FabSwingers.com forum: Joke thread

By *oung n hung for fun OP Man
over a year ago

Coundon , Bishop Auckland

I'm feeling depressed this evening so let's see your best jokes, maybe cheer some of us up this evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call bears with no ears?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy washed up on deserted Island with a dog and a pig...

They all spent next several weeks learning to survive on Island which included a ritual that every evening they all head down to shoreline and watch the sunset every night.

One night a beautiful golden sunset happened and man started to have romantic thoughts while looking at pig and made move over to pig. The dog noticed this and didn't like and barked and growled until man moved away from pig.

The man tried every evening after to get close to pig to initiate his urges but dog stopped it everytime.

Couple of months later a beautiful lady is washed up on beach.

The man dog and pig nursed the lady back to health and she became one of the clan.

One evening the man said here since your now back to full health wanna come down to shoreline with myself dog and pig and watch sunset. Lady agreed ..... so they all sat and once again an amazing Golden sunset happened and the man started to feel the urges again... looking straight into the ladies eyes he leaned over and whispered into her ear...

FANCY TAKING THE DOG FOR A WALK FOR ME!!!!

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

What’s the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrgh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man takes a young boy out of the boot of his car and walks him into the woods just before sunset. As they go further into the woods, it gets colder as night starts to fall. Overhead there is a full moon and strange animal noises can be heard, but still they go further into the woods. It's pitch black now but there's a orange glow coming from a ramshackle cabin ahead. The little boy stops dead and he wets his trousers. He looks the man in the eyes and tells him he's scared. The man replies 'You're scared?!?! Imagine how I feel. I've got to walk back to the car alone".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm feeling depressed this evening so let's see your best jokes, maybe cheer some of us up this evening"

How inappropriate you wNt lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the Mexican Kick his Wife off the Bridge?

TEQUILLLLLLLLLLLLA!!!

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By *estman for the jobMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

How do you make a hormone.....wipe your dick on her curtains

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By *siancouplehantsCouple
over a year ago

K-PAX

When I was a child I use to pray and ask god for a bike.....after a while I realised things did not work that way so I stole a bike and started asking for forgiveness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/04/21 22:18:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Typo

There's a brothel on top of a hill. One man is going up the hill, one man is coming down the hill, and one man is in the brothel. What nationality are they?

Man going up the hill... Hes Russian.

Man coming down the hill... Hes Finnish.

Man in the brothel.. Well, Himalayan!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend keeps asking me to have sex with her on the bonnet of her Honda. I keep telling her that if we have sex it'll be on my accord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True story...

I was in the doctors, Dr Pete Winslow, getting my prostate and nuts checked for cancer and what do you know......

Anyway, just after this guy had his finger up my bum, he takes the gloves off, blows on his hands rubs tgem together furiously and starts moving my balls around like they are those meditation balls, you know the ones you twiddle in your hands....

This guy kinda smells a bit like whiskey and old spice or brut, not sure which, anyway.... He stops, squeezes a little bit harder than he should, looks me in the eye and says,

"Mr Helmford, it isnt normal to have an erection during this procedure!!!!"..

I look down at my cock,confused and then i say to him

"but im not hard"..

And he said...

"but i am"

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

She begged and she pleaded for more

He said "but darling, we've already had four

And I know it's absurd

But I'm sure that you've heard

That Eros, spelled backwards, is sore".

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

Batman "Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

Joker "exactly."

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Went into the shop and asked for a twirl and a boost. The guy spun round and said I had nice teeth

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By *oung n hung for fun OP Man
over a year ago

Coundon , Bishop Auckland

Slightly cheered up now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrgh!"
awwww you got to it before me

.... darn it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difference between a fridge and a vagina?...

The fridge doesn't make a noise when you pull the meat out...

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I heard this limerick earlier today...

There once was a lady from Slough

Who, last year, developed a cough

She wasn't to know

It would last until now

Let's hope the old dear pulls through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm feeling depressed this evening so let's see your best jokes, maybe cheer some of us up this evening"
here’s one from more chivalrous times ...

He offered her honour

She honoured his offer

All night long he was honour and offer.

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By *oung n hung for fun OP Man
over a year ago

Coundon , Bishop Auckland

Boost?

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By *imatureMan
over a year ago

sligo

Man knocking on my door with beard no wonder I didn’t hear him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Boost? "

Yes please and a can of Lilt to wash it down with.

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