FabSwingers.com forum: Comfort Zone

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

So tell me, do you stay in your comfort zone and secretly wish you were more 'out there' like others in the forum? Do you like to test yourself and step out of it a little, and does it give you a rush of adrenalin? Or are you happy in your comfort zone, no intentions of pushing yourself?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Well done you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congrats for stepping out.

I was brave today and added a face photo. I normally like to stay within my comfort zone though hidden

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

Funny, I don’t recall getting a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like a bit of a risk! I enjoy stepping out of a comfort zone and being gently encouraged to do so. It brings me often to a very excitable point

Well done you for taking that step. I did a similar thread recently btw

I'll try to find a link and send it to you later.. for additional musings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of staying in 'comfort zone' and 'stepping out' slowly. Yes I do get that rush of adrenaline but for me that's not a good thing and I need to go forward two steps and back one. No I don't wish I was always 'out there'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Congrats for stepping out.

I was brave today and added a face photo. I normally like to stay within my comfort zone though hidden

Thank you

Well done on the pic. I added one a while back xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do like a bit of a risk! I enjoy stepping out of a comfort zone and being gently encouraged to do so. It brings me often to a very excitable point

Well done you for taking that step. I did a similar thread recently btw

I'll try to find a link and send it to you later.. for additional musings. "

I like the excitement too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll wade into a forum post head first without a care in the world.

Pressing the button to send that first message to someone that caught my eye? That ties me up in knots for days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to push myself it makes me nervous but the adrenaline takes over!

Oh boy has it paid off too

Her x

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

As you know OP I have started to step outside my comfort zone a little, and feeling a lot better for it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Most of my friendships and meets where I initiated the message, it was on the basis of something else. An interaction on the forum, wanting to express sympathy over something, and it developed from there. I'm happy with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you did a good thing.

Rarely do others compliment each other and the fact they are a stranger makes that more nervous to do.

More power to you. The happiness and joy you gave the recipient is underestimated. They could of been having a bad time of it and you changed that.

It's good to know nice people exist here and I'm adding you to that list

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Congratulations

One person's comfort zone is another's prohibited / danger zone. Some are comfortable with little exposure, some with far more.

I suppose pushing your comfort zone is akin to pushing your boundaries?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most of my friendships and meets where I initiated the message, it was on the basis of something else. An interaction on the forum, wanting to express sympathy over something, and it developed from there. I'm happy with that."

That was my usual way. I'd find a way to talk about anything but the fact I thought they were hot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll wade into a forum post head first without a care in the world.

Pressing the button to send that first message to someone that caught my eye? That ties me up in knots for days

It used to with me but I chatted to someone who explained it will just lift their day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like to push myself it makes me nervous but the adrenaline takes over!

Oh boy has it paid off too

Her x"

Sounds interesting

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

That was my usual way. I'd find a way to talk about anything but the fact I thought they were hot

I bumble in obliviously. I remember one person I messaged, I literally just wanted to show solidarity, they weren't on my radar before that. And then I looked

I'm much more interested in the conversation, usually.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

What was the outcome OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you did a good thing.

Rarely do others compliment each other and the fact they are a stranger makes that more nervous to do.

More power to you. The happiness and joy you gave the recipient is underestimated. They could of been having a bad time of it and you changed that.

It's good to know nice people exist here and I'm adding you to that list"

I think it's more my own confidence that stood in the way. I knew I wanted to.

There's still a lot of ladies I really admire in here but that feels strangely harder to do. I'd love to message and say that I love their posts but then I think nahhh, it'll look odd

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What was the outcome OP?"

I got a lovely message back saying thank you

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think you did a good thing.

Rarely do others compliment each other and the fact they are a stranger makes that more nervous to do.

More power to you. The happiness and joy you gave the recipient is underestimated. They could of been having a bad time of it and you changed that.

It's good to know nice people exist here and I'm adding you to that list

I think it's more my own confidence that stood in the way. I knew I wanted to.

There's still a lot of ladies I really admire in here but that feels strangely harder to do. I'd love to message and say that I love their posts but then I think nahhh, it'll look odd

Do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll wade into a forum post head first without a care in the world.

Pressing the button to send that first message to someone that caught my eye? That ties me up in knots for days

It used to with me but I chatted to someone who explained it will just lift their day

I'll bear that in mind. Can't keep my mind from the circling skies though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to push myself it makes me nervous but the adrenaline takes over!

Oh boy has it paid off too

Her x

Sounds interesting

One, being tied down and 3 people's hands in different places on my body... You can imagine why I didn't regret that and glad I pushed myself

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you did a good thing.

Rarely do others compliment each other and the fact they are a stranger makes that more nervous to do.

More power to you. The happiness and joy you gave the recipient is underestimated. They could of been having a bad time of it and you changed that.

It's good to know nice people exist here and I'm adding you to that list

I think it's more my own confidence that stood in the way. I knew I wanted to.

There's still a lot of ladies I really admire in here but that feels strangely harder to do. I'd love to message and say that I love their posts but then I think nahhh, it'll look odd

Aw, I personally wouldn't see this as odd if I received a message like that

Her x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you did a good thing.

Rarely do others compliment each other and the fact they are a stranger makes that more nervous to do.

More power to you. The happiness and joy you gave the recipient is underestimated. They could of been having a bad time of it and you changed that.

It's good to know nice people exist here and I'm adding you to that list

I think it's more my own confidence that stood in the way. I knew I wanted to.

There's still a lot of ladies I really admire in here but that feels strangely harder to do. I'd love to message and say that I love their posts but then I think nahhh, it'll look odd

Aw, I personally wouldn't see this as odd if I received a message like that

Her x"

I know, I'd love it too, which justifies sending them xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being here is out of my comfort zone. Having my photos up is far out of my comfort zone. Sending someone a message is too far out of my comfort zone as yet. One step at a time.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Hmm. It's an odd one. I'm comfortable messaging people to say I think their posts are brilliant because I'm comfortable with words. With my own epic lexicon and my quips and my waffling skills.

I wouldn't message and say something like "oh you're really sexy" because they might think what a tool, she's not sexy in the slightest, how awkward.

I'm quite lucky in that I have supportive friends who encourage me to take baby steps out of my comfort zone when I'm coasting and doing so would be beneficial for me. I get such a rush doing something I wouldn't normally do to be honest, even my avatar is out of character and that's sadly, very sadly, exciting for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Being here is out of my comfort zone. Having my photos up is far out of my comfort zone. Sending someone a message is too far out of my comfort zone as yet. One step at a time."

I can remember all that well. Everyone here has at some point xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Being here is out of my comfort zone. Having my photos up is far out of my comfort zone. Sending someone a message is too far out of my comfort zone as yet. One step at a time.

I can remember all that well. Everyone here has at some point xx"

Yup. It's all a journey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmm. It's an odd one. I'm comfortable messaging people to say I think their posts are brilliant because I'm comfortable with words. With my own epic lexicon and my quips and my waffling skills.

I wouldn't message and say something like "oh you're really sexy" because they might think what a tool, she's not sexy in the slightest, how awkward.

Nothing sad about feeling that way. I had a rush of endorphins this morning just from saying someone's smile was gorgeous

And FTR, I can't see why anyone would ever think you're a tool or not find you sexy. Even if they didn't, you'd have given them such a compliment that it would have lifted their day xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life I'd barely give a second thought to a new experience or adventure unless it was something I actively disliked.

On Fab I guess I'm in my comfort zone. I think about messaging people whose posts or profiles I've enjoyed but rarely do - unless we've had a Forum interaction I just assume it will be an unwelcome intrusion, especially for women.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"What was the outcome OP?

I got a lovely message back saying thank you

Whoot!!!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Every now and again, if I'm feeling brave.

I will often reach out to people in here if they're having a bad time of it, or send them a random compliment.

It's nice to be nice

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

Nope. I’m too shy and scared of rejection.

For some reason, no one ever believes me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In real life I'd barely give a second thought to a new experience or adventure unless it was something I actively disliked.

I think that way too, it's almost as bad as before the internet where you'd walk up to a stranger and talk about something. I couldn't do that either - unless I'd had two bottles of moscow mule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done OP

Sometimes I'm more than happy in my little zone of comfort.

Other times I'll push my own boundaries and step outside it.. completely depends on my mood

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Every now and again, if I'm feeling brave.

I will often reach out to people in here if they're having a bad time of it, or send them a random compliment.

It's nice to be nice

It is! And I'm getting that now xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

Nope. I’m too shy and scared of rejection.

For some reason, no one ever believes me lol"

I did smile when I read this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

Nope. I’m too shy and scared of rejection.

For some reason, no one ever believes me lol

I did smile when I read this

See what I mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t come out my comfort zone my age could kill me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

...

I have stories about 97 year olds and comfort zones. Mostly giving me a fucking heart attack. No you can't do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What was the outcome OP?

I got a lovely message back saying thank you

. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done OP

Sometimes I'm more than happy in my little zone of comfort.

Other times I'll push my own boundaries and step outside it.. completely depends on my mood

Px "

Ok, stepping out of it now (even worse in public!)

You are just such a great person in here and I have real hair envy

But yeah, most of the time I'm well within my comfort zone. I don't think I feel intimidated but more of the should I/shouldn't I thing and then the latter usually wins x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

...

I have stories about 97 year olds and comfort zones. Mostly giving me a fucking heart attack. No you can't do that

By the time I'm 97 I'll probably think "why not,?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can’t come out my comfort zone my age could kill me

Give over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s strange to hear the people I wouldn’t dare message say that they suffer the same shyness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

...

I have stories about 97 year olds and comfort zones. Mostly giving me a fucking heart attack. No you can't do that

By the time I'm 97 I'll probably think "why not,?"

I've just messaged that to someone, let's just grow old disgracefully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well don to you

I work with lots of girls as a fashion photographer so I could understand

Also I know lots lots of streng peopleo on this website

Even I get let's of junk mail

Power .posetjve energy

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

...

I have stories about 97 year olds and comfort zones. Mostly giving me a fucking heart attack. No you can't do that

By the time I'm 97 I'll probably think "why not,?"

Oh for sure but I'm thinking about risk assessments. That's why bloody not

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I rarely leave my comfort zone. I think I may regret it when I'm 97

...

I have stories about 97 year olds and comfort zones. Mostly giving me a fucking heart attack. No you can't do that

By the time I'm 97 I'll probably think "why not,?"

Oh for sure but I'm thinking about risk assessments. That's why bloody not

ROFL. At 97 everything is a risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coming back here is almost out of my comfort zone.

Im chatting to a delightful woman who has different ideas for play time that are out of my comfort zone too.

I do like to push my own boundaries tho.

I will be dead long enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Coming back here is almost out of my comfort zone.

Im chatting to a delightful woman who has different ideas for play time that are out of my comfort zone too.

I do like to push my own boundaries tho.

I will be dead long enough"

This is true. A little boundary pushing - within limits - can be fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I flit between comfort zone and not on here to be fair.

As I started to get used to the site and chatting to a few sound people, I 100% got more confident in stepping out a bit... but like most people I had a couple of weird chats / experiences so retreated back into the old habit of messaging less, less time on the forum, pics back on private etc. I guess its cyclical.

I also like to send an occasional message to people where I either appreciate their photos, or their humour on the forum etc, just to let them know they seem sound / look great... no expectation as they are miles away, or looking for different things, but sometimes its nice just to be nice! You never know when people feel a bit rubbish and, if they read the message, it might just be a pick me up at the right time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I flit between comfort zone and not on here to be fair.

Your last point is exactly why I've changed my mind on it. It doesn't matter that nothing happens, it is just that feel good feeling it can give someone.

In fact, might go through my hotlist and send a few smiles

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I get such a rush doing something I wouldn't normally do to be honest, even my avatar is out of character and that's sadly, very sadly, exciting for me.

Nothing sad about feeling that way. I had a rush of endorphins this morning just from saying someone's smile was gorgeous

And FTR, I can't see why anyone would ever think you're a tool or not find you sexy. Even if they didn't, you'd have given them such a compliment that it would have lifted their day xx "

Aww PG you lovely woman. It ties in with my fear of rejection quite neatly doesn't it?

Maybe framing it as saying something nice is just that - well intentioned and will give others a boost will help me do so more. Thank you OP, x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get such a rush doing something I wouldn't normally do to be honest, even my avatar is out of character and that's sadly, very sadly, exciting for me.

Nothing sad about feeling that way. I had a rush of endorphins this morning just from saying someone's smile was gorgeous

And FTR, I can't see why anyone would ever think you're a tool or not find you sexy. Even if they didn't, you'd have given them such a compliment that it would have lifted their day xx

Aww PG you lovely woman. It ties in with my fear of rejection quite neatly doesn't it?

Maybe framing it as saying something nice is just that - well intentioned and will give others a boost will help me do so more. Thank you OP, x"

You're ace, just believe it

xxx

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

To hell with comfort zones, I love excitement and new adventures...my thought process is always "what's the worst that could happen?" On here, the answer to that is usually either rejection or someone thinks I'm a bit of a knobber - meh! It's not like either of those have never happened before (shrug). For other things where the stakes are higher? Calculated risks.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Personally I find a comfort zone restricting almost like closing of an element of your personality or being for fear of a reaction from society or a person which I think leads to self doubt more so than perhaps rejection would.

Whilst I appreciate some people have a personality which by default means they crave attention/wish to be liked by everyone it’s ultimately holding something back thus being untrue to yourself in exchange for validation of some kind.

I believe in taking a leap of faith worst that could happen is you fail, get back up and dust yourself off...even if that process takes time you will feel better for it X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wanted to copy you both into this reply but its not possible on here.

Seriously, I applaud you. I'm in awe of those who just throw caution to the wind and do things. It does hold me back and I'm working on that bit. You're totally right, what's the worst that could happen? I guess for me it would be that I love being part of the forums and I'd just feel awkward. I'm all for a peaceful and easy life! I now sound like a bit of a coward!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can vary day to day for me.. some days im quite happy in my own little bubble firmly in the comfort zone. Other days, I'm more open to pushing myself.

I'm naturally an introverted person so I guess most days I am stepping out my comfort zone to some extent

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

I find it a huge challenge getting in touch with people online. I do have a bit of social anxiety myself sk I do come across as a bit stilted. Strangely I am more relaxed face to face.

Well done you for challenging yourself because it's so bloody hard to do.

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

"So to follow on from a follow up thread (hope you're keeping up here) I've recently come out of my comfort zone and sent a message to someone saying that they looked lovely.

I would have never done that before due to my own insecurity and not wanting to look like a nob!

Well done for taking that step.

Personally I kind of feel this whole sit/community is all about stepping out of comfort zones and finding your true self

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"I wanted to copy you both into this reply but its not possible on here.

You're not a coward at all, we just all have different personality traits...I'm positive that there will be aspects of you that I wish I could be more like

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wanted to copy you both into this reply but its not possible on here.

You're not a coward at all, we just all have different personality traits...I'm positive that there will be aspects of you that I wish I could be more like

The verbal diarrhoea on threads aspect?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Helping people out of their comfort zones is what we do.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe, but that feeling tends to be based on familiarity and not much else.

Therefore the more you do something, your comfort zone will increase to include that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Helping people out of their comfort zones is what we do.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe, but that feeling tends to be based on familiarity and not much else.

Therefore the more you do something, your comfort zone will increase to include that."

I'm starting to feel that now. I'm willing to throw a bit of caution to the wind. Who knows what might happen

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