FabSwingers.com forum: How to get motivated

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lately, whenever I try to start taking steps to fix my life (life admin/studying etc mainly to do with job hunting and getting my career back on track), I just keep getting anxiety and my heart starts fluttering thinking about all the insurmountable tasks in front of me. I then end up procrastinating and wasting opportunities.

I've tried the whole "break it down into small steps" thing but it's like I literally can't bring myself to start putting things into place.

I know I'm making it sound like I'm lazy, but it's a strange feeling that's really hard to describe and makes me feel uneasy, like a pit in my stomach.

Do any non-judgemental, successful and/or productive people have any tips or coping mechanisms they'd be willing to share with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decide you're going to stop making excuses not to do it

Make a list of what you need to do

Work through the list

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I found this helpful: https://youtu.be/1gzVhnT3pB4

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By *ionaScarletTV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee

Do the dishes...

That's where I start. By the time I've done the dishes, I'm more in the frame of mind to do some other productive thing.

And even if I don't... well...

at least the dishes are done

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Only you can break the cycle.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

In the words of Yoda

Do ...or do not.....there is no try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Set yourself a goal, ie a date by which to get one of those things accomplished, but a realistic one. Give yourself more time than needed and set aside 30mins per day to work toward that. But one goal at a time until it's achieved then on to the next. You'll find that having something to aim for will motivate you.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"I found this helpful: https://youtu.be/1gzVhnT3pB4"

oooo I'm gonna have a look at this thanks

One thing that seems to be motivating me is using the pomodoro technique when I have a few things to do. Setting a timer for 25 minutes and having a 5 minute break...there's lots of youtube videos with background music but knowing I just have to concentrate for 25 minutes at a time and having a list seems to work for me

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman
over a year ago

lancashire

"Lately, whenever I try to start taking steps to fix my life (life admin/studying etc mainly to do with job hunting and getting my career back on track), I just keep getting anxiety and my heart starts fluttering thinking about all the insurmountable tasks in front of me. I then end up procrastinating and wasting opportunities.

I've tried the whole "break it down into small steps" thing but it's like I literally can't bring myself to start putting things into place.

I know I'm making it sound like I'm lazy, but it's a strange feeling that's really hard to describe and makes me feel uneasy, like a pit in my stomach.

Do any non-judgemental, successful and/or productive people have any tips or coping mechanisms they'd be willing to share with me? "

Sounds like you may be over facing your self with all that you need to do and it's causing you to get anxious and maybe a panic attack. Just take 1 thing at a time and complete it, go for the easiest option to solve first then when you feel on a role take the next step...it will take time...when you have a good positive day then a negative day then that day will feel worse....just take a deep breath and go again...Hope that has helped you hun, remeber also that your not alone going through these feelings....loads of people do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to figure out incentives and rewards.. I have zero will power so i totally feel for you xx

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"Decide you're going to stop making excuses not to do it

Make a list of what you need to do

Work through the list"

Yes I know where you are coming from . Yes make a list of things you are going or have to do...but make sure to have mindfulness time,pamper facial do something nice.

Dont do everything at once on the list.

Eat properly and keep hydrated

Make your bed every morning ...even if you dont achieve anything that day on the list ..you at least go to bed in a made bed

and remember rome wasn't made in a day!! Take care xx

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Be gentle with yourself and recognise where the anxiety and emotions are coming from.

Maybe try writing down what you are wanting to achieve and why. Then when you start to feel anxious about doing a task - explore what is making you feel like that, what the root of it is, emotions etc - and write that down. Often when we read back how we felt at a certain time, we can learn a lot about ourselves

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By *ionaScarletTV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee

"I found this helpful: https://youtu.be/1gzVhnT3pB4

oooo I'm gonna have a look at this thanks

I've heard of this. Not tried it myself but there's plenty of folk in my line of work who swear by it.

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By *rostgiantMan
over a year ago

Chippenham

There is a video online of a speech given by a US Navy officer, search "If you want to change the world, start by making your bed" by William McRaven on youtube

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Lists... I'm always writing lists. And sometimes I get round to doing things on said lists.

Don't beat yourself up though, there's always tomorrow x

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

If it means that much to you you’ll find a way.

If it doesn’t you’ll find an excuse.

It’s simply your head making up conspiracy theories are simply aren’t there.

Stick to the facts, back yourself, and drag yourself through.

Sorry these are just words, but only you can make the difference.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried the whole "break it down into small steps" thing but it's like I literally can't bring myself to start putting things into place.

I know I'm making it sound like I'm lazy, but it's a strange feeling that's really hard to describe and makes me feel uneasy, like a pit in my stomach.

Do any non-judgemental, successful and/or productive people have any tips or coping mechanisms they'd be willing to share with me? "

This might sound really stupid, I was told it four years ago and told who told me it to f off, when I asked hiw do I change he replied Dave just start at the start....I use it now....

If I was you, I would set myself SMALL, MANGEABLE, ACHIEVABLE REALISTIC, TARGETS...To do in a daily basis..just identify that first one...and don't procrastinate around despite those feelings you've been experiencing, just because I feel ir think way it doesn't mean it has to dictate to me in doing things for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make a plan of everything you want to do, some things will need to be done before you can start others.

Start with the low hanging fruit, get some 'easy' jobs done then cross them out on your plan/list

Put something you enjoy on the line, nothing huge but maybe something like, I won't have my next brew until I've done task X.

Get into the right mindset, have some getting shit done clothes, and get dressed into them as soon as you get up.

Good luck, you can do it!

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Small unrelated tasks at first. Get into the habit of a productive routine.

Get up when your alarm first goes off. Don’t snooze it, get straight up and make your bed so you don’t sit back down in it. Do it everyday for a week. After that week, carry on doing it but set yourself a small task to do first things in the morning, get up, make bed, check job boards (example). Gradually just fill your days with little tasks as it goes along. You’ll tackle the big jobs without even realising it

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By *tsallaboutthebassMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I found exercise helps, I started off slow walking, gym, etc small steps don’t do to much to fast as your give up otherwise, diet again small steps over a long time, stay away from negative people or comments, feel so much better, I’ve lost weight, feel good and even done a charity boxing match for cancer research, everyone’s journey is different, only you can change things good luck

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I've tried the whole "break it down into small steps" thing but it's like I literally can't bring myself to start putting things into place.

I know I'm making it sound like I'm lazy, but it's a strange feeling that's really hard to describe and makes me feel uneasy, like a pit in my stomach.

Do any non-judgemental, successful and/or productive people have any tips or coping mechanisms they'd be willing to share with me? "

I was in the same place.

For me, I decided to take control of my life. Changed my diet, started yoga (just following simple stuff on YouTube atm), learning relaxation techniques and doing the Coach to 4K running (I have never enjoying running btw).

I also started using NLP and modified the way I spoke, so removed all the negatives (I can't do, I'm no good at, etc) and replaced them with positives (I will do my best and everyone I will get better, I'm improving at).

All these things (especially the NLP), helped me become more positive and confident with myself, so then all the things that were causing me issues suddenly seemed less of a problem and were easier to resolve.

It's horrid when you feel 'stuck'.

Hopefully you can find your way unstuck soon.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"I found this helpful: https://youtu.be/1gzVhnT3pB4

oooo I'm gonna have a look at this thanks

Yes, your brain subconsciously works on things even when you aren't (which is why sometimes you wake with an answer to a question, or only remember something when you stop trying and do something else) so in these break periods you can relax, but the issue is still being worked on.

The brain is brilliant once you know how to make the most of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you fixed on something because you "think" it's what you should do. It's like me saying I want be an astronaut but there isn't a snowballs chance in hell because I will never have the skills or ability. Try focus on what you are good at, your skills, what you are passionate about, and what you know is realistically achievable for you. When you realise that and plan it out, those little steps towards your goal are so much easier and that builds confidence because you know you can do it. Confidence in your abilities is the best tool you can have. Best of luck

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Many people will say “visualise the goal and work backwards, what did you have to achieve and at what points in time did you have to achieve them to get there”.

This will help you prioritise and focus, but it is a half truth. Instead I find it better to visualise life as a meandering walk with no real destination, what matters is how I feel now, not how I felt yesterday or how I may feel tomorrow. To this end I do the things that lighten my heart now, or keep me from being restless today, over time you will find the imperative to satisfy the “now” has helped you to achieve the destination you dreamed about, without setting yourself psychologically unrealistic demands, don’t rush, the human race is a marathon (with luck), not a sprint.

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