FabSwingers.com forum: Punching above your weight

By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

With so many attractive women and handsome men on here, do you sometimes feel you are punching above your weight in sending a first message, even though you match aspects of a person's profile, but know it will either not get read or read and deleted.

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Nope. There's mutual interest or there isn't, and some people are fantastic at selling themselves but not really all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s all relative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With so many attractive women and handsome men on here, do you sometimes feel you are punching above your weight in sending a first message, even though you match aspects of a person's profile, but know it will either not get read or read and deleted.

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

I punch well above my weight, get no replies so that proves it. Doesn't deter me, laws of probability might work for me at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's important to read their profile to see if you're likely to be their type. Otherwise it's wasting everyone's time. But there should be no hierarchy to these things. If they say they like tall brunettes, and you're a tall brunette, go for it!

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By *arte_Blanche_NECouple
over a year ago

Northern

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

No never, if we sent someone a message and that’s how they made us feel we would cut it short at that point. We would hope we don’t make anyone feel this way either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They like you or they don't.

Complaining won't change it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No such thing as punching above your weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No , never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I do, depends on my mood and mindset

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Everyone has to wipe their arse, so nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

I always think I'm punching above my weight. It surprises me because I'm normally quite a confident person but I get tongue tied around women so I guess that's where it comes from. Us humans are overly complicated sometimes

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

No one is above anyone on here if they don’t read it then you know better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe I'm punching above my weight in our relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. "

Exactly, dynamics work in many ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. "

How it is sister

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

If I thought I matched what they are looking for, I'd message them.

Many, many, many years ago I'd be too hard on myself and wouldn't because I would think if they looked like that there's no chance they could be interested in me. But that's not how attraction works for one, it's not complimentary to those I have met and it reeks of low self esteem. I still have wobbles but I'm getting better at liking me.

Of course some people have preferences when it comes to body shape. If you don't match that, probably best not to message!

(That's not a you as in OP)

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

Never feel like you're punching, you just never know what the other person likes in a man.

The only time I wouldn't bother is if they state certain prefences that don't match me.

Otherwise you just might miss out on the woman of your dreams because you assumed she wouldn't like you

He who dares, wins

Sometimes

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By *phrodite_AdonisCouple
over a year ago

No not really

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. "
why disregarded, I don't fit with what you are looking for, so I wouldn't message you, no biggie, I actually do read a profile, I do take time to actually think do I fit, before I message, , it doesn't actually bother me if I d6 get a reply, or its deleted, I accept I am not for them.

I have been luck enough to connect with a few people who have actually taken the time to get to know who I am, not just what my profile says, I am more than the sum of my profile, and as I said, it wasnt a moan.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'm not sure what the correct terminology is here but here's my two penny's worth ...

I know I'm not Brad Pitt or some bronzed adonis and any woman that shows an interest genuinely surprises me , I'm a fairly confident guy though and a tad flirty and cheeky .

But there are no Leagues so to speak of, just preferences

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "
You only think they are above your weight, some of them are not what they seem.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I sometimes question if I deserve a certain woman.

And I normally come to the conclusion - yes.

If she likes me and i like her then it is to be.

After all - we are all beautiful in our own way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. why disregarded, I don't fit with what you are looking for, so I wouldn't message you, no biggie, I actually do read a profile, I do take time to actually think do I fit, before I message, , it doesn't actually bother me if I d6 get a reply, or its deleted, I accept I am not for them.

Not fitting with what someone is looking for is totally different to punching above weight or leagues. Those terms mean that people are above others, fitting with what people want has nothing to do with people being above others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger I had no idea where I fitted in the league table because of the Arizona Sunset bouffant, I thought that’s gonna be niche so I’ll wait till they come to me, at first I thought some were winding me up but turns out they weren’t and I was pleasantly surprised. I mean I could have gone for glory myself, but I wasn’t equipped for a knock back, so I’d just wait. Someone did say once how did you get her and I said she come to me, which resulted in a puzzled look.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

I feel like I’m punching with every person I speak to. I was brought up to place every woman on a pedestal. And treat her with respect too.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Just because someone ticks your boxes doesn't mean the feeling will be mutual.

That has nothing to do with them being better than you, instead that sentiment is often used as a band aid to help with low self esteem issues.

Remember just because we all share a fondness for the same lifestyle doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to meet people that tou will click with.

Remove the pressure you may be putting on yourself to find a sexual partner, and just try to make connections and learn to be and love yourself.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not so much punching above my weight, but more of a forum famous kind of thing. I rarely message forum men as it’s a bit like spotting Tom Hanks in B&Q and it makes me nervous and unsettled

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"Not so much punching above my weight, but more of a forum famous kind of thing. I rarely message forum men as it’s a bit like spotting Tom Hanks in B&Q and it makes me nervous and unsettled

"
Just curious, what is Tom Hanks buying in B&Q?

I do actualy need to know.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

All the time x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Not so much punching above my weight, but more of a forum famous kind of thing. I rarely message forum men as it’s a bit like spotting Tom Hanks in B&Q and it makes me nervous and unsettled

Just curious, what is Tom Hanks buying in B&Q?

I do actualy need to know."

He looks like he’d be in the powertool section looking for paint. No sense of direction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time, although I am surprised by how many times I've been messaged through interactions or contributions to the forums by people I would definitely consider out of my league.

I guess that personality and perspective can help after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always am lol

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By *opilotMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

"All the time x"

Never xx

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By *ogNMuseCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"Not so much punching above my weight, but more of a forum famous kind of thing. I rarely message forum men as it’s a bit like spotting Tom Hanks in B&Q and it makes me nervous and unsettled

Just curious, what is Tom Hanks buying in B&Q?

I do actualy need to know.

He looks like he’d be in the powertool section looking for paint. No sense of direction. "

Research for Money Pit 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We make our own leagues to trap ourselves. It's a construct of our own psychology.

There are some really good looking guys here who are painfully insecure and stunning women who have self image issues and none of them are seeing actual reality because their self image isn't what other people see.

We went to socials and clubs and found a wall of really attractive men gathered at the bar like sheep in a pen. It was their own fear that stopped them mingling. Single women were similar but different.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

Look at my verifications, I have punched over my weight so many times x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In terms of leagues, I don't believe in them. Everyone has their preferences but no one is above anyone else on here. If someone made me feel that way, I couldnt meet with them. If you let your insecurities take over, you won't enjoy the meet anyway

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

Yes i am met some sexy couples and we have all enjoyed what we have done i let my veryfi on here say it all

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"All the time x

Never xx "

Always. I'm just your average run of the mill woman. I suppose though I can't be all that bad x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No such thing in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do chuckle to myself as I'm writing a message that my tastes and desires are writing cheques my looks can't cash. Shit or bust is what I say. I do read the profile first and only message if I feel we match up in some way.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am always punching above my weight.... I am the open weight champion of the world!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. "

This

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By *rishCouple2kCouple
over a year ago

Berkshire

[Removed by poster at 24/04/21 17:43:37]

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm National League North, mid-table with a slightly negative goal difference

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

Yes, especially since I gained some weight during lock-down

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Not at all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is therefore subjective. Hence why I'm fugly and luna is gorgeous, at least in my eyes anyway others may disagree and that's fine.

Mr H.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No leagues, I'll chat to anybody and sometimes we have enough chemistry to make a connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just know that I won't be setting my sights on anyone in the furom again. I'll still perve though

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I'm National League North, mid-table with a slightly negative goal difference

"
better than the evostick division 2 lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'm National League North, mid-table with a slightly negative goal difference

better than the evostick division 2 lol"

I'm no Sunday league gal, I'll have you know!

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Oh god not this again.

Leagues, punching above weight, should be obsolete and totally disregarded.

You either click with someone or you don't. "

That's all well & good if you're meeting someone in a bar or similar...meeting on Fab is very different because we're all presented with physical attributes first & foremost- you mostly have to pass the physical attraction test before you can decide on more cerebral compatibility, so yes- I think it's entirely natural to feel that you might be punching!!

I am constantly surprised by the types of men who I've met on here. I have been punching above my weight every single time, in my opinion!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No if it’s mutual not at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im absolutely punching. Px

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im always punching above my weight have done most my life and it’s payed off at times. I’m no oil painting but confident enough to still talk and try my luck with women that are on a whole different Level

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I get mighty confused by this. Almost every time this question is asked people say they do feel they're punching above their weight and it's always with reference to how people look in relation to them. Yet other threads are full of people saying it's all about personality and looks are unimportant.

Nobody is better than someone else because of how they look.

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"im absolutely punching. Px "

Are you bollocks

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By *ovelaughliveCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

Yes there are some very sexy people on here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of the time I feel that I am 'punching above my weight' but I suppose that is after a long time of being put down and made to feel like nothing..

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By *l1pp3ryCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

We never punch above our weight if we're initiating. If we're responding to a wink or a message we review the senders profile and if they have face pics we judge their face against ours and if we think they'll reject us we dont respond to winks or if they messaged we send a polite reply that we dont think we'll interest them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to punch below my weight....im sometimes embarrassed by my good looks....many...many women don't reply to my messages because im too good looking for them....at least I think thats why....mmmmmm?

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

No one should think such a thing, we are all on here for the same reason, we all find attractions in different individuals, it’s just finding that person and going for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is better than anybody else, so it's a no from me Op

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I have to punch below my weight....im sometimes embarrassed by my good looks....many...many women don't reply to my messages because im too good looking for them....at least I think thats why....mmmmmm?"
I know the feeling, do you also have problems getting through all the PM's you get, it's a real painbisnt it

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By *heMightySpud69Man
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Wouldn't get laid if I wasn't punching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, I'm amazing. I genuinely like me and if other people don't then they can just toddle off.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Nah, I'm amazing. I genuinely like me and if other people don't then they can just toddle off."

Hooray! A refreshing attitude

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

Yes absolutely on occasions , I mostly talk myself out of the whole thing and dont proceed any further after a few messages . When I do go on and meet , the doubt remain ... was it a case of any hole is a goal ?

Sorry gents , no offence meant . Just the way my "insecurities" works .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So if you feel you're punching do you still go ahead and meet or not?

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By *heMightySpud69Man
over a year ago

Milton keynes

"So if you feel you're punching do you still go ahead and meet or not? "

Rarely even get a reply, but never stops me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im absolutely punching. Px "

She’s lying

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So if you feel you're punching do you still go ahead and meet or not?

Rarely even get a reply, but never stops me"

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I used to think there was no point messaging really attractive people who would be out of my league in real life. But Fab is a tiny microcosm where you may well find someone finds you just as appealing for a variety of reasons. I'm aware I don't have the greatest body and frankly refer to myself as a lardarse- but I am capable of giving and receiving pleasure, responding to my partner's needs and ensuring we both have a great time. So say hi to someone you fancy, you never know where it may lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all seriousness...every female on this thread i would not message because your all out of my precived league x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In all seriousness...every female on this thread i would not message because your all out of my precived league x"

I thought that once.

Sent her a message and we’ve been together a long time.

Do not underestimate yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not really, we don't see ourselves as better than anyone else nor see everyone else better than us

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't send messages for meets on this profile. Everyone is out of my league and above me. I won't even put them through the horror of a social with me.

Bi MMF meets as a couple are great. The men can fuck and I watch. They are happy I don't join in.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

Even if I might send a first message, it doesn’t necessarily mean I expect a connection or meeting. You’re assuming all people here still subscribe to ‘class’ structure. If Its something I want I will go for it! Regardless! It either works or it doesn’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have felt like that when I joined. Not anymore. Unless I know they have a specific type/high specs;-) I don't fit in. Then it still wouldn't be punching above my weight. We are equals. Though some might be more of sexual predators then others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its easy to forget that matching enough interests boxes reading their profile isn't anywhere near enough. Just because they seem like they could be someone compatible in the bedroom based on what they put in bio, it doesn't mean they would feel the same, it's just a little thin foundation..isn't it?

Sometimes I feel like i got out most of conversations I had with people who seemed to be on the polar opposite of what I put in my profile.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Whilst I don't like the league analogy, there is a general societal consensus on beauty "ideals", which I believe people are referring more to than actual leagues when they say this (and yes, those ideals are probably largely media driven, but that's a whole new thread in itself!) I think we all place ourselves and others, either consciously or subconsciously, on this scale of societal ideals...and if you perceive yourself to be higher or lower than somebody else, that's where a mismatch can be assumed.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Absolutly not. I read profiles if i thought we where a good match id send a message. Faint heart never won fair lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont go in for the whole punching above your weight thing but I've been in awe of some of the people I've found out who would be interested in me as I never would have thought they would think of me like that.

Its my own nervousness and shyness that would stop me from saying anything to someone I liked.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No never think like that! We all equal in my book! X

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I don’t believe in leagues or ‘punching’.

People are attracted to lots of different things in people and whilst a certain person might be ‘conventionally attractive’ that doesn’t mean that they’re drawn to the same thing in others or the same thing in every person that they meet.

I’ve heard of people looking at others past veri’s and breaking contact because they don’t feel that they match that persons ‘type’, which is a very strange concept.

We’re all people, if there’s mutual attraction then it doesn’t matter

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

No I am as good as anyone else on here. Negative thinking will get you nowhere

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I’ve heard of people looking at others past veri’s and breaking contact because they don’t feel that they match that persons ‘type’, which is a very strange concept.

I'm guilty of this

Not breaking contact as such but preventing me from making contact or cooling thing down .

More of a case that

1 I don't measure up

2 I'm nothing like their perceived preferences

There's some self preservation motives in there too ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all pee on a toilet..

So we all same.. some just have different opinions, outlooks attitudes and standards.

So we all the same but unique

#bekind

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

[Removed by poster at 25/04/21 10:46:40]

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"We all pee on a toilet..

So we all same.. some just have different opinions, outlooks attitudes and standards.

So we all the same but unique

#bekind"

I once peed in a hole. And in some bushes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess sometimes it's a better leveller in here than in real life.

When I'm walking down the street, I barely get a look unless I'm dressed up. In here, a few well angled pictures and I can get attention so obviously this translates into 'why would they want me?'

Punching, no. I know I'm a nice person and I particularly love being sexual. But recognition, that's totally new to me as I've felt invisible for a long time in the real world. X

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"I guess sometimes it's a better leveller in here than in real life.

When I'm walking down the street, I barely get a look unless I'm dressed up. In here, a few well angled pictures and I can get attention so obviously this translates into 'why would they want me?'

Punching, no. I know I'm a nice person and I particularly love being sexual. But recognition, that's totally new to me as I've felt invisible for a long time in the real world. X "

To be fair, that’s exactly how I feel every day in the real world. You articulated what happens in my brain daily.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’ve heard of people looking at others past veri’s and breaking contact because they don’t feel that they match that persons ‘type’, which is a very strange concept.

I'm guilty of this

Not breaking contact as such but preventing me from making contact or cooling thing down .

More of a case that

1 I don't measure up

2 I'm nothing like their perceived preferences

There's some self preservation motives in there too ...

I used to have a similar conversation with friends about it. You call it self preservation, I call it self sabotage

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I’ve heard of people looking at others past veri’s and breaking contact because they don’t feel that they match that persons ‘type’, which is a very strange concept.

I'm guilty of this

Not breaking contact as such but preventing me from making contact or cooling thing down .

More of a case that

1 I don't measure up

2 I'm nothing like their perceived preferences

There's some self preservation motives in there too ...

I used to have a similar conversation with friends about it. You call it self preservation, I call it self sabotage"

You can call it whatever you like lovely , doesn't make my feelings less valid

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I’ve heard of people looking at others past veri’s and breaking contact because they don’t feel that they match that persons ‘type’, which is a very strange concept.

I'm guilty of this

Not breaking contact as such but preventing me from making contact or cooling thing down .

More of a case that

1 I don't measure up

2 I'm nothing like their perceived preferences

There's some self preservation motives in there too ...

I used to have a similar conversation with friends about it. You call it self preservation, I call it self sabotage

You can call it whatever you like lovely , doesn't make my feelings less valid

Nope, not at all! I’m not dismissing your feelings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe in the concept of people being in or out of my league. Everyone's preferences are different, so it's natural that some people I'm attracted to will be attracted to me and others won't.

I do sometimes feel intimidated messaging 'traditionally attractive' people, but that's rare these days.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Sometimes but if you don't try you'll never know.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"It’s all relative "

I've shagged his Mum ^

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By *apillon500Couple
over a year ago

kent

I’ll definitely avoid messaging those I feel are ‘too hot’ to be interested in us (me). But worse than that if a super fit guy messages us, I assume they are taking the piss. I also compare us to photos of their other meets and will convince myself we have missold ourselves (me) and retreat to the shadows. Much more confident in ‘live’ situations such as clubs as I think it’s a more realist view of my flaws - sold as seen, so to speak!!! Dee x

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By *eandHim2019Couple
over a year ago

preston

Depends how I'm feeling about myself. I sometimes feel if fit women and men message us that they will look at me and say hell no. Hubby thinks I'm crazy lol. It doesn't stop me talking cuz I'm a chatty person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once upon a time i was lucky enough to be loved by a goddess but as life goes i see she was the lucky one as i loved her more

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Never

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"do you sometimes feel you are punching above your weight"

No, if you match what their profile says anyone is fair game to message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually don't know my weight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually don't know my weight "

This

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I actually don't know my weight "

You're very heavy

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

I’m not put off by how good anyone looks.

They all shit and fart the same as me so what’s to shrink away from.

I will respect people profiles but no I’m not phased.

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"I actually don't know my weight "

Come & lay on top of me & I'll give you my best guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As if

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many many women out of my league and shy to message them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do, I don’t get chatted up in real life very often so it translates into my reaction to messages on here. But I have been pleasantly surprised at times. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont believe in 'leagues' as such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never punch

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

[Removed by poster at 25/04/21 20:35:07]

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"Many many women out of my league and shy to message them"

Good man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never punch "

What does this even mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t believe punching above your weight is really a thing everyone has their tastes and some you wouldn’t be surprised by

However feeling that I’m not good enough for anyone is something that comes around and rears it’s head every so often like a black cloud but that’s depression it’s nothing to do with my confidence which when I’m in a good place is in abundance

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I never send the first message

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I think for me it's because I don't get chatted up in real life, generally tend to be the one stood to the side while my friends are, so when someone on here who I consider good looking messages me it's a bit of an oh! moment and a surprise and I don't always know how to react. I'm slowly getting better though x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Took me a while to accept that a lot of guys would say nice things.

And that a lot of them actually meant it.

But we're all here to pick and choose

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

It's difficult, especially when you may not be so keen on your own body type, to realise that others may find you attractive.

Even if that person is a significant other, there can still be the little voice that asks why they're with you.

It's really only when you realise that many many people have this little voice themselves that you can let go of it.

That just my experience (Mr. Cc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never punch

What does this even mean"

Do you ever PUNCH above your weight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m definitely punching high, but you need to take the plunge, I seriously thought I might just get a thankyou to a message to a beautiful woman in here,

Yet it’s going so much better than I could of imagined

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"It's difficult, especially when you may not be so keen on your own body type, to realise that others may find you attractive.

Even if that person is a significant other, there can still be the little voice that asks why they're with you.

It's really only when you realise that many many people have this little voice themselves that you can let go of it.

That just my experience (Mr. Cc)"

This is so true!!

I always think men approach me because they think I'll be desperate enough to be a sure fire meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a lover, not a fighter, so I don't punch.

I also don't do pigeon holes, so leagues are out of the question.

I had a tendency to be self deprecating and thinking I was out of league, but now realise life is too short for nonsense like that.

If someone likes me, they like me, irrespective of whatever league others may put them in (or put themselves in at times).

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"It's difficult, especially when you may not be so keen on your own body type, to realise that others may find you attractive.

Even if that person is a significant other, there can still be the little voice that asks why they're with you.

It's really only when you realise that many many people have this little voice themselves that you can let go of it.

That just my experience (Mr. Cc)

This is so true!!

I always think men approach me because they think I'll be desperate enough to be a sure fire meet

Whereas it's more likely that you're just up their street, so to speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat it like the FA Cup, sometimes small clubs can cause an upset, no wait that’s not right, I’ve got this, okay, sometimes Premier league teams have to play away against league 3 sides and because it’s massive for the smaller clubs they often raise their games and the Premier teams are taken by surprise, so say you pull a stunner and raise your game she will think well he really worked his ass off so I’m going to give him another go, no that’s not it, okay sometimes because of the romance of the cup if you aim for the stars you might go through the roof. So instead of seeing leagues you treat it more like the FA cup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m definitely punching high, but you need to take the plunge, I seriously thought I might just get a thankyou to a message to a beautiful woman in here,

Yet it’s going so much better than I could of imagined

Oooft hellllooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m definitely punching high, but you need to take the plunge, I seriously thought I might just get a thankyou to a message to a beautiful woman in here,

Yet it’s going so much better than I could of imagined

Lucky you for the both of them

Oooft hellllooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I punch above sometimes you get as click most times not. But if you don't ask you don't get

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By *rMrs84Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Yeah sure sometimes but none of us are here for the forever relationships just a bit of fun. No harm in any flirting snd seeing where it goes.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I never send a first message. Loads of single blokes on here and it would boil my noggin to keep casting my line out without a nibble.

Put some pics up, write a profile, don’t moan in your status and then look at the pretty pictures, what will be will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never send a first message. Loads of single blokes on here and it would boil my noggin to keep casting my line out without a nibble.

Put some pics up, write a profile, don’t moan in your status and then look at the pretty pictures, what will be will be. "

He waits, that’s what he does, tick follows tock

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"I never send a first message. Loads of single blokes on here and it would boil my noggin to keep casting my line out without a nibble.

Put some pics up, write a profile, don’t moan in your status and then look at the pretty pictures, what will be will be.

He waits, that’s what he does, tick follows tock"

With a Guinness.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t believe in punching above your weight. There’s a reason people find each other. And it depends on every individual’s perspective. Everyone is attracted to different things. Would you really want to meet someone that thought they were in some way better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isnt a moan by the way just interested in others thoughts on the subject "

naw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never really been chatted up by men when I'm our with friends but all my friends seem too.

On here I get the odd message and reply.

So I don't punch above my weight and been knocked back too many times now to even think about it. Happy to give a compliment when it's due.

Think it's more that you have the confidence to message or talk to someone who is good looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a big fan of that saying it implies (to me ) that someone is better than you or "out of your league"

We are all attracted to different kinds of personalities,looks,size,age (thankfully)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a big fan of that saying it implies (to me ) that someone is better than you or "out of your league"

We are all attracted to different kinds of personalities,looks,size,age (thankfully)

I’d never go for a profile like yours due to one pic and no verifications yet been on over a year

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this"

Why is your profile half a mile long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been punching above my weight for so long that I'm now challenging the Blue Whale to be the largest mammal on the planet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been punching above my weight for so long that I'm now challenging the Blue Whale to be the largest mammal on the planet

Ok, that doesn’t make sense. Aim lower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been punching above my weight for so long that I'm now challenging the Blue Whale to be the largest mammal on the planet

Ok, that doesn’t make sense. Aim lower"

Clearly.....I tried that too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been punching above my weight for so long that I'm now challenging the Blue Whale to be the largest mammal on the planet

Ok, that doesn’t make sense. Aim lower

Clearly.....I tried that too

Right, sure...huh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been punching above my weight for so long that I'm now challenging the Blue Whale to be the largest mammal on the planet

Ok, that doesn’t make sense. Aim lower

Clearly.....I tried that too

Right, sure...huh!"

Yup

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I know my place

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I don't - I'm the sexiest man on this site.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this

Why is your profile half a mile long

Because I'm only 5"2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this

Why is your profile half a mile long

Because I'm only 5"2

Bless

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this

Why is your profile half a mile long

Because I'm only 5"2

Bless "

Pretty much

lol prefer the ed at the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At times I think I am but unexpectedly we get on very well I don't see myself as anything special I'm just myself and some people prefer this

Why is your profile half a mile long

Because I'm only 5"2

Bless

Pretty much

lol prefer the ed at the end"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t dare send a first message.

Despite my Forum ‘persona,’ I’m really rather shy.

The ladies here seem to know what they want and aren’t shy about sending the first message. I’d rather leave it to them to decide.

If I can’t catch their attention in the Forum, I’m not going to catch their attention with a message amongst the rest they receive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm definitely punching with Ginge.

Yay me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No such thing as punching above your weight. "

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

I agree!

Bullshit term.

Noticed it's often aimed at Ginger guys.Prince Harry; Ed Sheran; Mick Hucknall who have no problem with female attention.

If however, you are a cracking bit of stuff ginger female no one batters an eyelid or makes any comment.... and yes - have had a ginger female girlfriend before thanks!

If you are both good for one another, so what?

Seems like others are jealous....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on side with all the comments that it's about finding out if you are compatible, not working out where you are on a scale and seeing if it matches.

I've been lucky enough to meet with a forumite, and a 'Nine' (see last paragraph), neither were any better or any worse than anyone else I've met because we'd wound ourselves up appropriately beforehand. Their 'status' didn't add anything. However it is safe to say, accepting we/society do put people in these positions, Fab does 'level the playing field' as it were, because neither of them would have given me a second glance in the real world.

But to dumb it down a little, if you've not seen Jim Jefferies do his ones and tens sketch, it's very funny! "fucked a nine once".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sort of agree. I know that 99% of people who message me wouldn't look twice in the real world. Think it's why I find it hard to have convos on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think about it. I message without an objective, simply to pay a compliment or make a comment about a post they’ve made.

I’m far less shy here than I am offline.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think about it. I message without an objective, simply to pay a compliment or make a comment about a post they’ve made.

I’m far less shy here than I am offline."

This is what I do. Then if the convo continues I have plenty of time to put them off

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Chemistry and humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think about it. I message without an objective, simply to pay a compliment or make a comment about a post they’ve made.

I’m far less shy here than I am offline.

This is what I do. Then if the convo continues I have plenty of time to put them off

It’s like we’re from the same pod, my brother pea!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chemistry and humour "

U R Au.

It’s our chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope everyone I’ve slept with I think I am more than worthy of

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

To be honest, not really as although I'm pretty average in looks I bring enough goodies to the table

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"To be honest, not really as although I'm pretty average in looks I bring enough goodies to the table

Pizza

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"To be honest, not really as although I'm pretty average in looks I bring enough goodies to the table

Pizza

There's always pizza

Not with pineapple though because that's just wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always find it sad when people compare themselves to others purely a 1-10 scale of how conventionally attractively their features are put together.

Chutzpah beats looks. Ask Arthur Miller or Woody Allen (OK Allen's a creep now but he did pull Diane Keaton back in the day).

Also, while we're on Arthur Miller, I always find it fascinating to read how Marilyn was quite insecure about her looks, the most desired woman on the planet at the time.

If I thought I was punching above my weight I'd never have had any relationships. I went through that in my teens, then something clicked in my mid-20s and I acquired confidence and a belief that nobody was out of my league. I mean they might think they are, in which case I have no need of that level of ego sharing my space.

I think the key, if there is such a thing, is being able to flirt comfortably, give off confidence, self-possession and genuine interest in somebody you're into. And to shrug it off and move on if that doesn't work.

Nobody wants a needy narcissist.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

All tjr time. I very very very rarely message anyone and always get twitchy about sending photo. Or if a really attractive man messages me, I think it's a wind up.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am unfamiliar with the phrase.

All I know is , that no one on this planet or even the next is too good for me. In looks or any other characteristic.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'm huge, so not many men are above my weight

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm huge, so not many men are above my weight

Here endeth this thread

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I used to suffer from self esteem issues but now I am more than capable of looking someone in the eye as an equal and to me that is much more important and attractive than feeling in punching above my weight or that they see me as a bit of rough.

That equality makes for a much better mutual experience and I won't entertain anyone who thinks otherwise.

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