FabSwingers.com forum: Meet anxiety

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The world is slowly returning to normal. Some people have been meeting right through, others have fastidiously observed the rules. Theres more talk now about socials etc.

I thought i’d be excited about being able to meet people again. I’m not. I am usually always nervous when meeting new people anyway, but this feels worse.

Anyone else getting cold feet about planning meets etc or revised how they will now do things compared to before?

Support, tips, advice....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is slowly returning to normal. Some people have been meeting right through, others have fastidiously observed the rules. Theres more talk now about socials etc.

I thought i’d be excited about being able to meet people again. I’m not. I am usually always nervous when meeting new people anyway, but this feels worse.

Anyone else getting cold feet about planning meets etc or revised how they will now do things compared to before?

Support, tips, advice....

None, but I'll show solidarity. Spent so much time alone I've got used to it. Not even excited by going to the pub, the idea of crowds is off putting let alone meeting strangers.

I'm sure we'll get over it soon enough.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have always suffered from this, it's a confidence thing, totally outside of your comfort zone sometimes, all sorts of thoughts go through you head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not the only one OP.. I'm feeling the same. Been so long since I've had that initial first meet with someone, I feel more anxious than I usually would.

I'm sure everything will be fine once I'm actually there but pretty much shitting myself more the closer its getting

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

A non-fab friend asked me about this last week. Because I live alone and do most of my social interactions through fab (meeting people, going out for dinner, having sex etc.) they said that I must be looking forward to an end to all restrictions.

To be honest, I’m a bit “shrugs shoulders” about it. I’ve got used to a very quiet life now and I’m not fearful or anxious about meeting new people, I’m just not sure I actually want too. I am currently contemplating (in my 46th year on Earth) whether I actually do want to have sex again, which sounds a little mad but there you go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should think this is common...how did you manage your anxiety before lockdown? You have succeeded in the past so know you can do it...start very gently and wishing you all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is slowly returning to normal. Some people have been meeting right through, others have fastidiously observed the rules. Theres more talk now about socials etc.

I thought i’d be excited about being able to meet people again. I’m not. I am usually always nervous when meeting new people anyway, but this feels worse.

Anyone else getting cold feet about planning meets etc or revised how they will now do things compared to before?

Support, tips, advice....

Not so much about planning meets because I have no intention of doing so but there's definitely things I used to enjoy doing that scare me now. Going to the pub, out for dinner, crowded places, I think are all going to be on a back seat until next year for me.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X"

What gig are we going to?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Take it slowly OP, there's no rush. I'm waiting until I feel more confident in myself and getting back out there. Do little things at first, a socially distanced walk with someone you feel comfortable with, build it up to going for a drink etc.

People will understand and everyone is doing things at their own pace - there's no pressure or rush to do everything now, you're not missing out by doing so.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I get it. I'm going back to in person volunteering this week and - yup, nervous.

Maybe start with people you already know? Coffee, just get used to the idea of meeting again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you know what's right for you.

Go with your gut.

Take it easy

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive not even been anywhere near the shops yet just out in the countryside. I have been to one beer garden. The only time ive been out the house without my mask on was one of my trips to the countryside. I only meet regular guys now but i have no plans to meet any of them yet and i am nervous about meeting them. Hell i was nervous about seeing my partner after 7 months apart

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X"

Ive been shopping once since things reopened and it was bearable. I’ll look for those articles thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the comments so far. Its helpful to know people feel similarly in terms of socialising nerves. I suppose it will take a while to feel ok about it all again.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

I empathise.

It's understandable, when we've been out of the swing of things for so long; the temptation to go on a binge after having been on a starvation diet for the past year is possible, but I will be pacing myself for my first post-lockdown group meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X

What gig are we going to?"

Black Lace?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X

Ive been shopping once since things reopened and it was bearable. I’ll look for those articles thank you x"

I sometimes go later at night when the crowds aren't around. Slow and steady steps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not alone, I'm also nervous about it. I plan to start with a few socially distanced socials to just get to know a few guys, hopefully ease myself back into it that way. Ultimately, you shouldn't do anything you don't want to, and you can take it at your pace. The good guys will understand that and the pushy arseholes can go do one lol

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I haven't met anyone of fabs for over 2 years now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try meeting friends before anything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have the hunger i used to have but thats more to do with all the things iv lost that matter to me its taken my fire from me its not that i cant meet or talk or play its more i dont want to nobody stacks up to the world i used to have nobody and nothing makes me excited anymore

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X

What gig are we going to?"

The Great Gig in the Sky eventually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVBCE3gaNxc

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I dislike the anxiety that first meets bring, I wish I could just click a finger and *boom* we are established lovers and just get on with it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I dislike the anxiety that first meets bring, I wish I could just click a finger and *boom* we are established lovers and just get on with it."

Agreed

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Sometimes nerves can be a good thing, it can be seen as a sign of excitement

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Have you been to the shops yet OP?

I'm avoiding the people I know/ work with but if there was a gig I'd go.

I've seen tips on helping people get out of the social distancing fear. There will be articles online. X

What gig are we going to?

The Great Gig in the Sky eventually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVBCE3gaNxc"

Here's the live version from Pulse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWZ6hmHj2MA

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

A few people I know and myself included feeling a real pressure to go out, party, socialise , eat out etc especially as the sun is out. Not even from others but from ourselves, like we should be doing more and making up for last year. But kinda got used to alternatives and having more cash. Socials , I’m sticking to nice walks and coffee for now , I actually prefer it to crowds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont have the hunger i used to have but thats more to do with all the things iv lost that matter to me its taken my fire from me its not that i cant meet or talk or play its more i dont want to nobody stacks up to the world i used to have nobody and nothing makes me excited anymore"

Yeah same. Xx

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Seriously though, I'm in no rush to get back into the swing of things, although me and 3 mates went to a couple of pubs with an outside beer garden on Friday, Fab socials and meets will be off my radar for the foreseeable future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is more to do with weight gain.

I get nervous about seeing people I havnt seen in a long time as I put 2 stone on.

I have started having garden socials though and breaking myself into it, learning a new acceptance of my body all over again.

Anxiety about doing things I dont have though and counting the days till clubs reopen.

Just remember, just because we can doesn't mean we have to. Do everything at your own pace x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a social planned with my DD and I'm incredibly nervous /anxious, it's been so long.. I'm sure once I'm in front of him the anxiety will melt away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people are in the same boat.

I'm just out of shopping in tesco and I was anxious in there, let alone being around strangers.

You are not the only person feeling like this.

Take your time. Maybe you will adapt quicker than you imagine.

I'm off to get my first vaccine right now but I still won't be hanging out with strangers

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

No. We're very excited. We have a Fab lady friend coming to stay with us the weekend after lockdown ends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously though, I'm in no rush to get back into the swing of things, although me and 3 mates went to a couple of pubs with an outside beer garden on Friday, Fab socials and meets will be off my radar for the foreseeable future

I like waking past pubs and seeing people sat in the sun chatting and laughing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is a gulf between the people who have been working through the crisis and those who've been locked up. I'd have gone utterly insane

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like waking past pubs and seeing people sat in the sun chatting and laughing.

Walking! Sheesh bad Doris.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I like waking past pubs and seeing people sat in the sun chatting and laughing.

That's what life's all about, social interaction. I treat this place as a virtual pub, I've never been afraid to meet new people/strangers, even during full lockdown, when I needed to go to town I've sat on a bench and chatted to some lovely people

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I always get nervous, and think about cancelling right up until the last minute, but then just do it anyway!

Keep it short and sweet, limit to an hour (unless you're having a good time and you don't have to rush off) my first socials went from 1 hour to about 3 because we were getting on well and I didn't need to make an excuse and leave!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i’ve felt this a little , not with fab meets obviously but even just trying to be around people again

and its not about the distance or germs or anything, its just been so long that i have been isolated

ive had a couple of walks with friends and felt exhausted after them, i think all there is for it is to keep pushing myself a little at a time til it doesn’t feel strange or like an effort anymore

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I am not meeting newbies this year, purely down the instant self gratification doubt. I'm not going to be anybody's fuck n go after lockdown, the trust is going to take a while to build up again, so I'm sticking to my known playmates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meeting any new person, not in a fab context, will be difficult. Even talking to my dearest fab friend on cams the other week made me nervous and I had to run away and hide! I think practising social interaction through facetime is how I'm going to acclimatise to the idea of eventually meeting face to face. I don't do busy pubs and bars, so I'm not bothered about mingling in crowds. I've been to a couple of quiet shops, which was actually lovely. You'll get there OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I'm looking forward to it when I can xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get absolutely horrendous nerves meeting people, definitely worse since working at home. A quick tighten of my meet pigtails and telling myself fuckit and just do it and I can turn the nerves off. Usually diving straight in helps too!

Thinking about going out, meeting people, how it's going to go etc makes it worse.

I found Sports Direct and Primark a real challenge today with so many people, little overwhelming. It will get better!

Tabitha x

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I always get nervous even with T by my side. I think at the last group social we went to just before lockdown I necked a glass of wine at the bar!! I think I worry too much about what people will think of me.

I have no idea how I’ll be once life starts returning to “normal” but it’s 1 day at a time

J x

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

Yes this is very much a concern for me.

I tried not to bottle it up and explained what was going on in my head. But that backfired too. Maybe for the best in that case as if someone cant understand I have anxiety then they're not someone I should be around.

I know not everyone is like that and I guess it's a learning curve to be climbed.

I have a good support circle of friends so for now I'll stick with them until I feel brave enough to dip a toe once again

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Well I look at it as having contented with a grand reset. Back to basics. I think labelling oneself as feeling anxious doesn't help . Just be you. You'll be fine, and so your baseline energy shall reciprocate. We have all had to go through it.

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