FabSwingers.com forum: I am not a robot.

By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I may be a hairy arsed builder who works in a male dominated environment rife with toxic masculinity.

But men in this workplace also suffer from mental health and anxiety issues.

Just because we are rough around the edges, I think lots of issues are hidden by bravado.

Many times when I have spoken out regards my feelings and anxiety it's been followed by " ya fuckin puff" and comments of this kind.

I have been suffering from depression from an early age and every day is a fight.

But remember guy's it's ok not to be okay.

It doesn't mean weakness it's just being human and the only way we can change things is by being open and discussing stuff and not belittling anyone else who might need help.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Do you find in that situation that a lot of the men who target others are actually trying to hide their own feelings of anxiety etc

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Toxic masculinity includes hiding these problems.

You're human. You have emotions. You're susceptible to mental ill health.

You fight. Come stand with me. I fight too.

Be well, and be open if you want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked in the building industry for 24 years and I never felt like I could openly talk about mental health, it’s tough as fuck. Even when you’ve worked with the same blokes for years, having said that there’s a bond on building sites that I’ve not had in any other place I’ve worked. But it can be brutal keeping up appearances.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Well said.

I lost a friend because he didn't speak up about his problems.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Facing depression (or any demon) on a daily basis, signals an enormous struggle people face every day.

That is not weakness... that is strength in the face of adversity.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"I worked in the building industry for 24 years and I never felt like I could openly talk about mental health, it’s tough as fuck. Even when you’ve worked with the same blokes for years, having said that there’s a bond on building sites that I’ve not had in any other place I’ve worked. But it can be brutal keeping up appearances. "

Definitely.

I talk about football even though I hate it.

If you ever hear a group of guys talking the conversation usually revolves around 3 things.

Football.

Shagging.

Drinking.

Most men don't like opening up.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

“Man up”

What a shithouse saying.

Kudos OP for being so Frank about it. Men need to talk and importantly listen more.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have worked in healthcare for many years and although I smile many mornings I have come in from a nightshift and sobbed. I am not a robot. I have feelings too. My job is tough and every last breath you see taken takes its toll.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have male friends who cry on my shoulder. It breaks my heart when they tell me they couldn't do it in front of their mates without being ridiculed x

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"“Man up”

What a shithouse saying.

Kudos OP for being so Frank about it. Men need to talk and importantly listen more. "

It’s not a shithouse saying. Some people need to be told to man up. Others need an arm round them or a shoulder to cry on.

One size does not fit all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health should be an everyone conversation, not something only some people can talk about. I have a little hope that the world is changing. I see my younger brother and his friends talking about these things which also gives me hope for the world I'm raising my son in.

We are human, it affects or can affect everyone

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

A lot of the time I find men just don't talk openly to men enough. I was very aware of this in my old career and the need for men to be able get stuff off their chest with others who are/have been in the same boat. I've always found it helps others to open up if your open yourself and confident to express your feelings. Men need to talk more.

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Thanks for all your replies and support.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Hugs xxx

OP xx

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

I had terrible depression aged ten, 12 then from aged 19. I can only say for me that good sleep and lots of outdoor activity cured me eventually. Plus meeting charismatic and good people.

Negative and nasty people are legion and it’s hell going to work knowing you face a day of insensitive crap. Sensitivity is a strength though I know it doesn’t seem it in a macho environment. Sensitivity gives great perspective and wisdom. Build on that and look for diversity in the mind. Not being a macho drone is probably a better option.

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By *il FiskMan
over a year ago

sefton

I've been in the building industry since I left school and although everything said above is true, some companies and individuals do exist.

I'm a mental health first aider and I'm busier in that roll than on The tools.

I like to think I'm making a small difference in a toxic environment..

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By *ools and the brain OP Couple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"I've been in the building industry since I left school and although everything said above is true, some companies and individuals do exist.

I'm a mental health first aider and I'm busier in that roll than on The tools.

I like to think I'm making a small difference in a toxic environment.. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health isn't about your sex or any other aspect in life, it can effect anyone at anytime. The stigma behind it is still there and to make real change people should be encouraged to talk about it.

Having the courage to open up about it shows more strength than people realise, not the weakness others see it as. Unless you have been there yourself, its hard to understand but everyone should at least try to.

Hope your okay OP and well done for starting the conversation

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Unable to talk about things is the biggest demon never let it stop you because this actually helps to recover or make things not as huge as they are or were.

Good luck op hope you have a speedy recovery

and anyone else

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Try turning something negative into positive, some people don't realise that they are suffering from depression as well, I've had plenty of experience as a ex sufferer/suffer

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By *iltopbearMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Sadly I think it will take a couple more generations before its acceptable for men to openly talk about their feelings.

Toxic masculinity is dying out, but is too deeply ingrained into the older generations.

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