

You can apply for parental responsibility if you do not automatically have it.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them. "

OK I think there is confusion between parental rights and parental responsibility, no if a father is not on the birth certificate he does not have parental responsibility but he does have rights under the law.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them. "

I’m not sure where you are looking for gov.uk sets it out quite clearly

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Not being funny but are you positive she is pregnant?. I know a married man on here who had sex with a young female who later claimed to be pregnant and demanded £500 for an abortion. Sadly alot of scams going on.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

I’m not sure where you are looking for gov.uk sets it out quite clearly

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility"

that’s it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

I’m not sure where you are looking for gov.uk sets it out quite clearly

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility"

There is a difference between parental responsibility and having rights under law which is what I am trying to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

Then someone should notify the uk GOV website cos that’s where I got the info

I quote “ A mother automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth.

A father usually has parental responsibility if he’s either:

married to the child’s mother

listed on the birth certificate (after a certain date, depending on which part of the UK the child was born in)

You can apply for parental responsibility if you do not automatically have it.”

That's why I actually said rights not responsibility ^^^

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Exactly this.

I know a lot of dads that have been frozen out of their children’s lives because they’re not on the birth certificate and weren’t married.

It’s an awful imbalance at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooo when's the fab baby due?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

I’m not sure where you are looking for gov.uk sets it out quite clearly

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

There is a difference between parental responsibility and having rights under law which is what I am trying to say. "

Rights / responsibilities is the same thing and all comes back to the _ase parental responsibility as mentioned above. The only person who has automatic rights/responsibilities is the birth mother

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By *oulou75Woman
over a year ago

Chesterfield

She doesnt have to know you are doing the DNA test if you have access to the baby once its born, you can get a swab kit sent to you, swab inside of yours and babys mouth and send them off. We did this with my middle lad first child, although the mother knew, it was done purely because she had admitted to cheating on him 8 times, it came back the baby was his

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whether we like it or not, under UK law (Children Act 1989) a father does not have parental responsibility for a child until after the child is born.

It’s up to the mum to decide whether she will allow the father to accompany her to register the birth and be named on the child’s birth certificate.

It’s not legally required that the dad’s details are included on the birth certificate - even if no doubt about who the dad is or for the child to be given the dad’s surname.

If dad is not married to the mum and is not named on the birth certificate then he can make a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mum or apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.

All very eye opening isn’t it

This needs serious updating. Comes across as a very raw deal for the father if the woman wishes to be unreasonable. Small wonder the MGTOW movement keeps growing....

All dads have automatic parental rights since 2002 I believe

Iv just looked this up and thats not the case. The law was changed and the father doesn’t need to be on the birth certificate and he does get rights without have to apply for them.

I’m not sure where you are looking for gov.uk sets it out quite clearly

https://www.gov.uk/parental-rights-responsibilities/who-has-parental-responsibility

There is a difference between parental responsibility and having rights under law which is what I am trying to say.

Rights / responsibilities is the same thing and all comes back to the _ase parental responsibility as mentioned above. The only person who has automatic rights/responsibilities is the birth mother "

Its actually not the same in this case.

It is not true that a man has no rights under law if he is not on the birth certificate.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I thought we had come a long way of thinking women are slappers if they have sex and men are studs

Lets have some respect for women please.

To the OP I am going to have to shut this now as you have mentioned the female is on here but my advice would be the same as most on here, as we are on here to have sex with multiple people, I would be asking for a DNA test too

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