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"Everyone gets tricked, fooled etc. Sometimes you just don't see it. If it doesn't feel right best to get out while you can." Absolutely not what I was asking but thanks | |||
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"After being on here twice before and being affected by as you call them time wasters multiple times and at certain times it upsetting my wife we now enjoy a lovely painless fab experience which works very very well for her and therefore it works for me also. And our secret is our profile. It’s simple and in plain sight but allows my wife the pleasure of the hunt as opposed to pandering to the cunt. T" That’s interesting. I’ve seen lots of people say that people tend to ignore profiles, so why do you feel that yours is different? I might be inclined to say that your location might preclude an awful lot of the negative aspects but that’s my immediate reaction | |||
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"I shall not divulge the magick used to spot red flags, as it will be used by the dark forces to avoid detection. " That’s part of the problem! | |||
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"I trust my instincts and i also message for a while before having a social. I never experienced someone not showing up. " Is it just that or do you use other methods too? | |||
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"I take a fairly pragmatic approach when it comes to meeting people from the Internet I think there's enough information readily available in regards to online safety and beyond for anyone who's new to meeting people that way And no, I don’t think fab should/could do more in relation to what's essentially an individual making poor choices at times" I’m not sure that I agree that people are making poor choices but it absolutely can be a grey area regarding fabs responsibility | |||
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"I take a fairly pragmatic approach when it comes to meeting people from the Internet I think there's enough information readily available in regards to online safety and beyond for anyone who's new to meeting people that way And no, I don’t think fab should/could do more in relation to what's essentially an individual making poor choices at times I’m not sure that I agree that people are making poor choices but it absolutely can be a grey area regarding fabs responsibility " No grey area. Fab is not responsible | |||
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"I take a fairly pragmatic approach when it comes to meeting people from the Internet I think there's enough information readily available in regards to online safety and beyond for anyone who's new to meeting people that way And no, I don’t think fab should/could do more in relation to what's essentially an individual making poor choices at times I’m not sure that I agree that people are making poor choices but it absolutely can be a grey area regarding fabs responsibility No grey area. Fab is not responsible " In your opinion | |||
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"I take a fairly pragmatic approach when it comes to meeting people from the Internet I think there's enough information readily available in regards to online safety and beyond for anyone who's new to meeting people that way And no, I don’t think fab should/could do more in relation to what's essentially an individual making poor choices at times I’m not sure that I agree that people are making poor choices but it absolutely can be a grey area regarding fabs responsibility No grey area. Fab is not responsible In your opinion" Well of course. Just clarifying that in my opinion it's not a grey area. | |||
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"I trust my instincts and i also message for a while before having a social. I never experienced someone not showing up. Is it just that or do you use other methods too? " Nope that's pretty much it. Maybe a big pinch of luck and a positive attitude? | |||
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"I trust my instincts and i also message for a while before having a social. I never experienced someone not showing up. Is it just that or do you use other methods too? " I've never experienced no show, however I have had cancellations which is perfectly fine, it's natural for people to change their mind. I do all the time although always prior to setting a date . I "usually" meet quickly from first contact so there's not that much " time to be wasted " anyway. That aside, it's all gut feeling I guess | |||
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"And no, I don't think fab has a responsibility to police this. Obviously spam profiles eg asking for money, drugs etc can be reported. Same with stolen photos. " I agree. Fab isn't responsible for your behaviour or mine. They set up a sandbox and we interact as we see fit. Every platform has people who always try to take advantage or time waste or create fake profiles. It's on me to find the nuggets of gold in the river of crap not them | |||
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"After being on here twice before and being affected by as you call them time wasters multiple times and at certain times it upsetting my wife we now enjoy a lovely painless fab experience which works very very well for her and therefore it works for me also. And our secret is our profile. It’s simple and in plain sight but allows my wife the pleasure of the hunt as opposed to pandering to the cunt. T That’s interesting. I’ve seen lots of people say that people tend to ignore profiles, so why do you feel that yours is different? I might be inclined to say that your location might preclude an awful lot of the negative aspects but that’s my immediate reaction " We are just off the A20 which is a main route to Spain and pre-Covid we spent much time in the uk and as for ignoring our profile then that’s one aspect that works in our favor as it states. T | |||
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"Hmmm, interesting, I've never really dissected it...after so many years it's probably a combination of auto-pilot and instinct. I'm very perceptive in general so a big part of it will be gut feeling while chatting. Being verified by meeting is a big one for me, although that's more to do with safety than spotting fakes...I'd much rather someone else run the risk of being turned into a lampshade than me There are the obvious red flags like talking about women as if they're sex objects, all that Mr Grey bollocks, graphic and crude sexual talk, arrogance etc. I think everything else is going to be very individual as people see different traits and behaviours as either positive or negative depending on their individual outlook and wants. I've never had a no-show though, so it must be working how I want it to. " To be honest, I was very instinctive until a couple of years ago when I got led a merry dance by a well verified lady. I then spotted where I’d gone wrong and it became a lot more conscious. I’ve relied on being a good reader of people for the most part, like you, but that will only take you so far. Since it became more conscious I found that it made it easier to spot the red flags | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? " What would make people think that about you? | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? " Paranoia! A fear of mine is being misunderstood. I don't mind what people think about me as long as it's based in truth. | |||
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"Having been caught out on two occasions, I am now taking my time to get to know a person.. it works not just on fabs. " Good philosophy is that | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? Paranoia! A fear of mine is being misunderstood. I don't mind what people think about me as long as it's based in truth. " | |||
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"There are specific things that I look out for, both in actions and words. My instincts are there for a reason and have served me very well. If it feels off then it is off, no matter how lovely the person seems to be. It took a while for me to be comfortable with my approach but I’m there now and have been for a while now " FAir enough is that. Might be as simple as there's just no chemistry too | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? " This thread, all the talk on the site of fakers and time wasters, photo bunnies, etc. From the other side it is another barrier for genuine single men. | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? This thread, all the talk on the site of fakers and time wasters, photo bunnies, etc. From the other side it is another barrier for genuine single men." Why is it a barrier? | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? This thread, all the talk on the site of fakers and time wasters, photo bunnies, etc. From the other side it is another barrier for genuine single men. Why is it a barrier? " I do agree. If people are more weary then things can be taken the wrong way . But I get it totally. I think as in life you just have to be yourself right? Then see what happens | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? This thread, all the talk on the site of fakers and time wasters, photo bunnies, etc. From the other side it is another barrier for genuine single men. Why is it a barrier? " Thanks for correct. It should have been hurdle, sometimes a high hurdle. | |||
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"I've only once been stood up, but think he did it out of spite as I had to change a meet when my dad was ill. I don't do dirty chat and move on if someone keeps pushing for it, also don't give out any more pics than are on my profile or move to kik to swap any. As for cheats, I've got pretty decent at sussing them out. I do always ask when I chat to someone, but obvs people lie. There are red flags and I don't mean just not accomodating. I guess if I feel something Is off, I stop engaging with a person and it generally works for me. " The gut feeling is definitely a big thing for me | |||
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"I worry people think I'm one of these time wasters or someone with ulterior motives. I understand why people are way cautious though. Best to be safe than sorry right? What would make people think that about you? This thread, all the talk on the site of fakers and time wasters, photo bunnies, etc. From the other side it is another barrier for genuine single men. Why is it a barrier? Thanks for correct. It should have been hurdle, sometimes a high hurdle." I completely disagree. If you fall foul of a persons due diligence, then that’s just how it is. I’ve probably discounted people in the past that could have been a positive experience but I don’t regret making decisions that are intended to keep me safe, happy and my experiences good | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed." Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed. Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out " Like I said there are no guarantees but 95% of the time that's all that's needed for those initial interactions. The vast majority of posts about people having their time wasted (especially from single men) essentially come down to people not having used either and dived in feet first at the merest sniff of a meet. | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed. Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out " Do you think fab could have done more to save you being hoodwinked? | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed. Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out Do you think fab could have done more to save you being hoodwinked? " That’s not what I mean by fab having a degree of responsibility. It’s not about ‘time wasters’, etc but I do think that there are points at which more could be done. That’s more of a personal safety thing though | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed. Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out Like I said there are no guarantees but 95% of the time that's all that's needed for those initial interactions. The vast majority of posts about people having their time wasted (especially from single men) essentially come down to people not having used either and dived in feet first at the merest sniff of a meet." I think that the term time waster is bandied around with far too much alacrity. Passing messages isn’t time wasting, reading isn’t time wasting. Being stood up is time wasting. Thinking that you’re chatting to a 20 year old that looks just like a porn star who wants to meet a 45 year old bald overweight guy, isn’t time wasting | |||
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"Oh missed the last bit...is it heck Fab's responsibility to do more - it provides a conduit for people to meet nothing more - if people are unable to use their own due diligence that's not the site's fault or problem " Even if the people in question have been flagged, reported and have a history of assault, then go on to do it again? | |||
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"Quite simple really - a good dose of common sense is all that is needed for those initial interactions, couple that with a bit of gut instinct, and spending time getting to know someone rather than diving straight in and you won't go far wrong. Of course there are no guarantees and there will always be those who are out to dupe and deceive and you need to keep your guard up in case of them, but generally common sense and gut instinct are all that's needed. Hey GM! I hate to welcome you back by disagreeing, but here we are! Common sense and gut instinct can be enough but often it’s not, I thought that it would be but I’ve been caught out Like I said there are no guarantees but 95% of the time that's all that's needed for those initial interactions. The vast majority of posts about people having their time wasted (especially from single men) essentially come down to people not having used either and dived in feet first at the merest sniff of a meet. I think that the term time waster is bandied around with far too much alacrity. Passing messages isn’t time wasting, reading isn’t time wasting. Being stood up is time wasting. Thinking that you’re chatting to a 20 year old that looks just like a porn star who wants to meet a 45 year old bald overweight guy, isn’t time wasting " Agree that it's much overused, as is "fakes" but even putting aside those instances that *aren't* time-wasting - the number of "stood up" posts where with little probing it turns out the guy was in his car five minutes after the first message is quite common place, and lacking in common sense. | |||
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"Oh missed the last bit...is it heck Fab's responsibility to do more - it provides a conduit for people to meet nothing more - if people are unable to use their own due diligence that's not the site's fault or problem Even if the people in question have been flagged, reported and have a history of assault, then go on to do it again? " Assault should be reported to the police and dealt with by the law ... all fab can do is ban them but they can open up a new profile the next day? | |||
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"Oh missed the last bit...is it heck Fab's responsibility to do more - it provides a conduit for people to meet nothing more - if people are unable to use their own due diligence that's not the site's fault or problem Even if the people in question have been flagged, reported and have a history of assault, then go on to do it again? " That's a somewhat different scenario from your OP though, and even then Fab is limited in what it can do - not only to verify the "situation" in the first place but to block someone from the site in this day and age of VPNs and multiple IP/email address sources etc | |||
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