FabSwingers.com forum: The feeling of dread

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

How do you copy when you have that knotted, sickly feeling deep inside your gut.

Trying to focus on other things but can't sleep or eat and head all over the place

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Focus on the feeling of your breath. The physical sensation, in and out. The dread is there, but it's not your whole experience, just part of it.

If you feel disconnected from the world, try grounding. Focus your energy and look at the things you can sense - the feeling of the clothes against your body, the smell of cut grass, something you can see, something you can hear. Remember you're not just your emotions.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I wish i had an answer , quite frankly I didn't cope , for a fair while.

It took good friends and learning my self worth to snap out of it .

But mainly talking , talking, talking....

To trusted friends

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I had this yesterday. Was hard to work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breathing. Feel the dread. Feel the breath moving over the dread. Slowly in and out. Deep breaths that soften up the dread. Feel them soften it and maybe now you can move the dread or make it smaller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you dreading?

Why are you dreading it?

What practical steps can you take to feel more in control?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hit the gym to take my mind off it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not dismiss how you are feeling. No matter how uncomfortable. Do you know what triggered this? Whatever your feeling, sit with it and try to understand where its from. Once you have found the trigger, accept it, change it or remove it

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If you can identify where the feeling is coming from, then take some time and deal with it as best you can.

If you can’t, then try to ground yourself and understand how and why you’re feeling that way.

A physical representation of emotional turmoil usually means that something needs to be done

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Without going into too much detail, I know the outcome of a certain situation that I can't change, not one bit of it and most of the time I'm ok but then this tidal wave of emotion, fear and dread kicks in and it throws me completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only time will help it go away completely. If it involves another person you just have to go through the phases. Hoping for a different outcome or for them to change their minds will keep that knotted horrible feeling in your chest and your guts. Even if you know the outcome and there’s nothing you can do to change it you’ll still have that horrible feeling. In time it will start to clear.

Making your environment as pleasant as possible will help. Tidy your house and car, then have a bath and wash your hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without going into too much detail, I know the outcome of a certain situation that I can't change, not one bit of it and most of the time I'm ok but then this tidal wave of emotion, fear and dread kicks in and it throws me completely."

I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. If there's nothing you can change then unfortunately its acceptance you will have embrace. This is a natural process and time will heal you. I know its weird to say but embrace this dread, ask for more. The more we embrace problems the quicker they are resolved x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wish i knew.

sending you lots of love OP

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By *C7995XCouple
over a year ago

London

Depends on what’s causing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you can do everything that you can do, that’s in your control you did and everything that’s out of your hands you have to accept, that should hopefully ease it, mental and physical are closely connected, you can feel it even when you block it out.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I run down by the river, far away from other people and listening to my favourite music

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I find talking about things really helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you copy when you have that knotted, sickly feeling deep inside your gut.

Trying to focus on other things but can't sleep or eat and head all over the place

Music.. or a elastic band that I snap on my wrist to take my mind away from the problem for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's a switch off. From contact with people and just riding that emotion out. Letting it take its course, then soothing yourself and carrying on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you dreading?

Why are you dreading it?

What practical steps can you take to feel more in control?"

Breaking it down does help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go stand at the bottom of your garden and scream until your lungs hurt....

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I can't bottle that feeling up or I will pop in an very aggressive way, I am going through the similar atm its out of my control and there is nothing I can do but let the lid off and let some steam out

So I listen to my sad comfort songs and have a quiet cry, not the sobbing type more the tears just roll type and that helps me process a little more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately the only remedy for me on this is time .....

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"How do you copy when you have that knotted, sickly feeling deep inside your gut.

Trying to focus on other things but can't sleep or eat and head all over the place

Get a pillow

Get a bat

Bat meets pillow

Get worn out so can’t think

Rinse repeat

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I can't bottle that feeling up or I will pop in an very aggressive way, I am going through the similar atm its out of my control and there is nothing I can do but let the lid off and let some steam out

So I listen to my sad comfort songs and have a quiet cry, not the sobbing type more the tears just roll type and that helps me process a little more"

I'm sorry you are going through similar emotions.

I've cried that much I don't think I've any tears left.

I hope your situation gets better soon xx

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Zone out from others, if I know what is causing it write a letter to get it out of my system, then finally give myself time to file it away and get back to normal.

Doesn’t work with all situations and sometimes I just face it head on and get it dealt with. Learnt long ago that dwelling on things just makes it worse, so now it’s deal and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what im gonna say is gonna sound shit but being vague about what your going through wont get you the answers you seek...maybe writing it down may unburden you abit and maybe someone is going through the same thing and not just something like it....sorry if it sounds horrible but you seem a decent person and I hope my bluntness helps....xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Zone out from others, if I know what is causing it write a letter to get it out of my system, then finally give myself time to file it away and get back to normal.

Doesn’t work with all situations and sometimes I just face it head on and get it dealt with. Learnt long ago that dwelling on things just makes it worse, so now it’s deal and move on. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you copy when you have that knotted, sickly feeling deep inside your gut.

Trying to focus on other things but can't sleep or eat and head all over the place

I learned a trick years ago that’s helped me in these times.

Can you change the outcome of the situation?

No? Then what good is chewing yourself up going to do? Focus on the preparing for the situation as best you can.

Yes? Then focus on putting your energy into making the right changes. Or if you don’t want to do that then see the former option.

It’s simple and relies on you being able to step back from things to see them as objectively as possible, but in-time it can really help I’ve found.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The mind going into overdrive keeping you awake.

Place a radio away from you in the room at a volume that you just can hear. Tune it to a talk radio station.

Now lay down flat and let your brain try and workout the voices and what is being said

What you are doing is using the stored energy and the brain is trying hard to listen so all other activities are suspended like thinking about other things.

Relax, listen and in time you will drop off to sleep.

A white noise machine away from the bed does the same function

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you copy when you have that knotted, sickly feeling deep inside your gut.

Trying to focus on other things but can't sleep or eat and head all over the place

I learned a trick years ago that’s helped me in these times.

Can you change the outcome of the situation?

No? Then what good is chewing yourself up going to do? Focus on the preparing for the situation as best you can.

Yes? Then focus on putting your energy into making the right changes. Or if you don’t want to do that then see the former option.

It’s simple and relies on you being able to step back from things to see them as objectively as possible, but in-time it can really help I’ve found.

This... And then stop yourself endlessly ruminating... A rubber band works because you make the connection in your brain. Tell yourself to stop it. Clear mind. Start again (and over and over as much as you need)

Think about living in the moment - everyday set yourself a challenge to write 5 positive things. Look back at them

When you feel the hopelessness invading, allow yourself to connect to the emotion and acknowledge your feelings... Then imagine you are comforting a friend in a similar position - say those words out loud to yourself /give yourself a hug. Be kind to yourself

Breathe, go for a walk

Rinse, repeat

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

I like to find a quiet spot get comfy with a coffee and listen to some music. Or if I'm feeling more energetic a bike ride helps me to forget.

Sending hugs and I hope things improve for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking our dog gets me through just about everything . For a couple of hours I forget about all my problems , laugh at our daft dog and come home feeling better for it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m dealing with something very similar it’s hard. I’m trying mindfulness x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distraction. Keeping busy.

Silent screaming and crying when alone. Xxxx

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I tend to compartmentalise things like that, especially if there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes it can leave me feeling a little numb though

LvM

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Distraction. Keeping busy.

Silent screaming and crying when alone. Xxxx"

Done all that many times

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

As others have said, keep busy and try distraction.

If not, let yourself have a time alone to feel whatever feelings you have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distraction. Keeping busy.

Silent screaming and crying when alone. Xxxx

Done all that many times

Same. Got to kind of resign yourself to it or you'll totally lose it.

Try and find any kind of back up plan, depending on what the issue is. The slightest, tiniest positive and cling to that.

Park the horror emotions in a corner of your brain and let them out when you're alone.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I don't do anything. I roll with it until the dreadful thing has been dealt with.

If it turns into panic I have medication I can fall back on.

That's a last resort though.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

So I listen to my sad comfort songs and have a quiet cry, not the sobbing type more the tears just roll type and that helps me process a little more

I'm sorry you are going through similar emotions.

I've cried that much I don't think I've any tears left.

I hope your situation gets better soon xx"

Thank you Sparkle x

I don't know if your situation can get better soon, but I hope it does x

Have a google of shadow grief, its about grieving the loss of what could of been, its helping me process and pick apart my anger at what's going to come x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thanks to all for your advice. I know I've not put the full story of what's going on but your inputs have been great to read.

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