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double entendres

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Remember a female news reader who the day after it was supposed to have

snowed and hadn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"

mrs slocombes pussy was another, have you got any, guessing the carry on films had the most ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frankie Howard was class at them

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Frankie Howard was class at them "
can you quote any

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I always remember Bet Lynch in Corrie saying to Jack as she handed him a pint.... "get your lips 'round that cock"

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I always remember Bet Lynch in Corrie saying to Jack as she handed him a pint.... "get your lips 'round that cock""
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This week on five live Colin Murray delivered a hot dog to the female presenter. He said I'm off now, she replied I'm going commentate with a sausage in my mouth. After 5 mins of all laughing she finally got it together again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My username is a good example.

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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Pearl has to go now to meet her Russian Gentleman friend for drinks and nibbles at his penthouse.

She tells me that he's offered to ply her with canapes and liquor out on the balcony...

Thanks to Chairman Humph...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I was working at a large head office type building. The meeting rooms were on the ground floor and the restaurant was on the 3rd floor.

One of the ladies in the group turned to two guys who were visiting the building and said "It's roast day today if you two guys want to come upstairs with me"

I nearly snotted my drink through my nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was working at a large head office type building. The meeting rooms were on the ground floor and the restaurant was on the 3rd floor.

One of the ladies in the group turned to two guys who were visiting the building and said "It's roast day today if you two guys want to come upstairs with me"

I nearly snotted my drink through my nose."

.

You have a filthy mind, that's all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate is a bugger with innuendo and double entendre. A night out with him is like being on the set of a Carry On film !

He did the door on a gig the other week and the guy rang him afterwards and said 'the girl on the bar loved you and all your double entendres'

The reply was 'I don't know what she's talking about, I mean I know I might 'SLIP ONE IN every now and then but ....'

See what I have to put up with !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rich Hall tells of the sign on a bar in the midwest which reads...

Liquor in the front

Poker in the rear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lovely lady asked me for a double entendre only last week...

So I gave her one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rich Hall tells of the sign on a bar in the midwest which reads...

Liquor in the front

Poker in the rear."

He also told another of his Nan being struck by lightning on the golf course.

She was struck between the first and second holes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reminds me of a joke I first heard at school when I was about 14, which took me years before the penny dropped...

Two nuns sitting in a bath. One says to the other..

"Where's the soap?"

The other nun replied...

"Yes it does rather, doesn't it"

And another...... somewhat old but a good history lesson..

Two debutantes comparing note on boyfriends.

Deb 1:"I hear your new boyfriend Giles is in the Army"

Deb 2:"Why yes! East African Rifles actually darling."

Deb 1:"Really? I thought they were all black...??"

Deb 2:"Only the Privates"

Deb 1:"..... how bohemian....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

julian clarey is my favourite for double entendres

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Carenza Lewis, said about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live, "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I was in nando's with callum and his then girlfriend, stood up get the drinks and asked them if they wanted normal cock or diet. Imy son just looked at me and his girlfriend was tittering away to hersellf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson

lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

"Some weeks Nick likes to use

Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:

"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters:

"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World

Superbike racing:

"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he

wished he had a hard on now."

(All courtesy of google!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cricket commentator

The batsman Holding the bowlers Willie It was a real match.

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Carry on Girls, Sidney Fiddler (Sid James) chirped in while talking about the amount of rain fall, If you think nine inches is average You have been spoilt! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cricket commentator

The batsman Holding the bowlers Willie It was a real match."

This is untrue - Michael Holding was the bowler and Peter Willey the batsman. Get your facts right lol!!

This reminded me of Pedants Corner in Viz, which also featured the King of this genre. Finbarr Saunders and his Doulbe Entendres. Fnarr, Fnarr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cricket commentator

The batsman Holding the bowlers Willie It was a real match.

This is untrue - Michael Holding was the bowler and Peter Willey the batsman. Get your facts right lol!!

This reminded me of Pedants Corner in Viz, which also featured the King of this genre. Finbarr Saunders and his Doulbe Entendres. Fnarr, Fnarr."
Ill have to check that out?lol

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Horse Racing Commentator 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

New Zealand Rugby Commentator 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They seem to be more and more a thing of the past. humour has gone down political directions for many so double entendres seem to be far less common than 40 years ago.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

i think its simply because as a nation we openly use swear words and are crude so no need for double entendres

where as 40 years ago it was seen as risque like the seaside postcards, mind you i love those

i still use them now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i think its simply because as a nation we openly use swear words and are crude so no need for double entendres

where as 40 years ago it was seen as risque like the seaside postcards, mind you i love those

i still use them now "

I tend to prefer comedy of the 60's and 70's as it was more honest in its delivery, there were no pc issues and clever use of words were common place. The intelligence in humour is lacking these days in the main.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

remember going to see chubby brown years ago and if you took the swearing out it just wasnt that funny

like the old comedy films, norman wisdom cracks me up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... and the joke that got Max Miller banned from the BBC...

" Ere lady! I went on holiday. I went on holiday to Switzerland. And I was going round one of the them narrow mountain paths, when this rather nice lady came down the path towards me. So I looks to my right and all I see was mountain. I looks to me left and all I see is a 1000 foot drop..

So what do I do? Block her passage or toss meself off?

Now there's a funny thing....."

and Max never appeared on the BBC again......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a double entendre but ... loved seeing Morecome and Wise in bed together... so innocent yet so funny. couldnt do that now i guess.

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