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Single parents.... is there a double standard?

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

It's another long one I'm afraid....

It seems to me that the sex of a full time single parent shouldn't matter, and that anyone raising a child or children alone should be treated the same as anyone else. Sadly I've recently discovered that isn't always the case, and I wanted to see what the forum brains had to say. In my view, any person raising a child (or children) should be putting them and their needs first, and as a person coming in to that situation, I would expect that my needs and desires (and those of the parent concerned) would be dealt with to fit around the child(ren).

Now, as a straight woman, that means single fathers. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not all women think the same as I do. While men coming in to a mother's life would expect, and are expected, to think as I do, and in fact are vilified if they don't, it would seem that women aren't always the same, and some women expect the single fathers to put them first rather than the child. I'm not going to lie, I was gobsmacked when I heard this (from more than one source). I'm not just talking about fab, but obviously it's here that the subject has come up and here that I'm now bringing it up.

I'm not a parent, single or otherwise, and as such no doubt there will be people who think I shouldn't have an opinion. Sorry about that folks. I'm not that well behaved.

So to you....

Do you treat single parents differently based on whether they are female or male? As a single, full time parent do you feel you're treated differently from those of the opposite sex?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Child/Children come first always......

e.g. Your day to have the children then NOTHING else should be arranged. EVER.

Imagine this, well I couldn't have him that day your honour as the chance to get laid came up.

I couldn't have the kids that weekend your honour cos I went to the races with me mates.....

Kids first ...... time to be adults.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Child/Children come first always......

e.g. Your day to have the children then NOTHING else should be arranged. EVER.

Imagine this, well I couldn't have him that day your honour as the chance to get laid came up.

I couldn't have the kids that weekend your honour cos I went to the races with me mates.....

Kids first ...... time to be adults. "

What Granny said.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Holy fuck don't get me started on this....

Not had too many "dates" to speak of but I once met a lady who made it quite clear that should I wish to continue to date her then my little should permanently reside at his mums since she had no desire to raise anyone else's child and I had "a family" I needed to put first.

Left the evening half way through, didn't even attempt to pay at least my half. Not even sorry about that.

In recent years I've been unfortunate in the sense that my little has only me now and its 100% me 100% of the time... Guess what... Its MY responsibility to make time for the ladies I speak to and I need to make arrangements for childcare because said lady excepts me to understand she has children!!!!

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Child/Children come first always......

e.g. Your day to have the children then NOTHING else should be arranged. EVER.

Imagine this, well I couldn't have him that day your honour as the chance to get laid came up.

I couldn't have the kids that weekend your honour cos I went to the races with me mates.....

Kids first ...... time to be adults. "

Precisely my feelings. But apparently not all feel the same unfortunately.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

This is why i would never have got involved with a single father. Kids come first and i didnt want my life restricted because of father duties

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

I've seen this on dating sites and although it is unnatural to me, I can see her point for wanting his full attention especially if she is looking for a life partner. I've seen men get shitty because I put mine first no matter what, but that is another good filter for me.

Personally it's difficult as my playtime is the weekends and a lot of single dad's have their kids at the weekends, so It makes us incompatible pretty quickly.

I think this is why I choose hothusbands as partners or single men with no or grown up kids as they fit into my lifestyle better

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I've spoken to guys who were going to blow off having their kids for the weekend to meet. Nah, their kids should be top priority. Yes it'll take longer, and meets wouldn't be as regular, but thats part of being a parent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I share the responsibility with my daughters mum. So first week of easter holidays I had her at mine.

So with that I was quiet from fab until later on in the night. As I'd rather spend that time doing things then looking at vaginas and boobs. I won't ever put sex before that time..

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If I get involved with a guy who had kids, I 100% expect his kids to come before me. In fact I would lose respect for him if they didn't. And I say this as someone without children who has no intention of having any.

I definitely know this is a thing unfortunately as my dad has spoken about it being an issue for him with dating. Though on the flip side, as much as women seem to get more understanding when it comes to children, my mum got with her partner when me and my brother were still at home and it was quite obvious he would rather we weren't in the picture and he's created tension about things like my brother inviting our dad and dad's family to big events like his engagement party. I personally think any of this behaviour is really shitty. If I date someone with kids, the kids come first and the other parent is very likely to be in the picture to some degree for the rest of their life. If someone can't handle that they shouldn't date people with children in my opinion.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I once had a guy tell me he didn't arrange time with his kids at the weekend because that was his time to see me. He actually believed I would be over the moon to hear him tell me I was the reason his kids did not see their father!

I think not, sunshine!

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

My kids are playing Minecraft currently, they’re waiting for Mum to arrive and pick them up. I collected them on Friday.

The weekend has been about them, admittedly they’re at an age where I can take them to the park and let them run wild, whilst I watched the football on my phone. I hasten to add it’s an enclosed park so they can’t run off anywhere

Last night as I was watching a film they wanted to go out at 8pm with their head torches to play a game they’d invented. I was tired and a bit grumpy and it was raining a little bit..however 15 minutes later I’m in the park as they’re running around searching for their toys they’d hidden from each other.

Next weekend I’ll be on my own again, no hugs out of nowhere (my youngest will just appear and hug me) or them bouncing up and down because they’ve found, lost or broken something. No endless making two different meals for them as they’re both fussy eaters. I’ll have peace and quiet...and I’ll miss them terribly

No one will ever get in the way of me and my lads, it’s a no brainier, they obviously come first

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I can't really comment on bringing a man into my sons life as I was essentially a born again nun until my son was 15. It was a choice I made due to not wanting to unsettle him with a man potentially not being around longterm.

On the point of being in a single father's life - I have been and would always make sure that he had time with the kids with out me around along with one on one time with each (he had three) while I looked after the others.

Being otherwise doesn't make sense to me but I know many people want a relationship where they are the 'main focus'. I would say to anyone that feels that way shouldn't get involved with a single parent

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

In general terms, single parents absolutely do get treated differently according to gender.

Single dads are seen as being gentle, caring and get ‘aw, isn’t he so sweet’. Single mums are seen as just doing their duty and what’s expected of them.

In terms of arranging meets around kids, I think that the children should always come first but at the same time, I think that parents need time to be themselves and not just baby caring machines.

It’s not just a good/bad dichotomy and there are many nuances and complexities to this.

A person can care for their children and have them as their priority, whilst also meeting people.

Without getting into specifics, I wouldn’t tell another parent how to look after their child, nor what their priorities ‘should’ be. So long as the child is loved, looked after and cared for, then it’s none of anyone’s business nor what their priorities might look like to casual observers

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of. "

Wrong women.

Thats fucked up.

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of. "

You know I think wrong women.

As, I believe, evidenced in my OP....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t comment as the reason I’ve been single so long is because I didn’t want to bring anyone into my child’s life. She comes first - I didn’t want to share myself.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of.

Wrong women.

Thats fucked up. "

Thats the tip of a very nasty iceberg.

Not been many but they have been SERIOUSLY fucked up.

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By *arol321Woman
over a year ago

Poole


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of. "

You pick the wrong women. Without a doubt. Anyone who doesn’t get that your kids come first is not worth a second of your time.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

My kids always come first as frustrating as it can be at times, they always do.

I respect the wishes of single mothers too and unless the relationship between fwb changes into more than just sex, then neither will ever meet the other.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

The last 3 years have become complete single parenting. 100% me. No backup, no real support network. A constant headache in running things to be sure he's fully cared for, warm, safe, looked after. I play around here for the virtual fun, the forums, chat rooms, pretty pictures and sense of community. I've also been called a timewaster because I can't and won't leave him to travel and wont palm him off out somewhere to accommodate. (Obviously we can't and I won't due to circumstances regardless) but if this were different and meets were still on.... Thats the end result I would have got. But the flip side is I'm fully expected to tailor to the ladies wants, needs and requirements.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Dating a single parent is not something for divas or self centred folk. It’s tough!!

I dated and married one and yes they were the main focus of our life outside of work. They still are.

That left very little time for us, we couldn’t just do whatever we wanted. But that was what we signed up for.

Kids should come first to every parent, male or female. If you’re lucky you’ll be blessed with a friendship as close as mine for life. It’s unbelievably rewarding to be part of any child’s life because they choose you.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I lived like a nun for several years until my youngest was 18. I didn't want different men in their lives. My ex used to avoid being a Father and, has put the women first. Both his long term partners with no children seemed to think it was ok.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think some folks may say that's been their experiences to gain the sympathy/compassionate/empathic response of outrage and shock hoping for it to follow with "I'll show you not all women are like that" then boom, target struck.

For others, that will have been their experience.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I’ve been a sole parent for 3 years now and it’s incredibly tough at times you don’t have that shared role and have to both roles all by yourself. Not really delved into the dating game as I just don’t have the free time. I have however found a lot of guys on here just presume that you’ll want to have them round while the kids are in bed and that will never happen. Interested to read others perceptive on things.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I frequently got told, not asked, but told by men in my inbox to "put the kid to bed and we can be quiet" when I informed them I wasn't coming out and they were not coming to my house as my son was here.

They always assumed he was a small one. I took pleasure in telling them he'd likely kick their arse for being so damn disrespectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of. "

It seemed to be standard double standards from my experience.

Walked out of two relationships with other single parents because they seemed to think I should prioritise their situation over mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve been a sole parent for 3 years now and it’s incredibly tough at times you don’t have that shared role and have to both roles all by yourself. Not really delved into the dating game as I just don’t have the free time. I have however found a lot of guys on here just presume that you’ll want to have them round while the kids are in bed and that will never happen. Interested to read others perceptive on things. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"I’ve been a sole parent for 3 years now and it’s incredibly tough at times you don’t have that shared role and have to both roles all by yourself. Not really delved into the dating game as I just don’t have the free time. I have however found a lot of guys on here just presume that you’ll want to have them round while the kids are in bed and that will never happen. Interested to read others perceptive on things. "

I hate it that when the kids are in bed it's presumed that it is automatically playtime

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's a double standard as such.

This just feels like a pop at some woman's character

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I don't think it's a double standard as such.

This just feels like a pop at some woman's character "

It's not at all. This is purely because I don't understand it and was amazed to hear it.

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By *gent SteveMan
over a year ago

North Wales, Chester,

I'm a single father to two sons and would never put them aside just to get laid,hence why I have hardly ever met here,the women I have met have been very understanding and if I had a hint of selfishness from one of them I wouldn't have met them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s a valid question

As a lone parent - I understand

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

Children come first end of story.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Ultimately a lot of people have been fucked over, and not all of their reactions will be from a nasty entitled place, some of them will be them seeking validation or a sign of some importance in the single parents life. It ain't all about being top dog, sometimes all they may want is compromise as it's an area that lacked in their past. They could have been walked over up until that point.

So many variables.

So many scenarios.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

As someone who never, ever wanted my own children, I have to say I'd find it pretty damn strange if someone put me before their kids, be that if they were a single parent or shared custody.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield."

peach... Please tell me you haven't had that experience??

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield.

peach... Please tell me you haven't had that experience?? "

You aint read my profile have ya

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield."

Certainly is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable. "

Now that is definitely a pop at someone in particular

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable.

Now that is definitely a pop at someone in particular "

Well YEAH. what d'you think I'm just fabricating these incidents in my head??? It's from EXPERIENCES

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable.

Now that is definitely a pop at someone in particular "

Unless it's you, why do you care?

People are sharing their experiences when dating either as a single parent or dating a single parent, that's going to include individual people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield.

peach... Please tell me you haven't had that experience??

You aint read my profile have ya "

I hadn't.. But I m going to now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can’t comment as the reason I’ve been single so long is because I didn’t want to bring anyone into my child’s life. She comes first - I didn’t want to share myself.

"

It's not the main reason for me staying single but it plays a huge factor.

I'm not a nun by any standards but I'm pretty dead set on not having people around when my daughter is home. Even if she's asleep the last thing I'd want is for her to appear and see a stranger in her home.

I also don't arrange meets then get a sitter, if I know she's going to her Gran's for the weekend or she'll be away then I'll plan things around that.

But childcare falls through and so do plans - some guys get really annoyed and pushy about coming round anyway. It's a huge turn off and I tend to cut them off if they're like that. Single parenting is hard and having any sort of sex life or dating life can make it even harder but she will always be put first regardless.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable.

Now that is definitely a pop at someone in particular

Unless it's you, why do you care?

People are sharing their experiences when dating either as a single parent or dating a single parent, that's going to include individual people. "

Thankyou. Common sense at last. x

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable.

Now that is definitely a pop at someone in particular

Unless it's you, why do you care?

People are sharing their experiences when dating either as a single parent or dating a single parent, that's going to include individual people. "

Exactly Evie.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Since my divorce in 2016 I’ve dated three different women, only one was childless. In all cases, maybe because they’re all around my age, it’s never been a problem.

They’ve all understood that my lads come first but generally any plans made can be kept. Very rarely in the last few years has my ex suddenly needed me to change weekends or other plans.

Maybe I’ve been lucky, but in general I’ve found potential partners to be quite understanding.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

I would always expect someone to put their kids before me. In fact I would be suspicious of someone that didn't!

Obviously at times that might be irritating if something was planned, and a "kid based emergency" occurred.

But that's the nature of having children. I'd not get shitty about it.

As they get older you get back a bit more flexibility and freedom, but they are always there.

I had to drop everything to look after my grandson last year, when my daughter went into hospital.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Co-parented for 10 years. Exactly 50/50 mid-week and weekends. My time was my time her time was her time. Half my creation, half my responsibilities. Shuffled for compromise on occasion but not ever did I drop my time for something else or someone else. The issues were when my time cut into someone else's EXPECTATIONS and when I wouldn't move on it there was an issue. Its fully expected for me to comply with the requirements of someone else but never 1 thought would be considered for them to move on it. (I've got my son this weekend, but we could do it next weekend..... Absolutely not, i want to do it this weekend so you can change your plans) no 2nd chance, I'm up and gone cos I ain't changing my plans with him cos you want something this weekend.

Been full time single parenting for 3 years and the commitment required increases by 1000% and STILL I'm expected to put these things aside to make room for the needs of the person I'm speaking to, yet the second I say I can't and won't just drop everything or make arrangements (that I actually DON'T have cos my support unit is very small) I'M the one being unreasonable. "

If they're like that are they really worth getting stressed about though?

Sounds like your little person is your whole world. That's all that matters.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Thinking. Being unwilling to change plans or dates would actually be a red flag for me.

Myself and my sons dad lived 150 miles apart. We didn't remain great friends but defo didn't and don't hate each other. If one of us had something come up we'd switch things up, no biggie.

It concerns me when people aren't prepared to, for the sole reason it indicates to me personally that the split may have been a bad one and there's no way of knowing if you're being told the truth that their ex is the monster they portray (like the dude who was the actual abuser told me his ex was) or not.

Back in that minefield.

Of course it could mean nothing more than the parents stick to routine or whatnot, but past experiences make our ears prick up.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Kids first .. always

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

If I was to meet anyone with kids then I would expect to do things around when they had the kids, they're called dependants for a reason and that is that they are dependant on their parents so I come in second place to them and that is how my parents did things with me when I was a child.

At times you may even be introduced to those kids and that to me is quite an honour too as you're being let in to your partners life more deeply, enjoy it for what it is as you're also a big part of your partners life if that is the case.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both of us our single parents to our kids which may make it easier as we both appreciate that the children come first.

Though I'd always expect that and a person that didnt respect that my role as care giver came first wouldn't work out. Children grow up and move out but in the meantime they are the parents responsibility.

I can understand people not wanting to date single parents because of this but it should be a given that the children will be the priority

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

I think you sound awesome.

If their interest has diminished they're not worth worrying about.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

I Like YOU!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try being on the other side of it and being told by a lady that you need to cancel all plans with your little because she wants to book holiday for 4 (me, her, her 2 kids) 2 things started a blazing break up.

1: To take mine with us would cost more money.

2: She had no interest in taking toddling baggage with us cos it would "ruin her holiday"

Do i pick the wrong women... Or is this the standard model when men have kids to take care of.

You pick the wrong women. Without a doubt. Anyone who doesn’t get that your kids come first is not worth a second of your time. "

the irony of this is what she was doing is putting her kids first , exactly what we are telling the poster to do as being totally reasonable

in a proper relationship it has to at some point no longer be about my kids and your kids and switch to our kids -it needs to be about becoming one blended family and putting all the kids first or it just falls apart

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

I disagree. Some folk here will say whatever makes them look good. That’s not the kind of person you ever want around a child. Your post is ace. Those that don’t get it aren’t worth your effort. Very inspiring

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham

I married my ex husband with 3 children and I absolutely expected them to come first every step of the way. We would not have been together had it been any different.

I wasn’t a single parent for very long but there is no way I would have let any man or woman expect my son to not be my priority. Coparenting worked out great for dating as I had time for myself and quality time with him when he was home. Once a relationship bloomed (long distance) the times I had my son were still all about him. New man was welcome to join us but they became family times.

Not to take away from the single parent point of the thread but there seem to be expectations that even couples or hot wives have no need to put their children first either. I’m expected to be able to meet at any time because my husband is home to ‘look after’ the children and there’s no understanding from some people that I actually enjoy spending time with my children. I have actually had shit from one guy when I had to cancel a meet because my son didn’t sleep all night and I was too tired and not in a sexy frame of mind to meet and he had a young child of his own! He was horrid and accused me of making up excuses and being a tease.

I have a single father friend and we have been trying for a year and a half to arrange a second meet. Twice we had it all booked and twice he had to cancel because of a sick child and a call from the school about an injury. I don’t know if it’s easier to understand when you have your own or if it’s just a common sense thing but it hasn’t bothered me at all, these things happen with kids. Guaranteed when I’m finally able to get a meet in one of mine will be off school ill too

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

My children always come 1st. When I found out my ex had joined here as a couple (after I had as a single) I made it clear we would not swap access nights for fab meets. We had an arrangement that suited us both & gave us flexibility.

I expect my ex to put our children 1st but he never really has, even when we were together.

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to date once, a long time ago. It didn't work and I vowed while my kids are young, I wouldn't do it again.

This is why Fab works for me because I can arrange things for when I know my children will be with their dad but if something changed then plans would have to be cancelled. My children will always come first and my two lives don't cross.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace


"I’ve been a sole parent for 3 years now and it’s incredibly tough at times you don’t have that shared role and have to both roles all by yourself. Not really delved into the dating game as I just don’t have the free time. I have however found a lot of guys on here just presume that you’ll want to have them round while the kids are in bed and that will never happen. Interested to read others perceptive on things.

I hate it that when the kids are in bed it's presumed that it is automatically playtime "

I've had this so much on various different dating sites, I make it clear the kids come first and I only date when I have a sitter and noone comes back to mine unless they're at a sleepover with family as it's their house and I will not be doing anything while their in it. The only time someone will stay over or come round is if or when I'm in a long term relationship with that person and the kids have met them (and that wouldn't be immediately it would be a long while before they do)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

If someone does lose interest over it then it's no loss as they'd be totally the wrong person for you anyway.

Personally as I've gotten old enough to date people with children, I've found myself finding it a really attractive quality to see someone being a good father. As I don't want my own children, someone's qualities as a father aren't really relevant to me but I think it's just because it's a reflection of the type of person that they are.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

"

I imagine for the same reason people say they’re shift workers and the like. To illustrate they require compatibility on availability etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

"

Maybe so people can *hopefully* understand that they can't/won't meet at a drop of a hat or that things could change last minute?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter 100% comes first and I'm a full time parent too her...

Different story when it comes to her Dad...

If I were to date again, any man would be told she comes first under no uncertain terms.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

"

Well I don't state it on mine but because I am single but say I cannot accommodate the question usually aimed at me is 'are you really single?'

Yes I am but I'm not having you in the house with my son

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

i am one of those people who if i met someone in your situation would back off because i don’t want to be someones mother (i don’t even want my own kids) - i am talking relationship style here not fab meet btw

don’t take it as a negative on you or your child - it absolutely isn’t - its a self awareness thing. i know what i do and don’t want in my life, i know what situations i would be bad at , it would be hugely selfish of me to get involved with someone who has kids knowing i want no involvement with them because it would lead to alot of hurt later down the line

i know you say you don’t want or need a mother for your daughter and that is completely fair , but anyone you date needs to be happy to play that role wether you want it or not or you are dating short term for an inevitable break up.

at some point if you want a future together the worlds will have to collide and at that point the worst thing that could happen is she treats your daughter like she doesn’t want to be her family. i grew up with both step mother and step father , and when the time is right for it and you start living as a family , unless you blend truly like they were never not your kids it just creates so much tension and heartache for everyone and thats a horrible environment for a child feeling unwanted by one of the parent figures in the household

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

"

Clarity.

Discreet clarity.

If a profile you liked had no indication of commitment and you found out via messaging to a build to an eventual meet would you be happy that he'd waited until then to tell you or would you have rather known at the first read of the profile so you could make a decision on whether to pursue it or not

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

"

Because you’re not the most important person in their life and sex with a stranger from a sex site doesn’t fall within their main priorities

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

As my own Father was guilty of this (wanted to spend time with us when it suited him, but dropped us quicker than a hot potato whenever he got a new Girlfriend), I have zero respect for anyone who treats their children as such (Men AND Women).

He never did sort out his priorities and now none of his children, family or grandkids talk to him.

He's miserable, lonely and constantly blames others for his situation apparently.

- Amy. x

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton


"It's another long one I'm afraid....

It seems to me that the sex of a full time single parent shouldn't matter, and that anyone raising a child or children alone should be treated the same as anyone else. Sadly I've recently discovered that isn't always the case, and I wanted to see what the forum brains had to say. In my view, any person raising a child (or children) should be putting them and their needs first, and as a person coming in to that situation, I would expect that my needs and desires (and those of the parent concerned) would be dealt with to fit around the child(ren).

Now, as a straight woman, that means single fathers. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not all women think the same as I do. While men coming in to a mother's life would expect, and are expected, to think as I do, and in fact are vilified if they don't, it would seem that women aren't always the same, and some women expect the single fathers to put them first rather than the child. I'm not going to lie, I was gobsmacked when I heard this (from more than one source). I'm not just talking about fab, but obviously it's here that the subject has come up and here that I'm now bringing it up.

I'm not a parent, single or otherwise, and as such no doubt there will be people who think I shouldn't have an opinion. Sorry about that folks. I'm not that well behaved.

So to you....

Do you treat single parents differently based on whether they are female or male? As a single, full time parent do you feel you're treated differently from those of the opposite sex?"

I can only talk about my own personal experience. Single father, kids half the week, work the other half of the week. So only arrange meets/socials around that. So if I’m working late I’ll try and arrange an early social. And vice versa. But once my kids are here. No meets. They genuinely sleep through anything but I still wouldn’t.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Since my divorce in 2016 I’ve dated three different women, only one was childless. In all cases, maybe because they’re all around my age, it’s never been a problem.

They’ve all understood that my lads come first but generally any plans made can be kept. Very rarely in the last few years has my ex suddenly needed me to change weekends or other plans.

Maybe I’ve been lucky, but in general I’ve found potential partners to be quite understanding. "

I’ve had this.

Perhaps it’s my age but most people have children and understand the commitments required.

Perhaps I’m just very careful in my selection process or I’ve been lucky but I wouldn’t even bother with someone who didn’t understand. It’s a very basic and early part of my selection process

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I used to meet someone regular from fab as every fortnight we were child free so suited us both. I was due to stay overnight one Friday and had to message that morning to say youngest was off school sick and unlikely to go to dads that night so I had to cancel. There were no issues as he had kids himself and said if things changed just let him know, even said if youngest went to dads Saturday we could move our arrangements.

My ex husband however he demands any gfs 100% attention and even threatened to stop seeing one gf cause she was putting her kids first and not throwing her husband out quick enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a full time single father, I don't have have a day without my child, her mother has not been on the scene for about 8 years, my child is turning 10 soon.

1) I work damed hard and always put my childs need first and I'm a fantastic parent. My child is very inteligent, creative and we discuss things, I don't dictate.

2) My daughter will always come first and have always and will always maintain this and anybody coming into our lives would have to understand this.

3) I'm certainly not looking for a mother figure for my daughter, she has good females to luck up to in iher grandmother and autie and cousin.

I have met who have not been interested because I'm a single parent and they want all my attention which I can't give.

The fact that I'm a full time father to a daughter, I have had women telling me they don't want to be someone mother, I need someone to be her mother.

I have have women that seen digusted and look at me with distrust because I'm a single father of a girl, I haven't buried the body of my ex-wife under the floor boards for fuck sake.

I even had a women tell me she would be uncomfortable that my daughter was bi-racial, then bye, don't let door hit your arse on the way out.

I would give up my life for my daughter.

I'm now at the stage, as my child get a bit older, where I feel I can look at having reltionships again and I do deserve to have a life as well.

Any woman coming into our live would come in as my friend first until my daughter felt comfortable with her and I have completey forgot the question...

I don't make any aopologies for puting my daughter first and never will, any woman who can't understand that is not worth breathing the same air as my daughter.

Sorry about the rant.

I bet the little interest I had on this site has diminished even more now, oh well.

"

What an amazing role model/father you are, very lucky girl

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders"

Thank you Tea.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders"

This is pretty evident in all areas of life though, unfortunately...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders"

I thought it came down to individual experiences that shaped their thoughts. I know I'm waaaaaay more suspicious than I ever used to be. I used to take everything at face value.

When I was meeting, my hurdle once my son had moved out was work. Can turn on a ninepence, and much like with children and their unpredictability I had to cancel/postpone sometimes.

I ain't gonna get bent outta shape coz that doesn't suit someone else, I just think fuck it, it's awkward but that's how it goes. If that was a red flag to someone then so be it. No skin off my nose.

That's why I tended to go to clubs instead of arrange meets.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders"

I thought that was the point of the post though.. that men don’t get the same acceptance of childcare being a priority and it’s assumed to be more of a female thing? Of course nobody is likely to come on and say that they think they should be prioritised over someone’s kids.. but we all know folk spit their dummy out if they’re not the centre of someone’s thoughts and plans..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

I thought that was the point of the post though.. that men don’t get the same acceptance of childcare being a priority and it’s assumed to be more of a female thing? Of course nobody is likely to come on and say that they think they should be prioritised over someone’s kids.. but we all know folk spit their dummy out if they’re not the centre of someone’s thoughts and plans.. "

Yes and people underlined the fact that guys don’t get viewed the same way as women do!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

I thought that was the point of the post though.. that men don’t get the same acceptance of childcare being a priority and it’s assumed to be more of a female thing? Of course nobody is likely to come on and say that they think they should be prioritised over someone’s kids.. but we all know folk spit their dummy out if they’re not the centre of someone’s thoughts and plans..

Yes and people underlined the fact that guys don’t get viewed the same way as women do!

"

I don’t get what you’re saying I’m blaming codeine but it’s probably just my brain..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

kids come first end of for me, irrespective of who's looking after them.

Anyone who expects differently isn't my kind of person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are treat very very differently

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders"

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Both me and M were single parents before we got together. Whilst there is no difference between how we treat each other and our responsibilities. People around us have very different expectations on how often we should have the children etc etc. So I can only presume that people seeking relationships can have the same opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

Clarity.

Discreet clarity.

If a profile you liked had no indication of commitment and you found out via messaging to a build to an eventual meet would you be happy that he'd waited until then to tell you or would you have rather known at the first read of the profile so you could make a decision on whether to pursue it or not"

Hardly 'discreet' when it's on their profile for everyone to see.

I meet human beings not tick boxes. I communicate with them. We discuss important details.

Discreetly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling. "

My kids and there needs have priority over everything, I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life single to ensure they grow up happy, I never want or expect praise for the life iv chosen which is to raise them to the very very best of my abilities

Of course it's hard but I'm there dad and it's not my job to take there of them

A job we can walk away from

Ya kids are for life

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

In some ways you have to put yourself first or you will be no use to your kids, the last thing they need is exhausted, mentally drained and an unhappy lonely parent.

My daughters 20 but if I’m out for a night or weekend I still check in on her several times a day and she knows without question I’ll drive back anytime of the day or night if needed.she will always come first but I need a life too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling. "

Behave like dads?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"In some ways you have to put yourself first or you will be no use to your kids, the last thing they need is exhausted, mentally drained and an unhappy lonely parent.

My daughters 20 but if I’m out for a night or weekend I still check in on her several times a day and she knows without question I’ll drive back anytime of the day or night if needed.she will always come first but I need a life too "

I think its different when the kids are older.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's loads of things I'd like to post on this thread

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I wouldn't want to be with a man who put anyone else before his children.

I have a cousin who told her boyfriend to choose between his daughter and her.

He chose her.

My cousin's reasoning was to justify why she made him choose, but it was purely because she's a horrible cunt who wanted all his attention and time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling. "

Do what!????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling. "

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?"

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"In some ways you have to put yourself first or you will be no use to your kids, the last thing they need is exhausted, mentally drained and an unhappy lonely parent.

My daughters 20 but if I’m out for a night or weekend I still check in on her several times a day and she knows without question I’ll drive back anytime of the day or night if needed.she will always come first but I need a life too "

I do agree.

I think that you need to look at the image that you’re portraying to your children; a healthy approach to adulthood or one of privation and restraint for the benefit of children?

It kind of plays into the image that people with kids can’t be sexual or have a social life, which is also part of the taboo of swinging...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at "

Of course it should be the bare minimum.

"Wow you are being respectful and seeking consent. Well done!"

It's incredibly unusual. Hence the astonishment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all.... "

What don't you understand?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling. "

Unusual to who? I fully expect every father to act like a dad and maybe it’s just who I surround myself with but I haven’t come across a man who just babysits his kids yet. I have come across women who don’t think their man can handle it tho

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Why on earth do people even say on their profiles that they've got kids? It's a sex site not a dating site.

Bit weird to be telling thousands of strangers.

Clarity.

Discreet clarity.

If a profile you liked had no indication of commitment and you found out via messaging to a build to an eventual meet would you be happy that he'd waited until then to tell you or would you have rather known at the first read of the profile so you could make a decision on whether to pursue it or not

Hardly 'discreet' when it's on their profile for everyone to see.

I meet human beings not tick boxes. I communicate with them. We discuss important details.

Discreetly. "

Its not like your get the full lowdown on them. Name age, school, shoe size, clothing size is it.

Its a simple clarification of having kids to base your instant decision on whether to pursue any further

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?"

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?"

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thread hasn't really incorporated swinging, perhaps it wasn't meant to. But parenting swinging couples face the same practicalities as single parents. They tend to have better support and opportunity. Couples and singles do swing if the circumstances allow it.

The spectre of the McCanns hangs over any parent. But folk need to care and love themselves enough to keep mentally well adjusted. Otherwise they won't be able to offer their best for their children.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Unusual to who? I fully expect every father to act like a dad and maybe it’s just who I surround myself with but I haven’t come across a man who just babysits his kids yet. I have come across women who don’t think their man can handle it tho "
I agree with this all the dads i know are very hands on and 50%.

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ? "

I'm standing the line with you here on this one bud!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at

Of course it should be the bare minimum.

"Wow you are being respectful and seeking consent. Well done!"

It's incredibly unusual. Hence the astonishment. "

Then perhaps we should stop congratulating people for doing it then?

Being a father and good parental figure to a child/ren really isn’t unusual, I’m in a group of literally thousands and thousands of them. Most of the time, they just do it quietly, much like mums.

If we congratulate mothers for looking after their kids, there would be uproar at the patronising attitude.

The perception that most guys don’t is false

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok...im a single dad full time

I joined here because I need adult connection...I gave up on a dating site because I wouldn't be able to give a new relationship the time that it needs....my swinging will always be arranged around my son...hence the cannot accommodate. If that puts people off then so be it....I dont lose sleep over other people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok...im a single dad full time

I joined here because I need adult connection...I gave up on a dating site because I wouldn't be able to give a new relationship the time that it needs....my swinging will always be arranged around my son...hence the cannot accommodate. If that puts people off then so be it....I dont lose sleep over other people "

I gave up on the dating crack because apparently my expectations are too high ?

I don't believe my expectations can ever be too high when it comes to how I expect a woman to treat my kids and myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv found that it's difficult for a woman to genuinely bond with another woman's kids

The trust I could've had for another woman I feel has vanished

I'd rather be on my own

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"In some ways you have to put yourself first or you will be no use to your kids, the last thing they need is exhausted, mentally drained and an unhappy lonely parent.

My daughters 20 but if I’m out for a night or weekend I still check in on her several times a day and she knows without question I’ll drive back anytime of the day or night if needed.she will always come first but I need a life too

I do agree.

I think that you need to look at the image that you’re portraying to your children; a healthy approach to adulthood or one of privation and restraint for the benefit of children?

It kind of plays into the image that people with kids can’t be sexual or have a social life, which is also part of the taboo of swinging..."

I agree with this.

I think if my child came to me years down the line and told me he didn't feel as though he could do things for himself, or that he felt constricted etc because of children I'd be gutted. Gutted that I hadn't given him a positive enough role model and shown him you can have both and it's healthy to have both.

Of course I don't mean him fucking off to the pub every night or taking the piss, but everyone needs to be reminded they're more than "just" mum/dad. Whether that's having a hobby or just a few hours to themselves once a fortnight to chill and practice self care.

Burnout is no good to anyone including the children.

It can also lead the children to feeling guilty that their parent sacrificed so much of themselves, even though they swear "it's no sacrifice, you're my child and I'd do anything for you"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at

Of course it should be the bare minimum.

"Wow you are being respectful and seeking consent. Well done!"

It's incredibly unusual. Hence the astonishment.

Then perhaps we should stop congratulating people for doing it then?

Being a father and good parental figure to a child/ren really isn’t unusual, I’m in a group of literally thousands and thousands of them. Most of the time, they just do it quietly, much like mums.

If we congratulate mothers for looking after their kids, there would be uproar at the patronising attitude.

The perception that most guys don’t is false"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In some ways you have to put yourself first or you will be no use to your kids, the last thing they need is exhausted, mentally drained and an unhappy lonely parent.

My daughters 20 but if I’m out for a night or weekend I still check in on her several times a day and she knows without question I’ll drive back anytime of the day or night if needed.she will always come first but I need a life too

I do agree.

I think that you need to look at the image that you’re portraying to your children; a healthy approach to adulthood or one of privation and restraint for the benefit of children?

It kind of plays into the image that people with kids can’t be sexual or have a social life, which is also part of the taboo of swinging...

I agree with this.

I think if my child came to me years down the line and told me he didn't feel as though he could do things for himself, or that he felt constricted etc because of children I'd be gutted. Gutted that I hadn't given him a positive enough role model and shown him you can have both and it's healthy to have both.

Of course I don't mean him fucking off to the pub every night or taking the piss, but everyone needs to be reminded they're more than "just" mum/dad. Whether that's having a hobby or just a few hours to themselves once a fortnight to chill and practice self care.

Burnout is no good to anyone including the children.

It can also lead the children to feeling guilty that their parent sacrificed so much of themselves, even though they swear "it's no sacrifice, you're my child and I'd do anything for you"

"

The last sentence

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody came or will come before my kids. And id not expect a woman to put me before her kids also. Had a few women get arsey on the dating scene cos i had kids. I blocked and moved on was my answer to them. Jenny is amazing with my kids to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a simple answer for me, kids come first and I completely respect those who do.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at

Of course it should be the bare minimum.

"Wow you are being respectful and seeking consent. Well done!"

It's incredibly unusual. Hence the astonishment.

Then perhaps we should stop congratulating people for doing it then?

Being a father and good parental figure to a child/ren really isn’t unusual, I’m in a group of literally thousands and thousands of them. Most of the time, they just do it quietly, much like mums.

If we congratulate mothers for looking after their kids, there would be uproar at the patronising attitude.

The perception that most guys don’t is false"

I totally disagree with this. I'm lucky to have friends who are really supportive of each other instead of the competitiveness you often get between women and I regularly see the mums tell each other they're doing an amazing job and they're great mums. I think the world needs more of it. Parenting can be fucking hard and everybody else thinks they're an expert and can raise your kids better than you. Of course there's expectations that being a good parent is just a given but that doesn't always mean it's easy or that people don't doubt themselves at times.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a simple answer for me, kids come first and I completely respect those who do."

Try finding a woman with the same mind set

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham


"Iv found that it's difficult for a woman to genuinely bond with another woman's kids

The trust I could've had for another woman I feel has vanished

I'd rather be on my own "

Difficult but not impossible. I genuinely bonded with my ex husbands children and love them as I do my own. They were adults when I left their father so I stepped back and didn’t put any pressure on them to stay in touch as I didn’t want them to feel like they were choosing sides. All three told me I was being stupid and I was as much their mother as their biological mother and family get togethers now are strange to say the least but it works for us as a family. I have 8 beautiful grandchildren and I don’t have any regrets about taking on someone else’s children.

The right person for you and your family will come along when it’s the right time

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's days I could do with a hugg, nothing in it just a hugg

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Ok...im a single dad full time

I joined here because I need adult connection...I gave up on a dating site because I wouldn't be able to give a new relationship the time that it needs....my swinging will always be arranged around my son...hence the cannot accommodate. If that puts people off then so be it....I dont lose sleep over other people "

This .... although I do get a lot more time nowadays and am child free every other weekend. When they were tiny no they needed me but now I can start to rebuild something for me. I feel I need to role model a successful balance and them seeing me going out and being social (no details obviously) is a healthy adult thing to do. I save my real playtime for when they’re at their dads though xx

Ps there is also a double standard re starting again men usually are able to remarry and have second families a lot more frequently than women do. You don’t as commonly find women on dating sites with Tiny children as you do men. Women tend to put their lives on hold for their children whether they’re still with their dad or not... I believe this leads to a lot of married men on here too but that’s another subject.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"There's days I could do with a hugg, nothing in it just a hugg "

Hell yes!! And someone else to make me a cuppa!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *usty kayWoman
over a year ago

Burnham


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

I don’t know where that assumption comes from but I know plenty of dads who resent being applauded and patronised for doing what should be a very basic thing.

It’s like congratulating a guy for being respectful or seeking consent. It should be the bare minimum.

I think that a lot of people hear stories from other women and don’t check the one sided arbitrary accounts. The vast majority of guys want to be good dads. It’s the assumption and biases that need to be looked at

Of course it should be the bare minimum.

"Wow you are being respectful and seeking consent. Well done!"

It's incredibly unusual. Hence the astonishment.

Then perhaps we should stop congratulating people for doing it then?

Being a father and good parental figure to a child/ren really isn’t unusual, I’m in a group of literally thousands and thousands of them. Most of the time, they just do it quietly, much like mums.

If we congratulate mothers for looking after their kids, there would be uproar at the patronising attitude.

The perception that most guys don’t is false

I totally disagree with this. I'm lucky to have friends who are really supportive of each other instead of the competitiveness you often get between women and I regularly see the mums tell each other they're doing an amazing job and they're great mums. I think the world needs more of it. Parenting can be fucking hard and everybody else thinks they're an expert and can raise your kids better than you. Of course there's expectations that being a good parent is just a given but that doesn't always mean it's easy or that people don't doubt themselves at times. "

I tried writing this message three times and couldn’t get the words right!

All parents, mothers, fathers, step, adoptive, grandparents and carers and anyone else stepping up to the mark should be congratulated and praised when they need it. Parenting it hard and often lonely. I can’t imagine doing it on my own and have the utmost respect for single parents. Everyone deserves to be told when they are doing a good job

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Unusual to who? I fully expect every father to act like a dad and maybe it’s just who I surround myself with but I haven’t come across a man who just babysits his kids yet. I have come across women who don’t think their man can handle it tho I agree with this all the dads i know are very hands on and 50%. "

Every Dad I know/are in my family have been or are hands on, apart from my own dad and he was stymied by my mother constantly taking him to court for no reason.

My brother does absolutely everything that a parent could or should do (as does his wife - they are a partnership).

My own Mr KC is a phenomenal dad and husband. Again, there's no aspect of parenting he hasn't or doesn't do. I'll even include him in breastfeeding because he was a dab hand at helping get her latched and was always on hand to help me with the pump etc when I was relactating.

Mr KC and I got together at sixth form (so you can guess at our ages). I had my son who was 18 months, he will be 19yrs this year. Mr KC has been there for him for the past 17-and-a-bit years, unfailingly. He's the model of everything a man should be, as far as I'm concerned but the minutiae is perhaps for a thread with a different theme.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Kids come first regardless of the gender of the parent. Simples.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"It's a simple answer for me, kids come first and I completely respect those who do.

Try finding a woman with the same mind set "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's days I could do with a hugg, nothing in it just a hugg

Hell yes!! And someone else to make me a cuppa!!"

My little girls health ain't the greatest

She has a rare auto immune disease called scleroderma

She has bilateral linear morphea

Not everyone knows what this is including doctors

She is 10 years old and she is currently on chemo therapy and if been firing needles into her legs every week for the past 12 months

Yes I could do with a hugg at times but I'm also wanting to keep everyone away from me

Yes it's hard but I'm her dad

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent. "

Been a single dad for a few years. I find that you are pretty much ignored in society , Single mums are the norm and a lot of people can't believe single dads exist. Seems to be a few round here tho ...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"Iv found that it's difficult for a woman to genuinely bond with another woman's kids

The trust I could've had for another woman I feel has vanished

I'd rather be on my own "

That's a shame, I treat everyone else's kids like their my own. I was even prepared to take my brother's girlfriends kids on when she passed, because I genuinely thought of them as my niece's and nephew. Didn't matter that they weren't blood related.

I don't agree with people saying women expect other men to take their kids on, I never did and neither did any of my friends.

It's really hard when you're a single parent, your judged for staying home, for going to work, for being single, for having partners.

As long as the kids have everything they need, that's the main thing!

But you should always try and make time for yourselves.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"There's days I could do with a hugg, nothing in it just a hugg

Hell yes!! And someone else to make me a cuppa!!

My little girls health ain't the greatest

She has a rare auto immune disease called scleroderma

She has bilateral linear morphea

Not everyone knows what this is including doctors

She is 10 years old and she is currently on chemo therapy and if been firing needles into her legs every week for the past 12 months

Yes I could do with a hugg at times but I'm also wanting to keep everyone away from me

Yes it's hard but I'm her dad "

look all you can do is your best is what I say to single fathers.

look after them care for them and see them grow up, becoming there own adult themselves.

its really worth it in the end.

Even ive been greatly thanked by son/stepson as I took him on at 3 when ex left.

Id known him since he was 1 year old made no difference to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling" "

Not to me it isn't. It is all I ever knew growing up, raised by a single Dad he put me first and foremost. It was other peoples attitudes which I couldn't understand, late 70's early 80's and my Dad was accused of all sorts.

I can remember social services coming round because one of the neighbours couldn't keep her oar out, they came saw we were clean and had quite a nice house with food in the cupboard and left saying my Dad was doing a great job.

It seems attitudes haven't really progressed any and that is such a shame....

I have dated single Dads and never expected him to put me above his kids, and they never did. Jesus christ why would you? To me a measure of a man is how he treats his kids and pets

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for."

I'll always come second to Ms daughter and he'll come second to the boys. But it's not exactly how we see it now we're a family, doesn't matter whose biologically whose.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for.

I'll always come second to Ms daughter and he'll come second to the boys. But it's not exactly how we see it now we're a family, doesn't matter whose biologically whose. "

And that's as it should be. Always. And once you're a family, that's different again.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for.

I'll always come second to Ms daughter and he'll come second to the boys. But it's not exactly how we see it now we're a family, doesn't matter whose biologically whose. "

You are an amazing person if your able to keep that mindset

Women that can get my up most respect

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising "

So I'm a cunt for getting burned and putting my walls up to protect myself in the future?

I don't for a millisecond believe that all men are liars and cheats and will use their kids as part of the prop. I am however still processing and grieving to a degree I suppose. Not grieving the ex, but the person I was who had hope.

I would never expect to be put before someone else's children, but I would appreciate compromise at times depending on the situation, same as I would compromise with work (as that's now my main "hurdle" as far as restrictions go)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling"

Not to me it isn't. It is all I ever knew growing up, raised by a single Dad he put me first and foremost. It was other peoples attitudes which I couldn't understand, late 70's early 80's and my Dad was accused of all sorts.

I can remember social services coming round because one of the neighbours couldn't keep her oar out, they came saw we were clean and had quite a nice house with food in the cupboard and left saying my Dad was doing a great job.

It seems attitudes haven't really progressed any and that is such a shame....

I have dated single Dads and never expected him to put me above his kids, and they never did. Jesus christ why would you? To me a measure of a man is how he treats his kids and pets

"

Nothing much has changed.

I was reported to social services for going out at night and leaving my kids alone...... I didn’t go out at all for years. I had no baby sitter or family near and my two ex’s never had the kids.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for.

I'll always come second to Ms daughter and he'll come second to the boys. But it's not exactly how we see it now we're a family, doesn't matter whose biologically whose.

You are an amazing person if your able to keep that mindset

Women that can get my up most respect "

I'm not competing with his daughter for his attention or love or anything else. The love between two adults is completely different than that between their children, so there is genuinely no need. My needs will always come behind the kids, that will never ever change.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isces WomanWoman
over a year ago

West London

I'm a single lady and the connections I've had with fathers has gone this way

Very interested lots of chat then ghosting

Make an arrangement that then hasto change due to the child/children.

No follow up communication.

I'm expected to be ok with all the flaky arrangements.

Just remember to connect and communicate.

So now I'm done with dad's.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth


"I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising "

Is it more of a case of women that don't have their own children? As a mum myself I treat people how I would expect to be treated.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising "

You’re on a thread with parents and step parents... don’t understand who you are calling cunts?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread has saddened me. I really hoped that it would turn out that people didn't think of single dads differently from single mums. But it seems they do. And the examples that single, full time fathers have given have made me sadder.

Kids come first. They always should. It makes no difference the sex of the primary or only caregiver.

I would never dream of trying to take over as the most important person in a parent's life. I didn't think I was that unusual, but maybe I am. Maybe if those of us who think that way can prove it, we will make things a bit better for the men we care for.

I'll always come second to Ms daughter and he'll come second to the boys. But it's not exactly how we see it now we're a family, doesn't matter whose biologically whose.

You are an amazing person if your able to keep that mindset

Women that can get my up most respect

I'm not competing with his daughter for his attention or love or anything else. The love between two adults is completely different than that between their children, so there is genuinely no need. My needs will always come behind the kids, that will never ever change. "

If I knew how to drop a heart here I would

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising

So I'm a cunt for getting burned and putting my walls up to protect myself in the future?

I don't for a millisecond believe that all men are liars and cheats and will use their kids as part of the prop. I am however still processing and grieving to a degree I suppose. Not grieving the ex, but the person I was who had hope.

I would never expect to be put before someone else's children, but I would appreciate compromise at times depending on the situation, same as I would compromise with work (as that's now my main "hurdle" as far as restrictions go)

"

You're not demanding to be put first. That's the difference between you and the situations described. Compromise is different from expecting everything to be dropped for you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm not saying all women are the same but with regards to this thread then yes

The majority of them are cunts

No I'm not apologising

Is it more of a case of women that don't have their own children? As a mum myself I treat people how I would expect to be treated."

I have no children.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isces WomanWoman
over a year ago

West London

Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought."

As do I

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent.

Been a single dad for a few years. I find that you are pretty much ignored in society , Single mums are the norm and a lot of people can't believe single dads exist. Seems to be a few round here tho ..."

I felt I had to be faultless with my kids as the single mums and the stay at home mums at the school were just looking for anything they could criticise.

They were all helping each other out and were nice enough to my face but I was told a few thing by my girls that their friends had told them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling"

Not to me it isn't. It is all I ever knew growing up, raised by a single Dad he put me first and foremost. It was other peoples attitudes which I couldn't understand, late 70's early 80's and my Dad was accused of all sorts.

I can remember social services coming round because one of the neighbours couldn't keep her oar out, they came saw we were clean and had quite a nice house with food in the cupboard and left saying my Dad was doing a great job.

It seems attitudes haven't really progressed any and that is such a shame....

I have dated single Dads and never expected him to put me above his kids, and they never did. Jesus christ why would you? To me a measure of a man is how he treats his kids and pets

Nothing much has changed.

I was reported to social services for going out at night and leaving my kids alone...... I didn’t go out at all for years. I had no baby sitter or family near and my two ex’s never had the kids.

"

I absolutely feel your pain there. I was reported a couple of years ago for being "Absent" for the weekend and my son alone with no adult supervision.

SS interviewed me with a book full of questions and wanted explanation.

I was most certainly not at home all weekend and neither was my son cos we were both on a coach trip to legoland. But as usual.... People don't see these simple explanations when men do the parenting holidays.......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought."

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a single lady and the connections I've had with fathers has gone this way

Very interested lots of chat then ghosting

Make an arrangement that then hasto change due to the child/children.

No follow up communication.

I'm expected to be ok with all the flaky arrangements.

Just remember to connect and communicate.

So now I'm done with dad's."

Thats a shame because im sure that happens with everyone regardless of being a single parent, your blaming someone's flakiness on being a parent????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

"

I like YOU TOO!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a single lady and the connections I've had with fathers has gone this way

Very interested lots of chat then ghosting

Make an arrangement that then hasto change due to the child/children.

No follow up communication.

I'm expected to be ok with all the flaky arrangements.

Just remember to connect and communicate.

So now I'm done with dad's.

Thats a shame because im sure that happens with everyone regardless of being a single parent, your blaming someone's flakiness on being a parent????"

But it's totally different if reversed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

"

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *otSoPosh OP   Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent.

Been a single dad for a few years. I find that you are pretty much ignored in society , Single mums are the norm and a lot of people can't believe single dads exist. Seems to be a few round here tho ...

I felt I had to be faultless with my kids as the single mums and the stay at home mums at the school were just looking for anything they could criticise.

They were all helping each other out and were nice enough to my face but I was told a few thing by my girls that their friends had told them. "

That's another awful shifting standard dependant on the sex of the parent. It's widely assumed fathers won't do as good a job as mothers, and I know several men who do a better job than the mothers of their children.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent.

Been a single dad for a few years. I find that you are pretty much ignored in society , Single mums are the norm and a lot of people can't believe single dads exist. Seems to be a few round here tho ...

I felt I had to be faultless with my kids as the single mums and the stay at home mums at the school were just looking for anything they could criticise.

They were all helping each other out and were nice enough to my face but I was told a few thing by my girls that their friends had told them.

That's another awful shifting standard dependant on the sex of the parent. It's widely assumed fathers won't do as good a job as mothers, and I know several men who do a better job than the mothers of their children."

Fuck man. I get told things that parents have said about me at my sons school that you couldn't print in a book.... But that's a whole new thread.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication "

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After looking after my 2 children and putting them first before me.

After few years eldest 7, I started to venture out not date but socialise.

These sites helped.

I did find something out though.

The ladies expect you to take there children on and except them.

Theres not many ladies that would take a mans children on.

There fine to congratulate you on what your doing and what a fine job your doing being a single parent.

Been a single dad for a few years. I find that you are pretty much ignored in society , Single mums are the norm and a lot of people can't believe single dads exist. Seems to be a few round here tho ...

I felt I had to be faultless with my kids as the single mums and the stay at home mums at the school were just looking for anything they could criticise.

They were all helping each other out and were nice enough to my face but I was told a few thing by my girls that their friends had told them.

That's another awful shifting standard dependant on the sex of the parent. It's widely assumed fathers won't do as good a job as mothers, and I know several men who do a better job than the mothers of their children."

Single dads, in my experience, go above and beyond, partly driven by the determination to succeed with the world picking them apart.

I’ve seen single mums bitching and moaning about their ex’s. How hard it is etc.

I got zero from my ex’s.

I agreed it was hard at times once..... never again because they turned on me saying I’d chosen to take them on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heekyflickWoman
over a year ago

LINCOLN


"Some use their own "loving parent" title as a way of hiding the fact they're not fucking separated and doing the dirty, coz you leave them to parent which gives them actual family time not just parent & child time.

Tis a minefield.

peach... Please tell me you haven't had that experience??

You aint read my profile have ya "

I have...loved it lol..pure honesty..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts "

I think my stepkids would disagree.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree. "

Then your not in the majority your in the minority

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ? "

Do you think you are?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts "

The majority of what now? Jesus

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ?

Do you think you are?"

Honestly never really given it much thought

Get up and do what needs doing go to bed then repeat

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling" "

I think it's petty obvious what I mean.

The fact that a few men have had to describe what they do for their kids shows how unusual it is.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree. "

I saw my abusive ex's lad in the street in between lockdowns. He shouted my name and gave me the biggest hug. He saw me protect him from his dad, he saw me jump in the way of his dad when he was brandishing a crooklock ready to go smash a dudes head in. I treated that boy the same as my own son for 11 years. As we said our goodbyes he told me he loved me, and I told him my door would always be open for him.

I'm such a cunt.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ?

Do you think you are?

Honestly never really given it much thought

Get up and do what needs doing go to bed then repeat "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ?

Do you think you are?"

I know I'm doing my best and also think that my best ain't enough, of course failure worries me but not for me, for them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree.

I saw my abusive ex's lad in the street in between lockdowns. He shouted my name and gave me the biggest hug. He saw me protect him from his dad, he saw me jump in the way of his dad when he was brandishing a crooklock ready to go smash a dudes head in. I treated that boy the same as my own son for 11 years. As we said our goodbyes he told me he loved me, and I told him my door would always be open for him.

I'm such a cunt."

The step parent role is very special in itself peach x there’s nothing more beautiful than a grown up kid coming to you because they want to and they value you, not just because you happen to be with a parent. You’re a million miles from a cunt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree.

I saw my abusive ex's lad in the street in between lockdowns. He shouted my name and gave me the biggest hug. He saw me protect him from his dad, he saw me jump in the way of his dad when he was brandishing a crooklock ready to go smash a dudes head in. I treated that boy the same as my own son for 11 years. As we said our goodbyes he told me he loved me, and I told him my door would always be open for him.

I'm such a cunt."

You are also in the minority in that case

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Well I'm a single dad doing my best to raise my 8 and 10 year olds, I'm self employed and work my arse off then go home to make tea, clean up and everything else

I can't recall the last time I had a night off

Am i acting like a dad ?

Do you think you are?

I know I'm doing my best and also think that my best ain't enough, of course failure worries me but not for me, for them "

Most parents question their parenting, feel like they ain't doing a good enough job, should do more, be more, provide more.

Then cry in private coz they don't wanna look weak.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree.

I saw my abusive ex's lad in the street in between lockdowns. He shouted my name and gave me the biggest hug. He saw me protect him from his dad, he saw me jump in the way of his dad when he was brandishing a crooklock ready to go smash a dudes head in. I treated that boy the same as my own son for 11 years. As we said our goodbyes he told me he loved me, and I told him my door would always be open for him.

I'm such a cunt."

I think we’ve established you’re not one of the ‘cunts’

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's as simple as this, if you can't see a man make sure his kids needs come before yours then you are a cunt

Man or woman

You are a cunt

Whether or not you are a cunt depends on you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I do find it interesting how people are reacting towards the guys who say that they give their children ‘full attention’ as opposed to the women that say the same.

This is kind of what the OP was talking about; the double standards that exist in people’s attitudes towards parenting and genders

Because the majority of mums look after their kids like mums.

The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling.

Behave like dads?

Yeah. I just thought that an'all....

What don't you understand?

Perhaps you'd like to clarify in some depth what you mean by

"The majority of men 'baby sit' their kids.

If a man actually behaves like a dad it's unusual and startling"

I think it's petty obvious what I mean.

The fact that a few men have had to describe what they do for their kids shows how unusual it is. "

It's not unusual for dads to be, well, dads! There are piss poor parents yes, of all genders, unfortunately.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Cunts is harsh.

I just want to be treated with respect. Not as an after thought.

Being jealous of someone's kids is even harsher

This is 1 subject I'm not apologising for and never ever will

I haven't seen a single example of anyone being jealous over another persons kids. I have seen differing expectations and lack of communication

Your not a single dad and it's likely impossible for you to see or experience these things

I stand by what I say when it comes to this thread

The majority of women are cunts

I think my stepkids would disagree.

Then your not in the majority your in the minority "

Maybe that’s because my ex and I worked hard to create the best possible life we could. It’s bloody tough at times. But don’t for one second think that joining a family unit is simple because it’s not. It’s not for everybody but it’s magical when you make it work. Not all women are cunts.. sometimes the relationship just isn’t strong enough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh God where to start! So I have had men lie to me about where they were, citing their children as their reason. The main one was someone I had a 2 year relationship with, even went on hols but never introduced me to his teen child.

Makes it hard to trust again.

I respect people who put their children first, but I also think as single parents, we need time for ourselves, to be something other than a parent, to be a sexual being. Just not at the expense of our children.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I respect people who put their children first, but I also think as single parents, we need time for ourselves, to be something other than a parent, to be a sexual being. Just not at the expense of our children.

"

In my experience it was ok for women to demand a break. Yes demand.

If a man asked for one he was accused of not caring. Of being selfish. “You wanted them. Deal with it”.

The actual parenting has the same ups and downs but single mums can be angry people who can’t seem to differentiate between their arsehole of an ex and another single parent who’s a man.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"Iv found that it's difficult for a woman to genuinely bond with another woman's kids

The trust I could've had for another woman I feel has vanished

I'd rather be on my own "

I’m far closer to my stepmum than I am my real mum. She’s only 13 years older than me & I rocked up aged 12 & a half wanting to live with them rather than move abroad due to my soldier stepdad’s posting. She has been there for me through everything. If anything goes wrong in my life, she is the 1st person I call. Please don’t tar all women with the same brush.

J x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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