FabSwingers.com forum: better than the rest?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

right members of the forum, this could turn out to be a long one, so pull up a chair.

so as im sure is the same for you guys, i get a whole host of abusive messages on a daily basis.

most of the time i'll not give a toss about them, just delete without reading and move on.

however at the minute, the abuse is constant. and when you're already fragile, it's really unhelpful.

one particular message today, alongside calling me some pretty spectacular names, i was told I clearly think im better than everyone else, and deserve nothing more than a kick in the teeth.

tbh that hit me more than the names.

i am no better than anybody.

im a human with flaws and issues.

ive been to hell and back, beaten, homeless, jobless, penniless, worthless.

ive worked my way from nothing, to something.

i try my best for anyone, i help when i can, i try and be a good person and better myself, and would give you my last kinder bueno if you asked (big deal in my world

)

i guess im just upset that i could potentially come across this way to people, when that isn't me at all. also upset ive let someone get to me like this

don't even know why im posting this anymore.. tips for brushing it off? usually im good at that, but right now i guess not.

whether you know me or not, is that really the vibe i give off?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Certainly not ... don't let the cyber bully win

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

A private message replying to you saying no thank you, or off the back of a forum post ?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Honestly this is why I don't let people message me.

I've never gotten that vibe from you. Some people on here just see it as arrogance if you're not falling over yourself to meet them which is kinda hypocritical when you think about it

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I've never once got that vibe from you ever Quack .

I've always thought of you as fun and bubbly.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Not at all. You come across to me in a cute, charming, flirty and confident manner. Someone we would love to meet at a munch or social event and have a natter.

Some people didn't get the memo about not being dicks. I just hope their parents are proud of the types of people they have become.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I hear you, when you've had to pick yourself up from the pits of despair. And some idiot comes along and tries to make out you've lived a charmed life it fucking kills.

Because you feel they are making light of what you've gone through and saying you are all the things you hate.

But it's not you, it's them. You've only come across as lovely. And I know strangers words hurt but they are exactly that words of someone with no clue of who you are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact that I see women posting about abusive messages on here all the time really concerns me. I don’t understand it at all. It seems that “not all men” could do with some therapy and counselling...

I hope it doesn’t get to you because it’s about them not about you

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I don’t know you OP but I have seen you on the forums regularly and I’ve always found you respectful. Just ignore the haters.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I've never once got that vibe from you ever Quack .

I've always thought of you as fun and bubbly.

Stop drooling

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

No way do you give that vibe off P! You seems like the most lovely genuine person going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem like a nice person in the forums.

Did you turn someone down? Try and turn it around and see the abuse as a positive. They must be really jealous of you to find the energy to send you shit.

Or they may be feeling really crap and life falling apart and they can't help but blurt out nasty stuff.

Hope you feel better. Xx

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Really sorry you’re having to deal with this and wish I could help with a helpfully point. But I’m just a a complete loss as to why people are so nasty and what would be a problem solving approach. Hope you find answers on here and wishing you well going forward

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I've never once got that vibe from you ever Quack .

I've always thought of you as fun and bubbly.

Stop drooling

Wasn't even a flirt that , just being honest

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By *G999Man
over a year ago

Everywhere & Nowhere

"When it isn't me at all" - you just said it yourself and that's all you need. You know yourself, you don't need to convince anyone else.

Folks are bored, and some even take pleasure in inciting a reaction, negative or otherwise just so they feel heard.

Chin up, you got this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/04/21 18:46:29]

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

You've always come across lovely to me - up for a giggle and I reckon a riot on a night out

That abuse will simply be coming from someone who realises they are not what you are looking for and instead of being a grown up have thrown their toys out of their cot and aimed abuse.

Know you are not what they say you are and the people that are important know this

Now this bueno you mentioned....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easier for people to project their hatred onto you than for them to deal with their own issues. It's their problem, I know it's easier said than done.. but they aren't worth your energy. Just keep being you lovely

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I've never once got that vibe from you ever Quack .

I've always thought of you as fun and bubbly.

Stop drooling

Wasn't even a flirt that , just being honest

It's alright - I was totally drooling

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"right members of the forum, this could turn out to be a long one, so pull up a chair.

so as im sure is the same for you guys, i get a whole host of abusive messages on a daily basis.

most of the time i'll not give a toss about them, just delete without reading and move on.

however at the minute, the abuse is constant. and when you're already fragile, it's really unhelpful.

one particular message today, alongside calling me some pretty spectacular names, i was told I clearly think im better than everyone else, and deserve nothing more than a kick in the teeth.

tbh that hit me more than the names.

i am no better than anybody.

im a human with flaws and issues.

ive been to hell and back, beaten, homeless, jobless, penniless, worthless.

ive worked my way from nothing, to something.

i try my best for anyone, i help when i can, i try and be a good person and better myself, and would give you my last kinder bueno if you asked (big deal in my world

)

i guess im just upset that i could potentially come across this way to people, when that isn't me at all. also upset ive let someone get to me like this

don't even know why im posting this anymore.. tips for brushing it off? usually im good at that, but right now i guess not.

whether you know me or not, is that really the vibe i give off?

Px "

On the forum, you come across as a fun and friendly lass (with pleasant boobs). You are certainly on our list of folk we'd love to meet.

My personal opinion is that nobody's opinion of "you" should carry more weight than your own. If someone suggests that you are something that you know you're not... they're wrong and not worth any more of your thoughts.

Cal x

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By *avid from farnboroughMan
over a year ago

Farnborough and Chepstow

1st tip ...don't brush it off ..cyber bullying is a hate crime and not go be allowed to continue ...

2nd tip what would you say to someone like a son or daughter experiencing this ?? Treat your self with the same level of respect and not take it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a fun vibe off you. You seem like a laugh. A good hang and at times vulnerable

Maybe that's why you get abuse. The assholes are drawn to your vibe but deep down they know they can't have it.

So they hate and lash out.

The quickest way to unhappiness is to give them what they want. Keep being you. Keep having fun. Let them hate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kick him in balls...if he has any

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

They deserve no more of your time P, report and block.

If you were being an conceited arsehole trust in that we would tell you x

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"right members of the forum, this could turn out to be a long one, so pull up a chair.

so as im sure is the same for you guys, i get a whole host of abusive messages on a daily basis.

most of the time i'll not give a toss about them, just delete without reading and move on.

however at the minute, the abuse is constant. and when you're already fragile, it's really unhelpful.

one particular message today, alongside calling me some pretty spectacular names, i was told I clearly think im better than everyone else, and deserve nothing more than a kick in the teeth.

tbh that hit me more than the names.

i am no better than anybody.

im a human with flaws and issues.

ive been to hell and back, beaten, homeless, jobless, penniless, worthless.

ive worked my way from nothing, to something.

i try my best for anyone, i help when i can, i try and be a good person and better myself, and would give you my last kinder bueno if you asked (big deal in my world

)

i guess im just upset that i could potentially come across this way to people, when that isn't me at all. also upset ive let someone get to me like this

don't even know why im posting this anymore.. tips for brushing it off? usually im good at that, but right now i guess not.

whether you know me or not, is that really the vibe i give off?

Px "

I’ve never had any give from you other than a happy, go lucky beautiful woman.

I know it’s easy for me to say but don’t let the bastards get you down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get a fun vibe off you. You seem like a laugh. A good hang and at times vulnerable

Maybe that's why you get abuse. The assholes are drawn to your vibe but deep down they know they can't have it.

So they hate and lash out.

The quickest way to unhappiness is to give them what they want. Keep being you. Keep having fun. Let them hate. "

And report every one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww I’m so sorry that you go through this and anyone else that does! It’s absolutely disgusting what some people send there’s no excuse whatsoever for it!

I’ve never got that from you Quack you’re a lovely person (even when you’ve got a hangover haha)

you’re always so friendly, charming and fun to talk to, don’t let the bullies get to you! They’re jealous bitter horrible people everything you’re not! x

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You dint come across like that at all, it’s just a reflection of a lot of sad blokes who can’t get laid , nothing to do with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you are rather spiffing. I know its never easy to brush off awful comments. All i can say is , it says more about them than you

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

You are a wonderful woman who knows exactly who she is and isn’t afraid to show it, you are also a human being with a heart and feelings if these people feel the need to pull you down it’s a reflection of them not you

Keep being you P, I think you are bloody marvellous and have always been more than nice to me

Chin up gorgeous

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's easier for people to project their hatred onto you than for them to deal with their own issues. It's their problem, I know it's easier said than done.. but they aren't worth your energy. Just keep being you lovely

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La

Unfortunately some people can only go up I luge by dragging or putting others down. I hope you realise this has nothing to do with you. You've never come across here as c@#t. All this is, is plain and simple jealously on their part. Trying to find and pick holes in any and everything just because they don't want you to be beautiful or nice or funny or clever. They just don't want you to real!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Your lovely

OP I get strange massages saying look at your nose yeah its broke so...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There some right keyboard Warriors online. On all dating sites, fab and Facebook included. It's hard not to take it personal however having met you personally I can't see why someone would even say that about you.

You always come across as polite and respectful. Hopefully you can just brush it off report the profile and block them. Don't dwell on it as it's their problem not yours keep smiling and don't let the buggers get you down.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Jealously is an ugly trait at the best of times.

Big hugs my lovely xx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

But most of the ones I recieve are lovely except the "hey" ones x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Often these types of messages are far more about the person sending them than about the person they’re writing to. Resentment at being turned down festers and becomes externalised at a symbol of their resentment.

As for how not to be stung by the words? I’m not so sure. The words are intended to be hurtful so sometimes they hit their mark, just try to remember that they don’t know you nor what’s in your heart

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

When a snake spits venom it is because it is afraid or intends to consume its victim.

Fear comes from jealousy or low self esteem (sense of worth, value, or “power”). A cornered rat bites hard

To be consumed is to be broken of will so that you can be emotionally toyed with and accepting of any control given.

Once you understand why such vitriol is spat at you (either a) the person is unhappy with themselves and wishes to drag others to their level, or b) to break you, so that you can be controlled and grateful for their attention as they have reduced your personal value).

Then you can largely ignore it, the problem OP (as you can see) is not with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely not, You come across as a brilliant being and fun on the forums.

Ive come to find theres a huge amount of very messed up bitter people in the world and a fair few on this site. Ive had abuse via messages... more women than blokes believe it or not, it was the reason i left last time and coming back this time it continued.

One particular person was a regular popular female forumite that has left afew month back she gave it me again then left and deleted her account...

Best advise i can give is rise above it laugh, block and delete.

Your better than they are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t come across that way at all.

You have a great profile with well taken and thought out pictures, I’d imagine you get a fuck ton of messages.

It’s inevitable in an environment such as fab that you will be exposed to the frustrated and jealous feelings that rise in many people sometimes.

Unfortunately there’s nothing to do but block out the negative vibes.

Concentrate on the good stuff.

That’s what I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"right members of the forum, this could turn out to be a long one, so pull up a chair.

so as im sure is the same for you guys, i get a whole host of abusive messages on a daily basis.

most of the time i'll not give a toss about them, just delete without reading and move on.

however at the minute, the abuse is constant. and when you're already fragile, it's really unhelpful.

one particular message today, alongside calling me some pretty spectacular names, i was told I clearly think im better than everyone else, and deserve nothing more than a kick in the teeth.

tbh that hit me more than the names.

i am no better than anybody.

im a human with flaws and issues.

ive been to hell and back, beaten, homeless, jobless, penniless, worthless.

ive worked my way from nothing, to something.

i try my best for anyone, i help when i can, i try and be a good person and better myself, and would give you my last kinder bueno if you asked (big deal in my world

)

i guess im just upset that i could potentially come across this way to people, when that isn't me at all. also upset ive let someone get to me like this

don't even know why im posting this anymore.. tips for brushing it off? usually im good at that, but right now i guess not.

whether you know me or not, is that really the vibe i give off?

Px "

So sorry you have had this abuse - I am horrified that you and others get those type of messages. I don’t think in the years I have been on Fab that I have ever received personal abuse of that kind, just the usual silly ones. Perhaps hide your profile for a short while so you can recover and move on. Hugs x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Also, please note that 39+ people have taken time out to reassure you. That counts

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Nah, you come across as a good laugh Quackers....jealousy is an awful trait but it’s their problem, not yours, so just ignore the knobheads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you quack as similar background to myself ..just remember you are strong and beautiful and no one can take that away from you x

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I'm sorry to hear this

That person clearly has issues and you've had to receive the result of that but you always seem to be super positive and not at all how they described!

Chin up sunshine and keep being your fabulous self

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I know this sounds trite, but it is the best thing I can say.

It is not you. It is them.

You don't come across like that at all, you are an incredible, beautiful and strong woman with a heart of gold. I'm so proud to call you my friend beautiful.

Some people are threatened by strong women and some don't like confidence. And that's what the rest of us see when we look at you.

Love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't come over that way at all sweetie, just ignore the haters. You come across as fun and confident and that's a great way to be

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Aside from the odd message between each other I don't know personally and from what I've read on the forums you come across as a compassionate, confident, strong willed, bright n bubbly, sociable person.

I haven't the foggiest why some scumbags act like that it's as if they want to control others. They are little puny boys

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Fuck me, I knew women got some abusive messages but I didn't realize they would promote violence.

What kind of person would send someone a message like that?

You are ovoulsy and strong person to overcome so much so don't let another person negative emotion overshadow you.

I have to say I'm disgusted that people would send messages of any abuse. Focus on the good people on here and in your real world life, look at them and feel their good emotions.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Sorry this has happened OP.

You don't need to justify yourself to other people or take their shit.

Report,delete and block.

If it's still really getting you down maybe turbo charge your filters or step away for a bit.

Sonetimes a break gives a bit of perspective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Op. I love your pics and you come across as a fun and lovely person.

You might not be able to change what people message to you, but you can change what you do with it and how you cope. Block them and report them. You could even reply telling them you are reporting them to Admin and then block. Try to move forward and forget they exist; they aren't worth a nano second of your time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quack, you’re absolutely lovely, a really wonderful person.

I hear you, when you are fragile, it does knock you, I have been there too.

Maybe when you’re feeling like that, put your filters on?

Here if you need support

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

You're popular, they're not.

Jealous

Take no notice x

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"You're popular, they're not.

Jealous

Take no notice x"

Yeah I reckon that's spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only know you from your posts on forums etc, and I’ve never got that impression from you and I’m a very good judge of character generally. You seem a fun talkative person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like a beautiful sexy woman .Sounds to me the person,I'm assuming a man,is frustrated he can never have you as you are way out of his league and is doing it to get attention.Immediate block and don't let the bullies win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quacksplat, the biggest bit of advice I was ever given when I was rebuilding my life, was "those that mind dont matter, those thst matter dont mind".

I know that doesn't take away feelings, but I see how ppl react to you on the forum, I see your much loved by ppl, focus on those, and not from some half wit who only has abusive language and threats of violence to roll with...

Just do you, n continue to be you, be strong, and remember trolls are trolls who hide behind a keyboard, trying to make ppl feel a little if what there feeling, do not give them power to do that to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get abusive messages why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not, no way!

I think your a lovely, bubbly and very friendly lady

I can't understand the abuse you get, some people are just fucking horrible.

Please, don't listen to them as they are far from right.

Remember, whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.

Chin up lovely

Her x

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