FabSwingers.com forum: Ikea furniture

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.

Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It Should also come with a warning sticker not to put them up with someone you actually like because that may not last very long!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rue ReflectionsWoman
over a year ago

Hometown

yep!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.

He is wrong. The item collapses.

Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/21 13:12:14]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go

You saw us in there then! Sorry about that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.

Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!"

How many items do you have left to assemble?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.

He is wrong. The item collapses.

Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.

You have been a fly on our wall then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Oh Lorna this made me laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex-BombsCouple
over a year ago

Flitwick

Or just let the woman do it

she’ll read the instructions

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.

Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!

How many items do you have left to assemble? "

5 down 3 to go!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go

You saw us in there then! Sorry about that.

I swear every time I go in, there is some couple strife afoot. It usually ends with one of them storming off in front, down the aisle whilst the other one makes a sarcastic comment in their wake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or just let the woman do it

she’ll read the instructions

Exactly and IKEA you don't even to read JUST LOOK at the Pictures.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.

Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!

How many items do you have left to assemble?

5 down 3 to go!"

Oh wow! Good luck!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go

You saw us in there then! Sorry about that.

I swear every time I go in, there is some couple strife afoot. It usually ends with one of them storming off in front, down the aisle whilst the other one makes a sarcastic comment in their wake

Yep that was us. I will let you all decide who did the storming off?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wonder how many breakups have been caused due to flat pack furniture assembly.

Each item of furniture should come with 1 hours free couples therapy!

How many items do you have left to assemble?

5 down 3 to go!

Oh wow! Good luck! "

Ash will need it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you making

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooo god no

Love it nothing better than spending some bonding time with someone building something can be very fun

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely, nothing worse than building IKEA flatpacks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Oh eck no banish them from the room.

I’ve become very apt at just balancing things just so, boxes / books acting as the extra hands, so it can be assembled without anyone else around. If it goes wrong it’s my fault and not because I’ve been passed the wrong f’ing screws or alike.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are you making

It feels like the whole bloody showroom!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.

He is wrong. The item collapses.

Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.

You have been a fly on our wall then

Experience.

I want to go to IKEA now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you making

It feels like the whole bloody showroom!"

Are you making hotdogs later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh eck no banish them from the room.

So have I and always done it by self but some people just Can't help themselves but try and "help"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *X2019Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would just like to say we very much still love each other one of us is being a little bit on the cranky side.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex-BombsCouple
over a year ago

Flitwick

"Or just let the woman do it

she’ll read the instructions

Exactly and IKEA you don't even to read JUST LOOK at the Pictures."

Yep IKEA = simple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course

You come and bloody do it then!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I feel your pain Lorna and I'm not ashamed to admit that in the past I hired someone to come and build a bed for me. Far too fiddly and dull for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *X2019Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course

You come and bloody do it then!

I'd have done it for mates rates if you were closer lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel your pain Lorna and I'm not ashamed to admit that in the past I hired someone to come and build a bed for me. Far too fiddly and dull for me.

I wish we had done the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet

There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *_elia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Ikea. The land of lost souls...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love doing it, on my own!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet

There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course

You come and bloody do it then!

I'd have done it for mates rates if you were closer lol"

I mean it's only about 5 hours drive. Whats 5 hours between friends? Ash will even make you a cuppa and he has hobnobs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ussieChrisMan
over a year ago

Walsall

I like to have someone do it with me...

Oh hang on, we are talking about IKEA flat packs.. Damn it, one track mind..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"You should share the creative process...just don't make me go to IKEA in the first place ...are there man creches there yet

There's a big store near me that has a kind of man creche. A load of seats at the bottom of the stairs where the menfolk congregate while the wimmin go shop.

"
they're all saying. ..make it stop... please... make it stop ....ok ....buy some scented tealights

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get lots of customers getting in touch for me to build for them it’s actually nice and straight forward, IKEA and next are usually excellent, no a fan of Argos though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

x "

I'm still alive Babs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!

And its those rolling eyes that keep getting you into trouble isn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *X2019Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"IKEA stuff is great. Clear instructions and easy to erect.... the furniture that is of course

You come and bloody do it then!

I'd have done it for mates rates if you were closer lol

I mean it's only about 5 hours drive. Whats 5 hours between friends? Ash will even make you a cuppa and he has hobnobs.

As tempting as that is I'll have to pass I'm afaid lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!

And its those rolling eyes that keep getting you into trouble isn't it?

You two are so adorable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!

And its those rolling eyes that keep getting you into trouble isn't it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.

He is wrong. The item collapses.

Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Oh eck no banish them from the room.

So have I and always done it by self but some people just Can't help themselves but try and "help"

I hear you, different meaning to the word help

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm pretty good at flatpack!

Unfortunately my partner always wants to show off his man skills. Usually by getting a drill out even when a drill isn't required

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Ash is still with us isn’t he Lorna?

I'm still alive Babs

For now!!!

And its those rolling eyes that keep getting you into trouble isn't it?

thank goodness Ash, but be careful with the eye rolls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sam puts furniture together whilst cooking a roast and mowing the lawn.

If only women learned such multitasking skills

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyCouple1927Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I (Mr) genuinely don’t mind assembling IKEA furniture, it’s just like a big Lego set. Mrs leaves me to it and I just crack on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Sam puts furniture together whilst cooking a roast and mowing the lawn.

If only women learned such multitasking skills

I tried and ended up mowing a roast while cooking a futon and screwing a chicken

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sam puts furniture together whilst cooking a roast and mowing the lawn.

If only women learned such multitasking skills

I tried and ended up mowing a roast while cooking a futon and screwing a chicken

You really clucked that up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

The CEO of IKEA has been voted the next President of Sweden....

Rumour has it, it is going to be a while for him to get his Cabinet together!!

Boom boom!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Although we didn't buy from IKEA my husband and I had an understanding where furniture assembly was concerned.

I assembled it while he was at work.

I even managed to assemble bunk beds on my own.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

The name IKEA comes from the owners initials and the mansion where he lived.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

The joy of been single

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can confirm we have both survived and our relationship is still (just) intact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol "

I'm guessing you do it alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol

I'm guessing you do it alone.

yeah maybe thats it

i wouldn’t let anyone touch my jigsaws either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"am i a weirdo? i really like building flat pack furniture , its like a big jigsaw or lego lol

I'm guessing you do it alone.

yeah maybe thats it

i wouldn’t let anyone touch my jigsaws either

Thats definitely it and very wise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Usually find Ikea stuff the easier to build to be fair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’ve put up a 5 shelf bookcase and a day bed all by myself this past week. It’s not a two player game #fight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IKEA furniture is a team building exercise. It's that bit that most get wrong, the instructions won't help you on how to problem solve together if you don't work as a team.

The arguments usually start when one person speaks to other like they are thick, or one person snaps at the other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"On a related note, if you want to see couples arguing, B&Q is the place to go

Very true.

The isle with the chains and carabiner clips , we argued about the length and thickness needed to secure her. We settled on 3 meters of 8mm, cut into 4

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elpful and caringMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Oh yes the pissing on fire theory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

"Man innately 'knows' how stuff should be assembled. It's caveman genetics.

He is wrong. The item collapses.

Woman reads the instructions. Assembles item. Eats cake.

Hahaha, spot on! After 15 years husband have finally learned to leave the room and let me do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It Should also come with a warning sticker not to put them up with someone you actually like because that may not last very long!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just leave him to it

No arguments

I just listen to the screams

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve put up a 5 shelf bookcase and a day bed all by myself this past week. It’s not a two player game #fight"

We had 2 triple wardrobes.

Needed 2 of us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yn drwgMan
over a year ago

Camarthen

Not a fan of flat pack furniture but I once met a girlfriend when I offered to assemble some bedroom furniture for her, she teased the fuck out of me by lieing on bed while I struggled with instructions! Had some amazing times after that lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iger1980Man
over a year ago

cambridge

I swear once I got lost in the Coventry IKEA for what honestly felt like 5 hours. Must of seen the bloody candle section six or seven times. Stopped in the canteen for my lunch and dinner. Eventually made it out, it was dark, I realised as I looked down into my plastic bag at a very sad looking bag of Swedish biscuits, several scented candles and an expresso cup, I realised I had wasted an entire day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I swear once I got lost in the Coventry IKEA for what honestly felt like 5 hours. Must of seen the bloody candle section six or seven times. Stopped in the canteen for my lunch and dinner. Eventually made it out, it was dark, I realised as I looked down into my plastic bag at a very sad looking bag of Swedish biscuits, several scented candles and an expresso cup, I realised I had wasted an entire day."

Their meatballs are made from the people that never found their way out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mr KC is something of an expert in constructing IKEA furniture. He likes to be left in peace to do it himself, but he's never not managed to build things. I have contemplated hiring his services out as a flat pack erector

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mr KC is something of an expert in constructing IKEA furniture. He likes to be left in peace to do it himself, but he's never not managed to build things. I have contemplated hiring his services out as a flat pack erector

Hes hired! When he's free?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Let's face it, the only good things in IKEA are the meatballs and the ice creams.

The best place for flat pack furniture is left in its box.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Chunky's furniture assembly service is available.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Hes hired! When he's free?"

I shall check his diary in the morning

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *_elia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Their meatballs are made from the people that never found their way out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet there has been a few . Even more so in the car park . Love watching all the people come out with mounds of stuff as they pull the trolley behind the Fiat 500 they came in . It’s certainly a bloke thing of ‘ it will fit in the car ‘ . Poor wife looks like a random piece of origami.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I bet there has been a few . Even more so in the car park . Love watching all the people come out with mounds of stuff as they pull the trolley behind the Fiat 500 they came in . It’s certainly a bloke thing of ‘ it will fit in the car ‘ . Poor wife looks like a random piece of origami. "

Nope, it's me (Mrs KC) who does the "it'll fit" Jenga-styleeee after. I've got a pic somewhere of Mr KC squished into the passenger seat, our son in the back and everyone is wedged in with boxes and mattresses etc. I'm the driver, as Mr KC has no license

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Oh Lorna

this thread did make me laugh! I’m pleased to hear you’ve both survived though. I bet your showroom on looks amazing

Happy new together home

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh Lorna

this thread did make me laugh! I’m pleased to hear you’ve both survived though. I bet your showroom on looks amazing

Happy new together home

Thank you lovely lady.

We did admit defeat with the TV cabinet.

I still can not figure out how those bloody draws go in even though Ash kept insisting he could do it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread