FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Could you see the signs of a controlling relationship?

Jump to newest
 

By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Could you see the signs? I was watching a program about it and it was interesting, the woman loved her husband, but he wasnt so happy as he started to get jealous as she kept going out with her work colleagues, he then didnt want her to see them anymore but she still wanted to see them. I would agree that these kind of things would be a sign of what more could happen, which it did too, is it a case of love is blind if one still want to be with that person?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not what I regard a controlling relationship Shag, just one where the two people need lessons in communication and compromise

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

I would now but only because I've experienced it and made it through the other side.

Learnt from it and it's now a red flag for me. I wont loose my friends again no matter who or what

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Could you see the signs? I was watching a program about it and it was interesting, the woman loved her husband, but he wasnt so happy as he started to get jealous as she kept going out with her work colleagues, he then didnt want her to see them anymore but she still wanted to see them. I would agree that these kind of things would be a sign of what more could happen, which it did too, is it a case of love is blind if one still want to be with that person?"

I think love can be blind sadly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Only when you are free from it....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have said yes but found myself so deep into one it took huge effort to get out. It can be such an insidious creeping invasion that you don't realise till its too late.... Like the frog/boiling water analogy.

Like the poster above, I'm now very wary.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is most definitely blind to many things, not just control.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have said yes but found myself so deep into one it took huge effort to get out. It can be such an insidious creeping invasion that you don't realise till its too late.... Like the frog/boiling water analogy.

Like the poster above, I'm now very wary. "

I think my friend is in such a relationship but it's very difficult knowing what to do or how to help.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I spent 20 years in a controlling relationship. It took me a few years after it ended to realise just how bad it has been. I am not a stupid person, I could spot in other’s relationships but not my own

J x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having experienced it, yes I could now. The thing with controlling partners is they be everything you want them to be and more at the beginning and then slowly but surely exert their control over you. At first it will something small like getting 'upset' that you didn't invite them to come out with your friends. So for a little while you don't go out without them, then the next time you so they're hurt because you've done it again despite them being 'upset' last time. Or they'll just make jokey comments first and then before you know it they're insulting you at every opportunity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have said yes but found myself so deep into one it took huge effort to get out. It can be such an insidious creeping invasion that you don't realise till its too late.... Like the frog/boiling water analogy.

Like the poster above, I'm now very wary.

I think my friend is in such a relationship but it's very difficult knowing what to do or how to help. "

It can be impossible until they admit they want help

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only when you are free from it.... "

So true

I was in a controlling relationship for 10yrs but didn't see the true extent of it until it was over.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Do you mean when in such a relationship, or looking at one from the outside?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Not atbtge time, as it was "fact" that it was all my fault.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Now I've been In one yes, I did realise at first that I liked him taking control, it was only once I started feeling caged that I realised something needed to change as it had gone too far

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Only when you are free from it....

So true

I was in a controlling relationship for 10yrs but didn't see the true extent of it until it was over.

"

I know where you are coming from.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have said yes but found myself so deep into one it took huge effort to get out. It can be such an insidious creeping invasion that you don't realise till its too late.... Like the frog/boiling water analogy.

Like the poster above, I'm now very wary.

I think my friend is in such a relationship but it's very difficult knowing what to do or how to help.

It can be impossible until they admit they want help

"

Your friend probably doesn't even see it.. its tricky because mentioning it could cause a fall out. Sad but true. As already said its something they have to admit and accept before you can approach the subject.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

My now exhusband was so controlling, I was not aloud to work anywhere that men worked. Incase I had a straying eye. He was the one who had an affair, and left me.

Look at me now (fem).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have said yes but found myself so deep into one it took huge effort to get out. It can be such an insidious creeping invasion that you don't realise till its too late.... Like the frog/boiling water analogy.

Like the poster above, I'm now very wary.

I think my friend is in such a relationship but it's very difficult knowing what to do or how to help.

It can be impossible until they admit they want help

Your friend probably doesn't even see it.. its tricky because mentioning it could cause a fall out. Sad but true. As already said its something they have to admit and accept before you can approach the subject."

Yes this. Was just going to say it's like what you said in your post above. The "don't go out because it makes me sad" stuff. Suddenly being ill on a day that plans were made.

Insidious.

I don't think they realise it's happening yet so can't admit they want help.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"That's not what I regard a controlling relationship Shag, just one where the two people need lessons in communication and compromise"

Still classified as controlling as people have freedom of choice and it continues in a relationship the right to hangout with friends and enjoy without the other half feeling the need to stop this happening it's controlling the moment a person is against early signs of further controlling being clothes moment he or she says they don't like it but it may make you feel comfortable wearing it....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Considering the types of relationships I have involve elements of consensual power exchange, then yes I think I could spot a controlling relationship. Helping them identify and deal with it though is another matter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

In grown-up relationships there is a need for communication and also show some compromise I don't feel it would be right for him to stop her going out to see friends but I can see why jealousy could Creep in if it was often and who she was meeting..

Your not really giving us a big picture to look at object but I would be more concerned if he was controlling her money or if she was controlling his routines.

As if you was really looking to control somebody withholding money would stop them from seeing people and in prisoner in the house also could cutting off escape routes.

Sometimes a little jealousy is justified.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/reviews/i-am-nicola-channel-4-vicky-mcclure-coercive-control-domestic-abuse-drama-a9017651.html

On Channel 4 a couple of years ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes this. Was just going to say it's like what you said in your post above. The "don't go out because it makes me sad" stuff. Suddenly being ill on a day that plans were made.

Insidious.

I don't think they realise it's happening yet so can't admit they want help. "

Definitely agree about the sudden illness on a day that plans have been made. They are controlling every aspect of your life without you realising it. Money, social life, family, friends, work life. And you genuinely don't see it coming x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually many people don't see it until they are so entangled in the yarn of coercive words.. that when they they stand up and try to leave, they just trip. Or are told they won't manage without their perpetrator. Drip drip the message.. control their mind until they are so lost and confused they can't find the way out of the maze.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One word for you- gaslightning. Its so tricky to spot at times. Hungry heart eat lies easily and start relying on that one person for validation and life wisdom. Then it's probably just the fear or acceptance. And yes I can spot it but if these are subtle things, pattern of them over time, others around may not notice. Especially if you don't share your doubts or troubles with anyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Yes and have challenged a friend about it but they wouldn't listen. Little things like never letting her go put with friends in her own. They always had to come, even in girls nights out.if they did go out alone they would come home to them packing their bags and threatening to leave because they thoughtpre of their friends than him.

Buting clothes as presents that were too small to try and shame them in to losing weight. Buying clothes that were just not her style because that's what he liked.

Sadly you can challenge and point these things out all you want but if they don't want to see it they won't. All you can do is be there for them when they finally realise what has been going on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

And are those who don't realise that they are controlling because they think what they are doing is what he or she may want unless it's an aggressive behaviour relationship just because it's not what they want you to do it turns into a argument each time still controlling and might be the person doesn't realize what he or she is doing and how it's effects the other

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One word for you- gaslightning. Its so tricky to spot at times. Hungry heart eat lies easily and start relying on that one person for validation and life wisdom. Then it's probably just the fear or acceptance. And yes I can spot it but if these are subtle things, pattern of them over time, others around may not notice. Especially if you don't share your doubts or troubles with anyone. "

There's often no one left to tell because you're not allowed your own friends and have lost touch with family.

I have been there.

It was very subtle - almost brilliant the way he manipulated me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Its gradual. I always said I'd be off like a shot if a guy got controlling.

But it was slow to start with, and at the same time he chipped away at my self esteem. By the time I got out, it had escalated to physical I came away with broken wrist and teeth.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One word for you- gaslightning. Its so tricky to spot at times. Hungry heart eat lies easily and start relying on that one person for validation and life wisdom. Then it's probably just the fear or acceptance. And yes I can spot it but if these are subtle things, pattern of them over time, others around may not notice. Especially if you don't share your doubts or troubles with anyone.

There's often no one left to tell because you're not allowed your own friends and have lost touch with family.

I have been there.

It was very subtle - almost brilliant the way he manipulated me.

"

I always think to myself, if it wasn't so fuckinh twisted.. you could say the way they do it is no less than genius x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And are those who don't realise that they are controlling because they think what they are doing is what he or she may want unless it's an aggressive behaviour relationship just because it's not what they want you to do it turns into a argument each time still controlling and might be the person doesn't realize what he or she is doing and how it's effects the other"

Yeah this is where I'm stuck. I'm not sure if the controlling is intentional or coming from a place of wanting to help.

Or just being so incredibly selfish and insecure, it's the way they are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think most people can see the signs in the beginning. The problem at the start isn't the person doing the controlling it's the person not putting a stop to it from the first instance

R

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

There were plenty of tell tales but in isolation,they appear silly, circumstantial, justified even. It's difficult to see when you're in the eye of the storm, it's only when you step out, you see the devastation and destruction for what it is.

C

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Not wanting to dumb down anyone’s bad experience being bullied etc but do you think there are just bad matches rather than bad people?

A friend of mine used to be very controlling over her husband, she would also call him weak and pathetic and despised him although her was a lovely guy , gave her anything and a great father. She left him for a real nasty bastard that used to beat her when high on c*ke and not let her go out. Finally she found a guy who is really nice but strong willed , and no pushover and they seem absolutely perfect for each other

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not wanting to dumb down anyone’s bad experience being bullied etc but do you think there are just bad matches rather than bad people?

A friend of mine used to be very controlling over her husband, she would also call him weak and pathetic and despised him although her was a lovely guy , gave her anything and a great father. She left him for a real nasty bastard that used to beat her when high on c*ke and not let her go out. Finally she found a guy who is really nice but strong willed , and no pushover and they seem absolutely perfect for each other "

I think there are bad behaviours, not bad people. Not everyone is willing to admit they have anger problem for example and need help channeling their feelings in a more civil non oppressive way. It's interesting how she switched the roles in different relationships. But it's doesn't mean still that it's a bad match. In fact I have met women justifying that behaviour at all the times. "But s/he just wants me to get better!". No .. you don't have to get better. They do. They will never stop seeing flaws in you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Could you see the signs? I was watching a program about it and it was interesting, the woman loved her husband, but he wasnt so happy as he started to get jealous as she kept going out with her work colleagues, he then didnt want her to see them anymore but she still wanted to see them. I would agree that these kind of things would be a sign of what more could happen, which it did too, is it a case of love is blind if one still want to be with that person?

I think love can be blind sadly

"
Yes. I think so too, it can be that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Love is most definitely blind to many things, not just control. "
Yes, it goes to many things too, not just that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not wanting to dumb down anyone’s bad experience being bullied etc but do you think there are just bad matches rather than bad people?

A friend of mine used to be very controlling over her husband, she would also call him weak and pathetic and despised him although her was a lovely guy , gave her anything and a great father. She left him for a real nasty bastard that used to beat her when high on c*ke and not let her go out. Finally she found a guy who is really nice but strong willed , and no pushover and they seem absolutely perfect for each other

I think there are bad behaviours, not bad people. Not everyone is willing to admit they have anger problem for example and need help channeling their feelings in a more civil non oppressive way. It's interesting how she switched the roles in different relationships. But it's doesn't mean still that it's a bad match. In fact I have met women justifying that behaviour at all the times. "But s/he just wants me to get better!". No .. you don't have to get better. They do. They will never stop seeing flaws in you. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

This is a complex subject; the really successful controller, that I personally experienced, can be so good at it, that it is only when the so-called relationship ends, that you realise how coercive their behaviour really was.

I would describe myself as being in a process of recovery from a controlling coercive relationships.

You begin to realise the utterly bizarre nonsence that you were obliged to tolerate for fear of provoking the wrath of the narcissistic abuser; life can truly begin, eventually!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After being in a controlling and abusive relationship for over 22 years, yes I would now. I definitely didn’t see it when I was in that place. It just invades your life so slowly and as he’s doing everything for you to show his love you let things carry on. The gradual erosion of your self esteem, the freedom to go out and meet friends, taking care of how you look, so many small things that mount up to him having total control.

It’s easy for people to say leave, but it’s not so easy when they have you believing that you wouldn’t survive without them. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I would see more of the signs now because I've been there. I couldn't see it when I was in the middle of it though until it was pointed out to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not wanting to dumb down anyone’s bad experience being bullied etc but do you think there are just bad matches rather than bad people?

A friend of mine used to be very controlling over her husband, she would also call him weak and pathetic and despised him although her was a lovely guy , gave her anything and a great father. She left him for a real nasty bastard that used to beat her when high on c*ke and not let her go out. Finally she found a guy who is really nice but strong willed , and no pushover and they seem absolutely perfect for each other

I think there are bad behaviours, not bad people. Not everyone is willing to admit they have anger problem for example and need help channeling their feelings in a more civil non oppressive way. It's interesting how she switched the roles in different relationships. But it's doesn't mean still that it's a bad match. In fact I have met women justifying that behaviour at all the times. "But s/he just wants me to get better!". No .. you don't have to get better. They do. They will never stop seeing flaws in you.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Frankly, it was only after watching the many videos, available online, that I understood coercive control.

The key is to get out safely, if currently immersed, but also to have the self-confidence and personal skills to call a halt at the first red flags in a new relationship.

Coercive controllers are often profoundly insecure damaged people, who are the product of dysfunctional family cultures, that may be intergenerational in origin.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, when someone is constantly looking to see what 'their possession' is looking at.

Or when 'their possession' is talking to a member of the opposite sex (in their company) and they are looking at 'their possesion' just a bit too much....not really engaging with that other person.

When they display acts of attachment i.e kissing, touching regularly at inappropriate times or too much.

Like adhesive glue!

All these are things I have seen others do or suffer.

Although some must like to be on the receiving end of all that.

I myself prefer earned trust.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I didnt until recently.

Finally managed to end things with my husband

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think we all like to think we would and I thought I would but I didn't until I had a sudden unsettling realisation about 3 months after we split. Its something that happens so gradually and with so much manipulation that you can't always see it when you're in the midst of it. It's kind of scary really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 03/05/21 14:03:55]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a case of love being blind it's about very spacific techniques being used to manipulate a person ans stop them trusting there own judgment like love bombing, gaslighting etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we all like to think we would and I thought I would but I didn't until I had a sudden unsettling realisation about 3 months after we split. Its something that happens so gradually and with so much manipulation that you can't always see it when you're in the midst of it. It's kind of scary really. "

If anyone is not aware of existence of power cycle and domestic abuse cycle they would find it hard to understand..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I think we all like to think we would and I thought I would but I didn't until I had a sudden unsettling realisation about 3 months after we split. Its something that happens so gradually and with so much manipulation that you can't always see it when you're in the midst of it. It's kind of scary really.

If anyone is not aware of existence of power cycle and domestic abuse cycle they would find it hard to understand.. "

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me part of the problem is that as a young adult I thought of domestic abuse as the man hitting the woman, and it all seemed very clear-cut and black-and-white. I was all full of “if any man ever hits me I’ll be gone straight away” (though in practice I failed on that one as well). But I didn’t know anything about coercive control, and by the time I learned what it looked like it was too late.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I think we all like to think we would and I thought I would but I didn't until I had a sudden unsettling realisation about 3 months after we split. Its something that happens so gradually and with so much manipulation that you can't always see it when you're in the midst of it. It's kind of scary really.

If anyone is not aware of existence of power cycle and domestic abuse cycle they would find it hard to understand..

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me part of the problem is that as a young adult I thought of domestic abuse as the man hitting the woman, and it all seemed very clear-cut and black-and-white. I was all full of “if any man ever hits me I’ll be gone straight away” (though in practice I failed on that one as well). But I didn’t know anything about coercive control, and by the time I learned what it looked like it was too late."

I think this is also very common. Teenagers certainly don't get taught enough about this stuff and there's an increase in issues of abuse between teenagers. So many don't realise it isn't normal to not be allowed opposite sex friends or for your partner to demand complete access to your phone for example. Also often jealousy and possessiveness can be romanticised as a sign someone really loves you which isn't helpful. You see things online and in magazines where people are asking how to make their partner jealous. Why would you want to?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I think we all like to think we would and I thought I would but I didn't until I had a sudden unsettling realisation about 3 months after we split. Its something that happens so gradually and with so much manipulation that you can't always see it when you're in the midst of it. It's kind of scary really.

If anyone is not aware of existence of power cycle and domestic abuse cycle they would find it hard to understand..

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me part of the problem is that as a young adult I thought of domestic abuse as the man hitting the woman, and it all seemed very clear-cut and black-and-white. I was all full of “if any man ever hits me I’ll be gone straight away” (though in practice I failed on that one as well). But I didn’t know anything about coercive control, and by the time I learned what it looked like it was too late.

I think this is also very common. Teenagers certainly don't get taught enough about this stuff and there's an increase in issues of abuse between teenagers. So many don't realise it isn't normal to not be allowed opposite sex friends or for your partner to demand complete access to your phone for example. Also often jealousy and possessiveness can be romanticised as a sign someone really loves you which isn't helpful. You see things online and in magazines where people are asking how to make their partner jealous. Why would you want to? "

There’s also a massive double-standard where it seems very normalised for men to not be allowed to be friends with women because their wives don’t like it, when really I see that as the thin end of the wedge.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

I think it's important to be mindful of eachothers space when emotions develop into love. This is where things can get squiffy and negative emotions can develop.

Besides which, I think loving someone is where you don't feel you 'need' that person (other than life challenges ofc ) , you compliment eachother.

Being happy in yourself comes first before relations methinks..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

My daughter (15) has ended her almost 7 month relationship with a lad in the year above recently. I believe he had it in him to use emotional bl**kmail and control over her, there were a few red flags for me. She's upset but knows she's done the right thing.

Example: You can't end our relationship, it's our 7 month anniversary soon.

Example: Let me know what I can do to make me better.

Example: Putting things in their private story on snap that infer that her friends are all going out together but she's going to see him because they love each other....

At 15!@!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think you particulary see the signs from the inside, you just know that something doesnt feel right but get convinced otherwise. I can see signs in others a mile away funnily enough or can raise an eyebrow at things said that don't sound right. So, I could help others but not myself!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I dont think you particulary see the signs from the inside, you just know that something doesnt feel right but get convinced otherwise. I can see signs in others a mile away funnily enough or can raise an eyebrow at things said that don't sound right. So, I could help others but not myself! "
You are right there. I think it is also easier to see the signs in others rather than you see them happening to yourself as clearly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Now I'm free yes, 10 years of my life being slowly controlled to the point where I couldn't leave the house to see a friend or have a day off work without having to tell when,where,who with and photo proof

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

Doesn't this all boil down to trust or lack of?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"Doesn't this all boil down to trust or lack of?"

No. Controlling or coercive behaviour has little to do with a lack of trust between one partner and the other, as even with a lack of trust you can still treat people in a decent way.

The following is from the cps website:

Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim

Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top