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"Every person's view is valid to the poster when they type." Do you mean that the view of "your interest in this subject is invalid" is a meaningful contribution? | |||
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"I think that in many cases "This isn't an issue" or "We shouldn't be talking about this" with reasoning is still a valid opinion on the subject under discussion. Saying people shouldn't say that seems like a double standard to me. " Well what's an example away from sex..? Is a discussion on which vaccine you'd prefer to have a valid place to say that COVID-19 is a scam? I'd suggest not. Conversations have their starting premises, which seem reasonable to need to work within. | |||
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"Every person's view is valid to the poster when they type. Do you mean that the view of "your interest in this subject is invalid" is a meaningful contribution?" To the person posting it is. Once you open a thread, you can't demand all positive and like minded responses. | |||
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" How you broke my heart ... I now have the peskie song in my head , thank you OP " Saame I think it depends - sometimes it's useful, sometimes it's detailing. | |||
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" How you broke my heart ... I now have the peskie song in my head , thank you OP Saame I think it depends - sometimes it's useful, sometimes it's detailing." Derailing | |||
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"Sometimes though, in the opinion of the person saying it, blocking or ignoring is the best thing for the person to do for their own sake. So in some ways it is part of the discussion. There are a lot of people who become very frustrated by things they can't change and I think on some cases it's a way of pointing that out." Yes, I see that angle, although I suppose it's down to the replier to get that perspective across as an encouragment rather than a dismissal? | |||
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" How you broke my heart ... I now have the peskie song in my head , thank you OP Saame " What can I say except "You're Welcome"? " I think it depends - sometimes it's useful, sometimes it's detailing." I suppose so, maybe it's too fine a detail to make black and white. | |||
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"Sometimes though, in the opinion of the person saying it, blocking or ignoring is the best thing for the person to do for their own sake. So in some ways it is part of the discussion. There are a lot of people who become very frustrated by things they can't change and I think on some cases it's a way of pointing that out. Yes, I see that angle, although I suppose it's down to the replier to get that perspective across as an encouragment rather than a dismissal?" Yeah, I see that. Having your legitimate concern dismissed is pretty galling. | |||
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"5 years ago I was a clam. I shared no personal information while at the same time I was known as a great conversationalist and an excellent listener. Basically I asked a lot of questions and made the conversation all about you so you wouldn't know I wasn't telling you fuck all about me. Now I am post therapy. I overshare. And its horrible. Being vulnerable and exposed can be like waiting for someone to slide a knife into your side. You know the pain is coming and there is nothing you can do about it except wait. So I can understand why people don't want to get into some topics. Vulnerability is best shared with people you trust. " Do you think the therapy made you want to talk about yourself more? Floodgates opened? Asking people about themselves is a great way to avoid questions about yourself. Distraction. | |||
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"5 years ago I was a clam. I shared no personal information while at the same time I was known as a great conversationalist and an excellent listener. Basically I asked a lot of questions and made the conversation all about you so you wouldn't know I wasn't telling you fuck all about me. Now I am post therapy. I overshare. And its horrible. Being vulnerable and exposed can be like waiting for someone to slide a knife into your side. You know the pain is coming and there is nothing you can do about it except wait. So I can understand why people don't want to get into some topics. Vulnerability is best shared with people you trust. Do you think the therapy made you want to talk about yourself more? Floodgates opened? Asking people about themselves is a great way to avoid questions about yourself. Distraction. " Yes and no. The shame I felt about what happened to me is lessened. It wasn't my fault. So I can talk about it. And if I can talk about that then I can talk about other things. And it's a slippery slope. The problem is I can throw around triggering concepts and ideas and that is unfair on others. Also therapy is all about me talking about me. It's a healthy habit that can get out of control. Finally if I want you to understand me, I need to let you know me. I can say therapy is good and you can read my words and understand. But if I tell you how much it worked you can understand better. | |||
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"5 years ago I was a clam. I shared no personal information while at the same time I was known as a great conversationalist and an excellent listener. Basically I asked a lot of questions and made the conversation all about you so you wouldn't know I wasn't telling you fuck all about me. Now I am post therapy. I overshare. And its horrible. Being vulnerable and exposed can be like waiting for someone to slide a knife into your side. You know the pain is coming and there is nothing you can do about it except wait. So I can understand why people don't want to get into some topics. Vulnerability is best shared with people you trust. Do you think the therapy made you want to talk about yourself more? Floodgates opened? Asking people about themselves is a great way to avoid questions about yourself. Distraction. Yes and no. The shame I felt about what happened to me is lessened. It wasn't my fault. So I can talk about it. And if I can talk about that then I can talk about other things. And it's a slippery slope. The problem is I can throw around triggering concepts and ideas and that is unfair on others. Also therapy is all about me talking about me. It's a healthy habit that can get out of control. Finally if I want you to understand me, I need to let you know me. I can say therapy is good and you can read my words and understand. But if I tell you how much it worked you can understand better." Mainly positive then. I understand about the triggering others though. Agree that's not fair. | |||
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"Unless you have something constructive to add what’s the point joining in .... attention ? I mean just copying an entire post and saying ‘This’ with nothing to add, is another example in my opinion. It adds nothing new, it’s boring. Even witty replies should make some kind of point " This Only joking. I think there is a positive from just reinforcing someone else's opinion. In a conversation around a table people do this all the time. We reinforce statements made by others by nodding or affirming. This is the fab version of that | |||
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"Unless you have something constructive to add what’s the point joining in .... attention ? I mean just copying an entire post and saying ‘This’ with nothing to add, is another example in my opinion. It adds nothing new, it’s boring. Even witty replies should make some kind of point This Only joking. I think there is a positive from just reinforcing someone else's opinion. In a conversation around a table people do this all the time. We reinforce statements made by others by nodding or affirming. This is the fab version of that " Amen to that. | |||
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"I know this is a bit... meta... or something, but does anyone else get frustrated by the number of discussions people seem intent on shutting down by saying it's pointless talking about it, or it's none of your business? People join forums to discuss things, because they find them interesting. I like discussing how people work, potential motivations, dynamics... helps people see different perspectives on the landscape in this world as with the rest of life. But some people seem intent on denying the validity of conversations outright. "Just scroll on. Just block the profile"... No, people have the right to talk about things they find interesting. If you don't think it's a valid conversation, why not put your words into action and just ignore it? Leave the people who like discussing things to discuss them." Yes, and tbh it annoys me. For example there’s someone in the clubs forum who tries to stir down any discussion of clubs because the clubs aren’t open and probably won’t be for a while. So what? They can still be discussed! Also quite often you see the people who try to shut down the conversation thinking their opinion is the “right” one and no other talk is necessary. Okay | |||
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