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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year?" Surely by definition sexless would mean that there is no sex? | |||
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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year? Surely by definition sexless would mean that there is no sex?" This. Anything else is just irregular sex isn’t it? | |||
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"It is at the point that you have tried literally everything & anything to get the intimate side of your Marriage to improve, & still your partner doesn't want to have sex with you for whatever reason. Only then, at that point when you realise that if you stay in that relationship you will never have sex again can you call it a sexless marriage! I have heard guys bat the term around that they are in a sexless marriage and they admit they still have sex with their Wife, just not as regularly as they would like. That is not a sexless marriage. That is a different sex drive!" Well said. Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. If anyone wants to cheat then do it, just don't try to pass the blame on to unsuspecting partners. | |||
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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year? Surely by definition sexless would mean that there is no sex?" I don't think "sexless" needs to be taken that literally. In my marriage it was more than a year between sex session, and those were about 15 minutes each. 15 minutes of sex per year is sufficiently near to no sex as to warrant calling it sexless in my opinion. The paucity of sex was a big problem. Quibbling over it not being absolutely zero seems pedantic even to me, and I am a proper pedant. | |||
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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year? Surely by definition sexless would mean that there is no sex? I don't think "sexless" needs to be taken that literally. In my marriage it was more than a year between sex session, and those were about 15 minutes each. 15 minutes of sex per year is sufficiently near to no sex as to warrant calling it sexless in my opinion. The paucity of sex was a big problem. Quibbling over it not being absolutely zero seems pedantic even to me, and I am a proper pedant. " Of course we all have our different opinions on what words mean, and we are fully entitled to it. | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" Great response. Spot on! | |||
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"There is always a reason why someone goes if sex ..depression, menopause, depression after childbirth witch goes undiagnosed for ages ,illness ,medication diabetes..." Self doubt and guilt to name a few more, if I made a mistake in the past like burning dinner or something, I thought the only reason the person wanted sex was to try to make me feel better, not because they wanted to have sex. I've always had relationships where "love" comes at a price and it's something that gets withdrawn when mistakes are made, so someone wanting to have sex with me or make love to me when I'd fucked up seemed wrong, like a pity shag or an attempt at control that can be used against me at a later time. | |||
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"For me it’s after having had the heart to heart conversations and your partner has explicated told you that they no longer want a physical relationship with you. If you’ve not communicated with each about it how do you know it can’t get better with a little understanding from both sides ? " Interesting comments. Just how many married people on here alone have actually had that heart to heart with their partners. Not many I bet! | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" I think this too ^^^ loveless has to be the worst | |||
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"I'm in a sexless marriage,I've tried everything I can to make things work sexually but she doesn't want any of it,we haven't had sex for quite a few years and I'm so frustrated I wank about 4times a day HELP!" Well, if you've had honest and Frank discussion between yourself, possibly I'd recommend couples counseling? | |||
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"Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. " For some, I’m sure it is a convenient cover story, or ‘excuse’. For others it is the primary reason they are on here. | |||
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"Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. For some, I’m sure it is a convenient cover story, or ‘excuse’. For others it is the primary reason they are on here." We hope that all those who are here, whether it is an excuse or genuine reason, have shown the respect to their partners of at least telling them that they are on here. | |||
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He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
"Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse. You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing. Honesty is key | |||
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"Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. For some, I’m sure it is a convenient cover story, or ‘excuse’. For others it is the primary reason they are on here. We hope that all those who are here, whether it is an excuse or genuine reason, have shown the respect to their partners of at least telling them that they are on here." I wouldn’t be so quick to judge a couple’s relationship - just because it is sexless doesn’t mean it is loveless and the person on here may not want to hurt their partner, or make them feel obliged to do something they don’t want to do any more. So they come here, discreetly and no one gets hurt. I think it is more important that we are honest with each other in here. Personally, I don’t care if a partner is married or not, or what her reason is for being on here. But I would be upset if she told me she wasn’t married and then I subsequently found out she was. Similarly I wouldn’t lie about my status with a prospective partner. I don’t like lies. | |||
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"Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. For some, I’m sure it is a convenient cover story, or ‘excuse’. For others it is the primary reason they are on here. We hope that all those who are here, whether it is an excuse or genuine reason, have shown the respect to their partners of at least telling them that they are on here. I wouldn’t be so quick to judge a couple’s relationship - just because it is sexless doesn’t mean it is loveless and the person on here may not want to hurt their partner, or make them feel obliged to do something they don’t want to do any more. So they come here, discreetly and no one gets hurt. I think it is more important that we are honest with each other in here. Personally, I don’t care if a partner is married or not, or what her reason is for being on here. But I would be upset if she told me she wasn’t married and then I subsequently found out she was. Similarly I wouldn’t lie about my status with a prospective partner. I don’t like lies." We have spoken about this on other threads as well. Saying that someone should be honest doesn't mean that we are making judgements. Surely loving a person means that you are honest with them? If you are scared to tell them in case they leave you, then that is being selfish. We fully understand that there are some exceptions, however in the most times, the only person people are protecting by not telling there partner is themselves. | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
"Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty. He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to. I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs   | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty.
He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to.
I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs "An honest question. Would you have mined if he was cheating without telling you? | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty.
He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to.
I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs
An honest question. Would you have mined if he was cheating without telling you?"Yes of course I would have. But if I had found out he was cheating I would understand the reason why instead of turning it all in on myself. Oh well - I got out. Many people don't | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty.
He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to.
I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs
An honest question. Would you have mined if he was cheating without telling you?
Yes of course I would have.
But if I had found out he was cheating I would understand the reason why instead of turning it all in on myself.
Oh well - I got out.
Many people don't "Would you agree that everyone deserves to know. or not? We are honestly wanting your thought on this. | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty.
He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to.
I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs
An honest question. Would you have mined if he was cheating without telling you?
Yes of course I would have.
But if I had found out he was cheating I would understand the reason why instead of turning it all in on myself.
Oh well - I got out.
Many people don't
Would you agree that everyone deserves to know. or not?
We are honestly wanting your thought on this.
"No one deserves to live with a liar. | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
Agree totally. that it is another form of abuse.
You did the best thing. You were honest with yourself and did the right thing.
Honesty is key
Yes it is - and I think so many relationships don't have honesty.
He is married now with a child - so it does hurt to know that it was me he wasn't attracted to.
I think I would have preferred it if he was secretly on here having gay gangbangs
An honest question. Would you have mined if he was cheating without telling you?
Yes of course I would have.
But if I had found out he was cheating I would understand the reason why instead of turning it all in on myself.
Oh well - I got out.
Many people don't
Would you agree that everyone deserves to know. or not?
We are honestly wanting your thought on this.
No one deserves to live with a liar."Thank you for your honesty. We agree with you totally. We hope you enjoy your journey! | |||
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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year?" Mine was about 3 years. No sex, no hugs, no holding hands and no kissing. It was like torture to me. In the end we split amicably as it was obviously not right for either of us, and we are both now much happier. | |||
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"It is at the point that you have tried literally everything & anything to get the intimate side of your Marriage to improve, & still your partner doesn't want to have sex with you for whatever reason. Only then, at that point when you realise that if you stay in that relationship you will never have sex again can you call it a sexless marriage! I have heard guys bat the term around that they are in a sexless marriage and they admit they still have sex with their Wife, just not as regularly as they would like. That is not a sexless marriage. That is a different sex drive! Well said. Too many people use "sexless marriage" as an excuse to be on here. If anyone wants to cheat then do it, just don't try to pass the blame on to unsuspecting partners. "  | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split " I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split " 100% agree. Be brave, admit your differences. Leave in as civilised manner as possible. | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. " What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish! | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish!" Not always the case | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish! Not always the case " Mine obviously doesn't want to be with me not cheated on me as far as i know, but wont leave as he doesn't like living alone and i do everything for him. Im scared to walk out because he uses emotional black mail | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish! Not always the case " Please note, we didn't say always. | |||
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"I was in a sexless relationship. He didn't desire me. He loved me - well he said he did - but he was content to be best friends. I had to leave because it made me feel bad. Best decision I ever made
He wasn't my friend - friends don't treat each other that way.
Withholding sex and refusing to discuss it is a type of abuse.
"Resonates so much I’ve just finished writing a book about it. With the editors now. I want to give you beautiful souls a free copy when it’s ready xx | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish! Not always the case Mine obviously doesn't want to be with me not cheated on me as far as i know, but wont leave as he doesn't like living alone and i do everything for him. Im scared to walk out because he uses emotional black mail " Like what? Look up the WomensAid website.  | |||
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"We haven’t had sex in over 30 months as my wife had a bad operation and her health as deteriorated badly!! We used to be a cpl on here and we had a healthy sexlife up until about 3-4 years back and as I say now 2 and half years without any with my wife!! I ain’t leaving her as it’s not her fault she’s so ill and Hasn’t got the strength etc Hence why I now have a single profile she knows I’m on here she knows when I have a possible meet have met etc etc I don’t keep anything from her and we love each other to!! But she says we had fun together on here so why shouldn’t I have fun on my own with her 101% permission!! All those in a sexless marriage speak to your wife husband and see what they say don’t Keep things from them!! we are still happy and been married 31 years this year and been together 34 years on 25th of this month" Communication is everything. | |||
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"We haven’t had sex in over 30 months as my wife had a bad operation and her health as deteriorated badly!! We used to be a cpl on here and we had a healthy sexlife up until about 3-4 years back and as I say now 2 and half years without any with my wife!! I ain’t leaving her as it’s not her fault she’s so ill and Hasn’t got the strength etc Hence why I now have a single profile she knows I’m on here she knows when I have a possible meet have met etc etc I don’t keep anything from her and we love each other to!! But she says we had fun together on here so why shouldn’t I have fun on my own with her 101% permission!! All those in a sexless marriage speak to your wife husband and see what they say don’t Keep things from them!! we are still happy and been married 31 years this year and been together 34 years on 25th of this month Communication is everything. " Agree totally! We have been together over 40 years. Honest communication whether good or bad news, that is the key. | |||
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"In your opinion, what defined a sexless marriage? Once a month? 3 months? A year?" Anything less then 24 hours a day 7 days a week. | |||
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"We haven’t had sex in over 30 months as my wife had a bad operation and her health as deteriorated badly!! We used to be a cpl on here and we had a healthy sexlife up until about 3-4 years back and as I say now 2 and half years without any with my wife!! I ain’t leaving her as it’s not her fault she’s so ill and Hasn’t got the strength etc Hence why I now have a single profile she knows I’m on here she knows when I have a possible meet have met etc etc I don’t keep anything from her and we love each other to!! But she says we had fun together on here so why shouldn’t I have fun on my own with her 101% permission!! All those in a sexless marriage speak to your wife husband and see what they say don’t Keep things from them!! we are still happy and been married 31 years this year and been together 34 years on 25th of this month Communication is everything. Agree totally! We have been together over 40 years. Honest communication whether good or bad news, that is the key. " Yes definitely as tough as it is we are happy obviously it’s not my wife’s fault we married in sickness and in health!! As she says it’s not fair I’m still able to and active (wishful thinking) as obviously people don’t meet married men well most don’t no matter what circumstances!! she’s not get in her now bless her literally but apart from that we are a perfect couple thanks all x | |||
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"I have been in this situation, it’s really hard and kills your self esteem. My question on this though is, for all of those in a sexless marriage; would it be better if they met your needs contrary to their want to have sex? It’s awful how it’s always the person who doesn’t want sex that drives the urgency but I think that the opposite situation is just as bad. I’m of the mindset that if you have opposing sex drives, and discussing/counselling results in no change, then that’s a very good indication that you’re not compatible, it’s not a reason to cheat, it’s a reason to split I agree but but sometimes hard to leave for one reason or another. What we have heard from a lot of cheats is that their reason is they are scared to be alone. Very selfish! Not always the case Mine obviously doesn't want to be with me not cheated on me as far as i know, but wont leave as he doesn't like living alone and i do everything for him. Im scared to walk out because he uses emotional black mail Like what? Look up the WomensAid website. "Threatens to drive his car till he cant drive it as he cant live alone. Sat in car last time up at a landmark mark hill nearby texting he had a bottle if jd was drinking it then driving. Texted his his says he driving as far away as possible n they wont see him anymore so they start texting me to find him | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" I’m in agreement with this. My wife and I don’t have sex any more, but we love each other very much and wouldn’t want to be without each other. Our tastes have diverged, but that’s no reason to knock everything else on the head. | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" I agree. I’m in a sexless marriage not loveless.. hence the reason of being on fab | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" This. I married my husband knowing he is asexual. He attempts sex once every couple of years or so, even then it's because he tries for me, he isn't into it . He wasn't aware or understanding of poly when we first started dating. Lots of conversation and time and explorations he's happy with me being poly, I assume him regularly that our love is the basis for our marriage, not his desire to play hide the sausage. | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone! I agree. I’m in a sexless marriage not loveless.. hence the reason of being on fab " Your wife is happy with your decision? | |||
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"No sex=sexless" We agree totally. Any decisions about sex elsewhere should involve a long and honest discussion between both partners. | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about a loveless marriage over a sexless one. A marriage can survive without sex but it can't survive without love. Curing a sexless marriage just takes work and communication. Once love has gone it's gone!" This | |||
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