FabSwingers.com forum: Peeing in a cup

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

This made me chuckle!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

I was going to ask....

What from here...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Free she wee with every urine sample pot!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

Shewee

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous. "

It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.

I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"

When I was in hospital a couple of months ago, they did actually give me a funnel with the little pot, first time I’ve ever had that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you ask they usually have the little funnel things as well behind the counter so you don't need to aim well ha ha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

My Dr's give you a pack with the test tube in and one of those cone shaped cups. Makes it very easy.

They also have a little shelf in the bowl of thd toilet for you to put the test tube in if doing it there but I don't think that's very sanitary unless you clean it first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was given a little disposable jug last time, with a spout so I could pour the wee into the tube.

It was a revelation not to be covered in piss!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's an art

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

It’s like a syringe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory

When I was in hospital a couple of months ago, they did actually give me a funnel with the little pot, first time I’ve ever had that."

My first ever pee test had that. It just set me up for disappointment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was given a little disposable jug last time, with a spout so I could pour the wee into the tube.

It was a revelation not to be covered in piss!"

Wow that sounds fancy! I doubt the pharmacy would give me all that for 50p though haha. To be fair I would pay extra to not be covered in wee!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you ask they usually have the little funnel things as well behind the counter so you don't need to aim well ha ha "

I'll have to remember this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

. "

Who empties the bowl..?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous.

It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.

I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in

That made me laugh!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

Who empties the bowl..?

The nurse put it in and told me just to go for a wee as normal and tell her when I was done then she went to get it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

You could make pretty patterns on the ground with it, then you could be described as a piss artist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You could make pretty patterns on the ground with it, then you could be described as a piss artist. "

I'd really rather not, but thanks for the suggestion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#shepee

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

. "

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sterilise a big Tupperware tub, pop that in the loo to pee into, then decant into the sample pot. It's a total faff but the easiest way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebedy_XMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"

I always took a plastic cup out and about with the kids on holiday incase they needed to pee and there wasn't a toilet available.

Worked a treat until one night the cup had to be used. I was carrying it about until I could find somewhere to get rid of it.

Just so happens I was holding a pint in my other hand...

I'm sure you can guess what happened next

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

You can pick it up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though...."

I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.

1.6L is impressive!

I've always found doing it in the pot ok. I start peeing first then place the pot under the stream. Trying to hold the pot and guess where the stream of pee is going to be before you start is a recipe for disaster

. Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory

I always took a plastic cup out and about with the kids on holiday incase they needed to pee and there wasn't a toilet available.

Worked a treat until one night the cup had to be used. I was carrying it about until I could find somewhere to get rid of it.

Just so happens I was holding a pint in my other hand...

I'm sure you can guess what happened next

I think I can, but I really don't want to...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....

I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.

1.6L is impressive!

. Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway. "

Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well

Yes samples are indeed supposed to be midstream. They did the whole sample collection piss in a bucket thing after my vag repair surgery too, you have to pass a voiding test before they let you go home! A pissing exam

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

"You could make pretty patterns on the ground with it, then you could be described as a piss artist.

I'd really rather not, but thanks for the suggestion

When we was little boys we used to do that in the snow when we needed to relieve ourselves, but we were too innocent to know what piss artists were back then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....

I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.

1.6L is impressive!

. Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.

Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well

A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality

. You really showed them you could pee for England

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....

I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.

1.6L is impressive!

. Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.

Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well

A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality

. You really showed them you could pee for England

. "

I passed the pissing exam! There were two "papers" and you had to pass the first one before moving on to the second one. The consequence of failure was a catheter back in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

. "

Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

. "

Oh hell, I don't care how intoxicated I am, I also learned that lesson

The pissing equivalent of threading a needle!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

Joking aside, as I've said on my profile, I'm also my mums carer. I have to get urine samples analised fairly regularly to check for infection. I get things like paper mashe hat's from the surgery to catch the full offering, and then pour some into a sample bottle, and away to go dude, laboratory here we come. On those days I'm really taking the piss, quite literally. There's never any question of my mum having to learn the skill of target practice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

Oh hell, I don't care how intoxicated I am, I also learned that lesson

The pissing equivalent of threading a needle! "

Should have shouted bullseye

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"How often does the wee go straight down though? Yeah, the last few drops at the end but if I'm full bladdered I can piss sideways. Like putting my thumb over a hosepipe and hoping for the best

I always lean forwards now after one unfortunate incident where it shot straight through the gap between the toilet seat and the porcelain

Guess what happens to your pee stream when your womb is falling down and squashing your bladder

Exactly!! I had to keep my support thingy out for going on 12 wks and I'd forgotten how shit it was. Back in now, so thankfully not too bad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you get a cup, I seem to be given a teeny tiny little test tube type thing that’s full in about 0.003 seconds and then just loading on my hand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"It's an art

She's a piss artist ^

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancave69Man
over a year ago

London

Wow it sounds like you girls have all the fun??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it's women who are throwing these at all the festivals I've been to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"At least you get a cup, I seem to be given a teeny tiny little test tube type thing that’s full in about 0.003 seconds and then just loading on my hand

That’s what we get given as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"At least you get a cup, I seem to be given a teeny tiny little test tube type thing that’s full in about 0.003 seconds and then just loading on my hand

Nope, we get the teeny test tube and have to aim in it and not let it touch our undercarriage either! Every pregnancy appointment, I was given a test tube type thing...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh ladies, I feel for you, we get a spout and the teeny tiny test tube thing is horrendous enough.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Oh ladies, I feel for you, we get a spout and the teeny tiny test tube thing is horrendous enough.

You become quite skilled at it eventually

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Is it one of those little tube ones?! They’re ridiculous.

It's the standard ones you get from the pharmacy.

I had to clean the outside and the sticker scrubbed off. They're going to think that I have a gale force stream when I hand this in

They could assume that you were a prime candidate for a squirting competition

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So after all that palaver I've only gone and bloody forgotten my cup in the fridge... *facepalm*

Got to the surgery and they've handed me one of the test tube ones, which is even smaller than what I had to work with last night.

What next, a thimble?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Maybe ask for a glove?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"

are you taking the pi$$ lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies ...you think thats hard. Try being a bloke and having to piss into a toilet bowl without getting it all over the seat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"The easiest urine sample I've ever given was one time in the hospital they literally just put a bowl in the toilet

They did that after I gave birth last time. Apparently its not normal to ask for a second one and to excrete 1.6L of urine

I became quite adept at peeing into the tube ones though....

I still don't know why they did that with me rather than just give me a pot. Unless the wanted to see how much I peed or wanted the full sample.

1.6L is impressive!

. Samples are supposed to be midstream anyway.

Turns out my bladder is over stretched. Oh well

A pissing exam you obviously thought required quantity over quality

. You really showed them you could pee for England

. "

Piss easy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Ladies ...you think thats hard. Try being a bloke and having to piss into a toilet bowl without getting it all over the seat

"
try using a toilet that has a commode stand over it... smaller target

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Pee in a measuring jug and decant into the sample jar

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"So after all that palaver I've only gone and bloody forgotten my cup in the fridge... *facepalm*

Got to the surgery and they've handed me one of the test tube ones, which is even smaller than what I had to work with last night.

What next, a thimble?! "

Its do-able Amber! I'm living proof of it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Get some non talc nursey gloves ..pee in them ...get your pot ....nick the end of a finger and piddle it into the pot ...hey .. it's almost as good as having a Willy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Why do they still have to make this so hard for women to do??

#MakeFunnelsCompulsory"

Try peeing into a toilet after 8 pints.

Difficulty rating definitely a 5

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

So I was lied to with beginning of full monty, where those ladies pissed standing up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

If it helps Ladies, I'm more than happy to stand/sit in any suitable position and catch as much as I can in an appropriate receptacle?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread