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Fab vs face to face

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By *gent Coulson OP   Man
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Despite the job I do, I am quite a shy person, I wear a mask of self confidence behind the bar and interact with everyone, it's an environment I can control to some degree.

I am the same on here in the forums, there is a certain security in anonymity. But put me face to face with someone I have had little or no contact or connection, I turn to mush, I can easily go to a club, sit at the bar all night, and interact with very few people, I could see someone that I found so hot and still not have nerves to say anything.

Anyone else feel the same, I would be interested to know if it's just how I am!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a little gobshite

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Always. That's me to an absolute T.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fake it.

Like you do in your job.

Wear the 'confident chatty friendly man' mask. Act as though you've known them for years (in a friendly way not a pervy way!) and that will put them at ease too.

Before you realise it you'll be chatting away with them and forgotten all about the shy you.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Im quite confident person, but still get a little nervous when meeting someone, until we've started chatting and she's laughed at my first joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

snap.

you aren't alone Px

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I used to be , I really did .

And fab has helped my outgoing side so much by making me realise I am desirable to some people.

Before fab nobody would have known me the way they do today as I felt ugly and undesirable ( as I have most of my life ).

I still get nervous on a first meet but I'm usually OK after a few minutes.

I guess my point is that being on fab has allowed my Naturally flirty nature to blossom without doing it in person, allowing people to get to know me first

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

I'm very much the same I think...

What you see is what you get! Mr Racer seems more shy alongside me, but usually cos I'm yabbering away

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

I do a job where I have to interact with them, also make small talk (I don’t usually have any interest in what their hobbies are etc) part of the job can include speaking to an audience, so the best way to do it is take a few deep breaths, relax, rehearse in your mind what you’d like to say then go for it. If you end up doing an impression of porky pig laugh about it, it will break the ice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be very shy and lacked confidence until my late 20s.

It was only until I changed my job and I needed to be sociable and interact with clients I came out of my Shell and gained confidence.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I'm just a twat "

Same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always. That's me to an absolute T.

"

Really? You look like you’re full of confidence x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see myself as a confident person, I can pretty much talk to and get along with most people. However, people who truely know me and people ive just met will see different sides to me. It takes me a while to warm up to someone, so I am guilty of going into my shell sometimes.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I am just as confident in person as I am online, 9/10 shy people are put at ease pretty quickly, but a rare few just couldn't and that made for pretty awkward socials

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I wonder if, for all the distain I had for them at university, traffic light stickers might work. To be optionally able to have a green sticker that says "hey, you can't talk to me, I'm not just trying to look aloof and cool" would be good.

Actually now I think of it, there is a system a bit like this at Liberty Elite. Can't quite remember now, but it's something around single ladies being able to let guys know if they don't want to be bothered. Not quite the same, but hey I'd wear a green sticker on my forehead if it meant couples like us would come and start the conversations!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just a twat

Same "

Embrace the twat

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

There must be something in the air, I just started a confidence thread before I saw this one! Fake it 'til you make it usually works for me in social situations. That, or addressing the elephant in the room "I'm feeling really nervous in this unfamiliar situation but I would love to get to know you better" for example.

Mrs kf x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I'm just a twat

Same

Embrace the twat "

Absolutely. And proud too

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

I used to be the same, was never happy with myself and hated seeing photographs of myself so much that I would run a mile to avoid a camera.

I still have a degree of it still in me but the majority has gone and I am a lot more confident around others. This place helped, and other online dating because it gave me validation that there are people who will like you for who you are, even though there are others who won’t. I just learned to balance those thoughts.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"There must be something in the air, I just started a confidence thread before I saw this one! Fake it 'til you make it usually works for me in social situations. That, or addressing the elephant in the room "I'm feeling really nervous in this unfamiliar situation but I would love to get to know you better" for example.

Mrs kf x"

I do that "meta conversation" too. Talking about talking. it's clunky but I hope it's a good way to get some acknowledgement of honest out there. Although then the conversation tends to lead to turning it into crowd watching with others, rather than feeling able to say you're actually interested in who you're talking to.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

This game s a lot like me. It’s funny that when I say I’m really shy before I meet because my pics and the way I chat on here says other wise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I talk too much "

Same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just a twat

Same

Embrace the twat

Absolutely. And proud too "
whoop whoop

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"There must be something in the air, I just started a confidence thread before I saw this one! Fake it 'til you make it usually works for me in social situations. That, or addressing the elephant in the room "I'm feeling really nervous in this unfamiliar situation but I would love to get to know you better" for example.

Mrs kf x

I do that "meta conversation" too. Talking about talking. it's clunky but I hope it's a good way to get some acknowledgement of honest out there. Although then the conversation tends to lead to turning it into crowd watching with others, rather than feeling able to say you're actually interested in who you're talking to."

I saw it at a wedding reception once. We sat down at a table with a random assortment of guests. Awkward chit chat about the weather and bride being beautiful etc etc. Then one guy says "Well, we're going to be sat here for a few hours - instead of making awkward small talk why don't we all take 60 seconds to speak about who we are?" It broke the ice and then brought up more interesting topics. Thought it was a great technique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Despite the job I do, I am quite a shy person, I wear a mask of self confidence behind the bar and interact with everyone, it's an environment I can control to some degree.

I am the same on here in the forums, there is a certain security in anonymity. But put me face to face with someone I have had little or no contact or connection, I turn to mush, I can easily go to a club, sit at the bar all night, and interact with very few people, I could see someone that I found so hot and still not have nerves to say anything.

Anyone else feel the same, I would be interested to know if it's just how I am!!"

No, you're not alone.

I'm an intovert myself and find it difficult to interact to people I just met (or people in general ).

But get to know me better and I become chatterbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am much the same as you, sadly I am still like this at the ripe young age of 71

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can sometimes come across as shy in a large group setting, although it's less me being shy and more me just observing the scene and getting a feel for the lay of the land.

However in one to one situations with men I'm usually very confident. I figure they've come to meet me, so they must already like me a bit. I get a slight twinge of nerves when the clothes come off, but then I just crack on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can sometimes come across as shy in a large group setting, although it's less me being shy and more me just observing the scene and getting a feel for the lay of the land.

However in one to one situations with men I'm usually very confident. I figure they've come to meet me, so they must already like me a bit. I get a slight twinge of nerves when the clothes come off, but then I just crack on!"

I already like you a lot, although I will probably never meet you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m quite shy..... I think till I get to know someone ..... I tend to listen rather than talk .... I’m certainly not confident until I get to know someone then I don’t shut up hehe xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can sometimes come across as shy in a large group setting, although it's less me being shy and more me just observing the scene and getting a feel for the lay of the land.

However in one to one situations with men I'm usually very confident. I figure they've come to meet me, so they must already like me a bit. I get a slight twinge of nerves when the clothes come off, but then I just crack on!

I already like you a lot, although I will probably never meet you... "

Aw fanks

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I'm not shy, but I can be a bit aloof sometimes, which some people interpret as me being shy. In general though, I tend to smile a lot which seems to make people want to talk back to me...or they might just be responding in the hopes that I'll shut up for a moment

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

I think we all av a slight mask on here .we all seem 2 av a laugh .come across as super confident know wot we want in life ... but slightly diff in real life x

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I’m much quieter on the forum than I am in real life

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm a nervous babbler - unless I notice someone else looks left out I usually try and engage them. I'm much better at helping other people feel welcome and relaxed to cover my own anxiety of not knowing people

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