FabSwingers.com forum: The power of (controversial) words

By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Being a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, it's only just occurred to me that our latest profile pic may be divisive. Seriously, I'm a bit naive at times!

It got me thinking about the power of words, though. I love being called or referring to myself as a slut in a sexual situation - I find it an apt description when I'm in that headspace, fully embracing my hedonistic side and eager for more. On the other hand, I wouldn't welcome it being shouted at me on the street!

There's also the aspect of power balance - me giving that paddle to Mr whilst I'm naked is a very different dynamic than a fab meet suddenly whipping it out.

Muse away, if you like

Mrs kf x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind any word used by anyone. But not necessarily towards me. Sometimes I would use a certain word to describe me, but heard from another person might raise my eyebrows..

Embrace what you enjoy being called. That's the philosophy I would use. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words are indeed a powerful weapon and once said can not be unsaid.

We have to be mindful of the situation, the context, the tone and the intonation used. As what may not affect me one day, may affect me the next day...

Its said that ppl can't make me feel any way through words, I find that no to be true, as certain words can tap I to my trauma, especially childhood and lifes trauma.

Thats my deep musing for a fri morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s all a bit personal. If you like being “degraded” it’s really nobody else’s business to say whether that’s acceptable or not. I think most things only become an issue when others try to force their beliefs on the collective.

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Words are the vehicle to trigger to what lies in the subconscious.

Adam

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The pen is mightier than the sword they say.

Words are very powerful, they can have far reaching consequences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Controversial is a funny word in itself, as whether it's controversial or not depends on the person. Whatever you say in this world someone will always be offended if they deem it inappropriate or offensive. The world's gone PG nuts

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It depends on what's being said, the context, and the purpose.

I think words can confront, can challenge, and can be enormously beneficial in changing mindset.

They can also be the equivalent of a toddler shouting "boobies" in Tesco, because people want a reaction.

I usually weigh my words carefully and refrain from certain categories outside very specific contexts, because I feel no need to shock and offend. (Sort of an extension of, I'd tell a friend that X is fucking annoying, but my grandmother that it was very annoying)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its about context. The meaning and 'power' of words can change depending on who is using to whom,their relationship and where its occuring.

Language is much more than the simplicity of the word.Bidy language, tone etc and The emotional intelligence of the user and receiver are also important. Language and words are fascinating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Body not bidy

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

. "

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl."

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In other news - sorry to briefly hijack the thread - I need to thank Inaswingdress for showing me how to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

Idont.mind you sticking to me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Words have power, which is a difficult thing, seeing as how unwieldy and crude they can be and how poorly they’re used at times.

If they’re taken out of context, then that makes them even harder to be used correctly.

Some words have more power than others and then you have words that have added connotations and are being actively reclaimed, such as the one you’re using.

It really is a minefield and it’s small wonder that text based interactions, shorn of most context, intonation and body language can go awry so often.

Perhaps we should endeavour to be more precise with our language and understand the words that we use.

Communication should come with a users manual, a theory test and a practical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/04/21 09:50:46]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

Idont.mind you sticking to me

. My middle name's Gorilla

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like your profile photo and if you like it even better.

Words are only controversial once they've been loaded with enough negative meaning either on a societal, personal or contextual level.

Someone might be offended by you having a sign saying 'slut' but that is their 'problem' not yours.

Take the word 'cunt'. I love the word because it is earthy and forceful and is a very, very old word of Saxon origin (and there used to be streets called 'Gropecunt Lane' in England). But I like the word for it's own sake devoid of actual meaning.

Others will take offence because they have loaded it with negative meaning along with society but, once, it was just a name for a part of the anatomy.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"In other news - sorry to briefly hijack the thread - I need to thank Inaswingdress for showing me how to

Just don't try to use the word hete

exible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In other news - sorry to briefly hijack the thread - I need to thank Inaswingdress for showing me how to

Just don't try to use the word hete

exible"

Ill see if I can squeeze that in on a thread somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In other news - sorry to briefly hijack the thread - I need to thank Inaswingdress for showing me how to

Just don't try to use the word hete

exible"

You put the r o f l in hete

exible.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Being a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, it's only just occurred to me that our latest profile pic may be divisive. Seriously, I'm a bit naive at times!

There's also the aspect of power balance - me giving that paddle to Mr whilst I'm naked is a very different dynamic than a fab meet suddenly whipping it out.

Muse away, if you like

Mrs kf x"

I call Mrs KC "slut" in the bedroom rather often, usually while we're embracing the dom/sub side. It's part of the fun as we play.

It's not something I'd call her in a day to day setting and it's not a word I'd use with a casual play partner, unless asked for.

It's not something that should cause offence though - you and Mr KF are happy and that's what matters!

Mr KC

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Oh crikey I've gotten into trouble labelling myself as such. Everyone's connotations of a word can vary and have an impact if interpreted differently

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

I suspect this is a childhood related issue, sibling rivalry? Someone being singled out for favour creating a trauma emotional program in the subconscious to switch on when when you hear or read that word. You can fix that, though I suspect you also get a feeling of pleasure from the power, daring people to use the word..

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By *heonixRaven 777Woman
over a year ago

Guildford

"It’s all a bit personal. If you like being “degraded” it’s really nobody else’s business to say whether that’s acceptable or not. I think most things only become an issue when others try to force their beliefs on the collective. "

For me the ‘degraded’ is subjective what is degrading to one person is not necessarily degrading to another.

I actually don’t find the ‘slut’ degrading in the context that the OP has stated, I actually find it an empowering word it is a word that allows me to embrace desires that perhaps I would feel ashamed or guilty for having.

It’s also a word that shows me that the person using it understands me and more importantly accepts me in all my filthy desires.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I love your new picture OP, you're holding your paddle and to me it signifies that it's your choice to be called slut by who you've chosen to wield it.

Words in themselves I don't are contraversial. It's their meaning to different people that is. Like you say my parter can call me slut anyone else would get told off. M can call me slut but he made the mistake of calling me slag once and that didn't go down too well. I think we always need to understand other people's boundaries with regards words. And that your interpretation of them may be different to others

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

I remember my brother and I getting bank statements. He was five, so he went from Master to Mister. Big boy, all grown up.

I was seven. Still "miss"

I'm 35. Still "miss"

Same energy as girl.

Yes, the language around men and women needs work

Maybe we should stop being so sensitive and hysterical and leave it to our natural betters

Us girls must stick together doncha know

I don't think it's an uncommon experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words themselves aren't a problem, it's our feelings towards them that's the issue and that's something we bring on ourselves. We give power to words. Karen used to be just a name until people changed it into an insult. Anchovy, queynte and cunt all mean the same thing but we all know which one is the most offensive. Personally, I can't stand those little fishes, they ruin a good pizza.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Controversial is a funny word in itself, as whether it's controversial or not depends on the person. Whatever you say in this world someone will always be offended if they deem it inappropriate or offensive. The world's gone PG nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are words but thoughts with clothes on.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I hear ya on the photo thing.

I have a collar with slut on it. Does it define me as a whole person? Of course not. Would I be happy with people I don't know calling me it? Get to feck. It was a snapshot of how I felt in that moment and how, if someone gets me, I could feel with them if they hit the right combo.

That's why I think a gallery of allsorts is so important, showing your different sides, and why if someone has a plethora of dick pics and fuck all else, well they're just a dick no matter the angle you view them coz that's all they're telling ya. It does send a message.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

So I know it's nearly 24 hours later, but I just remembered this thread and people have given really interesting contributions so I'm going to reply now. That's just how I roll, I'm a forum renegade!

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Words are indeed a powerful weapon and once said can not be unsaid.

We have to be mindful of the situation, the context, the tone and the intonation used. As what may not affect me one day, may affect me the next day...

Its said that ppl can't make me feel any way through words, I find that no to be true, as certain words can tap I to my trauma, especially childhood and lifes trauma.

Thats my deep musing for a fri morning

Yeah I hate the "sticks and stones" thing. Yes we can control our reactions to others to a certain extent, but some things cut deep. We don't always know what it's going to be until it happens.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I do find this fascinating. I love sexual humiliation and degradation, but in the rest of my life I am a proud feminist. Why the dichotomy?

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I don't agree - I used controversial here in the context of "not acceptable in everyday life" which I don't think slut is. I think more marginalised people are speaking up about what makes them feel uncomfortable. That's not the world going PC mad, to my mind, but becoming more equitable. If I could make someone feel more comfortable by using/not using a particular word or phrase, why wouldn't I do that? Isn't that just being a decent human being?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find this fascinating. I love sexual humiliation and degradation, but in the rest of my life I am a proud feminist. Why the dichotomy? "

The dichotomy, lies in context of the environment

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Take the word "girl'. Not a controversial word in itself. I absolutely detest being called it by men though. I find it patronising and demeaning, it's guaranteed to make me go

. Add "good" in front of it and I'm raging

. "

It's subjective, isn't it? I don't mind girl in a sexual context. Not in a professional one though, I'd get the rage!

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Its about context. The meaning and 'power' of words can change depending on who is using to whom,their relationship and where its occuring.

Language is much more than the simplicity of the word.Bidy language, tone etc and The emotional intelligence of the user and receiver are also important. Language and words are fascinating

Aren't they? Love looking at words

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Words have power, which is a difficult thing, seeing as how unwieldy and crude they can be and how poorly they’re used at times.

If they’re taken out of context, then that makes them even harder to be used correctly.

Some words have more power than others and then you have words that have added connotations and are being actively reclaimed, such as the one you’re using.

It really is a minefield and it’s small wonder that text based interactions, shorn of most context, intonation and body language can go awry so often.

Perhaps we should endeavour to be more precise with our language and understand the words that we use.

Communication should come with a users manual, a theory test and a practical"

Oh Tea, you make me laugh. A test! How would that work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love your new picture OP, you're holding your paddle and to me it signifies that it's your choice to be called slut by who you've chosen to wield it.

Isn’t it funny, how slut is so different to slag. I’m exactly the same.

Op. I love the picture, and I love the word, but not from just anyone.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I like your profile photo and if you like it even better.

Words are only controversial once they've been loaded with enough negative meaning either on a societal, personal or contextual level.

Someone might be offended by you having a sign saying 'slut' but that is their 'problem' not yours.

Others will take offence because they have loaded it with negative meaning along with society but, once, it was just a name for a part of the anatomy."

Of course I like it, or I wouldn't have put it up

I hear you, but I don't think we can extract words from their context. If I go around talking about cunts then say "It's just part of the anatomy! If you're offended, that's your problem not mine!" surely I'm being more than a little disingenuous?

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Being a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, it's only just occurred to me that our latest profile pic may be divisive. Seriously, I'm a bit naive at times!

There's also the aspect of power balance - me giving that paddle to Mr whilst I'm naked is a very different dynamic than a fab meet suddenly whipping it out.

Muse away, if you like

Mrs kf x

I call Mrs KC "slut" in the bedroom rather often, usually while we're embracing the dom/sub side. It's part of the fun as we play.

It's not something I'd call her in a day to day setting and it's not a word I'd use with a casual play partner, unless asked for.

It's not something that should cause offence though - you and Mr KF are happy and that's what matters!

Mr KC"

This sounds very similar to us

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Oh crikey I've gotten into trouble labelling myself as such. Everyone's connotations of a word can vary and have an impact if interpreted differently

Got into trouble on here?

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

For me the ‘degraded’ is subjective what is degrading to one person is not necessarily degrading to another.

It’s also a word that shows me that the person using it understands me and more importantly accepts me in all my filthy desires.

Oh, I like this perspective! Interesting slant.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I love your new picture OP, you're holding your paddle and to me it signifies that it's your choice to be called slut by who you've chosen to wield it.

Isn’t it funny, how slut is so different to slag. I’m exactly the same.

Op. I love the picture, and I love the word, but not from just anyone. "

Thirded! Slag makes me think of crappy cockney gangster stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love your new picture OP, you're holding your paddle and to me it signifies that it's your choice to be called slut by who you've chosen to wield it.

Isn’t it funny, how slut is so different to slag. I’m exactly the same.

Op. I love the picture, and I love the word, but not from just anyone.

Thirded! Slag makes me think of crappy cockney gangster stuff. "

Haha! Or school days when boys were being horrible.

I also hate being called bitch, but slut and whore, I love, from a certain person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like your profile photo and if you like it even better.

Words are only controversial once they've been loaded with enough negative meaning either on a societal, personal or contextual level.

Someone might be offended by you having a sign saying 'slut' but that is their 'problem' not yours.

Others will take offence because they have loaded it with negative meaning along with society but, once, it was just a name for a part of the anatomy.

Of course I like it, or I wouldn't have put it up

You can't extract words from context (but there can be multiple contexts as each person sees things slightly differently) but the meaning of words can be changed so they become less powerful.

When I was younger 'fuck' was still a powerful word and only used when you were **really,really** pissed off and it had force. Now it's everywhere and has lost that power to shock.

But if I went up to someone and called them a 'fucking cunt' as opposed to a 'fucking twat' I'll probably not come away unscathed.

But the offence taken is still in that person's mind and in their own context. Societal norms and a person's perceived reaction to a word will affect which words you will freely bandy around and which worda you won't.

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