FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite Python quotes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just got reminded on another post of a well known Life of Brian phrase "The people's popular front of Judea"

Which ones are your favourites from any of the Monty Python films or tv shows?

My personal favourite (because I'm a language nerd!) is :

Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?

Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "

Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the Latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !

Brian: Er, "Romanus" !

Centurion: Goes like?

Brian: "..annus"?

Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?

Brian: Er, er, "..anni" ?

Centurion: "Romani"[Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?

Brian: Er, "Go"

Centurion: Conjugate the verb, "to go" !

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Got any pictures???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Got any pictures???

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

"Wise men !! Doesn't seem very wise to me to be creeping around a cow shed at 2 o'clock in the morning" Brilliant !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Wise men !! Doesn't seem very wise to me to be creeping around a cow shed at 2 o'clock in the morning" Brilliant !!"

Love it

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By *agertha73Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Incontentia buttocks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody expects ... the Spanish Inquisition!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One day son this will be all yours"

"What the curtains"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberies, no go away before I taunt you a second time

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By *agertha73Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Why do they titter so?

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By *heMightySpud69Man
over a year ago

Milton keynes

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.” – Knights of Camelot

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

"It’s just a flesh wound.....” –

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

Stwike him centurion vewy hard. And throw him to the ground sir? Oh yes thwow him to the gwound

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wolfs nipple chips, otters noses.. get em whilst they're hot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

You call me big nose one more time and I'll take you to the fucking cleaners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘I haven’t got any choc ices, just this bloody albatross’

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Nnnnnnni!!"

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle even if they do so jehovah

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle even if they do so jehovah"

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Kettering

""Nnnnnnni!!""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Venezuelan beaver cheese?"

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Mmmmbiggus... Dickusss!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait till Bigus Dickus hear's of this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll have 2 sharp ones,2 flat ones,and a packet of gravel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle even if they do so jehovah"

This is my favourite too...

Are there any women here?!

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"I don't care how fucking runny it is, hand it over with all speed!"

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

You manky Scotch git, I've soiled my armour now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Tis but a scratch.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

It is but dead, it is sleeping.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

You lucky, Lucky barrrstard.

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By *rinity666Man
over a year ago

Away for work abroad long term,

A TIGER? IN AFRICA????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll bite your legs

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By *immydonnyMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy lol

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

Is this Lake Pahoe?

There's a Mr Padgett!

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By *rinity666Man
over a year ago

Away for work abroad long term,

What are they in it for? these old hoodlums!,these layabouts in lace!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's lumps of it round the back"

"No he hasn't he's over there "

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone Area.

From now on I want to be called loretta.

Where’s the foetus going to gestate? Going to keep it in a box?

It’s symbolic of our struggle against the Romans. No it’s symbolic of his struggle against reality!

That whole scene ...... makes me hurt laughing every time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we wan't you to bring us...A Shrubbery"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/04/21 18:24:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we wan't you to bring us...A Shrubbery""

"Run Awaaay"

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Might as well do...

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse

When you're chewing on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best

Aaaaaand

Always look on the bright side of life

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone Area.

Welease woderwick.

Ah there are so many.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Blessed are the cheesemakers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bring me a shrubbery, one that looks nice and not too expensive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Btw Life of Brian is on Netflix right now

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By *heltenhamBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED"

My fav scene in that film!

"Just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at you..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just

because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

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By *arah_TGTV/TS
over a year ago

amesbury

Dead Parrot Sketch

It’s not pining, It’s passed on!

This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker!

It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

It’s metabolic processes are now history!

It has kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

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By *eedshandymanMan
over a year ago

leeds

Who threw that stone

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By *eavertrackerMan
over a year ago

bridgwater

She turned me into a newt,......I got better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bring those the holy hand grenade

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Dead Parrot Sketch

It’s not pining, It’s passed on!

This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker!

It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

It’s metabolic processes are now history!

It has kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"

Awwww you got there before me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As you're a language nerd OP, this one, from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, is one of my favourites:

Maitre D': Ah, good afternoon, sir! And how are we today?

MR. CREOSOTE: Better.

Maitre D': Better?

MR. CREOSOTE: Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.

Now for the language nerd bit ... this translates perfectly into French including the play on words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And now for something completely different,a man with three buttocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s just gone 8 o clock and it’s time for the penguin on top of your television to explode

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m an ex leper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/04/21 20:35:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now write it out a hundred times or I'll cut your balls off!

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By *iggy5Man
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

"Splunge!"

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By *heltenhamBiGuyMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Are you the Judean Peoples Front?...

Nah, fuck off....we're the Peoples Front of Judea!! ....Judeans Peoples Front, wankers!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you the Judean Peoples Front?...

Nah, fuck off....we're the Peoples Front of Judea!! ....Judeans Peoples Front, wankers!"

Where's the popular front?

He's over there

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By *rooperRedMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

I don't eat bloody squirrels, do I?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I found this spoon, sir!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found this spoon, sir! "

Well done sergeant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberies, no go away before I taunt you a second time"

yes! also ...

tis but a scratch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blessed are the cheesemakers

oh its the meek, oh thats nice they do have a hell of a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anybody got anything better to do than march up and down the square !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Btw Life of Brian is on Netflix right now

i watched it last week - just discovered holy grail is too so thats tonights viewing now

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By *luttTV/TS
over a year ago

Duns

My hovercraft is full of eels.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

“But I’m not dead yet...”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every sperm is sacred

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

brave sir robin ran away, he ran he ran away

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By *hedireCouple
over a year ago

wigan

My hovercraft is full of eels.

That one has made it's way into the error messages library of the computer operating system i specialise in. The rest of the sketch is also very good. Would you like to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

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By *entleman of GirthMan
over a year ago

Forest Row

You have won tonight’s star prize. You can have a blow on the head or a dagger up the clitoris’

‘Ooh I’ve never had one up there before’.

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

Be quiet! Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous, and none of you have got any balls.

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By *cotty89Man
over a year ago

prestatyn

He's not the messiah he's a very naughty boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!"

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

It's not my cross

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I can't believe nobody mentioned Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken; To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away; And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

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By *iger-NWMan
over a year ago

Preston

Q: How do you know he's the king?

A: He's not covered in shit.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

“Bally Jerry, pranged his kite, right in the how’s yer fathers. Hairy blighter, dickie birdied, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy....and flipped over on his Betty Harper’s”

Cue much confusion from his fellow WW1 pilots, who don’t get his banter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Hi, I came here for an argument...’

‘No you didn’t’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘Hi, I came here for an argument...’

‘No you didn’t’"

Yes I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walease Woderwick, Set free Secil. As all the crowd laughing.

Would you like a mint sir. No fuck off I’m full. It’s only waifer thin sir.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The salmon mousse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Now I'm going to have to watch LoB!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"you try telling the yung people of today that and they won't believe ya"

"Eye,reet they won't"

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Alright, we'll call it a draw - Dave's favourite quote for after he's been beaten to the ground and severely kicked (as part of a show)

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

[Removed by poster at 01/05/21 10:43:51]

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"I wish I was a girlie just like my dear Papa"

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Look out LAMA'S!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Albatross for fuck sake!

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By *lenn FairlightMan
over a year ago

East Kent

Life of Brian is a complete work of genius, can watch it endlessly. Not a quote, but I love the Spike Milligan cameo. Sketch-wise, the Piranha Brothers one based on the Kray twins.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Tungsten carbide drills?!!

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

It’s but a mere scratch. Come back and fight and I’ll bite your toes off.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"Tungsten carbide drills?!!"

TUNG-STEN CARBIDE DRILLS?

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