FabSwingers.com forum: Joke off the day

By *riskygaz OP Man
over a year ago

birmingham

A women has sued a hospital stating that after recent treatment her husband had lost interest in sex, the doctor replied all we did was corect his eye sight lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see the Aussies aren't doing very well in the Olympics,

But then: if they could run, they wouldn't have been Australians in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles as passed away." The distressed woman wailed," Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead, " replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes. turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately snifffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$820?" she cried,"$820 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged,"I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $820

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles as passed away." The distressed woman wailed," Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead, " replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes. turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately snifffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$820?" she cried,"$820 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged,"I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $820"

love it

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

They say it's impossible to knock five seconds off your personal best.

But I managed it yesterday watching the ladies beach volleyball and heard the wifes key in the fucking door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of weeks ago I knew nothing about the Olympics, now I can't wait for next year's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" They say it's impossible to knock five seconds off your personal best.

But I managed it yesterday watching the ladies beach volleyball and heard the wifes key in the fucking door.

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By *ecretquestCouple
over a year ago

Merseyside

I have sexdaily...

I mean dyslexia....

Ahh! Fcuk!!

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

" They say it's impossible to knock five seconds off your personal best.

But I managed it yesterday watching the ladies beach volleyball and heard the wifes key in the fucking door.

My ass has never moved so quickly.

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By *ecretquestCouple
over a year ago

Merseyside

My mate told me I was in the guineas world records as 'the most gullible person in the world'...

THE LYING BASTARD....I've just checked..

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

just found a fantastic bargin on ebay , an empty trophy cabinet dirt cheap just have to ship it from australia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took my new puppy for his first shots today, but the poor thing threw up everywhere.

Probably should have started him on something weaker than Sambuca.

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By *edbagioMan
over a year ago

ripon

yorkshire are dominating the olympics

and we still have peter sutcliffe

to come with the hammer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a great idea by the Royal Mail painting all Olympic champions local post boxes Gold....I've always dreamed of depositing something into Jessica Ennis' box...

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

"My mate told me I was in the guineas world records as 'the most gullible person in the world'...

THE LYING BASTARD....I've just checked..

Think they're right you are gullible , it's even a proper word , I've checked in the dictionary ....

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

"just found a fantastic bargin on ebay , an empty trophy cabinet dirt cheap just have to ship it from australia

"
Just looked again it has slight water damage could be tear stains

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By *ecretquestCouple
over a year ago

Merseyside

"My mate told me I was in the guineas world records as 'the most gullible person in the world'...

THE LYING BASTARD....I've just checked..

Think they're right you are gullible , it's even a proper word , I've checked in the dictionary ....

Whoosh!!

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

I shoved some grapes up my girlfriend's arse during kinky sex last night. She didn't scream or anything, just let out a little wine.

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

I phoned the local radio station today. The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."

"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"Feel confident?" he asked. "It's a maths question."

"Well, I've got a degree in maths and teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.

"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Justin Bieber concert and to meet him back stage what is 2+2?"

"7" I replied

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