FabSwingers.com forum: Can you handle Criticism?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

How very dare you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you know if you can't handle it - or will this be a thread full of people in denial?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How very dare you!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

depends what type of critism

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course, I take it as a compliment if someone has the relationship or confidence to be constructively critical of someone. Unless it’s clearly wrong (which is different to ignoring the truth or only wanting to hear good things).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"depends what type of critism"

What are the different types?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I find the best way to handle criticism is to treat it with the contempt it deserves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do we know? "

Are you angry when someone says something negative about you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What? What? WHAT did I do now???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Of course, I take it as a compliment if someone has the relationship or confidence to be constructively critical of someone. Unless it’s clearly wrong (which is different to ignoring the truth or only wanting to hear good things). "

Don't you think most people only want to hear good things though?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find the best way to handle criticism is to treat it with the contempt it deserves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Constrictive criticism absolutely welcome it ... just criticism from family and friends, then if I can see their point of view maybe. From people that don't know me, I happily listen to their points of view especially well thought out ones - but direct personal criticism? Then no as its largely based on assumptions

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"depends what type of critism

What are the different types?"
constructive critism i can take people taking things apart just to please themselves i cant be doing with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What? What? WHAT did I do now???"

You know what you did!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the moment probably not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do we know?

Are you angry when someone says something negative about you?

I rarely get angry. But I am grumpy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely I can take it but can you give it without offending??

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By *avid from farnboroughMan
over a year ago

Farnborough and Chepstow

If by handle it ..you mean fly into a childish rage then er yeah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the context. Constructive feedback, yes, someone being mean to me, probably not, especially at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me wrong, how very dare you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Constrictive criticism absolutely welcome it ... just criticism from family and friends, then if I can see their point of view maybe. From people that don't know me, I happily listen to their points of view especially well thought out ones - but direct personal criticism? Then no as its largely based on assumptions "

Personal criticism is the worst kind - it's difficult to swallow - especially as it's disguised as 'opinion'

But maybe it's just as valid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely I can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In seriousness, if it’s constructive in some way, I tend to take it and try to suppress my ego’s need to rebut it.

If it’s criticism for the sake of someone’s need to relief their own troubles on me, then I’m not sure. Depends on whether I can be bothered to challenge it or not. Sometimes, I just have better things to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as it's constructive then yes, I could even learn from it. But criticism for the sake of it or to bring me down..... no.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Assuming that it is merited. My go to response is denial and defence. But I am getting better and quicker at getting to reflection and learning. Maybe an apology, maybe some discussion about how it could be different. I'm not sure anyone really appreciates criticism if they are being honest and holding the mirror up. But it gives us a chance to improve if we want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't you think most people only want to hear good things though?"

Perhaps, but it helps to have other opinions or viewpoints as well, professionally it works for many, and yet I feel others take things more personally than they need to, particularly if it’s more factual but is taken negatively by the recipient. To truly grow or find happiness I personally think we need to have self understanding and awareness, and I think others have a big part to play in that process sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Constructive criticism, yes indeed, bring it on.

Negatively pushed upon me is often a reflection upon the one pushing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personal criticism is the worst kind - it's difficult to swallow - especially as it's disguised as 'opinion'

But maybe it's just as valid.

Oh I always listen to opinions ... sometimes it's, once or twice, brought about a thinking that has changed things! But personal criticism from a stranger has more to do with their own personal moment more than mine usually so I have found!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if its delivered insensitively i can be quite prickly, if i think its coming from a good place ill consider it. if its just someone venting or being an ass they wont have my attention for long

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

No, I over think it, take it out of context and spiral into a period of self hate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a softie deep down so don't like nasty criticism. But as said above to be a better person we do need listen to constructive criticism.

As Winston Churchill said "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m in x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you know if you can't handle it - or will this be a thread full of people in denial?

I handle criticism well in general.

I assume that I'm never finished learning and criticism is just helping me learn.

I have improved over the years and no one is as critical about me than I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's justified, no problem, but I'm usually the first one to notice that I've fucked up..

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Honestly, it depends where it's coming from and how it's delivered. Also if I'm PMT-ing or not. I'm quite used to people pointing out my flaws by now in all honesty - I think I'm one of those annoying people who must invite it after you get to know me a bit.

So I'd say outwardly I take it fairly well and inwardly I just think "yep, confirmation I'm x, y and z".

Do you OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's constructive, with advice on how to improve, then yes.

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

I get annoyed at the fact their obviously lying, because I'm awesome so what on earth could they criticise me about

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I don't like it I'll be honest. But if it's done in a loving way it can be palatable.

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By *-man24Man
over a year ago

northwest

Nope I can’t but I normally have already Criticised myself so when it comes it’s nothing I don’t already think and yes I’m pessimistic about myself

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I was always careful not to criticise the kids personally, saddens me where I hear parents calling their kids stupid or similar. But if we fuck up , those close to us should be able to tell us and we should listen, just do it constructively, carefully and be sensitive. I have very thick skin , but when it hits a nerve it still hurts, so I can imagine it’s crushing for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From others ... No

From myself ... Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can handle it, it’s life at the end of the day, you will never please everyone you meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I hand criticism, after posting an I it'll flippant comment, I get thinking about if I can..

So firstly it depends on who is delivering the criticisms, do I like them, do I respect them, do I hold anything they have to say with valve and any gravitas. Also do I kniw there right, if I do kniw there right then I'llinitially be defensive, resistant and combative, but will come round in a short time...

Secondly it comes down, which should have been firstly but by the by...how how I travelling internally, if I'm at peace with myself, then yeah criticism is all good...

If I'm not doing well internally and at odds with myself,,which in turn leaves me at odds with the world and society, then no as I'm not in a place to recieve the criticisms..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Honestly, it depends where it's coming from and how it's delivered. Also if I'm PMT-ing or not. I'm quite used to people pointing out my flaws by now in all honesty - I think I'm one of those annoying people who must invite it after you get to know me a bit.

So I'd say outwardly I take it fairly well and inwardly I just think "yep, confirmation I'm x, y and z".

Do you OP? "

Yes PMT plays a big part in how I react to things too

I'm my own worst critic so other people's criticisms of me rarely come as a surprise.

Or are they as important as what I think

But seriously I welcome it - because few of us see our true reflection.

It's interesting.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

I don't need criticism off any 1 .I critise me self enough. But I do take on board wot bein said 2 me .May not like it thou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I'd say outwardly I take it fairly well and inwardly I just think "yep, confirmation I'm x, y and z".

Do you OP?

Yes PMT plays a big part in how I react to things too

I'm my own worst critic so other people's criticisms of me rarely come as a surprise.

Or are they as important as what I think

But seriously I welcome it - because few of us see our true reflection.

It's interesting."

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I'd say outwardly I take it fairly well and inwardly I just think "yep, confirmation I'm x, y and z".

Do you OP?

Yes PMT plays a big part in how I react to things too

I'm my own worst critic so other people's criticisms of me rarely come as a surprise.

Or are they as important as what I think

But seriously I welcome it - because few of us see our true reflection.

It's interesting.

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self "

Deep

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Depends if I feel its justified, and how its given.

If I don’t believe it is accurate or fair then I can get heated about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if I feel its justified, and how its given.

If I don’t believe it is accurate or fair then I can get heated about it."

That’s a no then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that the criticism which stings a little is probably the one we should listen to as its pointing out something about ourselves that we recognise but don't like. I don't take this type well at first but if it comes from someone who knows me then I definitely give it serious thought.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

If it is constructive and reasoned then yes I can, most of the time

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By *rFeelsGoodMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Yes.

I believe that criticism from others is a valuable lens. You can learn a lot about yourself from the content and your own reaction. I get criticised daily as in my role I have to make tough decisions. Almost always, one side loses out. But I listen calmly, assess the fact as they see them and seperate out the emotional reaction.

It's an important aspect of mental toughness.

I see folks who reckon that projecting aggression will 'show who's boss'. All you're doing is exposing the fragility of your ego. Anyone looking to push your buttons in future, now has the remote. And you gave it them.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Avoid saying ‘you always.... or you never...., avoid criticising the person, but say why the actions were wrong and unlike them. Like I’m really angry you left the place a mess last night as you usually make an effort to clean up.... rather than just ‘you never clean up’ or you always leave it to me to clean up

When you get it , ask a few people who know you well if they agree with it , good friends will tell the truth, fake friends will often say things like that’s complete bollocks tell her to get fucked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Avoid saying ‘you always.... or you never...., avoid criticising the person, but say why the actions were wrong and unlike them. Like I’m really angry you left the place a mess last night as you usually make an effort to clean up.... rather than just ‘you never clean up’ or you always leave it to me to clean up

Also a no then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very insightful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely, always use the I message ... it's awesome and works fantastically!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self "

Because our own opinions of ourselves are usually bias

Even when there's no one else around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self

Because our own opinions of ourselves are usually bias

Even when there's no one else around.

Not factual. To reflect and appreciate other peoples opinions irradiates the bias

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Depends who’s doing it and if I agree!!

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then"

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self

Because our own opinions of ourselves are usually bias

Even when there's no one else around.

I think it's easier to look out the window and not in the mirror, if we don't go within we go without..

Without going internally seeing out flaws accepting them and working on them, we can't change those biases we have, or belief systems that we carry about out ourselves, which I found aren't even mine, it's what others has either said to me or instilled in me...for me to change, I.mean change substantially, I've had to look and stare in that mirror and be willing to do to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As well as the content, It also depends who is passing the criticism, is it handled well or clumsily? Is it genuinely meant to help or a cloak for something more unpleasant?

Has someone given you some advice/criticism OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends. Sometimes I do sometimes I just can’t. I am very critical of myself already so..

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m not sure I like your tone young lady.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yes, absolutely. Honest feedback is incredibly hard to come by, and therefore massively valuable. I can't make myself better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It depends who's giving it, what their motive is, if it's fair (in my opinion), warranted or necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now "

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As well as the content, It also depends who is passing the criticism, is it handled well or clumsily? Is it genuinely meant to help or a cloak for something more unpleasant?

Has someone given you some advice/criticism OP?"

Completely the opposite actually.

The people around me are quite self absorbed and I doubt they stop thinking about themselves enough to give me a thought.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends who it comes from

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Depends on the manner in which its given. Sometimes I take things very hard especially professionally. But my employers and staff are becoming gradually more aware of my quirks from ASD and are lovelier by the day.

Personal criticism delivered in a good way I like because it helps me improve. I’m down with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from! "

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"As well as the content, It also depends who is passing the criticism, is it handled well or clumsily? Is it genuinely meant to help or a cloak for something more unpleasant?

Has someone given you some advice/criticism OP?

Completely the opposite actually.

The people around me are quite self absorbed and I doubt they stop thinking about themselves enough to give me a thought.

this is true of most people. Also most people won't criticise you to your face anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment "

Actually the latest research says it from the gut

but a person can be happy in any environment if it's from within

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm more than happy to receive criticism from those close to me, and actively seek it out at times. Also professionally...I used to despise the whole appraisal process, but changing to a manager that used it to correct rather than belittle made me see it for the useful development tool that it is.

But from anyone else? It won't even register. They're entitled to their opinion of me, but I don't really care what it is.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Depends who is critiquing me and whether they are coming from a good place when they do it. And I don’t mean a comfy armchair.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yep definitely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only listen to me anyway

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Only listen to me anyway"

Tru dat

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

"Only listen to me anyway

Tru dat

Oi oi saveloy!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Only listen to me anyway

Tru dat

Oi oi saveloy!

Oi oi bird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As well as the content, It also depends who is passing the criticism, is it handled well or clumsily? Is it genuinely meant to help or a cloak for something more unpleasant?

Has someone given you some advice/criticism OP?

Completely the opposite actually.

The people around me are quite self absorbed and I doubt they stop thinking about themselves enough to give me a thought.

this is true of most people. Also most people won't criticise you to your face anyway"

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Depends if I feel its justified, and how its given.

If I don’t believe it is accurate or fair then I can get heated about it.

That’s a no then. "

If you say so...

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Like water off a duck's back.

Vindictive unsubstantiated criticism always reveals more about the criticisor than their target.

Feedback, sometimes erroneously called constructive criticism, is useful, and enables one to refine one's modus operandi in order to reach an equitable accommodating modus vivendi.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment "

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also most people only criticise to benefit themselves. It's rare they do it to help the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it depends on what it is, whether it’s constructive, who it’s come from, what their motives are, is it positive. Everyone’s got a blind spot, I know what mine is, I can see it in clearly.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self

Because our own opinions of ourselves are usually bias

Even when there's no one else around.

I think it's easier to look out the window and not in the mirror, if we don't go within we go without..

A question for you...

Along the "fake it till you make it" thought path...

I did a course once which recommended standing in front of the mirror... Look yourself in the eye and repeat whatever mantra to yourself... "you are happy... You are good... You are clever.... You are handsome... Whatever....

Any joy or experience with that type of process?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y do you think few see a true reflection of self

Because our own opinions of ourselves are usually bias

Even when there's no one else around.

I think it's easier to look out the window and not in the mirror, if we don't go within we go without..

A question for you...

Along the "fake it till you make it" thought path...

Any joy or experience with that type of process? "

Well I can only comment on what's worked for me, that has been writing the 12 steps, about me, my behaviours, my thought patterns, my relationships with ppl, then reading them out, and actively changing the negative patterns of behaviour and thinking, that I become aware off...

When I use the term 'it's easier to look out the window, than to look in the mirror' I'm referring to the internal, the window being others, the mirror being me...but the internal me, how I feel, how I think, how I behave...

I will say that I'm lucky and have fellowship behind me, and hVe had amazing sponsers, as it happens I'm starting some writing this morning about behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within. "

Its always from within, we cant fix an internal problem with a external source

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within.

Its always from within, we cant fix an internal problem with a external source "

It's harder to do than to say, when you've habitualised over the years, just turning the volume up of whatever the "external source" you choose to counter what's going in inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within.

Its always from within, we cant fix an internal problem with a external source

It's harder to do than to say, when you've habitualised over the years, just turning the volume up of whatever the "external source" you choose to counter what's going in inside."

I'm.fully aware of habit and how hard it is to break a entrenched ingrained behavioural pattern or how we view ourselves, im open about my life as I don't carry any shame, and don't give a toss if I get judged by others for it, I come from a history of a 20 year herion addiction, that I've changed, if I'm honest that's no mean feet, it wasemt just about changing the drug use I had to change everything about me, my thinking, my behaviour, my attitudes, my perception of self and the world, my relationship,

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within.

Its always from within, we cant fix an internal problem with a external source

It's harder to do than to say, when you've habitualised over the years, just turning the volume up of whatever the "external source" you choose to counter what's going in inside.

Which is fucking amazing..

Can't say enough words. When I hear stuff like that makes the demons I'm fighting seem so trivial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a word, no. I am hyper sensitive to the slightest criticism (and think there are some fairly severe esteem issues behind that)

But that said I don't take compliments well, either. Probably for the same reason....

How do you better yourself then

At the moment, with great difficulty and with regular setbacks. It really is one day at a time right now

Why do you need feedback from other people? You've always come across as a decent bloke. Why strive to be 'better'. Just be you.

Enjoy the sunshine and be happy.

Awesome advice ^^ happiness really begins with just you and it's an easier place to grow from!

It doesn't just begin with you, there is research that shows the biggest Influence on happiness, is our environment

I’m a believer that we create our own environment, so ultimately it is from within.

Its always from within, we cant fix an internal problem with a external source

It's harder to do than to say, when you've habitualised over the years, just turning the volume up of whatever the "external source" you choose to counter what's going in inside.

Which is fucking amazing..

Can't say enough words. When I hear stuff like that makes the demons I'm fighting seem so trivial."

Brother its all subjective, my pain is my pain yours is yours,don't allow yourself to trivialise your own stuff, just cuz I was a junkie

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As well as the content, It also depends who is passing the criticism, is it handled well or clumsily? Is it genuinely meant to help or a cloak for something more unpleasant?

Has someone given you some advice/criticism OP?

Completely the opposite actually.

The people around me are quite self absorbed and I doubt they stop thinking about themselves enough to give me a thought.

this is true of most people. Also most people won't criticise you to your face anyway"

Exactly.

Criticism is rarely coming from an honest genuine place to benefit you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things I can't handle:

1) Criticism

2) The Truth

3) Your Love

4) This Jelly

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Any joy or experience with that type of process? "

Kenneth Williams, the actor, comedian, raconteur, wit, etc., was an advocate of the method of self-praise to boost one's self-confidence.

I think the video is available online.

Regrettably he died, possibly by suicide, in 1988 at the age of 62.

An exceptionally intelligent autodidact whose early death was a great loss.

Loads of interviews, etc., online.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Only if its constructive and not used as a opportunity to pick me apart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, your opinion is none of my business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course, I take it as a compliment if someone has the relationship or confidence to be constructively critical of someone. "

I feel the same. Constructive criticism made by someone who genuinely has your best interests at heart and is doing it out of kindness is always most welcome.

Bella.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Constructive criticism made by someone who genuinely has your best interests at heart and is doing it out of kindness is always most welcome.

Bella."

You talk such shit sometimes Bella.

Laure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely

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By *ickJMan
over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

It depends. If it's constructive and aimed to help or to point out something I could do better, then that's OK.

If it's just basically personal insults, then No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This^^

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I can take criticism, used to it now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if it’s constructive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I can dish it too

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