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Joke time!!

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By *icola2202 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Chatham

Throw in the best joke you’ve heard or have

My favourite is: Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops?

They don’t do fuck all for your knob but they make you look hard

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

What did Sooty say to Matthew?

.

Ans. If you get your hand from up my arse I'm going to smack you in the bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Throw in the best joke you’ve heard or have

My favourite is: Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops?

They don’t do fuck all for your knob but they make you look hard "

think thats my favorate new joke

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By *icola2202 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Chatham


"Throw in the best joke you’ve heard or have

My favourite is: Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops?

They don’t do fuck all for your knob but they make you look hard

think thats my favorate new joke"

haha use it x

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By *lair101TV/TS
over a year ago

Aberdeen, westhill

The other night my girlfriend and I are in bed together. She says, 'Anthony, I want you to pee on me.' Now I have never thought about peeing on a woman in my entire life. Never even imagined it before but then I got the green light and apparently, it's my thing. I just jumped up right away. But as soon as that begins she starts screaming at me; like it's my fault she talks in her sleep.

– Anthony Jeselnik

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay twenty quid to have a lentil on my chest

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By *mateur100Man
over a year ago

nr faversham

I was eating my lunch in a cafe the other day when I found something on my plate. I said to the cafe owner,

"oi, there's a worm in my meat pie!". He said "that's fat". I said " it's entitled to be, it's eaten all the fucking meat!".

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley


"I was eating my lunch in a cafe the other day when I found something on my plate. I said to the cafe owner,

"oi, there's a worm in my meat pie!". He said "that's fat". I said " it's entitled to be, it's eaten all the fucking meat!". "

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.

Currently in A&E waiting to be seen.

My American friend said to me the other day “have you ever been abroad”?

I answered “No I’ve always been a bloke”

Well in my case I wasn’t exactly honest x

Just bought a horse a thorough bred.

My mate asked “what you going to do with it”?

Race it I said,

He responded “My monies on the horse “

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

A book fell on my head

I only have my shelf to blame.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

What kind of bees make milk?

Boo-bees!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?"

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo? "

no idea

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo? no idea "

Still no idea

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

[Removed by poster at 04/05/21 12:51:53]

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

The pope was in Liverpool blessing people who had queued up to see him. He got a teenage boy and said “how can I help you my my child?”

The lad replied “I need help with my hearing”

So the pope placed a hand on each of the lads ears, said a prayer, looked to the sky and kissed the lads forehead.

“How is your hearing now?” Asked the pope.

“I don’t know, it’s not until next Wednesday” replied the lad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes.......so she gave a me hug

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo? no idea "

I thought that was the answer to "What do you call a deer with no eyes?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the road?????

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Why did the pervert cross the road?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why did the chicken cross the road?????"

To get to the other side

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By *asygoingguy82Man
over a year ago

bognor

What is E.T short for?...........

Cos he's got short legs......sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Throw in the best joke you’ve heard or have

My favourite is: Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops?

They don’t do fuck all for your knob but they make you look hard "

I once swallowed a viagra by mistake, my neck was stiff for hours

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

~~

What do you feed a gay horse...

Haaaaaaaay

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

My favourite silly joke that always laugh at:

Where does a general keep his armies?

In his sleevies

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far


"Why did the chicken cross the road?????"

It was stuck on the perverts cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he needed a poo.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"Why did the pervert cross the road?"

Because he had his dick stuck in the chicken

I know no one asked, but I felt the need to tell you all anyway....

*Drops mic, exits stage left to the sound of his own footsteps*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why did the chicken cross the road?????

It was stuck on the perverts cock"

to get to the idiots House!!!@

Knock knock

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I just listed 49 of the 50 states to my American friend. Alaska what the last one is.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

What's the one thing worse than a male chauvinist pig?

A woman who won't do as she's bloody told!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I ran out of toilet paper so started using old newspapers.

The Times are rough.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"My favourite silly joke that always laugh at:

Where does a general keep his armies?

In his sleevies "

Dammit, I came here to post that one! Always makes me giggle

Mrs kf x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo? no idea

Still no idea "

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"What did the cat say to the

Kangaroo?

I don't know. What did the cat say to the kangaroo? no idea

I thought that was the answer to "What do you call a deer with no eyes?""

Give up x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear God..I got into David Bowie and you took him away from me.

Dear God..I got into Aretha Franklin and you took her away from me.

Dear God..I got into Amy Winehouse and you took her away from me.

Just to let you know God...I'm now into Justin Bieber.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Dear God..I got into David Bowie and you took him away from me.

Dear God..I got into Aretha Franklin and you took her away from me.

Dear God..I got into Amy Winehouse and you took her away from me.

Just to let you know God...I'm now into Justin Bieber."

Hes staying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dear God..I got into David Bowie and you took him away from me.

Dear God..I got into Aretha Franklin and you took her away from me.

Dear God..I got into Amy Winehouse and you took her away from me.

Just to let you know God...I'm now into Justin Bieber.

Hes staying "

We can mourn him together.

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

Why did Maggie Thatcher failed her driving test -

the lady is not for turning

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Dear God..I got into David Bowie and you took him away from me.

Dear God..I got into Aretha Franklin and you took her away from me.

Dear God..I got into Amy Winehouse and you took her away from me.

Just to let you know God...I'm now into Justin Bieber.

Hes staying

We can mourn him together. "

Noooo

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Roger Daltrey of The

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