FabSwingers.com forum: Am I your cup of tea

By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Attraction is a strange thing, as I get older I do find myself becoming more of a sapiophile, and looking for more of a mental connection to a playmate, after all it's said that the brain is the best sex organ a person can possess.

Physical attraction aside, what draws you to someone to select as a playmate, fuck buddy, partner or whatever you want to call it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What I consider to be good looks and a sense of humour

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can't put physical attraction aside it's very important to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

Yeah there will always be times when you see a profile and the pictures are just so good, you have to have a peep but when I read a thoughtful and insightful post, I'm immediately intrigued by that person.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Whos on your hotlist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Whos on your hotlist

It's empty right now *this might be a fib*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m new to this. I’ve never had sex outside of a long term relationship, which started as a friendship. I don’t know yet what would attract me for ‘fun’ sex. I’m still finding my feet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Not at all I like that! I love chatting

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

"
But I still love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

But I still love you

You know that sinking feeling when you read back your post but it's too late to delete

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

But I still love you

You know that sinking feeling when you read back your post but it's too late to delete

"
all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Such arrogance Pinocchio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive are two very different things for me. Finding someone attractive is based on looks alone.

I'm mostly attracted to humour. Banter, sarcasm and the ability to have a laugh with someone makes them a good playmate for me. You can have the best looks in the world but if you have a personality of a wardrobe.. not for me

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

For me personally ....

A bubbly fun personality, perhaps a tad kooky , a devious and perverted mind . And someone who doesn't expect exclusivity as that's not happening, ever

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive are two very different things for me. Finding someone attractive is based on looks alone.

So true x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A connection or a dynamic is most important for me.

How they talk and how they think is much more important than how they look.

But as I'm thinking about this, maybe I disregard women who I don't find attractive or women who don't match my "type"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I fancy them? That would help me being attracted to anyone for sex. And that covers everything about them, not just their intelligence score.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I’ve found myself increasingly attracted to people with wit and a generally fun outlook on life, as well as intelligence and compassion... you may look incredible with a perfect body, but if there’s not much going on in your head or you’re incredibly dull, you’re not for me....

Not that anyone with a perfect body has shown any interest in me ever....

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I have to find their face attractive.

Then it's what comes out of their mouths.

They have to want me, not just my mouth and vagina.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I’ve found myself increasingly attracted to people with wit and a generally fun outlook on life, as well as intelligence and compassion... you may look incredible with a perfect body, but if there’s not much going on in your head or you’re incredibly dull, you’re not for me....

Not that anyone with a perfect body has shown any interest in me ever...."

That's not what you told me the other week

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Looks are important to me, and I'd never compromise on physical attraction...but aside from that I look for intelligence and an attitude of fun and not taking themselves or this thing called life too seriously. If they can follow my random conversations and share my dark sense of humour then we're going to be friends

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I like a partner in crime with whom we can get up to stuff

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I attracted to a person's looks first, it's what grabs my attention first. If I was a true sapiophile then gender, looks etc wouldn't matter at all and they do.

Intelligence to me has many guises. I have a PhD but that doesn't necessarily mean I am more intelligent than someone else. What I look for is for someone I can converse with about my interests. But I kinda think that's what everyone wants in a partner.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Not that anyone with a perfect body has shown any interest in me ever....

That's not what you told me the other week

My dear, you have an enquiring mind, a filthy and charming wit and the best outlook on life... you know I would

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By *oxy lady40Woman
over a year ago

bridgwater

Physical attraction is a must and also someone you can communicate with in and out of the bedroom

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By *gent Coulson OP Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

"I attracted to a person's looks first, it's what grabs my attention first. If I was a true sapiophile then gender, looks etc wouldn't matter at all and they do.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I attracted to a person's looks first, it's what grabs my attention first. If I was a true sapiophile then gender, looks etc wouldn't matter at all and they do.

I don't particularly think so necessarily. One of best mates doesn't even have a GCSE in my field of expertise. But she will talk to me about my work get excited for me about. Even though she really doesn't have a clue. And I love her dearly for it. To me it's about taking an interest in someone and enjoying their company.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Not that anyone with a perfect body has shown any interest in me ever....

That's not what you told me the other week

My dear, you have an enquiring mind, a filthy and charming wit and the best outlook on life... you know I would

But no perfect body I'm devastated going to go cry I to my cup of tea

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Good chat and a sense of humour without a doubt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Define “intelligence.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

But I still love you

You know that sinking feeling when you read back your post but it's too late to delete

Don’t read back your post. That’s my secret. Out of sight, out of mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Define “intelligence.”

See, this is where I dropped the clanger

Ok, maybe what I meant to say is someone who has interesting (to me) points to make and not just text speak or one word answers. They can articulate what they mean.

I don't think that's improved my answer in any way, shape or form

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical attraction is usually my initial attraction, so I wont be putting that aside.

Face first.

Then itelligence, wit, common ground, similar likes sexually, after that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive are two very different things for me. Finding someone attractive is based on looks alone.

Funnily enough, I find my wardrobe interesting; how smoothly the door slides, the arrangements of the drawers.....but I get your point and largely agree with it...apart from the wardrobe but, obviously. That’s just being a wardrophobe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Physical attraction is usually my initial attraction, so I wont be putting that aside.

Face first.

Then itelligence, wit, common ground, similar likes sexually, after that x"

Second all of this

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me personally ....

A bubbly fun personality, perhaps a tad kooky , a devious and perverted mind . And someone who doesn't expect exclusivity as that's not happening, ever

Soooo.....you’re exclusively non-exclusive then? Does that make you exclusively inclusive?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Attraction does shift and change as we get older, it’s often the result of experiences or the changes in our psychology.

I’ve found that my attraction has shifted but I still need to be physically attracted primarily. How that physical attraction is quantified has changed though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had sex with many people who others would not consider 'attractive', and it was absolutely the best sex. Thankfully they fuck unattractive people with no personality too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've contemplated this over many iterations of my profile and my various times on and off fab.

For me, it boils down to two things.

Can we hold and maintain a conversation?

Does she seem genuinely attracted to me in whatever way?

I've been lucky that all my meets have been lovely ladies who are genuinely attractive. But when you are inches away from someone, pulses racing and completely oblivious to the outside world, at that moment they are the most attractive person on the planet.

Yes, there are some peeps I find visually appealing, but attraction has to be mutual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Not a clanger. I found myself nodding along as I read your post.

A post on the forum, a message or the 'about me' profile bit is more likely to make me interested in someone if it intrigues me in some way than photos and 'skills'.

It is probably age and having more idea of what I do or don't want.

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Whos on your hotlist

You are now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive are two very different things for me. Finding someone attractive is based on looks alone.

Disclaimer: This statement is a personal preference, this is not an attack on wardrobes or any other furniture. No wardrobes were harmed in the making of this post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself making connections with people I can communicate well with.

I don't think it's age that has done that, I've always been attracted to intelligent conversation.

If they look good as well, then they definitely go on my hotlist

Well that’s good to know x

Yeah I've probably just eliminated so many in one clean sweep by coming across as an arrogant nob only attracted to intelligence

Ffs, I post some real clangers at times

Define “intelligence.”

See, this is where I dropped the clanger

Ok, maybe what I meant to say is someone who has interesting (to me) points to make and not just text speak or one word answers. They can articulate what they mean.

I don't think that's improved my answer in any way, shape or form

I can type more than one word answers and don’t even know how to use text speak. Nooow, the last point about interesting points to make...? Sorry, what was my point here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive are two very different things for me. Finding someone attractive is based on looks alone.

Disclaimer: This statement is a personal preference, this is not an attack on wardrobes or any other furniture. No wardrobes were harmed in the making of this post."

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"For me personally ....

A bubbly fun personality, perhaps a tad kooky , a devious and perverted mind . And someone who doesn't expect exclusivity as that's not happening, ever

Soooo.....you’re exclusively non-exclusive then? Does that make you exclusively inclusive?

Haha kind of yes!! I'm all for affection and hugs ( I love it ) but no way am I doing the one woman for life sexually scenario

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"For me personally ....

A bubbly fun personality, perhaps a tad kooky , a devious and perverted mind . And someone who doesn't expect exclusivity as that's not happening, ever

Soooo.....you’re exclusively non-exclusive then? Does that make you exclusively inclusive?

Haha kind of yes!! I'm all for affection and hugs ( I love it ) but no way am I doing the one woman for life sexually scenario

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I seek an attraction with his face and the spark of when I look forward to his next message.

The rest comes along naturally but if those two things aren't there initially then then I wouldn't invest in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must say it's something different every time now I thought about this...

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I need that first inital attraction as that what gets my attention.

I like someone who is down to earth and who can make me laugh my head off. Someone who is so laid back that they are almost horizontal x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"For me personally ....

A bubbly fun personality, perhaps a tad kooky , a devious and perverted mind . And someone who doesn't expect exclusivity as that's not happening, ever

Soooo.....you’re exclusively non-exclusive then? Does that make you exclusively inclusive?

Haha kind of yes!! I'm all for affection and hugs ( I love it ) but no way am I doing the one woman for life sexually scenario

Haha I missed this

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